Logline Revision Critiques #19

TITLE: BREAK FREE

GENRE: YA FANTASY

Original critique on MSFV

 
Indentured
servant Kiel Reaux has one goal: deliver a spell-stone to his boss, the
Baron of Old Town, and earn his freedom before his chains become a
noose. But when the delivery goes balls up, and lands him in the hands
of slavers, Kiel is sold to a priestess who promises him freedom if he
escorts her through a murderous magical jungle. Caught between the
deadly jungle and the equally deadly Baron who’s tired of waitin...