Starting Over, if you can. Some decisions are subject to change (I apologize for its length)
AGING IN PLACE (So we thought)
Our journey started in the late 1980s with our first remodel. It was our second marriage, and rather than asking our teenage children to share a bedroom when it was “my weekend”, we created two bedrooms and a full bath on the lower level of our split-level. It was a suite with adjoining bedrooms and a private bath. That brought our bedroom count to six, making room for everyone. We also finished the small “basement” for the boys. We made our first step towards 'aging in place', a concept that involves making home modifications to allow us to live independently and comfortably as we grow older.
Seven years later, as the children grew older and went off to college, it was time to remodel for ourselves. We moved the kitchen to the back of the house, replacing the living and dining rooms. We converted the boys’ bedrooms to twin offices and expanded our master bedroom into the adjoining bedroom. We learned from our parents in wheelchairs that if we expected to age in place, the first floor needed double-wide doorways. The challenge was significant, as it required major structural changes and careful planning to ensure the new layout was both functional and aesthetically pleasing.
The next remodel around 2013 focused primarily on the master bedroom’s closets and bath. Convinced we were aging the place, we added a full bath on the main floor off the kitchen, and finally built our screened-in porch and expanded the deck.
In 2019, the former kitchen, now the den, became my hospital room. We were grateful that we added that full bath next to the new kitchen. About a year later, we cleared out the den for my wife’s recovery from a fall.
We never expected to test the concept of aging in place while we were still in our 70s, but it worked perfectly.
WE CHANGED (Big surprise - life got in the way)
As time passed, we realized we were becoming socially isolated due to mobility issues in our perfectly comfortable single-family home. Our neighbors have either moved or passed away over the last four decades. We missed them, but were happy to see younger families bring the neighbor back to life. This sense of community and connection is something we cherish and strive to maintain.
Having no intention of ever moving, we paid no attention to the new construction of a luxury CCRC just 10 minutes from our home. We finally decided to check it out and immediately added our names to their wait list. We were very late to the party.
Like every other couple, one is reluctant to change, and the other looks forward to it. Time has a way of helping to change minds.
Being late on the list, we missed getting an apartment with a den, an extra room we wanted for our home aide. The apartment we selected has two large bedrooms and a great room that houses the kitchen, living, and dining areas. It's perfect for two, but tight for three. We’re not worried; it should work out to everyone’s satisfaction.
The next issue: The Move. Going into ½ the space means different things to different people. To me, it meant starting over. My wife liked many items and wanted to keep them. We needed a talented interior designer to use every trick to make a small space look spacious and comfortable.
I think I won. Gradually, as we saw the designs, my wife realized it was the right thing to do, especially when I told her it wasn’t costing us a cent. “How’s that?” she asks. I convinced her that, with five children, none would miss their small contribution to our happiness.. The total is big, but divided by five, the resulting amount seems small.
Days are going by quickly. We cleaned out a few areas, but not enough. We have a difference of opinion as to what personal items we want to take. I admit it. I’m attached to my junk (her word, not mine). Then I came up with the perfect plan. She throws away my stuff, and I throw away hers. Problem solved. But it wasn't that simple. Parting with our possessions, even those we rarely used, was an emotional process that required us to reevaluate our attachment to material things and focus on what truly mattered to us.
Simply put, we are moving ‘for community’. By not leaving the area, we get to keep our family and friends. We simplified our move with the help of Erickson Senior Living, which gives new residents a free bridge loan to allow them to sell their homes after moving. It is such a civilized approach for seniors.
So we move in December or January. I hope it goes as planned. We hired a great agent to sell our home (my niece). We hired highly recommended senior moving and transition specialists to handle the details and provide the labor. We can just guide them without doing any physical work. Walking with a cane makes carrying anything a bit difficult.
NEW MISSION (Spread the word)
I am on a new mission with my children. At 55, they are thinking about just one aspect of retirement - the money. What they are not thinking about is housing.
We watched our parents’ health decline, and now we are experiencing ours. We started planning the living portion of our retirement 30 years ago.
It was a great plan until it wasn’t.
WHAT WE LEARNED (This is the important message)
I’ve researched living options for retirees and those needing more than just a physical place to live. I’ve learned one crucial thing. Senior housing supplies are going to be insufficient.
I heard of one place in South Carolina where they have a seven-year wait list for one-bedroom apartments and fourteen years for two. Imagine what that will be like in 10-15 years.
For people like us who don’t care to move to better climates or can no longer play sports or even walk well, we are not moving to faraway places. We want to stay with our family and friends, and, in our case, the same zip code.
The solution is to plan. There is only one way: sign up for waitlists now. Planning is not optional. It's a crucial step that we've learned the importance of, and we encourage others to act on it.
You have to be careful. Some waitlists are better than others - even ideal. For example, our assigned priority number is fixed based on the date. The refundable fee ($1000) is small.. Being on the list early or for a long time means, at some point, you’re in the top, number-one position, ahead of all others because they have made other plans, taken an apartment, or passed on. You can choose active or inactive. If you’re inactive, you will not receive contact when a unit becomes available. If you’re active, you receive a notification every time a unit matching your requirements comes up. Say “no” until you like the offer.
Consider this. You’ll have fewer options if you want to live in a particular place, like near your home or in the same town. It’s getting harder to find land in the most popular areas. For sure, it’s going to be expensive.
In two words, RESERVE NOW. Protect yourselves. It’s inexpensive to add the appropriate housing options to your financial plan.
Check out a Life Plan Community (CCRC). If you think you “might” need what they have to offer, now is the time to go on a wait list.
We have our fingers crossed that we are making the right move.
Our journey started in the late 1980s with our first remodel. It was our second marriage, and rather than asking our teenage children to share a bedroom when it was “my weekend”, we created two bedrooms and a full bath on the lower level of our split-level. It was a suite with adjoining bedrooms and a private bath. That brought our bedroom count to six, making room for everyone. We also finished the small “basement” for the boys. We made our first step towards 'aging in place', a concept that involves making home modifications to allow us to live independently and comfortably as we grow older.
Seven years later, as the children grew older and went off to college, it was time to remodel for ourselves. We moved the kitchen to the back of the house, replacing the living and dining rooms. We converted the boys’ bedrooms to twin offices and expanded our master bedroom into the adjoining bedroom. We learned from our parents in wheelchairs that if we expected to age in place, the first floor needed double-wide doorways. The challenge was significant, as it required major structural changes and careful planning to ensure the new layout was both functional and aesthetically pleasing.
The next remodel around 2013 focused primarily on the master bedroom’s closets and bath. Convinced we were aging the place, we added a full bath on the main floor off the kitchen, and finally built our screened-in porch and expanded the deck.
In 2019, the former kitchen, now the den, became my hospital room. We were grateful that we added that full bath next to the new kitchen. About a year later, we cleared out the den for my wife’s recovery from a fall.
We never expected to test the concept of aging in place while we were still in our 70s, but it worked perfectly.
WE CHANGED (Big surprise - life got in the way)
As time passed, we realized we were becoming socially isolated due to mobility issues in our perfectly comfortable single-family home. Our neighbors have either moved or passed away over the last four decades. We missed them, but were happy to see younger families bring the neighbor back to life. This sense of community and connection is something we cherish and strive to maintain.
Having no intention of ever moving, we paid no attention to the new construction of a luxury CCRC just 10 minutes from our home. We finally decided to check it out and immediately added our names to their wait list. We were very late to the party.
Like every other couple, one is reluctant to change, and the other looks forward to it. Time has a way of helping to change minds.
Being late on the list, we missed getting an apartment with a den, an extra room we wanted for our home aide. The apartment we selected has two large bedrooms and a great room that houses the kitchen, living, and dining areas. It's perfect for two, but tight for three. We’re not worried; it should work out to everyone’s satisfaction.
The next issue: The Move. Going into ½ the space means different things to different people. To me, it meant starting over. My wife liked many items and wanted to keep them. We needed a talented interior designer to use every trick to make a small space look spacious and comfortable.
I think I won. Gradually, as we saw the designs, my wife realized it was the right thing to do, especially when I told her it wasn’t costing us a cent. “How’s that?” she asks. I convinced her that, with five children, none would miss their small contribution to our happiness.. The total is big, but divided by five, the resulting amount seems small.
Days are going by quickly. We cleaned out a few areas, but not enough. We have a difference of opinion as to what personal items we want to take. I admit it. I’m attached to my junk (her word, not mine). Then I came up with the perfect plan. She throws away my stuff, and I throw away hers. Problem solved. But it wasn't that simple. Parting with our possessions, even those we rarely used, was an emotional process that required us to reevaluate our attachment to material things and focus on what truly mattered to us.
Simply put, we are moving ‘for community’. By not leaving the area, we get to keep our family and friends. We simplified our move with the help of Erickson Senior Living, which gives new residents a free bridge loan to allow them to sell their homes after moving. It is such a civilized approach for seniors.
So we move in December or January. I hope it goes as planned. We hired a great agent to sell our home (my niece). We hired highly recommended senior moving and transition specialists to handle the details and provide the labor. We can just guide them without doing any physical work. Walking with a cane makes carrying anything a bit difficult.
NEW MISSION (Spread the word)
I am on a new mission with my children. At 55, they are thinking about just one aspect of retirement - the money. What they are not thinking about is housing.
We watched our parents’ health decline, and now we are experiencing ours. We started planning the living portion of our retirement 30 years ago.
It was a great plan until it wasn’t.
WHAT WE LEARNED (This is the important message)
I’ve researched living options for retirees and those needing more than just a physical place to live. I’ve learned one crucial thing. Senior housing supplies are going to be insufficient.
I heard of one place in South Carolina where they have a seven-year wait list for one-bedroom apartments and fourteen years for two. Imagine what that will be like in 10-15 years.
For people like us who don’t care to move to better climates or can no longer play sports or even walk well, we are not moving to faraway places. We want to stay with our family and friends, and, in our case, the same zip code.
The solution is to plan. There is only one way: sign up for waitlists now. Planning is not optional. It's a crucial step that we've learned the importance of, and we encourage others to act on it.
You have to be careful. Some waitlists are better than others - even ideal. For example, our assigned priority number is fixed based on the date. The refundable fee ($1000) is small.. Being on the list early or for a long time means, at some point, you’re in the top, number-one position, ahead of all others because they have made other plans, taken an apartment, or passed on. You can choose active or inactive. If you’re inactive, you will not receive contact when a unit becomes available. If you’re active, you receive a notification every time a unit matching your requirements comes up. Say “no” until you like the offer.
Consider this. You’ll have fewer options if you want to live in a particular place, like near your home or in the same town. It’s getting harder to find land in the most popular areas. For sure, it’s going to be expensive.
In two words, RESERVE NOW. Protect yourselves. It’s inexpensive to add the appropriate housing options to your financial plan.
Check out a Life Plan Community (CCRC). If you think you “might” need what they have to offer, now is the time to go on a wait list.
We have our fingers crossed that we are making the right move.
The post Starting Over, if you can. Some decisions are subject to change (I apologize for its length) appeared first on HumbleDollar.
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