What do you Expect of Yourself?

What do you expect of yourself? And how do you feel when you can’t meet your own expectations?

Last month I wrote about types of leaders, what each type expects of others, and how our expectations influence how we manage them.  But what are our expectations of ourselves?  What we expect of others is usually the same as what we expect of ourselves, because this is what we value.

So let’s look at what these expectations mean for each of us and what causes us stress when we can’t meet them.

Expectations of yourself

How often do you think about what you expect of yourself? Probably not often. Our expectations of ourselves are so deep-seated and instinctual that we may not be aware of them. They are what motivates us, and they have a profound impact on how we think and feel. And if we don’t meet our own expectations, we experience dysfunction and stress.

What are your expecations of yourself?  Which of these four statements is most like you?

I expect others to have ideas, work independently, focus on the task, be motivated by achievement.

If you value and are motivated by contributing to progress and being strategic (Theorist pattern), you’ll feel stressed when the day-to-day demands from others prevent you spending time on innovation.

I expect others to react quickly, be practical, know what’s happening, be motivated by being in the action.

If you value and are motivated by being free to act in the moment (Improviser pattern) and using your tactical skills, you’ll feel stressed when you are held back from acting by long meetings and discussions.

I expect others to make a plan, be realistic, work hard and be motivated by responsibility.

If you value and are motivated by doing your duty to the group and using your logistical skills, (Stabiliser pattern), you’ll feel stressed when there is a lack of organisation and structure.

I expect others to collaborate, use imagination, work in harmony, be motivated by praise.

If you value and are motivated by helping others achieve their aspirations and being diplomatic (Catalyst pattern), you’ll feel stressed when there is conflict and lack of harmony

Why does this matter?

Stress arises because other people want us to meet their expectations rather than our own and place unwanted demands on us. We spend too much time fulfilling what other people need from us rather than using our real talents.

Knowing your expectations of yourself and what motivates you means you can take more control over your work and life, to spend more time on the things that energise you and less on the things that drain you. This awareness helps you to manage your negative feelings when you can’t do what you want. You’ll understand why you feel that way and what you can do about it.

Take my free quiz and get a personal report of your likely motivation pattern. Find an overview of the four motivation patterns here.  Purchase a set of easy-to-follow cards that walk you step by step through what you need to succeed!

For an in-depth look at what motivates you and how to motivate others, buy my book, Motivation: The Ultimate Guide to Leading Your Team. Use discount code MTCS25.

 

 

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