The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis Episode #7

 

The Sarah’s Journey Series had been a favorite in myearly teens. I curled up on the couch with a mug of tea and dove into Homeon Stony Creek. I was preparing to enjoy my day off.

As I enjoyed the setting of the early days of the AmericanRevolution and Sarah’s journey to the wilds of Kentucky, I sipped at my tea andenjoyed the cozy feeling.

“We are going shopping? Do you want to come with us?”

I looked up at Meg and Ivy. They were all ready to go and bythe looks on their faces, I knew they expected me to say no. I opened my mouthto do just that and then I stopped myself. Wasn’t spending some quality timewith my sister one of the things on my list? The three of us used to do so muchtogether but the last year, with my job and hurts, I had pulled out.

I could hear Ben and Asa in the other room, playing a gameof Risk, a favorite Saturday pastime for our brothers.

I stood. I had withdrawn and I wouldn’t keep doing that. “Iwould love to come with you. That is…” I looked between them. “If you want me.I know I haven’t been the best company.”

“Of course we want you!” Meg rushed to give me a hug.

Ivy didn’t look as eager but she nodded her head.

I put my book down. “I’ll be ready in a few moments.”

I rushed into my room and changed clothes, made sure toreapply deodorant, and grabbed my purse. I was about to rush out the door whenI saw my list of things to do. I glanced at the page that held things I wantedto do with my siblings.

Take my sisters tothat fancy ice cream place we’ve wanted to try.

I nodded. That would be the one I would do with them. Itwould be fun, spontaneous, and enjoyable despite the cold.

I took a deep breath and offered a prayer that I would be ablessing to my sisters.

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“I can’t believe how good this is,” Meg said between bitesof her vanilla ice cream loaded with candy bits.

Ivy nodded as she licked away at her blueberry cheesecake ice cream in the fresh-made waffle cone.

I smile as I scoop up another bite of cookies and creamfrom my dish. “It really is good.”

“We should come here more often,” Meg said. “Make it aregular girls thing.”

I smiled at my enthusiastic sister but said nothing. I enjoyed doing this for them. I loved the ice cream, but it wasn’t cheap. Ididn’t think any of us would be coming here for a while.

“I just wish we could have more fun.” Meg set down herspoon. “Since Dad and Mom announced they were going into counseling, everyonehas been mopping and acting like we are waiting for someone to die.”

“Can we not talk about this?” Ivy shifted in her seat andher eyes darted around.

“Why? Why can’t we ever talk about what’s going on? Is theresomething I don’t know?” Meg asked.

“I’m just tired of talking about sad things.” Ivy swallowed andstared at her ice cream like she suddenly didn’t want it. “Can’t we just havefun?”

Meg sighed. “Why does everything have to be about what youwant. Just because you’re the youngest doesn’t make life about you.”

As the oldest, I felt I should probably say or do something,but I wasn’t sure what I should say or do. Somehow, I felt like if I had been readingmy Bible like I should, I would at least have an idea of what I should say.

Tears slipped down Ivy’s face. “That’s not true. I just amtired of all the sad stuff.”

I took a deep breath, knowing I had to intervene.

“It can be hard when everything has been so heavy not towant to keep things light. Meg, maybe you and I can talk about things when weget home.”

Meg crossed her arms. “Why is everyone avoiding this.”

“Maybe because we are all afraid of what this means for ourfamily if Mom and Dad don’t work things out.” I blurted.

Ivy set her one down on the table and covered her eyes withher hands.

Great, I had made this into a worse mess. “Ivy, I’m sorry.I…”

“Are they going to divorce?”

“Of course not.”

“I don’t think so.” My answer overlapped Meg's. I moved towardIvy. “I’m really sorry things are so rough right now. We can try to make thingshappy for the rest of the day.”

Ivy huffed. “All you do is mop around and think about howyou’ve been hurt. Why do you suddenly care?” She dashed off toward thebathroom.

Tears sprung to my eyes. I felt like I had been stabbed. HereI had been trying to give my sisters a good time and I had caused them more pain.Is that all I was capable of these days? Feeling pain and causing it?

No, I needed to also remember what Joan had said. I neededto combat these lies and remind myself of God’s truth. We were all hurting. Ithad been a hard year for all of us. I had just drifted away further because ofeverything with Jessie.

“I’m sorry. I just thought it might help if we talked.” Meghad her arms crossed and leaned back in her chair. She looked for all the worldlike a sulking toddler.

I took a deep breath. “I think you’re right, but Ivy wantedthis to be a fun day.”

“She always wants things to be fun and happy! She neverwants to talk about hard things. And please don’t remind me she isonly seventeen. I’m tired of that line.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t going to tell you that. I wasgoing to suggest you and I have a long talk about things and hopefully, Ivy will…

“I’m sorry.” Ivy’s choked whisper brought both of us to lookat her. “I just…” her tears spilled over again. “I heard someone say Dad andMom would probably be divorced by summer and it… I don’t want to think aboutit.”

I reached out a hand to her. “None of us want to think aboutthat. I don’t think our parents even consider that a possibility okay?”

“Then why are they in counseling every week and acting madwith each other?” Ivy asked, wiping her eyes.

I pressed my lips together, trying to decide how much tosay. I knew more than I wanted to know. “Dad…did some stuff in the past Momjust found out about.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby. I know about the pornography.”

I swallowed. I wished we lived in a world where neither Inor any of my siblings had to know those sorts of things existed. “I wasn’tthinking you were a baby. I just wasn’t sure everyone had been told. Anyway,they have a lot to work through.”

“Do you think they will stay married?”

Both my sisters looked at me like I was their lifeline. Itook a bite of my ice cream and then nodded slowly. “I think they will. But wecan’t expect them to be happy and back to normal in a few weeks. It is going totake time.”

Both of them looked like I had given them hope. I reachedand took each of their hands, grateful for the connection and closeness Ishared with them.

“We’ll get through this together.”

They smiled and looked at each other.

“Now, let’s eat our ice cream and then go get some stuffedanimals or something else fun.

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As I sat on my bed, I pulled out my Mercies notebook.

Mercies this week:

Ice cream with mysisters

The ability to crytogether

My new stuffed RedPanda, Lucy

God’s gift of sisters

The Sarah's Journey Series, including Home on Stoney Creek, were some of my favorites in my early teens. Find them on Amazon and Goodreads.