Do you feel like a ‘beggar’ in love?Expectations from the other makes you a pauper.
Begging for love, care, attention, ring or respect?
What I know of love is, that in ‘love’, everything is given away freely. It is not something we have to ask or beg for.
But sadly, we take the power from us and give it to the other when we seek love from the other. And in this process, we keep diminishing our self-respect, our value, our self-worth. We constantly ask the other to give us what we should be giving ourselves.
Once we start our inner work, we would understand these precious words of Rumi. “The wonders we seek outside, we carry within.” — Rumi
Let’s talk about the lists which we carry in our heads, things we seek in our partner.
“I want someone who will be the most amazing person who will change my life.”
“I want someone who will be my best friend for life.”
“I want someone who is always be my well-wisher and cheerleader.”
“I want someone to protect me from the evils of the world.”
“I want someone who will accept me the way I am.”
“I want someone who will make me a better person each passing day.”
“I want someone who will loving towards me, my family and my mother.”
“I want someone who will lighten me after I return home from a mad day at work.”
“I want someone who will understand me.”
“I want someone who will support me through thick and thin.”
“I want someone who will appreciate my beauty and my talents.”
“I want someone who will appreciate my presence.”
“I want someone who will give me love, care and attention.”
“I want someone who will make me feel secure.”
“I want someone who will give me financial and emotional security.”
“I want someone who will make feel peaceful and free me of my anxiety.”
“I want someone who will fill this vacuum in my life, this loneliness.”
“I want someone who will make me laugh and dry my tears.”
“I want someone I can travel the world with.”
“I want someone who will turn my boring life into something interesting.”
What’s your list like?
God made us unique and wonderful, and here we are hunting for someone unique and wonderful to come in our life.
We are busy hunting outside, what we should be hunting within. So, what we actually do is, take the power given to us by creator and give it to another. We go against His will. We go on a prowl for the perfect man or woman rather than focussing on being the perfect man or woman.
All the things we are seeking outside(the list mentioned above and the list you have), have we ever thought of giving that to us ourselves?
Let’s try shifting the responsibility from our list mentioned above from the other to our own self.
“I am the most amazing person and I can change my life.”
“I accept me the way I am.”
“I am a better person with each passing day.”
“I am so loving to me, loving to my family, loving to my mother.”
“I lighten me after I return home from a mad day at work.”
“I understand me.”
“I am supporting me through thick and thin.”
“I am appreciative of my beauty and my talents.”
“I am appreciative of my presence.”
“I am giving me love, care and attention.”
“I give me financial and emotional security.”
“I am peaceful and free me of my anxiety.”
“I am filling this vacuum in my life, turning this loneliness into a blessing.”
“I am someone who makes me laugh and dries my tears.”
The reason for love or marriage cannot be to fulfil any list. If there are conditions, it is not love, it is a business deal.
Any planning leads us to hell. Love is a natural. It happens from a state of ‘no mind.’ When we are in a state of self-love(not egoic love).
Where no pros and cons exist. Where we don’t judge the plusses and minuses of having that person in our life. Where we just surrender in complete devotion. Where we are already one at some plane. Where his benefit is your benefit too.
If you don’t feel like that for the one you are getting married to, please don’t marry yet.
I’m just here to trigger you into that marriage within. To have a connection with you first. That union within. That completeness within. That union of inner masculine and feminine within. So that you manifest your true love effortlessly. Without begging or forcing a relationship.
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