Shoneeka's Blog
April 19, 2025
Depression is a friend.
Depression is a friend.
It is a sign that there is something in our life we don't like. Somewhere we are faking something. We are not real. We want something to change but don't know how. And we keep going through that feeling, day after day, month after month, lifetime after lifetime, it settles in us as chronic sadness, pain and Depression.
Life is a mix of ups n downs.
Depression is a natural state of DOWN. When we try to resist it and only want good times, it persists.
We want only good. And that is born out of our greed. We must know that good and bad both will be served. No need to pretend or be fake when 'bad' is served. There is no question of karma or 'why me'. Equanimity to both good or bad is the only way to live a peaceful life. Cause when we move ahead in life, we realise that 'bad leads to good' and 'good leads to bad'. So in a way both are one. So why bother about 'what will happen'.
If depression wants us to sleep, sleep.
If depression wants us to destroy, destroy. If depression wants us to cry, cry. If depression wants us to run, run.
Trust me God knows what he is doing. We must not sabotage our own growth by resisting it. There is no birth without death. New is born after old is destroyed.
The more pills we pop to curb depression, worsen it shall get. Once we sit with ourselves and start giving importance to that voice within, and acting on it courageously, depression is answered. Not running to the movie or mall or even drowning oneself in work, when God wants to talk. Anxiety is the call God is making to you. By listening up and doing what is required in FULL FAITH, we tackle that depression.
Depression and anxiety(they are one) is an alarm that 'YOU ARE NOT LISTENING'.
Depression can be successfully tackled only and only with authenticity.
With authenticity, we learn to ride the waves of high n low.
[image error]Depression is a friend. was originally published in Deep. Sweet. Valuable. on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
November 5, 2024
HOW WOMEN UNKNOWINGLY KILL ATTRACTION IN THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIP?
Emasculating means depriving the man of his role as a masculine or making him lose his power and identity as a male. Many women do this unknowingly. This is a sure-shot way of killing attraction between you and your partner.
1) Trying to correct or teach your husband in public and in private.
Our husband is an individual with his own life experiences and understanding.
While we women have strong opinions about everything and a strong motherly instinct to teach and protect, we must learn to gracefully allow our husband to have his individual point of view and lessons. We must learn the art of disagreeing and keeping the respect of our partner intact both in public and private. Though they appear tough, the truth is men are sensitive and we must handle them with delicate hands.
2) Being disrespectful or being critical of your husband to others.
If we paint a bad picture of our husband to others, it is a total disrespect. If we are sorry about it later, what’s the point? Once I saw a friend insulting her husband about his beer belly in front of her family, it was so demeaning to watch her put him down. Clearly, the man felt so hurt and his woman thought she had cracked a joke. We don’t understand when we disrespect the other, we also lose respect.
3) Minimize his sacrifices for his family.
Whatever a man does to be successful is all for his family. And if his woman minimizes his efforts, he will feel he is not good enough. He will feel less and lose his confidence. And then stop doing whatever little he was doing.
4) Minimize his intelligence.
Some of the smartest people I know have only high school diplomas but talk more wisely than IITians or Ph.D.s. So we should not judge our partner basis his educational qualifications, his English speaking skills, his salary package, his designation etc. If he has chosen you, he must be wise.
4) Nagging.
God, I hate this about us women. Most women, including me, do this to no end only digging up the wells of hell for their own relationships. It is extremely exhausting for both parties and should be avoided at all costs. Whenever I catch myself doing this, I slap myself awake.
6) Withholding sex and using it to bargain your way around
Highly manipulative women withhold sex to get their way around. But little do we know that rejection in bed doesn’t go down well with a man. He might start believing there is something wrong with him and reciprocate withholding. Something pure should not be used to get your way around.
7) Shaming your man
Masculine energy craves freedom.
When a woman stifles that, it is control and criticism, and he shuts down. Showing him that he is incapable, not doing well enough for the family and character shaming him, will only shut him down.
When a woman criticizes a man excessively, it communicates:
“I don’t trust you.”
“I don’t respect your decisions.”
“I don’t believe you are capable”
8) Being over-controlling or bossy
If a woman speaks for her man, doesn’t let him take calls independently, or attempts to control or change him — she robs him of his autonomy and identity. When she micromanages him, in the name of being a partner, she is just controlling the situation for her personal advantage.
9) Mothering
Doing everything for him, giving him too much advice and throwing your own opinion on him is all mothering. He already doesn’t appreciate his mother when she does that. So when you do that, you just kill the attraction. You are basically saying you’re more capable than him, you know more than him. Please don’t try to protect him, it is his job.
10) Complain about his job or salary
Constantly telling him that he is not earning well and how he could do better is extremely hurting to the man’s identity. He has been conditioned to be a provider and our criticism doesn’t allow him to get that respect in his own eyes.
11) Ask him for help, then tell him he’s doing it wrong.
This is another common mistake we make. We first ask him for help and then nag him into doing it our way. We are too closed to try his way of doing things. We slap our techniques on him softly. The cunningness of a woman is often draped in a soft smile.
12) Treat him like he’s a robot with no feelings.
Just because he doesn’t communicate doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bad.
When we don’t take accountability for our actions that might hurt him. We should express our gratitude from time to time and not take all that he does for us for granted.
13) Keep repeating how childish he is.
I repeat masculine energy is freedom-loving. They like to be spontaneous like a child. That is why we fell for them in the first place. If we don’t let them be childlike- playful, carefree, stress-free- it will definitely kill the attraction.
14) Criticising him in bed
Making fun of his family jewels or his unique ways to lure you into bed is a sure way to blow his ego. By comparing his physical attributes to others, we not only are killing his spirit, we are killing his attraction towards us too.
When I first got to know about emasculation, I was shocked. I understood how I was self-sabotaging my own relationships unknowingly. If only I had been taught all this before, so much hurt could have been saved. But then, we get there when we get there. [image error]HOW WOMEN UNKNOWINGLY KILL ATTRACTION IN THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIP? was originally published in Twin Flame on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
September 19, 2024
WAITING ROOM- RECIEVING TIME
WAITING ROOM- RECIEVING TIME
Nippy mornings with lots of sun.
Pink roses.
A small garden, white-yellow-black butterflies.
A lil step by my door to park myself.
Sunny side up on my white plate.
Some Avacado on the side.
Lots of books and time to read.
Reflect. Write.
Aimless strolls.
Home made Mulled wine. Extra Cinnamon.
Berries-Dates-TuttiFruitties. Nepali Khukhri. Dark nights. Darkest Rum cakes.
Bike taxis and winter sun on my face.
Khichree, the comfort food.
Evenings with bonfires.
Sisterhood, old hindi songs and antakshree.
Cycling to work. Cycling into the hills.
Alone. With the girls.
Uninterrupted conversations with God. Two way.
Farmers' market Saturdays.
Fresh Organic Celery. Sourdough. Feta cheese.
Himalayan Java Coffee. And my notepad.
Chinese love songs. Vedas & Puranas.
Film Festivals. Masterclasses.
Wai wais. With onion, tomato and a dash of lemon.
Like minded -Like hearted mates.
Germany.Gaya.Canada. Venezuela. Middle East. And Nepal. My bitches from all over. Crossing paths. Shared passion.
Red rice and Red Saag. Jhol Momos.
Walks to my dance class. Music I love.
Quater turns. Half turns. Full turns. Dips and slips.
Oscar.
Twirling in leather skirts...chiffon for summers.
High heels. Lavender on my skin.
Meditation Camps. Silence.
Woodfire pizzas. One meal a day.
Missing Heart beats.
Honest confessions.
Tiktok.
The rhythm of Yoga.
Hotels at the end of the universe. Long naps. Friendships.
Half moons. Full moons. No moons. Peace.
Besties Wedding. Champagne.
Treks. Hikes. Base Camps.
Blisters.
No microwave-no mixie-no tv-no car life.
A lifetime where I was wafer thin.
A slice of life. Or a full circle.
May be the best thing I have done is wait for you.
What a poem I lived!
Grateful
#love #nepal🇳🇵
[image error]August 14, 2024
Do you feel like a ‘beggar’ in love?Expectations from the other makes you a pauper.
Begging for love, care, attention, ring or respect?
What I know of love is, that in ‘love’, everything is given away freely. It is not something we have to ask or beg for.
But sadly, we take the power from us and give it to the other when we seek love from the other. And in this process, we keep diminishing our self-respect, our value, our self-worth. We constantly ask the other to give us what we should be giving ourselves.
Once we start our inner work, we would understand these precious words of Rumi. “The wonders we seek outside, we carry within.” — Rumi
Let’s talk about the lists which we carry in our heads, things we seek in our partner.
“I want someone who will be the most amazing person who will change my life.”
“I want someone who will be my best friend for life.”
“I want someone who is always be my well-wisher and cheerleader.”
“I want someone to protect me from the evils of the world.”
“I want someone who will accept me the way I am.”
“I want someone who will make me a better person each passing day.”
“I want someone who will loving towards me, my family and my mother.”
“I want someone who will lighten me after I return home from a mad day at work.”
“I want someone who will understand me.”
“I want someone who will support me through thick and thin.”
“I want someone who will appreciate my beauty and my talents.”
“I want someone who will appreciate my presence.”
“I want someone who will give me love, care and attention.”
“I want someone who will make me feel secure.”
“I want someone who will give me financial and emotional security.”
“I want someone who will make feel peaceful and free me of my anxiety.”
“I want someone who will fill this vacuum in my life, this loneliness.”
“I want someone who will make me laugh and dry my tears.”
“I want someone I can travel the world with.”
“I want someone who will turn my boring life into something interesting.”
What’s your list like?
God made us unique and wonderful, and here we are hunting for someone unique and wonderful to come in our life.
We are busy hunting outside, what we should be hunting within. So, what we actually do is, take the power given to us by creator and give it to another. We go against His will. We go on a prowl for the perfect man or woman rather than focussing on being the perfect man or woman.
All the things we are seeking outside(the list mentioned above and the list you have), have we ever thought of giving that to us ourselves?
Let’s try shifting the responsibility from our list mentioned above from the other to our own self.
“I am the most amazing person and I can change my life.”
“I accept me the way I am.”
“I am a better person with each passing day.”
“I am so loving to me, loving to my family, loving to my mother.”
“I lighten me after I return home from a mad day at work.”
“I understand me.”
“I am supporting me through thick and thin.”
“I am appreciative of my beauty and my talents.”
“I am appreciative of my presence.”
“I am giving me love, care and attention.”
“I give me financial and emotional security.”
“I am peaceful and free me of my anxiety.”
“I am filling this vacuum in my life, turning this loneliness into a blessing.”
“I am someone who makes me laugh and dries my tears.”
The reason for love or marriage cannot be to fulfil any list. If there are conditions, it is not love, it is a business deal.
Any planning leads us to hell. Love is a natural. It happens from a state of ‘no mind.’ When we are in a state of self-love(not egoic love).
Where no pros and cons exist. Where we don’t judge the plusses and minuses of having that person in our life. Where we just surrender in complete devotion. Where we are already one at some plane. Where his benefit is your benefit too.
If you don’t feel like that for the one you are getting married to, please don’t marry yet.
I’m just here to trigger you into that marriage within. To have a connection with you first. That union within. That completeness within. That union of inner masculine and feminine within. So that you manifest your true love effortlessly. Without begging or forcing a relationship.
[image error]August 5, 2024
BEING A SHARK IN CONFERENCE ROOMS IS FINE. BUT PLEASE DON’T BRING HER HOME.
Working in Corporates have made us true sharks. Crafty, rapacious, ready to eat up all the innocence within and outside for an agenda that might not even satiate us.https://medium.com/media/c5ac97631dfb1b878ae73cd426ab5bb3/href
We as women have become loud and proud in order to fit into the Man’s world. Which is totally opposite of being feminine.
From a distance, it feels women have become confident but in reality it’s just a fake confidence. Because that’s what we learnt to do when fighting an argument in a room full of men. We ape them to establish equality.
How I had my realisation?
I was itching. Itching to know why I wasn’t satisfied despite working with the top notch corporates, handling high profile clients.
After deep reflection, I realised I was missing myself. My ‘self’ that existed before I gave in to the Corporate Slavery. Where did I lose ‘Myself’ in all these years? In building other peoples’ brands, where did I lose ‘BRAND ME’?
After spending a lot of time in solitude, dimming the noise of the surroundings, I had some amazing realisations.
I realised that to have a point of view is good but it’s not important to louden your voice to be heard.It is good to give your best at work, but not important to get competitive about it.I realised, it is good to make leaps but not at the cost of your freedom.I realised it is good to jump organisations to make great career moves as an individual but not at the cost of breaking ‘path-breaking teams and partnerships’.I realised that we as women are still hungry for validation which we are seeking in the man’s world by sacrificing our own strengths to fit in.I realised by becoming sharks in our offices, we are bringing same aggression and shrewdness to our relationships and homes.I had many realisations.
By unconsciously picking up toxic masculine traits like abusing, being loud, argumentativeness, competitiveness, having one-up-manship, we are adopting all toxicity under the garb of confidence.
It is a put-on ‘confidence’ which is not real.
It actually is a defence mechanism which we adopted to validate our equality.
Honestly, this fake confidence is eating up our personal lives as well.
Leading us into unsatisfied selves, ignoring our real feminine urges and eventually ending us up in a confused state in our lives.
The penny dropped for me when I saw myself abusing like a man and not being able to let go of that habit from my system.
Definitely the need of the hour is to display courage when required, but could we do that by staying in our own feminine energy without borrowing the traits, tones, the work-styles, the competitive spirit, the shrewdness of our toxic male counterparts. If at all we have to imbibe qualities of the masculine, those should not be the toxic traits but the divine qualities of the healed masculine.
Masculine who chooses to be ‘assertive’ than ‘aggressive’, who is a great leader and goes first in case of problems, who is a giver, who plans for a higher objective than self-agenda, who respects his counterpart and treats her with the sensitivity she deserves as a woman.
Trying to fit in the man’s world like a toxic man is not really helping us. We are bringing the same loud, competitive self to our homes, forgetting to draw a boundary with our own selves.
Homes which require our soft feminine self. Instead of being ‘calm’, ‘intuitive’, ‘nurturing’, ‘creative’, ‘sensual’, ‘compassionate’, ‘collaborative’, ‘vulnerability’, we are bringing toxic masculinity to our families.
Yes, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but unknowingly we all bring home a toxic man married to another man.
https://medium.com/media/2923f7ea1c581865b225bb8227994264/hrefNo, I am not against women and their dreams but I experienced how this toxicity blocks our flow. I thought its urgent to bring it to light. May me there are many like me, standing where I was once — ‘confused’.
I have a lot of empathy for the gender I was born in. Where we stand, it really is not our fault too. We are being raised as sons.
Parents proudly project,“We have raised our daughters as our sons!” showing that they are fair and treat both genders equally.
But at the cost of being hated I just want to ask, are we really equal as genders.
Yes, we do talk about equal rights but no way are we equal.
Different? Yes.
I wish we were just affirmed this, that we are different with unique qualities and deserving of equal opportunities.
Of course, our parents were doing best for us basis their understanding.
But I wish they also knew the importance of knowing the feminine and masculine within. I wish we were taught about our divine feminine and masculine traits in school. I wish we were taught that we carry the both polarities within. To help us balance, to use our knowledge creatively like an alchemist to master our lives. ( We did have symbolisms pointing out to the masculine-feminine balance through the Shiva-Shakti symbolism but we still failed to decipher what the masters were indicating.)
To know about the positive and masculine polarities, read here…
The institution of Marriage will shut by the next decade.
It is great we are Sharks in our offices but it is time we learn to transition into cute little Penguins at home. We need to know our SELF better. We need to learn to integrate our masculine and feminine self so that we master our lives.
We need to stand in our power as the feminine energy. We need to know that divine feminine traits are beautiful and will help us even in achieving our career dreams.
Else we will end up emasculating our men, and defeminising our own selves and still get nowhere(Emasculation is robbing a man of his spirit, defeminization is depriving a woman of her femininity). All leading to man-woman hatred and competitiveness. All leading to more and more disharmony in and outside of offices and marriages.
(*Penguins — I used this metaphor as I spent many hours in Edinberg Zoo observing their awesome attributes. I found them very feminine in nature. First of all you feel safe around them, they carry adorable charm, they are nurturing and can move in huge circles. And of course, we all know they are known for their loyalty as well.)
[image error]BEING A SHARK IN CONFERENCE ROOMS IS FINE. BUT PLEASE DON’T BRING HER HOME. was originally published in Twin Flame on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
BEING A SHARK IN CONFERENCE ROOMS IS FINE. BUT PLEASE DON’T BRING HER HOME?
Working in Corporates have made us true sharks. Crafty, rapacious, ready to eat up all the innocence within and outside for an agenda that might not even satiate us.https://medium.com/media/c5ac97631dfb1b878ae73cd426ab5bb3/href
We as women have become loud and proud in order to fit into the Man’s world. Which is totally opposite of being feminine.
From a distance, it feels women have become confident but in reality it’s just a fake confidence. Because that’s what we learnt to do when fighting an argument in a room full of men. We ape them to establish equality.
How I had my realisation?
I was itching. Itching to know why I wasn’t satisfied despite working with the top notch corporates, handling high profile clients.
After deep reflection, I realised I was missing myself. My ‘self’ that existed before I gave in to the Corporate Slavery. Where did I lose ‘Myself’ in all these years? In building other peoples’ brands, where did I lose ‘BRAND ME’?
After spending a lot of time in solitude, dimming the noise of the surroundings, I had some amazing realisations.
I realised that to have a point of view is good but it’s not important to louden your voice to be heard.It is good to give your best at work, but not important to get competitive about it.I realised, it is good to make leaps but not at the cost of your freedom.I realised it is good to jump organisations to make great career moves as an individual but not at the cost of breaking ‘path-breaking teams and partnerships’.I realised that we as women are still hungry for validation which we are seeking in the man’s world by sacrificing our own strengths to fit in.I realised by becoming sharks in our offices, we are bringing same aggression and shrewdness to our relationships and homes.I had many realisations.
By unconsciously picking up toxic masculine traits like abusing, being loud, argumentativeness, competitiveness, having one-up-manship, we are adopting all toxicity under the garb of confidence.
It is a put-on ‘confidence’ which is not real.
It actually is a defence mechanism which we adopted to validate our equality.
Honestly, this fake confidence is eating up our personal lives as well.
Leading us into unsatisfied selves, ignoring our real feminine urges and eventually ending us up in a confused state in our lives.
The penny dropped for me when I saw myself abusing like a man and not being able to let go of that habit from my system.
Definitely the need of the hour is to display courage when required, but could we do that by staying in our own feminine energy without borrowing the traits, tones, the work-styles, the competitive spirit, the shrewdness of our toxic male counterparts. If at all we have to imbibe qualities of the masculine, those should not be the toxic traits but the divine qualities of the healed masculine.
Masculine who chooses to be ‘assertive’ than ‘aggressive’, who is a great leader and goes first in case of problems, who is a giver, who plans for a higher objective than self-agenda, who respects his counterpart and treats her with the sensitivity she deserves as a woman.
Trying to fit in the man’s world like a toxic man is not really helping us. We are bringing the same loud, competitive self to our homes, forgetting to draw a boundary with our own selves.
Homes which require our soft feminine self. Instead of being ‘calm’, ‘intuitive’, ‘nurturing’, ‘creative’, ‘sensual’, ‘compassionate’, ‘collaborative’, ‘vulnerability’, we are bringing toxic masculinity to our families.
Yes, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but unknowingly we all bring home a toxic man married to another man.
https://medium.com/media/2923f7ea1c581865b225bb8227994264/hrefNo, I am not against women and their dreams but I experienced how this toxicity blocks our flow. I thought its urgent to bring it to light. May me there are many like me, standing where I was once — ‘confused’.
I have a lot of empathy for the gender I was born in. Where we stand, it really is not our fault too. We are being raised as sons.
Parents proudly project,“We have raised our daughters as our sons!” showing that they are fair and treat both genders equally.
But at the cost of being hated I just want to ask, are we really equal as genders.
Yes, we do talk about equal rights but no way are we equal.
Different? Yes.
I wish we were just affirmed this, that we are different with unique qualities and deserving of equal opportunities.
Of course, our parents were doing best for us basis their understanding.
But I wish they also knew the importance of knowing the feminine and masculine within. I wish we were taught about our feminine and masculine traits in school. I wish we were taught that we carry the both polarities within. To help us balance, to use our knowledge creatively like an alchemist to master our lives. (Born a Hindu, we did have our religion pointing out to the masculine-feminine balance through the Shiva-Shakti symbolism but we still failed to decipher what the masters were indicating.)
To know about the positive and masculine polarities, read here…
The institution of Marriage will shut by the next decade.
It is great we are Sharks in our offices but it is time we learn to transition into cute little Penguins at home. We need to know our SELF better. We need to learn to integrate our masculine and feminine self so that we master our lives.
We need to stand in our power as the feminine energy. We need to know that divine feminine traits are beautiful and will help us even in achieving our career dreams.
Else we will end up emasculating our men, and defeminising our own selves and still get nowhere(Emasculation is robbing a man of his spirit, defeminization is depriving a woman of her femininity). All leading to man-woman hatred and competitiveness. All leading to more and more disharmony in and outside of offices and marriages.
(*Penguins — I used this metaphor as I spent many hours in Edinberg Zoo observing their awesome attributes. I found them very feminine in nature. First of all you feel safe around them, they carry adorable charm, they are nurturing and can move in huge circles. And of course, we all know they are known for their loyalty as well.)
[image error]BEING A SHARK IN CONFERENCE ROOMS IS FINE. BUT PLEASE DON’T BRING HER HOME? was originally published in Twin Flame on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
July 29, 2024
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. BUT CONSCIOUSNESS IS DEEPER THAN BLOOD.
An excerpt on Ancestral Healing, a must for Twin Flame balance- by Shoneeka
We come from many yesterdays.Pain travels through family lines until someone is ready to heal it in themselves. By going through the agony of healing, you no longer pass the poison chalice onto the generations that follow. It is incredibly important & sacred work. — Anonymous
It is true, one conscious person can affect the whole collective. And if we have taken the responsibility of healing our twin energies of masculine and feminine selves, we have to heal our bloodline as well.Yes, we gotta a lot of work to do. But in my healing journey I realised there is nothing more rewarding than that?! You can take my word on that.
We have the power to free ourselves and our future generations from ancestral patterns by observing these patterns with non-judgement. When we do not tag them as good and bad but we just observe them, we allow them to pass. But when we get attached to them or resist them, that’s when they persist.
When we start observing the history of our ancestors, we’ll come across many family patterns- patterns of diseases, patterns of failures, patterns of limited beliefs, traumas, addictions, conflicts, violence, love stories etc. This knowingness takes us further in our healing journey. We can choose to visit them with detached observation and close the cycles of pain which have been carried forward for ages. This is Ancestral healing or Generational healing.
“If we’re healing and transforming the wounds we carry from those who came before, we’re also changing the trajectory of those who come after.” Dr. Judith Rich
Dr. Judith Rich also said, “It takes courage to do the work of healing. It’s not comfortable, convenient or easy. It means the end of denial, pretending and avoiding. It means being radically honest with yourself and those around you. This kind of honesty won’t necessarily win popularity contests, but it will recalibrate your DNA.”
I realised the more we get aware of our patterns from the yesteryears, the more we are able to catch them in our now. The more we notice the matrix, the more we free us and our generations to follow of it. More free we become free of these patterns and cycles, more we can access our authentic self or our essence. Through ancestral healing, we first realise what’s repetitive and moving in a loop over generations, and then release these inherited wounds and traumas that have been passed down over generations.
Here are some affirmations that I put down for me to help me release patterns from my past timelines to heal my present and future timelines. Sharing this with those like me who have taken the responsibility of knowing themselves deeply.
1) I am healing and releasing ‘name of disease’ (for example anxiety/asthma etc) from my bloodline. I am physically, emotionally, mentally and financially healthy.
2) I am healing patterns of ‘failure in love’ from my bloodline. I have a successful relationship with my spouse and happy and satisfied love life.
3) I am healing patterns of ‘betrayal in business’ from my bloodline. I have awesome people who help me grow my business and we all grow together into successful people.
4) I am healing patterns of unhealthy relationship with parents and siblings from my bloodline. I am releasing all grudges children have from parents and all grudges which parents have from children from past, present and future timeline.
5) I am releasing all sibling rivalry and competitiveness from my family timeline. We are a happy family and love and express our love to each other. We happily allow the other to be and accept them unconditionally. We spend quality time together and have a great communication in our relationships. We are secure in our relationships. We allow each other to be in power. There’s mutual respect, space and love between parents and children.
6) I am healing patterns of unhealthy relationship with spouse from my bloodline. I am healing all grudges from partners and all competitiveness and control mechanisms between partners from bloodline. We understand and love each other unconditionally in our marriage. Our love life is a success. We allow each other to be in power. We are secure in our love. We trust each other and allow space for other to grow.
7) I am healing all unhealthy relationships, grudges & curses with in-laws from family timeline. I allow happy and smooth relationship with in-laws with mutual trust and respect and lots of space.
8) I am healing patterns of ‘obstacles in becoming a successful businessman, successful parent & successful child or achieving success at all levels’ from my bloodline. I am successful at all levels.
9) I am releasing patterns of being tied in a service or job and serving others and I allow myself to be the first billionaire in my family.
10) I am releasing all the greed and selfishness that I carry within from my bloodline. I allow myself to be in an abundance mindset.
11) I am releasing all the inferiority complexes and superiority complexes and patterns of jealousy that I carry in me and that doesn’t let me grow from my timeline. I am humble and abundant. And I work for my abundant successful life.
12) I am releasing all people pleasing to be successful in my career from my bloodline. I allow my excellence in my work to speak for itself and give me my abundance.
13) I am releasing all patterns of debt from my bloodline. I allow me to be my family’s first billionaire.
14) I am releasing the pattern of being dependent on men for my own abundance. I am releasing generational pattern of getting married for security, safety and abundance. I am my own abundance. And enjoy abundance in my timeline, past, present & future. There’s always more than I can spend for me. I am getting married only for ‘love’.
15) I am releasing fear of God and limited beliefs around Karma and fear of karma which doesn’t let me be. I release it from past, present and future timeline. It is safe for me to shine and stand in my power. I love God and God loves me the way I am. I release all self-judgement and self-sabotage from my timeline.
16) I am releasing the belief that job is a must for success from my family timelines. I allow myself and my family’s present n future generations to make my billions in their own calling. I allow my abundance to come through… (You can add your list here)
17) I release the slavery or ‘slog it out’ attitude from my family lineage. I allow myself and my family’s present n future generations to be financially a roaring success, easily.
18) I release all patterns of betrayal, sabotage from colleagues, co-workers and bosses and exploitation from my bloodline. I am honest in all of my interactions. I am a man/woman of my word. I am surrounded by others who mirror my authenticity and integrity. I have an abundant army that is making my dreams come true. This force around me is magical.
19) I release all patterns of getting out of shape/getting fat and catching diseases from my family timeline. I allow me and my present and future generations to be fit and healthy and sexy in all ages.
20) I am releasing self-doubt from my timeline. I increase faith in me and my upcoming generations with the outstanding work I do and the person I become. My light shines everywhere.
21) I am healing all hormonal imbalances and karma of surgeries from my timeline. I live a healthy life to the end.
A daily dose of these affirmations will surely make an inner and outward shift. Infact, don’t you feel abundant already? It took me many years to get to this list.
If you want more healing, log into www.lovevipassana.com and make a swift landing on my blog. Or follow me here itself.
And as George Bernard Shaw puts it: “Life is no ‘brief candle’ for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
If you feel, you were born in a toxic family, make it your responsibility to break this legacy. Your only goal should be ‘the pain stops here’. Give your future generations a legacy of freedom.
[image error]July 22, 2024
Love Vipassana - Balancing my Twin Flame Energies
When Divine Masculine energies are in union with Divine Feminine energies within us, we call it Divine uinion or the state of Love Vipassana.
My journey to Love Vipassana.
Last decade was tough. And the decade before that was even tougher. It wasn’t just one tragedy. It was a series of misfortunes. A cobWeb series.
I questioned God. Blamed him. Hated Him. But today I understand the conspiracy of the universe. I realise how deeply God loves me.
All that happened was to make me tough. It was His one attempt after other so that I catch the bait and realise both the divine and the distortion within. And to integrate the inner masculine and feminine.
But I failed to go within, despite the triggers. I was lazy. I was comfortable in my beliefs. I was complacent. I was emotional. I was a typical girl, putting the needs of others before me.
I was a people pleaser and I was a cribber like an average woman. I was feminine in all forms. And then the last decade my life situations got crazier. The tests that were thrown towards me were begging me to be a different me.
It is at this time I emptied myself of all that was depleting me. This letting go of all that was toxic created a void. I let go of toxic work environments, toxic relatives, toxic bosses, toxic friends and everything that was denying me of inner peace.
Ofcourse that left a huge void.
And I filled that void with art, craft, dance, travel & silence. I cooked and I created Zikr(my production house).
I trained like a man and climbed the Everest Base Camp and The Annapurna Base Camp. I grooved nonstop to various dance forms(Salsa, Bachata, Jazz) and served at Vipassana camps. I started enjoying both masculine and feminine sides of me.
I started being more aware of the dichotomy inside me. I explored the unexplored zones of my being. I practiced Vipassana devotedly. And even stole food at Vipassana guilt-free. I owned both my being and the humanness in me. I kissed my flaws and my wounds.
Observing them more and embracing them more. I took the power and dependency from the external and gave it to my inner being.
Love Vipassana is born out of this intense love of mine for myself. It is my route map that helped me integrate the oneness within. I don’t feel alone now. I feel complete. I have finally found me. My true love. Which will be forever. Till death and after death too.
And I am sharing this journey of integration or union of feminine and masculine within with those on the path like me. I see men and women struggling around and living with a war within. Love Vipassana will end this war. It ended the war for me, and I’m sure it will work for one and all.
I am not the first person talking about it. Many lightworkers, yogis, holy masters and philosophers have spoken about it in different ways. Because paths are many, but the truth is one. I have just simplified it from my point of view for people like me to experience it.
Love Vipassana is for everyone who is seeking true love.
Originally published at https://www.lovevipassana.com .
[image error]LOVE VIPASSANA: THE UNION WITHIN - OUT NOW ON AMAZON
https://mybook.to/vipassanaBalance the twin flame energies within to manifest true love.
Let’s end the gender war.
https://mybook.to/vipassana order here
Why are men and women competing with each other? Why are we choosing life partners basis an agenda? Why are we witnessing increased misogyny and feminism in and outside courtrooms? Why in a country like ours, where we have grown up worshipping SHIVA and SHAKTI(the two cosmic energies of masculine and feminine), we are still fighting gender wars? Why we are not realising the power each gender carries? Why have we lost the faith in the power each gender carries? When did we forget ‘WE ARE ONE’?
To understand our oneness, we have to first understand our separateness.
We have to go back to basics of understanding who we really are.
Let me start by dropping a truth bomb here, after much self-reflection, visiting my own duality and an intense research, I have come to the conclusion that both men and women have both masculine and feminine energies in them.
When both these energies are in balance within us, we achieve a union within, which is divine in nature. We call it divine union or Love Vipassana. And when we are in imbalance within, we attract Hell. Because today we are getting more and more imbalanced as human beings, we are manifesting this battle of genders, failed marriages, hatred, competition in our work environment and in short a corrupted world.
In fact in context of marriage, if we observe we are slowly moving from failed marriages to late marriages to no-marriages because we have totally lost the faith in the other.
And this, really is very sad. If this continues, the institution of marriage will shut down soon.
Let me explain this imbalance a little more in detail.
We as humans, carry both aspects of masculine and feminine energies in us. Yogis call it Ida Pingla, Chinese Philosophers call them Yin and yang, Scientists call them Right brain and Left Brain. And when we evoke both energies in us, we become a complete human being.
We achieve a state of Love Vipassana. A state that beyond gender tags. It is the state of complete union within. No separation at all.
How do we get there? It might sound complicated yet it is very simple.
Let’s understand the two energies(Masculine & Feminine) in their totality first. Both carry positive and negative aspects.
1)Positive masculine and distorted masculine.
2)Positive feminine and distorted feminine
For a complete union, we have to understand the qualities and vices of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine Polarities. Knowing them is our first step on the path. Almost all masters say, ‘Know thyself’, because once we know us, we would know everyone.
The man will know the woman and the woman will know the man and peace shall prevail. Because when we know that, what we carry within is what the other also carries, it would be easy to accept the other with more love and acceptance.
Ladies first, so let me first talk about how to evoke Divine Feminine energies in us.
Resting- When we pause, we allow divine feminine grace to flow through us. Just being in the moment, no music, no tv, no books, just being in your breath and body. In this void, we connect to our higher self or intuition and download lifechanging ideas. Stop here, take a deep breath and release it, this peace which you just felt is this energy.https://medium.com/media/98b107fdd6e73d7182e869220382a08d/href2) Intuitive — When we are in peace within us, without any ripples or anxiety, when there is no restlessness, we receive the gift of ‘intuition’. It is our inner voice guiding us to what’s best for us. It is a divine blessing we receive when we surrender to the divine. Intuition happens when we disconnect from all sources of information externally and go within. Intuition is a super power(which knows everything) and the more we listen to our intuition, the more we increase this power in us. This is pure divine feminine energy in us.
3) Heart-centered — Being focused on qualities of heart like- love, care, generosity, patience, gratitude, loving kindness, forgiveness, connection etc. When we practice these qualities of our heart, we open our heart and we give power to this divine feminine quality in us.
4) Wise — When we are connected to our heart and listen to our intuition, by default we take wise decisions. Wisdom flows through us in our being. Wisdom takes care of everything.
5) Nurturing — When we nurture ourselves, our ideas and our loved ones, we get in touch with our inner feminine. It is usually agenda less. It gives that nurturing for the sake of giving only. It is pure energy.
6) Allowing/Receiving — When we allow us to be open to receive new ideas, ways or solutions, or even our relationships without any resistance, we are in the most fluid feminine energy. This non-resistant nature in all situations makes us divine.
7) Creative — When we create anything, be it a song, movie, a dish, a piece of art or even a solution for a problem, we evoke our creative energies or our divine feminine self.
https://medium.com/media/274c0e937dc96bef0d53eeeacffda976/href8) Sensual — It is time to claim the beautiful quality of the divine feminine — sensuality. She is the life force of all creation and that fire within has to be owned and not denied as something dirty. When we sensually awaken ourselves, desire our own self, hold ourselves beautiful in our own eyes, find beauty in our own grace, magnetism and accept even our imperfect self perfectly, we own our worth as a woman. The passion of a sensually awakened woman infuses her whole life. She dances through beauty of life. We can evoke our sensuality by indulging in sensual body moves, feeding us food that satiates us, indulging in fragrances we like, taking care of our inner beauty and external appearance, by listening to music or sounds we love. In other words, we can connect to our divine feminine by indulging all our senses — touch, smell, look, sound, taste to please our inner feminine.
https://medium.com/media/fd1343b1153f4685294afab7169194d5/href9) Compassionate — When our divine feminine energy awakens, we become most selfless and compassionate beings. When we give just from the sheer joy of giving. There’s no agenda, there’s no hidden desire to receive that back. It is pure unconditional giving.
10) Collaborative — When we understand that nothing operates as a single unit, when we recognize the importance of each person’s existence and that how together by supporting each other we can work effectively towards achieving common higher goals.
For more order my book https://mybook.to/vipassana
Now that we know the divine aspects feminine polarity in us, let’s understand the negative aspects of it.
Let’s see how distorted feminine energy plays within us. Remember this caters to both men and women. We both carry both in us.
1) Inner emptiness — We feel something is missing and we constantly try to fill that void with something external. For example, indulging in gossiping, shopping, drinking, browsing on phone, watch too much tv, seeking romantic partner, seeking appreciation, looking for external pleasure. Basically, we feel empty within and feel anxious the moment there’s free space and we run to our popular addictions not knowing what to do and falling more and more.
2) Superficial beauty — Spending all energy in trying to fix our looks or external beauty. Spending all energy in parlors, or online buying beauty products or giving all importance to external appearance. We are totally distorted if we measure our value through our outward appearance.
3) Drama — ‘When we don’t allow the present moment to be, we create drama.’ — Eckhart Tolle. We often resist situations and life problems by trying to stay busy. We feel by engaging in things that divert us from being in present moment, we can be relieved of them. Well suppressing something only makes it worse. We create Family drama, love drama, office drama, disease drama, tragedy drama- all just to keep us busy through the day. We crib, complain and spend our day revisiting this drama, day in and day out. We rather create drama than face what’s actually that we are trying to escape? We are big drama queens. We not only do drama, we also feed on other people’s drama by staying in toxic situations. And this applies even to men with dominating feminine in them. Don’t you know men who are big drama queens?
https://medium.com/media/bd6580a9b153cca2f92ae109a4981585/href4) Victimhood — Blaming others for whatever we go through is victimhood. It’s a mentality in which we blame others for our shortcomings and losses. Rather than taking responsibility for our own life, we blame others.
5) Co-dependency — Depending on the other for our basic needs mentally, physically, emotionally and financially is Co-dependency. It is very toxic because in this we give our power and responsibility to someone else. This makes us dependent on the other and that leads to a lot of negativity in us, making us possessive, insecure, jealous, lacking self-worth and self-respect. In codependent relationships, we give all energy to other, so that he or she can fulfil our needs and when that doesn’t happen, we resent them. Co-dependency says ‘you complete me’. All the toxic romanticism gave birth to this behavioral issue. It is a deep subject and I’ll talk at length about it in my upcoming articles.
6) Attention stealing — By always putting your own needs over the other, by always wanting the other to cling to you, by creating drama and situations directly or indirectly to get his all attention is stealing attention. For example, an extreme example of someone seeking attention would be someone creating a disease just to get love, care and attention of loved ones. If we knew, how deep our desires go, we would work more aggressively to look within.
7) Planning for own selfish motives — This is a very common trait of woman or man with distorted feminine energy for own gain. They scheme maliciously to consciously hurt the other and get some advantage out of the situation. These days a lot of time is spent to choose a life partner basis a list of wants and desires.
Women lure a rich man looking for her future security. Man woos a woman who seems docile so that she can adjust with his parents. Both never get what they want because when we scheme against someone (especially in the name of love), divine justice punches us on our face.
8) Lack mentality — We carry a mentality which is narrow. If others get something, we start comparing. We forget all the good that God has given us but we compare in that one thing which we lack. We make our universe small and limited by hosting such regressive thoughts. This lack mentality is also the root cause of jealousy. And this doesn’t let us be in peace. Even the fear of missing out stems out of Lack Mentality. The truth is universe is abundant and has enough for all. With faith and by imbibing divine masculine and feminine qualities, we can heal this toxicity in us and manifest all that our heart desires.
9) Emotional Blackmailing- Playing with other’s emotion to get your way around is one of the favourite manipulations of the feminine. She will blackmail with her tears, with her victimhood, with her being the weaker sex, putting the other in guilt, not even knowing how ingrained this habit is in her. She will deny that it’s an act, but it is totally agenda driven. Withholding emotions or being extremely emotional is another form of emotional blackmailing. Heard of crocodile tears?
https://medium.com/media/7e97f83e4b35b98781ab2b2613eaea29/hrefNow that we know the divine feminine and distorted feminine in us, lets understand the divine masculine polarity in us. Let’s look at what qualities we can embody to awaken our Divine Masculine Self.
Risk taking — The divine masculine embodies inner strength and courage not just in physical sense but also emotionally and spiritually. It is these qualities that help him take risks, face challenges with resilience and perseverance. He is willing to take risk yet remains unattached to the outcome and this detachment is divine energy.https://medium.com/media/20978b42c6fb7aae14225fd0f1c657af/href2) Assertive instead of aggressive — Instead of using our physical strength, demeanor or voice, when we put our point across assertively without an iota of anger or force in it, we are in our divine masculine energy. Aggression comes from anger and the need to be right and heard, assertiveness comes from the purity of doing things the right way. Understand the difference.
3) Leadership — This energy evokes the power of third eye in you. Being the masculine energy(Shiva), it helps us see far hence giving us a vision, that not only motivates us but also helps us inspire our teams to pursue their higher potential and purpose.
https://medium.com/media/cf791df5a1640aac4481489aa1600228/href4) Logic — This energic uses rational thinking and logical analysis to make decisions. It works to balance emotions with logic.
5) Action-oriented — Sometimes out of distorted masculine energy of perfection we internalize the idea too much. We keep holding onto it, trying to make it perfect. In our divine masculine energy, we lean on our intuition to know the right time to take action. We take actions that are driven by intuition not habit.
6) Integrity — Being honest to ourself, speaking our truth, honoring our truth and standing up for our truth are all aspects of integrity.
7) Objective — Having a purpose behind the action. Not just living and acting out of egos just randomly but out of purpose for a cause. It often maintain an obejective and detached perspective, enabling clear understanding not driven out of emotions. This ability to remain objective allows in unbiased assessments and problem solving.
8) Strategic — The ability to see both pros and cons, to see long-term potentials helps us plan well. The divine masculine energy makes us though through, adept at strategic thinking and taking right decisions.
9) Emotionally Intelligent — This involves being in touch with our emotions, expressing them authentically and holding space for others to express theirs’s.
10) Protective — The divine masculine energy protects self needs without asserting power on others. This energy is caring and nurturing that promotes growth and well-being of self and loved ones.
Those were the divine qualities that exist in us but we also have distorted masculine energy within us. We must make efforts to know them deeply.
1) Lust — We operate with lust if we judge us and people with just physical appearance. This is very subtle and often manifests as ‘excessive touching’, ‘uncontrollable looking’, ‘looking for external appreciation’ etc. When we just operate out of our sexual desires and our life revolves around seeking pleasure all the time, we must know we are in total grasp of our lust and sure to be doomed.
2) Self-obsession & Narcissism — Too much love for own ideas, own thoughts, own existence, so much so that it is doesn’t care if might hurt another is self-obsession. Narcissistic tendencies in our distorted inner masculine make us controlling and manipulative with others for our own advantage. There is a very thin line between self-love and self-obsession and its easy for someone practicing ‘self-love to fall on the other side. That is the most hurtful fall and a warrior on the path should always be vigilant to take note time to time on his pride and sense of entitlement to avoid this kind of fall.
3) Competitive — Competitiveness is what a distorted masculine energy brings to our peace. We are happy in our own world, when suddenly our competitiveness will be triggered in us to see our colleague, neighbor, sibling, friend doing better than us. We are blinded by this false envy which makes us an enemy of our own loved ones. We compare consistently and spend whole life trying to ‘one-up’ the other, rather than doing our own thing. Our existence becomes entangled with proving that we are better than them.
4) Materialism & ambitiousness — When all our existence is invested in possessing physical things and to achieve a certain physical status or certain in life. We as human beings have to find a balance in our physical and spiritual world. Our humanness finds peace in growth in the physical world and our being finds peace in growth in our inner world. Distorted Masculine in us keeps us more focused on the physical plane. But in our Divine Union energies we achieve the balance of Human and the Being within.
5) Inaction — Out of fear of going wrong, we freeze or remain stuck in our situations. We self-sabotage and stay in the state if inaction.
6) Rage & violence — When we use our anger to control the other. Raising voice, using physical power or emotionally abusing are some forms of rage and violence that come from our distorted masculine energies.
https://medium.com/media/be3f6688fec096f58aee1eb5d33d367f/href7) Stuck in winner/loser dynamic — When everything is a battle and personal. When we just want to win in all circumstances.
8) Abuse of power and control — When we strive to get powerful and use that power to control and meet own personal agendas rather than for the benefit of a larger group of people, we are distorted and in a negative life state. We become dominating, controlling and abusive in this state.
9) Rejection of intuition — When we snub our inner voice each time it tries to wake us up. We keep distracting us with addictions, habits and in everyday drama to avoid walking on our intuition.
10) Fear of intimacy — When we feel fear in coming close, opening our heart or becoming vulnerable to our loved one, that means we have distorted masculine in us. True love requires complete surrender and is possible only when we are in divine union inside us.
https://medium.com/media/b68c910c0271c24d2cf864ea351f9be9/hrefWe must know that both masculine and feminine energies are intertwined. One triggers the other. Both have equal and unique powers. Both cannot exist independently. They are interdependent. In divine state, they take us up to ‘moksha’ or to the heaven and in distorted state, they take us down to the hell. We need both inside us and that too in balance. When they are imbalanced, we create suffering for us and our loved ones.
When we observe them with equanimity, knowing that we carry both masculine and feminine within with positives and distortions, we achieve a state of oneness, we convert our suffering into blessing. This state of Divine Union within is what we call Love Vipassana. It is the route map to inner union of masculine and feminine.
Understanding and embracing these energies can manifest our desires and improve our relationships with our loved ones. It will also end the battle of the genders one day. It will bring back the lost respect and love for each other. Marriage won’t have an agenda then. It would be a beautiful dance. It would be born out of pure love.
https://medium.com/media/e2c5c6fd9417916be414b3ea6bc15125/hrefLove and only love is the need of the day. But somebody has to take the responsibility to make a start for that change. Knowing and evoking them is the first step towards the state of Love Vipassana.
If not now, then when? If not you, then who?
[image error]LOVE VIPASSANA: THE UNION WITHIN - OUT NOW ON AMAZON was originally published in Twin Flame on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
LOVE VIPASSANA: THE INNER UNION - OUT NOW ON AMAZON
https://mybook.to/vipassanaBalance the twin flame energies within to manifest true love.
Let’s end the gender war.
https://mybook.to/vipassana order here
Why are men and women competing with each other? Why are we choosing life partners basis an agenda? Why are we witnessing increased misogyny and feminism in and outside courtrooms? Why in a country like ours, where we have grown up worshipping SHIVA and SHAKTI(the two cosmic energies of masculine and feminine), we are still fighting gender wars? Why we are not realising the power each gender carries? Why have we lost the faith in the power each gender carries? When did we forget ‘WE ARE ONE’?
To understand our oneness, we have to first understand our separateness.
We have to go back to basics of understanding who we really are.
Let me start by dropping a truth bomb here, after much self-reflection, visiting my own duality and an intense research, I have come to the conclusion that both men and women have both masculine and feminine energies in them.
When both these energies are in balance within us, we achieve a union within, which is divine in nature. We call it divine union or Love Vipassana. And when we are in imbalance within, we attract Hell. Because today we are getting more and more imbalanced as human beings, we are manifesting this battle of genders, failed marriages, hatred, competition in our work environment and in short a corrupted world.
In fact in context of marriage, if we observe we are slowly moving from failed marriages to late marriages to no-marriages because we have totally lost the faith in the other.
And this, really is very sad. If this continues, the institution of marriage will shut down soon.
Let me explain this imbalance a little more in detail.
We as humans, carry both aspects of masculine and feminine energies in us. Yogis call it Ida Pingla, Chinese Philosophers call them Yin and yang, Scientists call them Right brain and Left Brain. And when we evoke both energies in us, we become a complete human being.
We achieve a state of Love Vipassana. A state that beyond gender tags. It is the state of complete union within. No separation at all.
How do we get there? It might sound complicated yet it is very simple.
Let’s understand the two energies(Masculine & Feminine) in their totality first. Both carry positive and negative aspects.
1)Positive masculine and distorted masculine.
2)Positive feminine and distorted feminine
For a complete union, we have to understand the qualities and vices of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine Polarities. Knowing them is our first step on the path. Almost all masters say, ‘Know thyself’, because once we know us, we would know everyone.
The man will know the woman and the woman will know the man and peace shall prevail. Because when we know that, what we carry within is what the other also carries, it would be easy to accept the other with more love and acceptance.
Ladies first, so let me first talk about how to evoke Divine Feminine energies in us.
Resting- When we pause, we allow divine feminine grace to flow through us. Just being in the moment, no music, no tv, no books, just being in your breath and body. In this void, we connect to our higher self or intuition and download lifechanging ideas. Stop here, take a deep breath and release it, this peace which you just felt is this energy.https://medium.com/media/98b107fdd6e73d7182e869220382a08d/href2) Intuitive — When we are in peace within us, without any ripples or anxiety, when there is no restlessness, we receive the gift of ‘intuition’. It is our inner voice guiding us to what’s best for us. It is a divine blessing we receive when we surrender to the divine. Intuition happens when we disconnect from all sources of information externally and go within. Intuition is a super power(which knows everything) and the more we listen to our intuition, the more we increase this power in us. This is pure divine feminine energy in us.
3) Heart-centered — Being focused on qualities of heart like- love, care, generosity, patience, gratitude, loving kindness, forgiveness, connection etc. When we practice these qualities of our heart, we open our heart and we give power to this divine feminine quality in us.
4) Wise — When we are connected to our heart and listen to our intuition, by default we take wise decisions. Wisdom flows through us in our being. Wisdom takes care of everything.
5) Nurturing — When we nurture ourselves, our ideas and our loved ones, we get in touch with our inner feminine. It is usually agenda less. It gives that nurturing for the sake of giving only. It is pure energy.
6) Allowing/Receiving — When we allow us to be open to receive new ideas, ways or solutions, or even our relationships without any resistance, we are in the most fluid feminine energy. This non-resistant nature in all situations makes us divine.
7) Creative — When we create anything, be it a song, movie, a dish, a piece of art or even a solution for a problem, we evoke our creative energies or our divine feminine self.
https://medium.com/media/274c0e937dc96bef0d53eeeacffda976/href8) Sensual — It is time to claim the beautiful quality of the divine feminine — sensuality. She is the life force of all creation and that fire within has to be owned and not denied as something dirty. When we sensually awaken ourselves, desire our own self, hold ourselves beautiful in our own eyes, find beauty in our own grace, magnetism and accept even our imperfect self perfectly, we own our worth as a woman. The passion of a sensually awakened woman infuses her whole life. She dances through beauty of life. We can evoke our sensuality by indulging in sensual body moves, feeding us food that satiates us, indulging in fragrances we like, taking care of our inner beauty and external appearance, by listening to music or sounds we love. In other words, we can connect to our divine feminine by indulging all our senses — touch, smell, look, sound, taste to please our inner feminine.
https://medium.com/media/fd1343b1153f4685294afab7169194d5/href9) Compassionate — When our divine feminine energy awakens, we become most selfless and compassionate beings. When we give just from the sheer joy of giving. There’s no agenda, there’s no hidden desire to receive that back. It is pure unconditional giving.
10) Collaborative — When we understand that nothing operates as a single unit, when we recognize the importance of each person’s existence and that how together by supporting each other we can work effectively towards achieving common higher goals.
For more order my book https://mybook.to/vipassana
Now that we know the divine aspects feminine polarity in us, let’s understand the negative aspects of it.
Let’s see how distorted feminine energy plays within us. Remember this caters to both men and women. We both carry both in us.
1) Inner emptiness — We feel something is missing and we constantly try to fill that void with something external. For example, indulging in gossiping, shopping, drinking, browsing on phone, watch too much tv, seeking romantic partner, seeking appreciation, looking for external pleasure. Basically, we feel empty within and feel anxious the moment there’s free space and we run to our popular addictions not knowing what to do and falling more and more.
2) Superficial beauty — Spending all energy in trying to fix our looks or external beauty. Spending all energy in parlors, or online buying beauty products or giving all importance to external appearance. We are totally distorted if we measure our value through our outward appearance.
3) Drama — ‘When we don’t allow the present moment to be, we create drama.’ — Eckhart Tolle. We often resist situations and life problems by trying to stay busy. We feel by engaging in things that divert us from being in present moment, we can be relieved of them. Well suppressing something only makes it worse. We create Family drama, love drama, office drama, disease drama, tragedy drama- all just to keep us busy through the day. We crib, complain and spend our day revisiting this drama, day in and day out. We rather create drama than face what’s actually that we are trying to escape? We are big drama queens. We not only do drama, we also feed on other people’s drama by staying in toxic situations. And this applies even to men with dominating feminine in them. Don’t you know men who are big drama queens?
https://medium.com/media/bd6580a9b153cca2f92ae109a4981585/href4) Victimhood — Blaming others for whatever we go through is victimhood. It’s a mentality in which we blame others for our shortcomings and losses. Rather than taking responsibility for our own life, we blame others.
5) Co-dependency — Depending on the other for our basic needs mentally, physically, emotionally and financially is Co-dependency. It is very toxic because in this we give our power and responsibility to someone else. This makes us dependent on the other and that leads to a lot of negativity in us, making us possessive, insecure, jealous, lacking self-worth and self-respect. In codependent relationships, we give all energy to other, so that he or she can fulfil our needs and when that doesn’t happen, we resent them. Co-dependency says ‘you complete me’. All the toxic romanticism gave birth to this behavioral issue. It is a deep subject and I’ll talk at length about it in my upcoming articles.
6) Attention stealing — By always putting your own needs over the other, by always wanting the other to cling to you, by creating drama and situations directly or indirectly to get his all attention is stealing attention. For example, an extreme example of someone seeking attention would be someone creating a disease just to get love, care and attention of loved ones. If we knew, how deep our desires go, we would work more aggressively to look within.
7) Planning for own selfish motives — This is a very common trait of woman or man with distorted feminine energy for own gain. They scheme maliciously to consciously hurt the other and get some advantage out of the situation. These days a lot of time is spent to choose a life partner basis a list of wants and desires.
Women lure a rich man looking for her future security. Man woos a woman who seems docile so that she can adjust with his parents. Both never get what they want because when we scheme against someone (especially in the name of love), divine justice punches us on our face.
8) Lack mentality — We carry a mentality which is narrow. If others get something, we start comparing. We forget all the good that God has given us but we compare in that one thing which we lack. We make our universe small and limited by hosting such regressive thoughts. This lack mentality is also the root cause of jealousy. And this doesn’t let us be in peace. Even the fear of missing out stems out of Lack Mentality. The truth is universe is abundant and has enough for all. With faith and by imbibing divine masculine and feminine qualities, we can heal this toxicity in us and manifest all that our heart desires.
9) Emotional Blackmailing- Playing with other’s emotion to get your way around is one of the favourite manipulations of the feminine. She will blackmail with her tears, with her victimhood, with her being the weaker sex, putting the other in guilt, not even knowing how ingrained this habit is in her. She will deny that it’s an act, but it is totally agenda driven. Withholding emotions or being extremely emotional is another form of emotional blackmailing. Heard of crocodile tears?
https://medium.com/media/7e97f83e4b35b98781ab2b2613eaea29/hrefNow that we know the divine feminine and distorted feminine in us, lets understand the divine masculine polarity in us. Let’s look at what qualities we can embody to awaken our Divine Masculine Self.
Risk taking — The divine masculine embodies inner strength and courage not just in physical sense but also emotionally and spiritually. It is these qualities that help him take risks, face challenges with resilience and perseverance. He is willing to take risk yet remains unattached to the outcome and this detachment is divine energy.https://medium.com/media/20978b42c6fb7aae14225fd0f1c657af/href2) Assertive instead of aggressive — Instead of using our physical strength, demeanor or voice, when we put our point across assertively without an iota of anger or force in it, we are in our divine masculine energy. Aggression comes from anger and the need to be right and heard, assertiveness comes from the purity of doing things the right way. Understand the difference.
3) Leadership — This energy evokes the power of third eye in you. Being the masculine energy(Shiva), it helps us see far hence giving us a vision, that not only motivates us but also helps us inspire our teams to pursue their higher potential and purpose.
https://medium.com/media/cf791df5a1640aac4481489aa1600228/href4) Logic — This energic uses rational thinking and logical analysis to make decisions. It works to balance emotions with logic.
5) Action-oriented — Sometimes out of distorted masculine energy of perfection we internalize the idea too much. We keep holding onto it, trying to make it perfect. In our divine masculine energy, we lean on our intuition to know the right time to take action. We take actions that are driven by intuition not habit.
6) Integrity — Being honest to ourself, speaking our truth, honoring our truth and standing up for our truth are all aspects of integrity.
7) Objective — Having a purpose behind the action. Not just living and acting out of egos just randomly but out of purpose for a cause. It often maintain an obejective and detached perspective, enabling clear understanding not driven out of emotions. This ability to remain objective allows in unbiased assessments and problem solving.
8) Strategic — The ability to see both pros and cons, to see long-term potentials helps us plan well. The divine masculine energy makes us though through, adept at strategic thinking and taking right decisions.
9) Emotionally Intelligent — This involves being in touch with our emotions, expressing them authentically and holding space for others to express theirs’s.
10) Protective — The divine masculine energy protects self needs without asserting power on others. This energy is caring and nurturing that promotes growth and well-being of self and loved ones.
Those were the divine qualities that exist in us but we also have distorted masculine energy within us. We must make efforts to know them deeply.
1) Lust — We operate with lust if we judge us and people with just physical appearance. This is very subtle and often manifests as ‘excessive touching’, ‘uncontrollable looking’, ‘looking for external appreciation’ etc. When we just operate out of our sexual desires and our life revolves around seeking pleasure all the time, we must know we are in total grasp of our lust and sure to be doomed.
2) Self-obsession & Narcissism — Too much love for own ideas, own thoughts, own existence, so much so that it is doesn’t care if might hurt another is self-obsession. Narcissistic tendencies in our distorted inner masculine make us controlling and manipulative with others for our own advantage. There is a very thin line between self-love and self-obsession and its easy for someone practicing ‘self-love to fall on the other side. That is the most hurtful fall and a warrior on the path should always be vigilant to take note time to time on his pride and sense of entitlement to avoid this kind of fall.
3) Competitive — Competitiveness is what a distorted masculine energy brings to our peace. We are happy in our own world, when suddenly our competitiveness will be triggered in us to see our colleague, neighbor, sibling, friend doing better than us. We are blinded by this false envy which makes us an enemy of our own loved ones. We compare consistently and spend whole life trying to ‘one-up’ the other, rather than doing our own thing. Our existence becomes entangled with proving that we are better than them.
4) Materialism & ambitiousness — When all our existence is invested in possessing physical things and to achieve a certain physical status or certain in life. We as human beings have to find a balance in our physical and spiritual world. Our humanness finds peace in growth in the physical world and our being finds peace in growth in our inner world. Distorted Masculine in us keeps us more focused on the physical plane. But in our Divine Union energies we achieve the balance of Human and the Being within.
5) Inaction — Out of fear of going wrong, we freeze or remain stuck in our situations. We self-sabotage and stay in the state if inaction.
6) Rage & violence — When we use our anger to control the other. Raising voice, using physical power or emotionally abusing are some forms of rage and violence that come from our distorted masculine energies.
https://medium.com/media/be3f6688fec096f58aee1eb5d33d367f/href7) Stuck in winner/loser dynamic — When everything is a battle and personal. When we just want to win in all circumstances.
8) Abuse of power and control — When we strive to get powerful and use that power to control and meet own personal agendas rather than for the benefit of a larger group of people, we are distorted and in a negative life state. We become dominating, controlling and abusive in this state.
9) Rejection of intuition — When we snub our inner voice each time it tries to wake us up. We keep distracting us with addictions, habits and in everyday drama to avoid walking on our intuition.
10) Fear of intimacy — When we feel fear in coming close, opening our heart or becoming vulnerable to our loved one, that means we have distorted masculine in us. True love requires complete surrender and is possible only when we are in divine union inside us.
https://medium.com/media/b68c910c0271c24d2cf864ea351f9be9/hrefWe must know that both masculine and feminine energies are intertwined. One triggers the other. Both have equal and unique powers. Both cannot exist independently. They are interdependent. In divine state, they take us up to ‘moksha’ or to the heaven and in distorted state, they take us down to the hell. We need both inside us and that too in balance. When they are imbalanced, we create suffering for us and our loved ones.
When we observe them with equanimity, knowing that we carry both masculine and feminine within with positives and distortions, we achieve a state of oneness, we convert our suffering into blessing. This state of Divine Union within is what we call Love Vipassana. It is the route map to inner union of masculine and feminine.
Understanding and embracing these energies can manifest our desires and improve our relationships with our loved ones. It will also end the battle of the genders one day. It will bring back the lost respect and love for each other. Marriage won’t have an agenda then. It would be a beautiful dance. It would be born out of pure love.
https://medium.com/media/e2c5c6fd9417916be414b3ea6bc15125/hrefLove and only love is the need of the day. But somebody has to take the responsibility to make a start for that change. Knowing and evoking them is the first step towards the state of Love Vipassana.
If not now, then when? If not you, then who?
[image error]LOVE VIPASSANA: THE INNER UNION - OUT NOW ON AMAZON was originally published in Twin Flame on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
