Why We Need Purpose

I’m enjoying this summer of sport – after Wimbledon and the men’s football Euros, we now have the Paris Olympics. We’ll see athletes at the peak of their performance, experiencing the extremes of joy and despair and we’ll share their passion and their pain.

What can we learn from sport about how to live our lives? I think there are two key learnings.

• We need purpose in our lives
• The process is more satisfying than the outcome

Purpose

We need a sense of purpose to give our lives meaning – something that makes what we do meaningful, something that makes us want to get out of bed in the morning.

We know that people who retire often “unretire” (ie go back to some form of work or volunteering). Simon Sinek says “fulfilment comes when we live our lives on purpose” and according to neuroscientist Daniel Levitin, “too much time spent with no purpose is associated with unhappiness”.

Process or Outcome?

Athletes, like anyone who works, get their sense of purpose from their daily activity, their sport. But there is a caveat. If you invest too much in the ultimate outcome – winning your race, your match – you can be devastated when you don’t win. It’s more helpful to invest in the process, the goals and targets you set yourself along the way. After all, you can control the process – what you do day to day – but you can’t control whether you win, as that depends on lots of factors outside your control.

Setting yourself process targets – to train, to practice, to improve on your own performance – gives you a sense of purpose and is more helpful to your mental state than focusing on winning. This is the core message of Cath Bishop’s book The Long Win, and as an Olympian, she has had first hand experience.

It’s the same for us non-athletes. Set yourself a vision by all means – this can be motivating – but don’t burden it with all your expectation. Focus instead on how to get there, the steps along the way, and reward yourself for each step.

Fulfilling Your Core Needs

It’s also in the process of doing something that we fulfil our core needs to belong, be competent, and have some freedom. Fulfilling these needs makes our daily activities meaningful and purposeful.

We enjoy doing things that satisfy these needs – having connections with other people (belonging), applying our talents (competence) and having control over what we do (autonomy). When we can’t spend enough time on the things that meet those needs, we feel drained and dissatisfied and in the long run this can lead to poor mental health.

When I get up in the morning, I always feel happier on days when I know I am going to do a mix of things – some work coaching or writing, some activities with others, time with friends and family, and some time outside.   As well as meeting my needs for competence, belonging, and freedom, this mixture also works for maintaining my mental, emotional and physical energy at good levels.  See chapter 17 in How to Get On with Anyone for tips on how to manage your energy.  And there’s a free quiz with tips here.

As you plan your day or your week, ask yourself when and how you will meet your core needs – build in time to spend with others and be part of a group, take the opportunity to use your talents and develop your skills – you will feel both motivated and have greater well-being.

Enjoy the process because that is your life.

For more tips and tools for motivation, purpose and how to maintain your persistence and resilience, dip into my book Motivation: The Ultimate Guide to Leading Your Team and Sign up for my monthly newsletter.

 

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