What I Always Wanted

IT'S THAT TIME OF year when people think about giving. For my wife, this is what she lives for. She loves buying presents. She’s a very giving person and puts a great deal of thought into the gifts she buys.

She’ll buy gifts all year round, even when the event—such as Christmas—is months away. Problem is, she frequently forgets where she’s stored the presents she’s bought. They’ll eventually be found, but in many cases long past the date when she wanted to give them. We took a trip to Alaska in 2021. One of the gifts I received last Christmas was from that trip. I laughed when I saw it.

She inherited this trait from her mother, who would also buy gifts far ahead of time, and then forget what she bought or where it was stored. It was a running joke that, around Christmas time, my mother-in-law would confess to forgetting where your gift was.

“It’s better to give than to receive.” That’s a noble sentiment. But what if you don’t want to receive? That’s been me for many years. It’s not that I don’t want more stuff. The problem is, I get stuff I don’t want or need.

For instance, I’m not a fashion plate. I don’t buy the latest styles. Instead, my clothes are the same style that I’ve been wearing for years. I own blue suits, white shirts, black shoes, blue jeans, T-shirts and solid-color sweatshirts. You get the idea.

For years, my wife has been trying to upgrade my wardrobe. She buys me clothes for Christmas or my birthday that she thinks I ought to wear. They sit unworn in the back of my closet or dresser drawers.

My wife’s sister and her daughters have the same need to buy presents. As a member of this family, I’m on the receiving end. Their gifts usually aren’t what I want or need. I politely say “thanks,” not meaning it, but rather for the sake of not causing a scene.

This all started when I was a kid. My brother and I would always receive gifts from Santa Claus. For some reason, he never got me what I wanted. When I got older and began working, I solved this problem by buying what I wanted.

This Ebenezer Scrooge attitude still lies within me. I don’t have a wish list of items I want others to buy for me. Because no list is offered, I get what people think I could use or want. Nine times out of 10, it isn’t.

When family members ask for my list, I say, “I really don’t want anything.” I thought this would reduce their anxiety. The opposite occurred. They rack their brains trying to figure out what I might want. They’re also mad that I don’t produce a list of all the things I’ve always wanted. What’s a guy to do?

Last Christmas, when I opened the presents from my wife and son, I was pleasantly surprised. Instead of getting things that my wife thinks I need, she bought me everyday items that I use, but I’ve run out of or soon will. It was a good Christmas.

One year, my sister-in-law presented me with a nicely wrapped box, telling me, “This is something you’ve always wanted.”

Who can resist that? Something I’ve always wanted. I can’t imagine what it is. Oh boy, oh boy.

It was a shoe-shine box. When did I say that was what I always wanted? My wife answered for my sister-in-law: “You said you wanted a place to shine your shoes.”

I replied, “What I wanted was the chair that has a coat hanger on the back, so I can put my suit jacket on the back, and then sit on the chair and polish my shoes before putting them on.”

My wife said, “Oh, you wanted a valet chair.”

That shoe shine box? I still use it. Every time I see it, I smile. I think back to that Christmas when I supposedly got what I always wanted.

David Gartland was born and raised on Long Island, New York, and has lived in central New Jersey since 1987. He earned a bachelor’s degree in math from the State University of New York at Cortland and holds various professional insurance designations. Dave’s property and casualty insurance career with different companies lasted 42 years. He’s been married 36 years, and has a son with special needs. Dave has identified three areas of interest that he focuses on to enjoy retirement: exploring, learning and accomplishing. Pursuing any one of these leads to contentment. Check out Dave's earlier articles.

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