My Path to Peace
FORMER NEW YORK CITY Mayor Ed Koch used to frequently ask the city’s residents, “How am I doing?”
When I was younger, I’d ask myself that same question. I was always trying to keep up with others, whether it was socially, academically, athletically or financially. My big fear was that I wasn’t going to make it. I could never let down my guard, relax and take it easy. I was always having to compensate for whatever I was deficient in. It became my norm.
Then I retired, and everything changed. I felt like I’d crossed the finish line. I felt like I was done with making adjustments.
I took an inventory of my life—everything I’d done and everything I now had. I was surprised. All the things I worried about achieving, having or overcoming, I’d managed to accomplish.
A feeling of peace came over me—not a religious peace, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve or accomplish something important. I could relax and stop to smell the proverbial roses, something I’d never before let myself do.
I’d been too busy trying to keep up, trying to overcome deficiencies and obstacles, with the belief that—if I didn’t—I’d fail. And it would be my fault, because I wasn’t trying hard enough.
One of my hobbies, if you want to call it that, is learning about finance. I’ve always sought out articles or books to learn all that I can. What should I be doing, or not doing, to reach financial independence?
During my reading, I often saw references to people trying to determine how they were doing relative to others. Do they have more or less than their neighbors, classmates or co-workers? I found that silly.
The main question I have at this stage in my life is, “Do I have enough?” To me, “enough” means enough money to pay my immediate bills. I know that sounds rather small-minded. But that’s the beauty of my life at this stage. I don’t have to work, and yet I have enough to put food on the table and keep a roof over my head.
During my last job, people would regularly approach me in the coffee room and ask, “How are you doing?”
My reply: “I’m still breathing. Count your blessings. Blessing No. 1: I’m still breathing.”
The response would be an “amen” from the more religious types, or a smile or “you’re right” from others.
My blessing is, I can look back over my life, and feel I’ve made it and I now have enough. I’m still breathing. I’m not in a hospital bed. I have money in the bank. I have free time to do whatever I want.
To me, these are the most important things, the reward for a life where I focused so much time on finances. That focus means today I can pay my bills without doing any paid work.
Will I always have enough? I have no idea. If I stay out of nursing homes and don’t come down with any critical diseases, I probably will. But who knows? To me, the important thing is to take the time now to enjoy life—because we never know how much time we have.
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