After $30,000, Don't You Get Free Shipping?

Me: Hi, I'd like to order the fireproof, signed editions of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 and Stephen King's Firestarter.

Customer Rep: Excellent! You are aware that these books together cost $31,810?

Me: I am. Please put it on my Visa.

Customer Rep: Very good. With shipping, your order total will be $31,817.50.

Me: @#!%&!