Slightly less midsummer madness

(Nimue)

Midsummer has tended to be a rather crazy time of year for me. I’m sensitive to light, so the short nights can leave me sleep deprived, and that’s never been great for my mental health or physical functionality. This year is playing out in surprising ways.

To my surprise, I’ve become a lot less light sensitive. As this has been an issue since childhood, I did not imagine it could just go away, but it has. The calmer and more relaxed I am, the easier it is for me to sleep. (Who knew?) I was an anxious child, for a whole host of reasons, but at the time there was no way of identifying that as the cause of my sleep issues.

It turns out that if I’m relaxed enough, I can go to sleep even when there’s considerable light. I may be woken by light, but can go back to sleep – this is wild stuff. It’s allowed me to wake for the dawn chorus often, appreciate the start of the day and then go back to sleep. So here I am in the middle of summer, not being dismantled by exhaustion and getting to really enjoy what the season has to offer.

When something seems normal, it can go unnoticed. You might not even try to change the things that seem inevitable. These experiences have taught me not to assume that anything is forever, and unchangeable. It’s opened me up to a far greater sense of possibility and hope. Not everything can be fixed, not every problem has a solution. Nonetheless, ‘better’ may be a possibility and is worth looking for.

Rather than driving me slowly round the bend, this summer has brought remarkable gifts. I think I could get to like this time of year, with its beauty and bounty.