How to suck at things
(Nimue)
A friend of mine has started learning to play a musical instrument. She commented that she’s getting to the point where sometimes it sounds more like music than noise.
Starting out as a musician is tough, because in the beginning you will sound awful. This is hard as an adult – children seem to have more stamina for it. As an adult learner if you have an interest in music the odds are you know enough to have a keen sense of just how awful you are at the beginning. It’s true of almost anything you might take on where you haven’t been automatically blessed with some innate ability to do it.
It can be hard to push into things without the comfort of being innately good. Having a natural gift means very little beyond that early insulation. It’s easier to get started on those terms. However good you are at something there will come a point where you have to work, push and struggle to improve. That can catch out the people who thought they were intrinsically good, and plenty of people give up when they hit that first challenge.
If you want to be good at something, what has the most impact is the time you invest in it. If you love something enough to keep working on it, then given enough time, you will become good at it. The idea that talent is key is an absolute lie. It just makes it less intimidating to get started.
It is absolutely ok to suck. It is ok to be crap at what you’re trying to do. In the case of instruments as a beginner there should be no shame at all in making terrible, unmusical noises. You won’t get to make the beautiful noises without passing through this. Every great musician you have ever heard had some point in their life when they did not know how to play. There were years when they could not play as well as they do now. They may become even better in the future. Anyone who plays music is on that same path.
It takes a certain amount of courage to suck at something and keep going. I was not a naturally gifted violin player in my teens. I was mediocre at best, and had no feel for it. Once I got out of the classical/school system and learned to play more by ear and with people, I started to flourish, and I got fairly decent. Body issues robbed me of the ability to play and I’ve been obliged to go back to sucking at it in the hopes of getting better. It’s not easy.
If there is something you want to do, but you have no natural aptitude, do it anyway. You will get better. Allow yourself to suck, and be prepared to struggle. If you want it enough to put in the time then you will improve. How much you improve will have more to do with the time you invest than any other single factor. If someone has told you that you can’t do the thing because you weren’t able to magically to it straight off, ignore them. These are not good teachers. Time and dedication are what makes someone good, and you can start anywhere and work towards being capable.
