If Not Now, When?
WE WERE DINING WITH close friends when the conversation turned to foreign travel. Stories were recounted of ventures to exotic and faraway lands filled with inspiring people, unique cultures and historic sites.
My wife and I were humbled by the sheer number of trips our friends had taken. We were shy to admit that our international travel bucket was relatively empty, and we had embarrassingly few stories to share.
This wasn’t a matter of keeping up with the Joneses. We simply had neither the time nor the opportunity for international adventures while we raised our twins. At the time, that type of vacation wasn’t a priority for our family.
On a whim, during our drive home, I promised my wife we’d take an international trip. We had a huge list of destinations we dreamed of visiting. Besides, we include a travel line in our annual retirement budget. If now isn’t the time to venture forth, then when?
The following evening, while sharing a cheeseboard and Moscato on our patio, Lori reminded me of my promise. I knew where this conversation was heading. I told myself that now might be a good time to refill my glass of vino.
Years of training caused my well-oiled frugal senses to once again begin to tingle. But a promise is a promise, or so my wife tells me. And now that we were both retired, there was no reason not to tackle one of our bucket list items.
As if I needed more convincing, Lori suggested we do this to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my successful brain surgery. Alas, I couldn’t refute that logic. No additional arm twisting was required.
My wife suggested Costa Rica as a destination. I’ve been a card-carrying molecular biologist for three decades, and have always admired the treasure trove of biodiversity found in equatorial countries. So it was decided.
I must confess to an irrational fear of vacationing, especially trips outside the U.S. Part of this stems from studying endemic micro-organisms for decades. Leishmania, leprosy, malaria, tuberculosis and schistosomiasis are part of my everyday vocabulary. I know too much about the mechanisms underlying rare diseases in underdeveloped countries.
Yet, truth be told, I also feel overwhelmed and anxious when making travel plans. The 14th century French philosopher Jean Buridan described a scenario where a donkey placed equidistant between two equal bales of hay will starve due to indecision. I must be an ass, as I too have difficulty making a decision when there are too many choices available.
Therefore, I acquiesced to our travels, with the understood caveat that Lori would have to do the heavy-lifting and assemble a working itinerary. I don’t mind making suggestions now and again. But I’d rather be surprised upon arriving at our destination. Honestly, all I needed was a hike in a rainforest, plus breakfast with a steaming cup of Joe made from freshly harvested and roasted coffee beans.
Over the course of a week, I painfully watched my wife struggle with the excursion planning, picking from among the dizzying array of places to stay, coffee plantations to see, rivers to cross and mountains to climb. Finally, it was too much for me to bear. I felt her herculean efforts were far outweighing the trip’s potential fun. So, completely out of character, I insisted we utilize the services of a travel agent.
I rationalized that our once-in-a-lifetime trip should not be weighed down by my frugal tendencies. Although it was mentally excruciating, I opened up our checkbook and gave the travel agent a working wish list and hopeful budget. It took five or six iterations of the desired activities, and three upward adjustments to the final cost, but we finally arrived at an itinerary we loved.
We never looked back. I paid for the trip, plus insurance, in advance. What helped most was an assumed mental outlook where I considered funds as already spent prior to beginning the trip. I realized that we have the freedom to travel, and should not feel guilty for dipping into funds for an expense already included as a line item in our annual budget.
I’m not writing this piece to detail our travels. Yes, it rained on our hike in the rainforest. Yes, the clouds limited an awe-inspiring view of the cloud forest. Yes, taking a night walk in a forest filled with nocturnal pumas, sloths, snakes and rodents of unusual size is quite exhilarating.
Rather, the purpose of this tale is to convey that I’m starting to understand the invigorating power of experiences and their worthiness as a use for money saved over a frugal lifetime. While frugality has its place, sometimes we need to let go of our funds and enjoy what life has to offer. After all, money is simply a tool and not an end in itself.
We were also able to target another high-priority item on our bucket list: random acts of kindness. Tips were included for almost every aspect of our travels. Still, it felt good to hand out additional and unexpected $5 or $10 bills to people who made our experience more enjoyable. While it didn’t make a significant dent in our lives, it made a world of difference to the recipients.
Finally, we noticed that the locals were content, with a markedly slower pace of life. Sundar Mohan Rao wrote a HumbleDollar article about an acquaintance who, when asked how he was faring, commented that any day above ground was a good day. The Costa Rican locals embrace that viewpoint.
We heard two expressions multiple times. First was buena vida, which means good living. The second expression was pura vida, which connotes an easy and pure outlook on life. The locals took these expressions to heart, incorporating these ideals into everyday activities—a goal to which we can all aspire.
Jeffrey K. Actor, PhD, was a professor at a major medical school in Houston for more than 25 years, serving as an academic researcher with interests in how immune responses function to fight pathogenic diseases. Jeff’s retirement goals are to write short science fiction stories, volunteer in the community and spend time in his garden. Check out his earlier articles.
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