Primary Should Include Social Time

A sweet little boy in my 9 year-old son’s Sunday school class finds him before sacrament each Sunday to ask if they can sit together. They trade sitting with each other’s families most Sundays and spend sacrament quietly drawing together. The two boys don’t go to the same school, so they are “church” friends. This would have totally been off-limits when I was a kid because sacrament was not social time, but it is a lovely connection these two have each Sunday that helps them build their friendship, while encouraging each other to be reverent.

The local LDS congregation as a whole is a hodge-podge of people gathered from nearby towns. While some wards share a town/city/neighborhood identity, this ward (not long-ago branch) gathers from a broader geographic area. This means that many kids are like these little boys; they have church, school, family, and neighborhood friends. Sunday may be the one day they have to connect, so church friendships may take longer/be more challenging to build in primary.

And, just like their adult counterparts who seek each other out in the chapel aisles and church hallways, kids want to catch up, chat, and check in with each other on Sundays. With the tight Sunday schedules, building restrictions, and Sunday routines, we often discourage kids from dawdling, crowding hallways, or keeping their teachers waiting. We should rethink discouraging this social time for all ages, but especially primary-age children.

With the emphasis on learning reverence and respect for speakers and teachers, kids are also shushed and quieted down throughout Sunday services. After a long hour of sitting in practiced silence and practicing reverence, another hour of quiet reverence and patient listening is a great deal to ask of kids (and, frankly, adults). While learning gospel principles is certainly important, learning to live them through genuine friendships and social interactions is also important.

I recognize that not all primaries are the same and some may incorporate different social times or activities. If your primary is doing this, that’s awesome. I’d love for you to share some ideas, successes, and even challenges you’ve had to overcome in the comments. I also absolutely recognize that primary needs structure, discipline, and clear expectations. I’m not suggesting a free-for-all. Instead, here are some ideas to help incorporate social time into primary:

Start each class giving every child the chance to share something special about their weekSet aside time during general primary for “catching up” with your primary friends. If kids have this to look forward to and understand the routine, it can help them work on other behaviors in a positive way.Incorporate icebreakers and mini games into lessonsInclude a question of the week board and have kids answer it. Give them time to explore it.Play “get the wiggles out” games randomlyInvite kids to brainstorm or work in mini groups for lessonsSend kids on a scavenger hunt to find people with different experiences/hobbies/etc.

Sometimes the focus of primary can be so heavily on reverence, mastering song lyrics, and getting through lesson materials, we can forget about the essentials of building friendships, community, and connection. I’d love to see the LDS church come out with more materials to support leaders and teachers in incorporating more social time in primary.