What Was Your First Ward Like?
I recently had a conversation with a dear friend who is a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints going through a faith journey. They asked me about my experiences as an adult convert to the church and what my first ward was like. I talked about getting baptized in the Washington, DC area and attending a dream ward for me.
Bright, aspiring, driven women made up the majority of my Young Single Adults ward. There was political and ideological diversity with plenty of vocal Republicans and Democrats and Independents. I wasn’t the only person who believed polygamy or the Priesthood and Temple ban against Black people didn’t come from God. I wasn’t the only supporter of LGBTQIA+ rights including same-sex marriage, and nobody questioned my worthiness to hold a Temple recommend despite my criticisms of the church. At the same time, the membership was not a monolith and I frequently interacted with people who disagreed with me, helped me refine my views, and inspired me to tailor my advocacy and activism.
Though we noticeably lacked racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic diversity, there was an effort to reach out more to underrepresented groups and make our ward a more welcoming place for more of God’s children. My then-boyfriend and now-husband, who has never been a member, was embraced by the community. I had plenty of friends who were willing to talk to me about my doubts and challenges with church history, doctrine, and culture. Nobody ever told me I didn’t belong.
My friend on the faith journey described their home ward, which sounded nothing like my first ward. Their home ward was rigid, almost universally conservative, and quick to judge those who deviated from church tradition, culture, or leaders’ official positions on every issue. Sunday meetings weren’t a safe place to share doubts or criticisms unless you wanted to risk losing your Temple recommend, being eliminated from consideration for callings, and becoming a ward project.
I’ve often thought that I wouldn’t have gotten baptized if my introduction to the church had happened somewhere else. I’m so grateful that the vast majority of the members in my life are tolerant, compassionate, willing to engage on questions of faith intellectually as well as spiritually, and open to changing their minds over time. The longer I stay, the more I realize how precious that privilege is. I wish every ward was an open and welcoming place, but that’s clearly not the case.
How much of an impact does one’s first ward have? I would say it’s monumental. I’ve moved a lot since I joined the church, but even when I’ve lived in places where I struggled with the inflexibility and narrow-mindedness of a specific ward I could always remember and come home to a place where I felt more included.
What was your first ward like? How has that affected your membership throughout your life? Do you think it matters as much as I think it does?
In Matthew 18:20, God promises “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” In my experience, this is true. But how those other people (even if it’s just one or two) treat us can either invite the spirit or chase it away. Would you agree?
