This is WHY I write unpopular stuff.
This video I tragic but how many people blow it off and don't care? OR don't even know this happens because that are all closed up in their safe little homes.
(trying to embed video here but it doesn't work. Click the Tom and Shane link to view video on You Tube.
This tragic story of Tom and Shane is out there. THIS REALLY HAPPENS. Shane even says he has to post this so others will know about it and think about it incase the unthinkable happens in their lives. We are not in a free culture. America seems free because we DO have more freedoms than so many other countries. We do! For the most part, people are not jailed and tortured as easily HERE as they are in other countries for being gay. Being gay in America is not a crime punishable by death. (Although, I bet there are people who think it should be.) There are many places in the US of A that are NOT "gay friendly" and do not welcome same sex couples. We all know this! Don't we? Or maybe you don't think about it at all?
In m/m romance for the most part (the genre I fell into) the same sex couples have fairy tale lives. They are cowboys, or vampires, or shapeshifters and they have a lot of sex. They fall in love. They defy someone here and there, or some opposition and beat the odds and live happily ever after. And oddly enough, they probably have a brother that is gay, ad a cousin, and a neighbor, so that every book written that follows has the same setting etc... It's all happy. Yes, there maybe gay-bashing but it is small and gotten over quickly.
Have I written the stereotypical novel based on that. Yes. I guess I have to some extent. Darian is not a shapeshifter, and jamie isn't a cowboy, but Matt IS a firefighter. And then there is my newest one... My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! This novel will definitely be more widely accepted. It is funny. It HAS an HAE. It has romance and angst and memorable characters. People will love it. Blockbuster? Probably not. It is MY book after all and I am not that lucky. But, as it is MY book, I do have controversial stuff included. One chapter is called "Hate Crimes" for a reason. (You will have to read it to know what hate crimes I write about). I Did not set out to write "popularity". I just sat down with a scene in my head of a camping trip and I went on from there. (The camping trip is chapter 6. "Rainy andWhet Wet" It is so funny. -in my opinion.) Did I KNOW comedy was going to come out? No. Not right away. I don't really think a head that much. I get an idea and I run with it. I had a name "Cole" and then I thought of an opening line "Someone told me I’m a cynical fatalist but I prefer the term realist." From there on it seemed like I needed to write fun and upbeat. It FIT Cole. AND it was a refreshing change from writing DARK.
Darian and Matt (and Jamie for that matter) are hard and painful to write sometimes. BUT, I write pain because I think that is what people need to hear. I write reality because it is, um, REAL. Things like this happen! And for all those people out there who go through pain, tragedy, and losing a loved one, (Like Shane in the video I linked) I want to tell then YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Because it is easy to think, "I'm the only one who feels like this." It is easy to give into the lie, "No one feels this pain like I do." TRUE, no one knows your pain as intimately as you, BUT there ARE other who feel pain. Life is not pretty. If we carry our pain alone it is heavy and overwhelming and crippling. There are support groups for "losing children", and "losing spouses" etc... But where are the support groups for "I just lost my same-sex partner of ten years"? Same sex couple marriage is not recognized in most states. And even if it IS recognized in some states I do not think it is recognized FEDERALLY . (feel free to comment and correct me if I am wrong.)
I WANT to write about characters like this. Like the people who really exist and really live in fear and pain and tragedy. But where do I submit this theme? I don't know. As we have already seen, TCOL was rejected twice. (and submitted again, but I seriously think it will not fly there either.) So where do I turn? >>Here is where comments come in! Feel free to post publishers you have heard of that DO NOT typically publish the "popular" stuff. I need to know. Real life, angsty pain, autobiographies, hate crimes, true life struggles, because not not every gay man is a cowboy. Not all gay couples have a HEA. But I do admit I like the gay couples who have a lot of sex. It gives me hope. (I like to dream.)
Do I have a story like Tom and Shane's in me to tell? I don't know. But if I DO, I'd like to know where to send it to be published. Any thoughts?
Tell me what you think. I like reading comments!
xoxo
Wade
(trying to embed video here but it doesn't work. Click the Tom and Shane link to view video on You Tube.
This tragic story of Tom and Shane is out there. THIS REALLY HAPPENS. Shane even says he has to post this so others will know about it and think about it incase the unthinkable happens in their lives. We are not in a free culture. America seems free because we DO have more freedoms than so many other countries. We do! For the most part, people are not jailed and tortured as easily HERE as they are in other countries for being gay. Being gay in America is not a crime punishable by death. (Although, I bet there are people who think it should be.) There are many places in the US of A that are NOT "gay friendly" and do not welcome same sex couples. We all know this! Don't we? Or maybe you don't think about it at all?
In m/m romance for the most part (the genre I fell into) the same sex couples have fairy tale lives. They are cowboys, or vampires, or shapeshifters and they have a lot of sex. They fall in love. They defy someone here and there, or some opposition and beat the odds and live happily ever after. And oddly enough, they probably have a brother that is gay, ad a cousin, and a neighbor, so that every book written that follows has the same setting etc... It's all happy. Yes, there maybe gay-bashing but it is small and gotten over quickly.
Have I written the stereotypical novel based on that. Yes. I guess I have to some extent. Darian is not a shapeshifter, and jamie isn't a cowboy, but Matt IS a firefighter. And then there is my newest one... My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! This novel will definitely be more widely accepted. It is funny. It HAS an HAE. It has romance and angst and memorable characters. People will love it. Blockbuster? Probably not. It is MY book after all and I am not that lucky. But, as it is MY book, I do have controversial stuff included. One chapter is called "Hate Crimes" for a reason. (You will have to read it to know what hate crimes I write about). I Did not set out to write "popularity". I just sat down with a scene in my head of a camping trip and I went on from there. (The camping trip is chapter 6. "Rainy and
Darian and Matt (and Jamie for that matter) are hard and painful to write sometimes. BUT, I write pain because I think that is what people need to hear. I write reality because it is, um, REAL. Things like this happen! And for all those people out there who go through pain, tragedy, and losing a loved one, (Like Shane in the video I linked) I want to tell then YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Because it is easy to think, "I'm the only one who feels like this." It is easy to give into the lie, "No one feels this pain like I do." TRUE, no one knows your pain as intimately as you, BUT there ARE other who feel pain. Life is not pretty. If we carry our pain alone it is heavy and overwhelming and crippling. There are support groups for "losing children", and "losing spouses" etc... But where are the support groups for "I just lost my same-sex partner of ten years"? Same sex couple marriage is not recognized in most states. And even if it IS recognized in some states I do not think it is recognized FEDERALLY . (feel free to comment and correct me if I am wrong.)
I WANT to write about characters like this. Like the people who really exist and really live in fear and pain and tragedy. But where do I submit this theme? I don't know. As we have already seen, TCOL was rejected twice. (and submitted again, but I seriously think it will not fly there either.) So where do I turn? >>Here is where comments come in! Feel free to post publishers you have heard of that DO NOT typically publish the "popular" stuff. I need to know. Real life, angsty pain, autobiographies, hate crimes, true life struggles, because not not every gay man is a cowboy. Not all gay couples have a HEA. But I do admit I like the gay couples who have a lot of sex. It gives me hope. (I like to dream.)
Do I have a story like Tom and Shane's in me to tell? I don't know. But if I DO, I'd like to know where to send it to be published. Any thoughts?
Tell me what you think. I like reading comments!
xoxo
Wade
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Sue
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May 08, 2012 06:42AM
I'm in the middle of writing another novel. I don't generally write fairytale stories, and I'm lucky my publisher will accept them. I wrote a scene in this latest one where they encounter religious homophobia - again, and contemplated taking it out, as this has been a theme in several of my books. I don't think I will though. I'm not going to dismiss something that happens on a daily basis.
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Thoughts? A lot, this is a very good post :)I agree that life isn't a fairy tale, that pain is very much included. I certainly think we can change things and make them better, and we have to try until we succeed.
Romances, all kind of romances, usually have an HEA because people like to think that past the pain there is happiness. Here comes to my mind Rick Reed's novel Bashed. That's a very hard one to read, and beautiful at the same time. It's definitely not a fairy tale.
Now, you are a writer, and your stories come from your heart, I would say, whatever is in you, write it. I certainly cross my fingers that you'll find people who'll publish them :)
Personally I read to escape real life. But now and again I think its good to read something a little more deep, to remind ourselfs that real life is not like the fairy tales. That video was certainly a reminder that life is unfair. How can a parent be so cruel?
Fingers crossed Wade that someone can help you get TCOL out there for us to read.
Thanks to everyone for these encouraging words!! I am doing my best.
Great post Wade! There have been a few times recently where I had to give a little reminder to someone that what we read here isn't real life, as much as we would like it to be. I think we sometimes immerse ourselves in this genre so much we forget.Do I wish it was...yes! Things have gotten a little better but at a snails pace. There is hope and even though geography has a huge role, the younger generations for the most part are more accepting.
Like Dee I read to escape real life but once in a while we do need reminders we don't live in this Fairy Tale world.
Keep on writing Wade!Isn't there a saying "Good things come to those who wait" well you've waited now its time for the good things!
Thanks Monika! I think I see some good things that have happened since I did have to wait. (and still am.) I am learning things. I am researching different types of publishing. I think I am getting better at editing. I am making a list of the words I get wrong in writing. (Using the wrong word.) I am meeting people and talking to different folks about writing. It is a good experience. Just frustrating waiting. But, whatever. One day at a time!I'm editing My Roommate's a Jock and it is cracking me up. (So sad, I laugh at myself all the time.) I hope it makes other people laugh too. Even though this one IS more mainstream, I did not do it intentionally, the story just fell out of my head that way. But with humor and an HEA, it will help people to know who I am as I write the darker stuff too. I need some happy stories to counter the effects of writing dark. oxox
Wade wrote: "I submitted it. fingers crossed!"Yay keeping all fingers crossed for you Wade!!!!
I'm with Dee and Vio on this one Good Luck Wade!
Wade wrote: "I submitted it. fingers crossed!"Add me to the crossing the fingers and toes list. Good luck Wade.
