Wade Kelly's Blog - Posts Tagged "publishing"
Silence
I don't know about any of you, but sometimes I need silence. Like the hustle-bustle of life can get so crazy that I can't hear myself think. Being a writer it is kind-of essential to think. Everything, literally, is in my head! Yesterday, I shut off. There wasn't anything going on. It was actually very depressing by the end of the day. I felt very blah. I felt drained and I felt cold, and I wasn't motivated to write anything although I had some time to. It was aggravating in some sense because sometimes there is so little time to write so when I had a chance, my mind wasn't working.
Then... I went to bed. Right before falling asleep a story-line hit me. Then I dream it, and wake up to it. And oh my gosh, it is dominating my thoughts! How am I supposed to finish my current WIP if this new one will not leave me alone? GRRR. I have to take time out now to write down the details so I won't forget them! Sorry, no details. I get paranoid every once in a while about people stealing my ideas if I share them too soon. One thing, is that it might be YA. I only say that because the age of the characters is young. (High School age.) So very little sex and more about the story is what might happen. There is also a strong girl character. That should be interesting. I've not written a strong "girl" part in too many of my tales. We'll see how it all turns out. No title in mind either.
on the WIP, and TCOL... not much to tell yet. I think the biggest problem with TCOL is that it is too long. I need to cut words, sentences, &/or scenes. Should not be too hard, but it might take TIME as I need to go through it carefully. I hope to get to that by the end of the month.
WIP... We are calling it MRJWC. (My Roommates a Jock? Well, Crap!) I have about 68k with a chapter or two to write. I have a "tentative" Beta reader. (I only say tentative because this is the first we have worked together and she hasn't read my stuff before.) I am taking it slow and hoping our working relationship will go well. So far I've sent a few chapters to get a feel for her thoughts and criticism. So far, she has pointed out some flaws that I COMPLETELY missed when writing it. ahhhh. *sigh*. As frustrating as it is to see flaws in CHAPTER 2!!! (beginning of the book, mind you.) It is also very good to see that she is a "thinking" person. (Not that I am insinuating ANYTHING about people in general NOT thinking.) But I am saying it to say that she was not just simply saying, "Oh, I like it!" blah, blah, without anything constructive so as to not hurt my feelings right off. She was blunt and pointed out the flaw!
So, thank you, dear BETA reader! :)
I need to see the flaws. That is the purpose of a beta reader. So, with the one major flaw in chapter 2, I started thinking about other conflicts. I have three characters that are basically the same. WHY? You ask. Because I'm an idiot. I about 7 major characters in MRJWC. (two MCs and 5 others that play a major part in it.) Of the other 5 side characters, I found that I put the same personality traits in 3. This is so dumb. So, now I have to alter them. I think this is partially why my brian shut down the other day. It is daunting sometimes to think that I have to edit through 68k and rethink the actions and dialogue of the characters so they don't repeat each other.
Plus, I have POV shifts that I want to make sense and not confuse people when you all read them. (I know how some readers have POV shifts.) I also have some flashbacks that were confusing to the Beta. I need to fix those too! So, today, besides my day job, I need to think clearly and jump at my tasks with enthusiasm, not dread.
My conclusion .... being a writer is very difficult. Getting off the ground is very difficult. Not getting discouraged is very difficult. Why do I do it? I guess I like to torture myself. Is a masochist the one who gets off from pain? Maybe that's me.
Then... I went to bed. Right before falling asleep a story-line hit me. Then I dream it, and wake up to it. And oh my gosh, it is dominating my thoughts! How am I supposed to finish my current WIP if this new one will not leave me alone? GRRR. I have to take time out now to write down the details so I won't forget them! Sorry, no details. I get paranoid every once in a while about people stealing my ideas if I share them too soon. One thing, is that it might be YA. I only say that because the age of the characters is young. (High School age.) So very little sex and more about the story is what might happen. There is also a strong girl character. That should be interesting. I've not written a strong "girl" part in too many of my tales. We'll see how it all turns out. No title in mind either.
on the WIP, and TCOL... not much to tell yet. I think the biggest problem with TCOL is that it is too long. I need to cut words, sentences, &/or scenes. Should not be too hard, but it might take TIME as I need to go through it carefully. I hope to get to that by the end of the month.
WIP... We are calling it MRJWC. (My Roommates a Jock? Well, Crap!) I have about 68k with a chapter or two to write. I have a "tentative" Beta reader. (I only say tentative because this is the first we have worked together and she hasn't read my stuff before.) I am taking it slow and hoping our working relationship will go well. So far I've sent a few chapters to get a feel for her thoughts and criticism. So far, she has pointed out some flaws that I COMPLETELY missed when writing it. ahhhh. *sigh*. As frustrating as it is to see flaws in CHAPTER 2!!! (beginning of the book, mind you.) It is also very good to see that she is a "thinking" person. (Not that I am insinuating ANYTHING about people in general NOT thinking.) But I am saying it to say that she was not just simply saying, "Oh, I like it!" blah, blah, without anything constructive so as to not hurt my feelings right off. She was blunt and pointed out the flaw!
So, thank you, dear BETA reader! :)
I need to see the flaws. That is the purpose of a beta reader. So, with the one major flaw in chapter 2, I started thinking about other conflicts. I have three characters that are basically the same. WHY? You ask. Because I'm an idiot. I about 7 major characters in MRJWC. (two MCs and 5 others that play a major part in it.) Of the other 5 side characters, I found that I put the same personality traits in 3. This is so dumb. So, now I have to alter them. I think this is partially why my brian shut down the other day. It is daunting sometimes to think that I have to edit through 68k and rethink the actions and dialogue of the characters so they don't repeat each other.
Plus, I have POV shifts that I want to make sense and not confuse people when you all read them. (I know how some readers have POV shifts.) I also have some flashbacks that were confusing to the Beta. I need to fix those too! So, today, besides my day job, I need to think clearly and jump at my tasks with enthusiasm, not dread.
My conclusion .... being a writer is very difficult. Getting off the ground is very difficult. Not getting discouraged is very difficult. Why do I do it? I guess I like to torture myself. Is a masochist the one who gets off from pain? Maybe that's me.
This is WHY I write unpopular stuff.
This video I tragic but how many people blow it off and don't care? OR don't even know this happens because that are all closed up in their safe little homes.
(trying to embed video here but it doesn't work. Click the Tom and Shane link to view video on You Tube.
This tragic story of Tom and Shane is out there. THIS REALLY HAPPENS. Shane even says he has to post this so others will know about it and think about it incase the unthinkable happens in their lives. We are not in a free culture. America seems free because we DO have more freedoms than so many other countries. We do! For the most part, people are not jailed and tortured as easily HERE as they are in other countries for being gay. Being gay in America is not a crime punishable by death. (Although, I bet there are people who think it should be.) There are many places in the US of A that are NOT "gay friendly" and do not welcome same sex couples. We all know this! Don't we? Or maybe you don't think about it at all?
In m/m romance for the most part (the genre I fell into) the same sex couples have fairy tale lives. They are cowboys, or vampires, or shapeshifters and they have a lot of sex. They fall in love. They defy someone here and there, or some opposition and beat the odds and live happily ever after. And oddly enough, they probably have a brother that is gay, ad a cousin, and a neighbor, so that every book written that follows has the same setting etc... It's all happy. Yes, there maybe gay-bashing but it is small and gotten over quickly.
Have I written the stereotypical novel based on that. Yes. I guess I have to some extent. Darian is not a shapeshifter, and jamie isn't a cowboy, but Matt IS a firefighter. And then there is my newest one... My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! This novel will definitely be more widely accepted. It is funny. It HAS an HAE. It has romance and angst and memorable characters. People will love it. Blockbuster? Probably not. It is MY book after all and I am not that lucky. But, as it is MY book, I do have controversial stuff included. One chapter is called "Hate Crimes" for a reason. (You will have to read it to know what hate crimes I write about). I Did not set out to write "popularity". I just sat down with a scene in my head of a camping trip and I went on from there. (The camping trip is chapter 6. "Rainy andWhet Wet" It is so funny. -in my opinion.) Did I KNOW comedy was going to come out? No. Not right away. I don't really think a head that much. I get an idea and I run with it. I had a name "Cole" and then I thought of an opening line "Someone told me I’m a cynical fatalist but I prefer the term realist." From there on it seemed like I needed to write fun and upbeat. It FIT Cole. AND it was a refreshing change from writing DARK.
Darian and Matt (and Jamie for that matter) are hard and painful to write sometimes. BUT, I write pain because I think that is what people need to hear. I write reality because it is, um, REAL. Things like this happen! And for all those people out there who go through pain, tragedy, and losing a loved one, (Like Shane in the video I linked) I want to tell then YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Because it is easy to think, "I'm the only one who feels like this." It is easy to give into the lie, "No one feels this pain like I do." TRUE, no one knows your pain as intimately as you, BUT there ARE other who feel pain. Life is not pretty. If we carry our pain alone it is heavy and overwhelming and crippling. There are support groups for "losing children", and "losing spouses" etc... But where are the support groups for "I just lost my same-sex partner of ten years"? Same sex couple marriage is not recognized in most states. And even if it IS recognized in some states I do not think it is recognized FEDERALLY . (feel free to comment and correct me if I am wrong.)
I WANT to write about characters like this. Like the people who really exist and really live in fear and pain and tragedy. But where do I submit this theme? I don't know. As we have already seen, TCOL was rejected twice. (and submitted again, but I seriously think it will not fly there either.) So where do I turn? >>Here is where comments come in! Feel free to post publishers you have heard of that DO NOT typically publish the "popular" stuff. I need to know. Real life, angsty pain, autobiographies, hate crimes, true life struggles, because not not every gay man is a cowboy. Not all gay couples have a HEA. But I do admit I like the gay couples who have a lot of sex. It gives me hope. (I like to dream.)
Do I have a story like Tom and Shane's in me to tell? I don't know. But if I DO, I'd like to know where to send it to be published. Any thoughts?
Tell me what you think. I like reading comments!
xoxo
Wade
(trying to embed video here but it doesn't work. Click the Tom and Shane link to view video on You Tube.
This tragic story of Tom and Shane is out there. THIS REALLY HAPPENS. Shane even says he has to post this so others will know about it and think about it incase the unthinkable happens in their lives. We are not in a free culture. America seems free because we DO have more freedoms than so many other countries. We do! For the most part, people are not jailed and tortured as easily HERE as they are in other countries for being gay. Being gay in America is not a crime punishable by death. (Although, I bet there are people who think it should be.) There are many places in the US of A that are NOT "gay friendly" and do not welcome same sex couples. We all know this! Don't we? Or maybe you don't think about it at all?
In m/m romance for the most part (the genre I fell into) the same sex couples have fairy tale lives. They are cowboys, or vampires, or shapeshifters and they have a lot of sex. They fall in love. They defy someone here and there, or some opposition and beat the odds and live happily ever after. And oddly enough, they probably have a brother that is gay, ad a cousin, and a neighbor, so that every book written that follows has the same setting etc... It's all happy. Yes, there maybe gay-bashing but it is small and gotten over quickly.
Have I written the stereotypical novel based on that. Yes. I guess I have to some extent. Darian is not a shapeshifter, and jamie isn't a cowboy, but Matt IS a firefighter. And then there is my newest one... My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! This novel will definitely be more widely accepted. It is funny. It HAS an HAE. It has romance and angst and memorable characters. People will love it. Blockbuster? Probably not. It is MY book after all and I am not that lucky. But, as it is MY book, I do have controversial stuff included. One chapter is called "Hate Crimes" for a reason. (You will have to read it to know what hate crimes I write about). I Did not set out to write "popularity". I just sat down with a scene in my head of a camping trip and I went on from there. (The camping trip is chapter 6. "Rainy and
Darian and Matt (and Jamie for that matter) are hard and painful to write sometimes. BUT, I write pain because I think that is what people need to hear. I write reality because it is, um, REAL. Things like this happen! And for all those people out there who go through pain, tragedy, and losing a loved one, (Like Shane in the video I linked) I want to tell then YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Because it is easy to think, "I'm the only one who feels like this." It is easy to give into the lie, "No one feels this pain like I do." TRUE, no one knows your pain as intimately as you, BUT there ARE other who feel pain. Life is not pretty. If we carry our pain alone it is heavy and overwhelming and crippling. There are support groups for "losing children", and "losing spouses" etc... But where are the support groups for "I just lost my same-sex partner of ten years"? Same sex couple marriage is not recognized in most states. And even if it IS recognized in some states I do not think it is recognized FEDERALLY . (feel free to comment and correct me if I am wrong.)
I WANT to write about characters like this. Like the people who really exist and really live in fear and pain and tragedy. But where do I submit this theme? I don't know. As we have already seen, TCOL was rejected twice. (and submitted again, but I seriously think it will not fly there either.) So where do I turn? >>Here is where comments come in! Feel free to post publishers you have heard of that DO NOT typically publish the "popular" stuff. I need to know. Real life, angsty pain, autobiographies, hate crimes, true life struggles, because not not every gay man is a cowboy. Not all gay couples have a HEA. But I do admit I like the gay couples who have a lot of sex. It gives me hope. (I like to dream.)
Do I have a story like Tom and Shane's in me to tell? I don't know. But if I DO, I'd like to know where to send it to be published. Any thoughts?
Tell me what you think. I like reading comments!
xoxo
Wade
