Famous Last Words

YOU PROBABLY RECALL many firsts: Your first car, your first kiss, maybe even the first stock you purchased.

Firsts are exciting. Firsts are easy to demark. You���ve never purchased an item before, so���when you do purchase it���it���s a first. By contrast, lasts sneak up on you. There���s always a chance that you���ll replace an item one more time.

My wife has caused me to start thinking about my lasts.

This winter, my 36-year-old winter mittens finally wore out. In fairness, it was the outer mitten that wore out. I���d earlier replaced the wool liners three times. When I went looking for a new pair, I was startled by the $80 price tag. My wife said, ���Don���t worry about the cost. This will be the last pair you���ll ever buy.���

That shocked me. But realistically, in 36 years, I���ll be replacing this pair of mittens when I���m age 98. Assuming that I���m still around, I���m less likely to be doing winter camping or walking the dog in the dead of winter, so she���s probably correct. This will be my last pair of mittens.

Our 26-year-old CRT television finally wore out. The replacement TV I purchase may be the last TV I���ll ever buy. If a new one lasts as long as my old one, I���ll be age 88 when it���s time to get a replacement. True, the odds are a bit better that I���ll need a new TV than a new pair of mittens���but not much. It can be a bit depressing to count down your life by the list of things that you���ll never need to purchase again.

Still, I disagree with my wife on one item. She has said that our current dog will be my last dog. I���m only willing to concede that he will be the last dog I get while married to my first wife.

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