My Proxy Wars
For the few who haven���t read my fascinating earlier article, I will share my heuristic for voting proxies: ���yes��� to independent chairmen, ���no��� to classified boards, ���no��� to options, and then ���yes��� or ���no��� to whatever piques my interest.
I���ll usually spend 10 minutes max thoroughly reviewing the issues for the first proxy I receive in the new year. I���ll spend about one minute for the last one I receive���with a logarithmic��decrease in between.
Well, after voting my Equity Residential (symbol: EQR) proxy back on May 3, I thought my yearly work was done. That meant I could begin a well-deserved rest until next year���s onslaught begins. I could use my newfound free time to work on a miniaturized model of the New York Stock Exchange trading floor.
Unfortunately, the TD email interrupted my reverie. I was quite tempted to delete it. But then I just had to find the answer to the same three questions that you must be asking yourself right now: What the hell is Kyndryl (KD)? What the hell does it do? And what���s with the name?
I also wanted to know how I came to own a stock with such a ridiculous-sounding name. Years ago, I bought shares in a company with an equally ridiculous-sounding name���Enron���and there���s no way I would make that mistake again. That said, Enron did sound better than its next name: Enron Creditors Recovery Corp.
I was hoping that after clicking on the annual report and reading ���A Message from Our Chairman and Chief Executive Officer������so much for the independent chairman���I could quickly get answers to my questions. No such luck.
All I learned was ���Kyndryl has solidified its place in a broader market��� delivering on our overarching mission to modernize and manage the world���s mission-critical systems and services���the ���hearts and lungs������of the most important enterprises around the world.��� It also said all this was ���leaning into Kyndryl's advanced delivery advantage.���
The ���hearts and lungs��� talk made me think Kyndryl might be a medical company. The ���mission-critical��� and ���delivery advantage��� might mean some sort of defense company. The ���services��� part��� well, that might mean just about anything.
I then did what I should have done in the first place, and went to Wikipedia. It was there that I discovered that ���Kyndryl Holdings, Inc.��is an American multinational information technology infrastructure services provider that designs, builds, manages and develops large-scale information systems.���
Okay, I thought, that���s more than I knew before. But I still wasn���t sure what that all meant. I could have researched it further, but I was beginning to lose interest���and coming up on the 10-minute deadline.
I did summon enough resolve to continue reading and I���m glad I did. It was then I learned the company was created from the spinoff of��IBM's infrastructure services business. It was given the name Kyndryl in April 2021, with "Kyn" referencing "kinship" and "Dryl" referencing "tendril."
So, I thought, ���the name is a��� pun? And not just one, but two?��� Did they append the word ���Holdings��� to make it all sound more like a real company and less like a pharmaceutical used to treat��hair loss in extended families?
It all seemed so absurd that I immediately decided to sell my shares. I thought better of it when I realized this would require me to log onto my online brokerage account, with the distinct possibility of glimpsing the total value of all my holdings.
Instead, I went ahead and voted my proxy. I voted against all the board members as the board is classified. I voted against the compensation plan because it includes options. Finally, I voted against the appointment of PricewaterhouseCoopers as auditor because, well, by then I was just feeling obstinate.
Kyndryl Schmyndryl.
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