Book review for F*ck Feelings: One Shrink’s Practical Advice for Managing All Life’s Impossible Problems by Michael Bennett
Synopsis: Sometimes no amount of positive thinking can improve a bad hand or defy gravity. We’re faced with the world as it is rather than exactly as we’d like it to be. Rather than denying this, we’d be much better off if we accepted our limitations and worked with them. Then we’ll avoid more disappointments and make real, tangible improvements. Move on from disappointment with an achievable success.
This book uses some ‘clear-eyed’ realism for us to survive in the big bad world. While most of us reach to self-help books to solve many of our problems, what if there aren’t any perfect, tidy answers that a shelf full of self-improvement books can solve? Sometimes we may have limitations or psychological conditions that are too impossible to solve. Sometimes our colleagues are idiots, our kids are brats, and our relationships are tricky. Well, this book states that we can avoid disappointment over the unchangeability of those problems if we focus on what we can change.
Well, to me this book is grim. I think everyone knows that self-esteem can only take us so far and that we need to value ourselves by our own standards. I disagree that we need to be prepared for and unfair and dangerous world because that just heightens our anxiety. It goes on to say that when we help others, we may cause unintended harm if we don’t think it through. I believe in being a good Samaritan. And while I agree that while looking for love a practical outweighs impulsivity, sometimes we just get caught up in the moment when we meet the love of our life. Finding love can be a little of both.
I also agree that sometimes no matter how much you talk, things may not work out as you’d hoped but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Calming down about parenthood is also good advice. I’m torn on whether or not the fact is that there are just some people in this world that will be jerks no matter what we do because I like to think toward the belief that there are positive traits in everyone but then again, we’ve all seen politicians, leaders, and celebrities who don’t seem to have any sort of altruistic nature and instead are egocentric, arrogant, and ignorant no matter what the scenario.
All in all, I didn’t like the pessimistic viewpoints because, according to this book, I should’ve realized my mental illness limitations and given up on trying diligently long ago. That nearly brings tears to my eyes. Even though there are charlatans in the self-help industry, I’d instead follow them with hope than this pessimism with fear. This book left me agitated and depressed. If you want to read it thoroughly, get it here.
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