When the Boss Is a Bully
Does your boss micromanage your work? What about one who asks if your college gave away degrees? Do you have a boss who goes out of her way to make you miserable? Unfortunately, everyone who has the title of supervisor or manager is not a leader. Teddy Roosevelt said that, “A leader leads, and the boss drives.” Sometimes supervisors and managers harass the individuals they should be leading and inspiring.
If you are in this predicament, you are not alone. Here are some tips for handling a boss who is a bully:
1. Establish boundaries. You can meet with the boss and ask her to stop the behavior. Here’s a script. “Kate, when you get very close to me and raise your voice, it makes me uncomfortable. Would you mind keeping a reasonable distance and lowering your voice?” You can also respectfully remove yourself from the room when the boss violates your physical and emotional boundaries.
2. Try to stay under the radar. Does the boss get bent out of shape when people are late for meetings? Does she go on the warpath when her team does not look good? Notice the patterns. Do what you can to avoid the words and behaviors that seem to increase the bullying.
3. Avoid workplace gossip. Although it may help you feel better to compare notes with others, these discussions often get off topic and become personal, petty attacks on the person as opposed to addressing the workplace bullying.
4. Get counseling through your health insurance or your Employee Assistance Program. Discussing the issues with someone who is neutral will help you cope with the day-to-day problems and help you develop a strategy for addressing the situation.
5. Consider your options. Should you contact human resources, leave the company or take legal action? The Workplace Bullying Institute at www.workplacebullying.org is an excellent place to start for information about this problem and possible solutions.
If you do nothing, the bullying will not stop, and it could get worse. Now you know that you’re not the only one enduring this behavior, and now you know that you have options.
