How to Win When You Lose

Did you know that you can benefit from a bad experience? I’ll tell you how.

Have you ever kept a compost bucket in your kitchen? You place egg shells, coffee grounds, tea bags, and other kitchen waste into a container with a lid that fits tightly. Compost is slimy, smelly and messy. But when you mix it together and give it a few days in that dark container, it becomes a rich fertilizer for your garden. However, if you were to simply toss those egg shells, coffee grounds and tea bags in the trash, they would be nothing more than waste. By composting, you give your rubbish an opportunity to nourish another living thing.

If you treat a mistake like the ingredients in a compost bucket, you can mix it with other experiences and reap a nutrient rich opportunity for learning and improving. In fertile soil, you can plant new seed and reap a harvest from the original mistake and other experiences. You can really benefit from a mistake. Here’s how to win when you lose.

1. Admit that you failed. Whether it was a relationship, a bad business decision or overspending. To admit that you failed is to focus on what you did, not on what someone did to you.

2. Revisit the signs that you were headed in the wrong direction. Did a friend or loved one warn you? Did you have a funny feeling in your gut?

3. Decide what you will do differently the next time. This situation or something similar will happen again. What will you do differently?

4. Determine what you learned. Did you learn that you have a weakness for a certain type of person? Did you learn that you’re afraid to say no?

5. Forgive yourself. No one gets through life without making serious mistakes.

6. Use your mistake to help someone else. Who in your sphere of influence could benefit from what you’ve learned? You don’t have to share all the details, but you can help someone else avoid the mistake that you made.

7. Acknowledge that if you repeat the same “mistake” over and over again, it’s not a mistake, it’s a decision. If you don’t like the decisions you keep making, consider working with a therapist, confiding in a friend or hiring a mentor or coach.

What is the most important lesson you’ve learned from a mistake?