And They Lived Unhappily Ever After
I need to preface this blog post. I don’t want to be known as the “Single Man Blogger” but tonight I met with someone for the first time and she said, “God is telling me you should blog about being single and happy, because you seem really happy and there are a lot of people out there who need to hear it.” Am I that transparent that after an hour of talking about writing books she said that? So, here I go.
Life is not a fairy tale. I think we all know that sad realization. Yet, as children that is what we believed from the movies we watched or the stories we read. We were somewhat brainwashed to believe that life should be a fairy tale. We grow up thinking that a street rat could be loved by a beautiful princess or a damsel could be rescued by her knight in shining armor. It’s a lovely idea, but not all ideas are believable or even feasible. If Aladdin and Jasmine were living in the year 2019, would they still be married after five years? Would Ariel and Eric still be walking hand in hand along the beach in the age of social media? Would Pongo and Perdita still be happy after raising 101 children? I sometimes think if the statistics are right about divorce, which Disney relationships would have stopped feeling the love tonight?
I think fairy tales get a bad rap, because life should be a fairy tale. Life is so good. Sadly, we are the culprits and we are not always good. I have seen marriages that have stood the test of time. They are the marriages that seem to radiate love and companionship. When I see the loving couples, they still seem like they like one another, let alone love each other after being together for half their life. These couples in my mind are living the good life of a blissful marriage. I know every relationship has their ups and downs, but just like in fairy tales, they got through them. They got stronger. It’s as if their vows were echoing around them, “For better and for worse.”
So why are so many relationships not like fairy tales? I think a major part is contentment. We live in a society that whenever the latest gadget comes out, we toss out our old, reliable, working gizmo for the new, trendy, sleek device. We live in the entertainment age that instead of having seven channels, we have 700. We could watch channel 4, but I wonder what is on channel 579 right now? How many relationships have ended because one party just wanted to see what someone else had over there? We tiptoe our fingers through magazines to find out what the latest fashionable threads are and throw away our favorite dress from three years ago because it is worn out by society standards. If your dress of three years is worn out in your eyes, how will your relationship of ten years hold up through the aging sands of time? I bet there are going to be more wrinkles on each of your faces that no iron could press out. Will you want to toss away that too?
Yes, I believe contentment is our issue. I remember sitting in one of my professor’s office in college and he was saying, “When you get out of school you will be making so much money when you become a CPA.” I looked at him and said, “That doesn’t interest me.” His face turned downcast by me not being interested in making boat loads of money. He looked at me as if I just ran over his dog. Yes, I have always been a strange one in this area. I have always just wanted to make enough to be happy. One of my favorite verses is 1 Timothy 6:6, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” I remember as a kid looking at the price tags when I went back to school shopping. And my sisters relished in buying me a name brand shirt at Christmas because they knew that since they bought it I would wear it, but I would never buy it for myself. Today, I still wrestle with the notion of contentment and where is the line between over indulgence and being satisfied? I know I am not perfect in this area. I am fully aware that I have some blind spots that my friends could point out to me in my area of contentment.
But overall in life, I am blissfully happy. I am content with what I have and I am fine with what I lack because when I am content, I feel like I lack nothing. Sadly, I feel that is why life is not a fairy tale for a majority of the world because so many people are not content. They see what their brother has and envy is birthed. They glance over at their neighbor and jealousy grows into a toddler. They Facebook stalk their former friends and malice runs with the legs of an eight year old. They get so overcome with envy that they forget what they once had. They lose their youthful romance. They allow their pure intimacy to tarnish and rust through the storms they seek and find. They abandon their once treasured scrapbook of photographs and memories and walk away from their former self like it’s nothing. It’s sad to see this happen. It’s even sadder that we see it and find ourselves rummaging through their pain like it’s a rummage sale.
If you ask someone if they are living happily ever after, what do you think they will say? Instead of asking someone, maybe you should ask yourself. Are you living happily ever after?
Because I am.
If you’re not living the good life that God had planned for you, take heart, a change can happen. God is capable to mend relationships, bridge gaps, erase divides, and fill in the holes that we sometimes have purposely dug. God is bigger than any situation. But if you allow God into your relationship, He doesn’t play second fiddle. He will not smooth out each of your rough parts if you don’t give Him all your rough parts. God doesn’t barter and He doesn’t beg. He is rightly jealous and deservedly so . He doesn’t compromise His grace to bring it down to our lower standards. No, His grace is limitless and I am so thankful for His unrelenting outpouring of love. So, if you want to live happily ever after it will take some work. It may feel like a punishment, but the reward will be sweeter than honey.
So, do you want to live happily ever after or are you fine living in mediocrity?
I want my last line to always be, “And he lived happily ever after – married or single.”
What is the last line of your story?
