How to Walk Away from ‘Should’

Lately I’ve been pondering how important our thinking process is to our mental and physical well-being. I’ll share a personal example to show you what I mean.

This afternoon, I have a choice. I can sit dutifully at my desk until 5 and work on learning how to use my new screenflow software. Or … I can finish this blog up, ditch that project, and head off into nature.

Apparently when I get up to Redwood Park for a walk with my wife and our dog, my tendency to ‘ruminate’ (i.e. think negatively or fret about my past, or my life, or my business … or whatever) will decrease significantly, according to neuroscientists.

The activity in the part of my brain associated with anxiety and depression will stop. All just because I’m taking a stroll in the park.

Researchers have found that walking in nature, versus in a city, dramatically decreases this kind of negative thinking, while it increases creativity.

On the other hand, if I stay at my desk and crank along on the screenflow training, one more item gets ticked off the list. At the end of which I’ll be REALLY ready for that nice cold Friday Night glass of Sauvignon Blanc. Because by then I’ll be tired.

Too tired.

I’ll be looking for ways to relieve the now present stress and pain of overwork … instead of feeling fresh and revived by a wonderful afternoon among the redwoods.

So I choose either a remedy … or I choose a preventative move towards well-being.

In the end, I choose well-being, because here’s the thing. After a bunch of good, healing weekend R&R, I’m probably going to be totally into learning the rest of that training.

Which I’ll do more efficiently and more happily with fresher, livelier brains. The only thing stopping me is my ability to step away from the ‘shoulding’ and the shame, and give myself what I need in the moment.

For me, right now, that means taking a walk. And getting over my habitual tendency to overwork. In the past, that behavior was rooted in a need to prove myself – to be everything to everyone by accomplishing things.

And yet, turns out I’m only one person and imperfect at that.

When my daughter died, all that unnecessary ambition and striving died right along with her. Suddenly I landed soundly on my ass in the land of crisis. I had to spend a lot of time slowly calming down, and then grieving, and then slowly reinventing my life.

As a result, things are in balance now. And it is MUCH much easier to walk away from, say, screenflow training.

When you finally are at a place where you can listen to yourself, hear your needs and respond to them, you can begin to cycle back to a place of balance. Of alignment. This is really the crux of good self-care.

But all too often we lose ourselves in perpetual stimulation, from business to the ever present phones in our hands.

Why not take a look and see if there’s something you’d rather let go of, instead of pushing yourself to do against all odds?

Are you listening to the phantom voices of past experience, or the wise voice of Now, Present and You. She’s always there and she always has something to say.

You just need to tune in and listen.

May you walk away from work at just the right time, or whatever has used enough of your energy.

Then … why not? Go enjoy yourself!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you’d like some encouragement with your own self-care, consider joining our Self-Care Group for Extremely Busy Women on Facebook. There are nearly 2000 of us now, encouraging each other, sharing ideas, and keeping self-care top of mind.

 

You can join us by requesting an invite. We’ll send it right away.

 

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I’m so glad you’re here!

 

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