Reviewing the reviewers 2: Rise of the Edge-Lords.

Edge-Lord – A person that vociferously offers a contrary opinion to that which is held as popular belief in the misapprehension it makes them appear knowledgeable. Often appears in discussions on popular media properties such as films, TV and videogames.

I thought it was worth putting a description for those unfamiliar with the term. The name comes from how the antagonist feels that they are somehow ‘edgy’ for going against the grain despite being absent of any critical thought. They usually simply say things like ‘that was shit’ or ‘the book was better’. Generic terms that don’t require any kind of back up whatsoever. With that in mind, lets delve into the second instalment of Reviewing the Reviewers. I need to stress, there WILL be spoilers for Infinity War. Not major ones, but these jokers warrant a little explanation.

I was excited for Infinity War. It had been ten years in the making and represented not only a great piece of popcorn entertainment, but cinematic history. Marvel’s achievement has been attempted elsewhere, to nowhere near the same degree of success. I was enthralled throughout but will say that it wouldn’t be as good without the build up preceding it. If a person had never seen an MCU film, then they would likely be flummoxed by this instalment. That was by design, the directors expect the audience to be familiar with the characters beforehand, so it works fully in that regard.

But the Edge- Lords are gathering. Let’s see what the first one has to say on IMDB shall we?

Unless you’re a huge fan of this genre of movie, or of the Avengers, I’d strongly recommend skipping this movie. A friend and I went to see it, and left the theater half way through because we were so bored. Although the special effects are good, there really isn’t any plot to speak of. For comparison, Black Panther was a much better movie

Straight away, we see an example of the ill-informed. If you leave a film halfway through, how can you criticise the plot? Lets me sum it up for you, as you are clearly a dullard; Thanos is a bad guy that wants to seriously mess shit up for everyone, the heroes need to band together to fight him. It’s a superhero film, what did you expect? Aronofsky? This person’s score? 1/10 On to the next…

I wasn’t expecting much going in. I figured it would be all action, since there are so many characters. But I at least thought some of the action would be entertaining. But it wasn’t. Not one action scene was any good. Thor Ragnarok was a masterpiece compared to this. This movie was truly dreadful. My girlfriend, who normally likes any superhero movie that’s action-packed, even though this movie stunk. Many boring scenes of talking….all about nonsense. Because when every single character can do absolutely anything….when every character has powers that are limitless….like for instance, let’s go to outer-space, let’s teleport, let’s shoot a rope that curves 20 times and wraps around our opponent….when anyone can do anything….the result is total boredom after a short while. The 9.0/10 rating here is Fake News, I guarantee you that. Statistically impossible….especially for such a bad movie. I was sooo bored.

The prime example of an Edge-Lord. ‘I wasn’t expecting much going in’. Translated, this means ‘I am going to shit on this movie SO hard as everyone is bound to like it’. Bonus points for having a sly dig at Thor Ragnarok too, another films critics and fans alike enjoyed. I’m confused by their analysis of action scenes. Apparently limitless possibilities aren’t enough for our friend here, they want more. Rounding it up with use of the term ‘fake news’ which firmly cements their status as a moron. Again, they gave 1/10. But at least they stayed until the end.

Sorry…walked out feels my like I had just seen a DC movie. Depressed and forlorn.

Another 1/10. Initially, I assumed they had walked out halfway through again, but I gathered they referred to their feelings afterwards. Imagine a movie having a lasting emotional impact? Or being a representation of ‘things are always darkest before dawn’? Allow me to differentiate for you – DC films are depressing because they are excreted out by committee and prove how studio interference ruins an otherwise entertaining property. Caring about the fates of the characters means the film has succeeded. Gah! I’m getting riled.

….he will win 100% Oscar for the worst scenario and for the worst director

I haven’t trimmed this review down in any way. This was it. The ‘He’ this person refers to is actually two people. It was directed by the Russo brothers. A fact that is clearly stated at the top of the page on the site you left you dribble on. Only in negative Edge-Lord world do those Oscar categories exist. Do people win percentages of Oscars there?

The visualization is really impressive. But the story sucks. Marvel is ruining the reputation by putting all the superheroes together without a whole story.

Positive comments not reflected in the 1/10 score. This ‘reviewer’ has clearly missed the 8 years of marketing stating this movie to be part one of two. And they are also wrong. It tells a full story, the consequences of which are a separate tale. This movie is about Thanos. Erghh. I feel unclean. One more and I’m off to punch a pillow.

This movie was litterly the same as the avengers and civil war. Nothing new here except that the hype is getting stronger??? By rules of nature hype must die down over time but marvel fanboys want more bad movies? Disney’s board of director’s and their shareholders are laughing their ass off. They acquire the rights of a universe with some superheroes en then they release 5 superhero movies a year that are complete and utter trash but its fanbase will love it no matter wat. now a cgi war movie (were we all now how of how it will end, it doesn’t becouse Disney will keep spitting out these movies until marvel fanboys stop going to these trash movies.) Is considerd better than movies like Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, forrest gump and Leon??? Well if this is the case than i will leave this site and never come back becouse i use this site to see if a movie is worth seeing. But if a crap movie like this is considerd to be as good as THE GODFATHER!!! then i can no longer trust this site and will de-recommend it to everyone that wants to use it for the same purpose as i did.

In case it isn’t clear, the grammatical errors are left intact. We all make typos, but as I type this on Word, those horrible red lines are everywhere in this one. If you don’t know how to spell ‘literally’, then don’t use the word. Especially when it doesn’t apply. Apparently, the Marvel board of directors and shareholders all share a collective arse. Just to correct this simpleton, at no point have Marvel released five superhero films in one year. There has been four on a couple of occasions, but all of the rest are from different studios, admittedly a lot, but success breeds people riding on coat tails. Before I get on to the last point, I need to point out something that made me laugh out loud. Whilst listing what they see as ‘classic’ films, they refer to Forrest Gump, which whilst entertaining, negates their entire point about Infinity War standing shoulder to shoulder with the Godfather.

That last point is one that does make me think. With ratings and sites such as IMDB aggregating scores, do people genuinely take them at face value? I enjoyed Infinity War but would be the first to admit that as a film, it pales in comparison to the Godfather. It’s better than Forrest Gump though. Whilst opinions are subjective, there is an objective standard by which you can look at some properties. You could have the best script in the world, but if the camera was out of focus the entire way through, it would be a bad movie. Do people seriously consider that 9/10 average scores mean that the films have an equal measure of cinematography, direction, writing and acting? I hope not. My personal take on it is if a film achieves what it intended to achieve based on the audience it is aiming at. The Godfather was by design, a melodrama set within the Sicilian mafia and was not aimed at being a blockbuster summer action piece. It was successful. Infinity War however, was not attempting to be anything other than what it was, a popcorn epic. It, too, succeeded.

Hope you enjoyed this instalment, I will revisit the format again in the future. At least when I’ve calmed down enough to consider looking at user reviews again.