Ants Ambridge's Blog

Nostalgia for Gaming.

Speeding around Vice City on a motorbike with Slayer blasting out.

Gaming, as a young child, was a noisy area in a café. Machines beeping with the promise of defending the Earth against increasingly rapid columns of aliens. Of pill-gannets chasing ghosts through a never-ending maze to a repetitive series of bleeps and bloops. Like your mum in the 90s. They were the reserve of smoky arcades on seafronts, requiring disposable income, that as a six-year-old, I did not have. In short, a seldom enjoyed treat.

The Spectrum 48K

My parents spoiled me on Christmas, days before my seventh birthday. I opened a box, containing a Spectrum 48k home computer with rubber keys and a separate tape deck. Bundled with the computer were boxes filled with C90 tapes, each one containing fifteen-twenty games, as well as a further box overflowing with originals too. My parents, to this day, still talk about how rotten they felt buying a second-hand machine as a gift. I constantly reassure them that to me, it was perfect. Getting close to five-hundred games was far more important to me than the recency of the hardware.

And so began an interest. I made it my mission to play through every single game in that box. Some I liked, some I didn’t. Progress was slow, due largely to the five minute screech of the loading screens before each game that I could imagine being used today as a torture method in Guantanamo Bay. But I persevered, occasionally spending a few hours on each one. It took four years before I’d actually played them all (or realised they would never load).

My trusty Spectrum saw me through my tweens and early teenage years, waning only when my brother was gifted a Sega Master System. I’d play games with him, infuriating him by completing Sonic first, and then by lying that I’d completed Alex Kidd in Miracle World. But college beckoned. And with that, girls, booze, and ennui. Consoles would take a back seat for a few years.

After a few drunken years, and a dose of pant crustaceans, gaming caught my attention once more with the release of the Sony PlayStation. Games such as Mortal Kombat Trilogy, Ridge Racer, Battle Arena Toshinden, Wipeout, and Tekken all re-engaged me, but it was the release of one game that really got my attention: Resident Evil.

The Spencer Mansion from Resident Evil remake

For those unaware, Resident Evil is a survival horror game set primarily in a mansion during a zombie outbreak. Players have to juggle limited inventory space, limited ammo, and more enemies than you have bullets to deal with. It was a blend of puzzle solving, and horror movie staples that made me realise that gaming had been maturing with me. This was a game for adults. It had a B-movie quality to it, helped by the horrendous voice acting and poorly translated (or written) dialogue. And a genuine jump scare, the likes of which I had never experienced in the video game world.

Suddenly, gaming was a part of my life again, much to the chagrin of my wife. With one TV in the house, it meant she would have to endure those gaming sessions if she were home at the same time. After the divorce, came the game that caused my interest to blossom into a passion – Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

Having played, and thoroughly enjoyed, the previous GTA3, I knew I was going to enjoy this game too. Mere moments in, I tuned a stolen car radio into VRock, being a metalhead and all, Anthrax – Madhouse was playing, which put a big smile on my face. Then, immediately afterwards, Slayer – Reign in Blood. The car reached maximum speed – I was more pumped than the most simple-minded American when they hear the letters ‘U’,’S’, and ‘A’ spoken in succession. The car didn’t survive this; the wall I ploughed into put pay to that. My character sprinted after a slow-moving vehicle. I needed to hear more.

I didn’t play the game for a good few hours. I was, on the game, but simply stealing cars, listening to the radio and causing mayhem. It was as if the game was made with only me in mind. To this day, I don’t think there has been a soundtrack to top this one. It captured the era perfectly, and did so without resorting to the biggest hits of the time. This was a compilation crafted with care and deep knowledge of the time period. And it was banger after banger, not just on VRock, but on Wave 103, Wildstyle, Fever 105, and Emotion 98.3. It was on the latter, that I decided to do something romantic for my new girlfriend; I parked my in-game car on a verdant bluff and tuned the radio into 98.3 as the sun set over a fictional version of Miami. She didn’t think it was romantic at all. Perhaps it was the prostitute I’d picked up to simulate her presence.

After we broke up, I had far more time to play games and, fortunately at the time, the budget to buy them. I was devouring them at an exponential rate, playing the successes of the time, but also discovering the under-appreciated gems as they came too. The Suffering, Beyond Good and Evil, Okami, and Project Zero. It was truly a great time to be alive. And locked away in a room away from the world.

The corridor shortly after THAT jump-sce ne.

As with anything – I will never get those feelings again. I may play games far better than any I have listed. I definitely have – Elden Ring, for example, but the spark has gone. Gaming seems to have lost a lot of its single-player focus in favour of trying desperately to become a new money sink. There hasn’t been a new Grand Theft Auto game since 2013, (at the time of writing, GTA 6 is scheduled for later this year) and none of them have had a soundtrack as good as Vice City’s (Los Santos came close). But all around me, I see younger folk getting those same vibes about new games, and I’m all for it. Plus, I have a much-delayed Beyond Good and Evil sequel, a reboot of Okami, and Resident Evil 9 to look forward to.

Trickle-up economics

                I’m not the first to say this, but 2020 hasn’t been the best of years for anyone. And 2021 isn’t shaping up to be any better either. The long-term future seems very bleak and whilst there have been times of turmoil in the past, worse than now even, it has taken decades to recover from those things.

                To recover from this, and to have a better future, not only for ourselves, but future generations, a change needs to happen. Through my entire life, Neoliberalism has been the dominating economic force. It has remained when governments have changed. The lie that trickle-down economics works.

                In theory, the free market is a great idea. Offer good services and competitive prices, then you ‘win’ at capitalism. The reality, one that becomes painfully more obvious as time goes on, is that the only winners in a free-market economy are the richest. A corporation with more money and buying power offers goods at lower prices. With wage-growth being stagnant for a decade, consumers can’t afford the alternatives. Look to high street retail. How many independent businesses do you see? Even national chains can no longer compete because of Amazon. All the tax breaks in the world haven’t benefitted society in the ways it was suggested they would. Add to this, the corporate pursuit of unsustainable growth to please investors and you can see that these wealthy companies commit acts that are further a detriment to the average person.

                Money is finite. When an individual is obscenely wealthy, then that fortune is going nowhere. It is gained, and then taken out of the active economy. Gone forever, because the people that hoard it, won’t be spending it. There reaches a point in any person’s life, with money, that they have everything they both need and want.

                We have all seen these boom-and-bust periods over the years. A country goes into recession, starts to grow, and inevitably plunges into recession again. That isn’t a stable economy by any measure. What we need is one that, short of disaster, can keep ticking over.

                What this year has taught us, is that the low-wage workers that are always scorned and derided whenever the talk of raising the minimum wage comes up, are essential to the fabric of a country. Public transport workers, supermarket staff, takeaways, refuse collectors etc etc. Whilst some professions require greater levels of training, skills, and education and deserve to be compensated accordingly, it isn’t justified to expect those that we depend on to be living in poverty.

                I feel that the best way to tackle these problems is to flip it on its axis. Trickle-up economics. The vast majority of the population are its primary spenders. If they have disposable income (not just enough to buy food, pay rent, pay bills) then that generates more revenue for those businesses, which ultimately gives them more income. It also offers the consumer genuine choice. With the ability to pay a little more if the service is good, many will choose that option. Businesses can compete in other ways as opposed to price. Over time, this makes the country that adopts it a lot more of a desirable nation to trade with (in recent years, this is something the UK desperately needs).

                Raising the minimum wage is one approach. But as if often, rightly pointed out, businesses will increase prices to pay for that, whether they need to or not, because they can get away with it. And that doesn’t address the issue of those not on minimum wage. All wages need to rise, otherwise, there is no incentive for people to strive to do better.

                On to the most contentious point. I will be straw-manning a little here, but it is based on common arguments against it, so I hope you will forgive me. Universal basic income. A payment, set higher than benefit limits to every person in the country. I suggest a monthly payment of £1000. Not a king’s ransom, but it benefits everybody the same way. It just means more to those at the bottom. It makes those 40 hour a week minimum wage jobs something that the staff can do for 20 hours per week and still be much better off. This also means that in some cases, one job can become two, something needed desperately in the age of automation that has started, but by no means finished.

But that means people won’t want to work!

Not at all. With the cost of living as it currently is, that amount is still at poverty level on its own. It needs a part time job to make it liveable, of which there would be more if adopted on a permanent basis. There are genuinely people out there that refuse to work. Currently. Those kinds of people will always exist. My proposal replaces existing unemployment/ sickness/ housing benefit schemes. It is important to remember, that whilst many can think of a person like that, they aren’t as common as you think.

Businesses will put their prices up anyway, to make more money.

Good point. To accompany something like this, other regulations need to be put in place. Sometimes, goods will go up in price according to scarcity or resources, so that would be an easily provable justification. Price-gouging needs to be financially penalised. It is also important to think of it this way. If a person can currently only afford 1 of item x on a monthly basis, if they can then afford and buy 2 of item x with a universal basic income, then that company will be making an increased profit anyway.

But the cost you fool! You haven’t thought about the cost! You fat idiot!

I saved this one for last. It is the most logical and common argument. But not an impossible hurdle to overcome. None of these things on their own could cover costs, they would all have to be implemented.

Firstly, £1000 per month is £12,000 per year. The current income tax threshold is £12,500 before people pay any tax. This means that everything earned, will be taxed immediately. Tax revenue through both PAYE and self-employed earnings would dramatically increase.An increased tax on the wealthy. I’m not talking about £40k per year, I’m talking over £100, 000 to begin with of say 45%. Increasing to a 90% tax on yearly earnings over 1 million. Perhaps a way to disincentivise huge, unearned bonuses. With the staff no longer needed at the DWP, (excluding disability benefits), they can be transferred to the Inland Revenue to cope with the extra work.  Which leads to…Increased vigilance and punishment for tax avoidance/fraud. Netflix made £940,000,000 last year from the UK alone. They paid £3.4 million in tax. Less in percentage than a minimum wage worker. ( But businesses will stop trading in the UK if we tax them too heavily) No, they won’t. If the business is making that much money from the UK, they won’t want to leave the rest of it behind to avoid paying what they owe.Partial denuclearisation. The trident missile programme costs billions. And whilst, ideologically speaking, I’m all for full denuclearisation globally, we aren’t there yet realistically. But the point of them is as a deterrent. We can do that with half, or even a third taken out.Public ownership of utilities. These companies make profits. They provide essential services and have increased costs over the rate of inflation for the people in the country. They can be run at a profit, but without the need for bonuses, dividends etc. That profit is better serving the countries needs than theirs. ( But the service was crap when we owned it before !) even if that were 100% true (there were peaks and roughs), then that doesn’t mean they can’t be managed effectively going forward.If all of that fails, a publicly-owned legalised (and taxed) marijuana industry should more than make up for it. ( But drugs are bad! Medical problems and the like!) Do those problems exist now? Yes, they do. Prohibition hasn’t worked. How many more years’ worth of evidence do you need?

I’m not an anti-capitalist. I like having things. I like games, blu-rays, games consoles, TVs and more. The neo-liberal form of capitalism isn’t working. The trickle-up theory isn’t socialism, its an attempt at compromise. To have the best of differing ideologies and to stamp out the negatives. Agree or disagree, but first ask yourself these questions; Has the way we’ve lived over the past 40 years benefitted everyone? You may be doing fine yourself, would this idea make your life worse?

Shouting Down Clouds, Brad Arliss and Johnny Utah.

Long time, neglected blog, promise to do better blah blah blah.

 

Saturday night, I went to a small gig put on by Fight the Cistern (so called because the toilets at the venue don’t flush: No solids!). Two bands played, Shouting Down Clouds and Johnny Utah. What made this special is that it was a throwback to days gone by. A DIY gig, not designed to make money, just to provide entertainment for a small group of people. Gigs like this still happen up and down the country but seem to be less prevalent these days. The venue was one of Grimsby’s better-known practice rooms, people took their own drinks.

It would be easy to assume that the bands would treat an event like this as a glorified practice session. This wasn’t the case, both bands delivered the same kind of show they would put on for much larger venues and crowds (I can attest, having seen them both at the annual Bargefest amongst other places). Shouting Down Clouds delivered their post-grunge set with the same blistering intensity one would expect. Alex Wheeler’s piercing vocals, reminiscent of early Silverchair, providing the perfect accompaniment to the stompy melodies throughout. Bassist, Jon North provided anguish filled backing vocals, and drummer, Marcus King pounded with exuberance, accompanied by his entertaining trademark gurning.

Johnny Utah guitarist, Brad Arliss, performed a brief acoustic set next. The highlight being a cover of May 16th by Lagwagon, a song that one wouldn’t expect lends itself to an unplugged performance, but after hearing it, I couldn’t imagine a world where it doesn’t exist. He then re-joined Johnny Utah, to hammer their way through their punk covers set, smiling faces all round, crowd joining in with singing along to some of their favourite songs.

What made this gig so special? It was £2, purely to cover the costs of hiring the room out. Whilst the bands weren’t all punk musically, the ethos certainly was. This was simply about having a good time with musicians from prior Grimsby staples such as Glo, Worthless, D-Pwa, Pinto, Not Tonight and the Headaches, Luna Suit and Kung Fu Joe (If I forgot to mention anyone’s band, I apologise, I’m working from memory). The venue’s walls are adorned with flyers from Grimsby gigs past and present – a reminder of what a bustling scene it once was. In this day and age, where the owner of Wetherspoons actively tries to destroy the local pub trade by undercutting them, yet offering nothing but hegemonic venues, then uses the profits to arrogantly push his political views through your letterbox, some of which laughably blame the EU for destroying ‘our country’s identity’. Its hard for struggling businesses to take any risks whatsoever now, so at least in our town, this has a dramatic impact on musicians. Growth stifled by only being able to play the same venues, with the same crowds.

It felt exciting, like being young again. For the first time in a very long time, I went out, not knowing what to expect. A tinge of anticipation that I hadn’t felt in years. After talking to others, it seemed I wasn’t alone. It was a great feeling to have and I hope that events like this will become more commonplace. A big thanks to Fight the Cistern and I look forward to the next one.

 

 

[image error]New book.

In other news, whilst I’ve been not writing my blog, I’ve been writing an anthology of horror shorts, along with the Socialist Network. It can be bought here for £1.99 digital or £5.99 paperback. It is also free for Kindle Unlimited users.

The Socialist Network – Sample chapter.

Even though I’m a long way from finishing this, I’m excited to get some of this out there, to both generate interest and feedback. It will be a departure from the previous books as I’m trying a few new things in this one. Hope you enjoy the opening chapter!

 

Chapter 1.

The future.

 

The shrill tone of an alarm pounded through Stephen Chowdry’s skull. Each successive ‘beep’ sounding more urgent than the last. Blearily, he reached for the phone from which it emanated, frowning as his fingers gained no purchase which forced him to sit upright to flick his finger across the screen to dismiss it. He leaned back into his pillows, he blinked to clear his vision to idly browse his phone before showering. His sloth proved short-lived when he noticed with excitement a message stating a delivery awaited him outside. It had finally arrived!

He dressed as swiftly as he could and bounded down the stairs with the enthusiasm of a child. Stephen fumbled with his keys, unlocking both back doors, kitchen and porch, to enter the back garden. A delivery drone hovered patiently, camera fixed on the wall until it registered his presence. A soothing, yet firm voice blared from the tiny speakers contained within the unit.

Please stand still as we verify your identity. Thank you for ordering from Valkree.

The drone faced him, camera pointed at Stephen’s face. An uncomfortable amount of time passed, causing Stephen to panic. Had he lost weight? Was his hair wrong? What if they could not confirm his identity? He’d heard of such things happening before, reading accounts online urging all people to boycott the Valkree service forever because of the inconvenience they’d suffered. The box underneath the drone was all that mattered to him at that moment, mere feet from his grasp, yet held in a vice-like grip by the machine. His eyes scanned the garden for errant bricks. If it denied him access this instant, he fantasised about smashing it.

Identity confirmed. Stephen Chow-dree. Thankyou for shopping with Valkree.

The drone lowered, releasing its payload with apparent tenderness at his feet, then pivoting and whizzing off towards the warehouse to accompany its robot friends. Stephen picked up the box, surprised with how light it felt and returned indoors, anticipation mounting to unbox his long-awaited delivery. As he placed the box on the table in his living room, he remembered he would need to record this for social media. Stephen grunted as he leapt back upstairs, two at a time, almost tripping in his haste. He grabbed his phone and the Omni-Stick (Twist for tripod! Slide for selfie!) that held it. He twisted the stick and sturdy legs popped out from the bottom. Back in the lounge, he placed the phone and tripod on the table, camera pointed at the box and his hands.

He logged into Soci-All and tutted as the mandatory ten second commercial played cheerfully as he waited with impatience, until the screen finally displayed the message, ‘Welcome back Stevie-chan!’. It was fashionable to have an Asian connotation to one’s online ID and Stephen, two years prior, decided adding the word ‘chan’ sounded Japanese and cutesy, like the anime that obsessed him at that time. His surname, he considered, wasn’t the ‘right’ kind of Asian.

His customised home-screen littered with images of waifus from Japanese cartoons glowed in his face. It embedded six boxes within the centre of the screen, three by three. The icons were marked; Feed, Pics, Tube, Stream, Messages and Settings. He stabbed at the icon for Tube and set the camera to record opening his package. As ever, he provided commentary:

Hey guys! It’s Steeeeeevie-Chan! First of all, I want to thank all of you guys for following my page, every single person means so much to me. We’ve got a great community going and I love chatting with you guys when I’m streaming. That leads me to this box. You may or may not know, when we hit the hundred thousand follower mark, we receive a reward, and this is it! It isn’t a meaningless trophy like the dark ages, but a brand new, practical Hwahwei phone, specifically made for users of Soci-All! I will unbox it for you now, but I want to stress I’m not flexing; I’m sharing this with you as every follower has contributed towards this.

Stephen opened the box, excitedly chatting to an audience he would upload to shortly. Hwahwei had agreed with Soci-All to produce a phone with app specifics in mind. It was larger than the average phone, thicker with a rubber shock-absorbent casing surrounding the edges. In its normal form, it functioned like any regular smart-phone available at the time. The bulky case folded open and a graphon screen rolled out from an internal holster to snap into place resulting in a larger square screen, the dimensions of which were standard for the photo functions of Soci-All. The idea behind this was that photographers could make correct adjustments to their shot compositions for the sharing audience. It also offered a larger screen than a small tablet for viewing the Tube applications–a boon for the TV networks that offered streaming services though the app to reach a global audience.

He toyed with the upgraded Omni-Stick that came as part of the package. Stephen had been toying with the idea of purchasing this package for a while now, its price requiring several months of saving–over four thousand pounds–but recent upsurges in his viewership, seemingly from out of nowhere, meant the reward tier would be soon within his grasp. He daydreamed of one day reaching the million mark. They had built blocks of luxury apartments in most cities in the developed world offering subsidised rent for the more popular streamers on the site. He’d seen a walk-through on Davie-Kun’s channel and was shocked to discover the cost to be significantly less than he currently paid.

Stephen soon realised he had to keep to his commitment to produce content for the day on each of his feeds. To not do so resulted in strikes which could drastically reduce his income. Every day without fail, he would upload videos, pictures and comment on his personal feed. It wasn’t required of everyone to post content on all formats, but recent amendments to the terms and conditions made it fiscally rewarding to do so. Combined with the basic income payments from the government, Stephen made a comfortable living for merely uploading parts of his life to the world that remained interested.

Stephen lived in the Meersbrook area of Sheffield in England. His rented house stood on a street on a steep incline, lined on both sides by twentieth century terraced houses, erected to accommodate the steelworkers of the past. Now, the houses were mostly rented by fellow Soci-All users, save for the few remaining homeowners that had purchased the properties decades prior, when such things were still affordable. As the residents eventually died off, the state took control of the properties, paying a stipend to grieving relatives, then collecting the rent income to cover the costs of the basic income. A few years prior, when the law got passed for this to happen, there seemed to be an uproar online, yet as quickly as it erupted, it seemed to die down. Stephen mused that people realised it was to everyone’s benefit and stopped complaining. He certainly enjoyed the life this had provided for him.

Clad in cycling Lycra, Stephen ambled to his shed in the back garden and pulled out his mountain bike. He wiped down the frame, ensuring it looked as good as possible for his picture. It was time to test out his new Hwahwei and Omni-Stick. He twisted the device causing the thin, but sturdy tripod legs to spring from their casings. As he slid to extend the top bar to add more height, it surprised him to see it extended from both sides, allowing the tripod legs to extend further for a more secure base. He examined the handle portion; there was now three buttons in a vertical line to adjust height. He grinned at the new marvel and snapped open the phone into picture mode. The image was crystal clear, something he’d not expected with a rolling screen. Stephen secured the phone into the tripod and positioned it to include the woods and hills that lay at the rear of his home. He wheeled his bike through his back gate then mounted it, glancing over his shoulder to ensure he was in the frame on the camera screen, then using his remote clicker, fired off a few images of the journey he portrayed that he would take.

#yorkshire #beauty #scenery #sunnyday #cycling #exercise #nofilterrequired.

Stephen then adjusted the brightness, contrast and finally the saturation filters on the image. The greenest greens got the most upvotes. He uploaded the image and was pleased to see love hearts popping up almost instantly. His photo feed had far fewer followers than his stream and video feeds; the numbers barely breaking a thousand. It was a good sign. He folded the phone back to its default form and packed up the Omni-Stick. He returned his bike to the shed and went back inside. Stephen didn’t have time to ride it; he’d a stream to prepare for.

As he made himself a coffee, Stephen growled in annoyance as the milk formed globules in the coffee. It was off. Dammit! He realised he needed to take a trip to the shops. There was no way he could stream without coffee, and he couldn’t drink it black. He grabbed the remote ear-buds from the Hwahwei box and his sunglasses. The drone earlier had been a welcome visit but walking down the street without a music wasn’t an option as the constant hum of those same machines circling overhead caused him to feel dizzy and nauseous. He tutted as he waited for the mandatory ad to end, then stabbed at the stream option on Soci-All, then selected ‘music’. He found an appealing looking mix of old RnB classics and pressed play, allowing the auto-tuned vocals to sooth his irritation. They didn’t make them like this anymore. ‘I was born in the wrong generation,’ he quipped to himself.

 

*****************

Damon stood at the counter bored. He was thirty-nine years old and spent his days waiting for occasional customers in a convenience store that forever teetered on the brink of closure. His eyes strayed to the empty units on the crossroads. It could be worse. He remembered the days when this corner of Meersbrook had been filled with takeaways; all seeming to thrive on the appetites of the residents. It wasn’t restricted to this area, he’d seen the same thing happen in many other towns. U-Eat once offered a service for it to arrange deliveries from one place, until they built their own units providing many cuisines from one complex. With the efficiency of the drones, deliveries were never late as there was no traffic to delay them. The food got cooked, packaged and sent within minutes. Damon conceded that the food was good, but at what cost?

Damon sulked to himself that this was not how he’d envisioned his life as a youth. He’d gained a master’s degree in English Literature in his early twenties and now this was all but worthless. Now he was stuck behind a cash register and told to consider himself lucky that the store owners hadn’t installed a scan/pay/ unlock system for their customers. He’d been in those stores, where if you walked in, you had to buy a product if you wanted to leave again, exits opening only after payment had been received. Thankfully, they weren’t very popular. Yet. His alternative was to become a slave to social media, something he’d found distasteful ever since his teens. At weekends, he and other like-minded people would meet in the Netherall Social Bar to sit and bemoan the zombification of the masses. Damon considered that he was on the losing end of this battle.

He toyed with his beard, raising it upwards slightly to examine the creeping grey threatening to envelop it. Beards were out of fashion nowadays, but he stubbornly refused to follow trends; this had been his pride and joy as a younger man. Now he feared it made him look older than his years. Something shook Damon from his laments; a loud ‘thunk’ on the door. A local guy, he’d seen before, eyes glued to his hand-held ‘idiot machine’ tried opening the wrong door. He didn’t even think to look away from his screen, he simply moved two inches to his left and tried again. It wasn’t far enough. His face crashed against the door again, his mop of black hair rippling from the force. Damon sighed and picked up the phone on the register, turning slightly and pretended to be engaged in conversation as to not engage with the cretin.

Stephen looked up from his phone, embarrassed he’d been too distracted to operate the door properly. His cycling image had over one hundred likes in less than thirty minutes. He was exploding! Ideas about approaching sponsors danced through his head as it crashed into the door. He looked up, relieved that the store clerk hadn’t noticed. His lip sneered in distaste at the ageing hipster before him. ‘He thinks he is so much better than us, just because he works. What a wanker, using a landline!’ Stephen’s internal commentary caused a smirk as he opened the correct door and headed for the fridge.

On his way towards the cash desk, he noticed the variety of spices available, each with a large letter emblazoned on the jar. He arranged the jars to spell out ‘Steviechan’ and pointed his phone at his wit. Damon cleared his throat.

Excuse me!
Yeah?
What does this sign say?

Damon tapped on the hand-scrawled sign proclaiming ‘NO social media!’.

It’s just a quick picture!
I don’t care. Some of us want a haven from Soci-All. This shop is that haven. I ask you to respect that.
Please…
Look! You have two options; abide by the rules or if you don’t like it, put the milk back and fuck off!
Ok. Jesus.

Stephen lowered his phone and grumpily banged the container onto the counter. He swiped his phone across the scanner and then turned to exit.

The payment hasn’t gone through.

Stephen cursed to himself. He hadn’t set up the payment function on his new phone yet. His eyes widened in panic, he carried no cash. Fortunately, he had remembered his wallet, which he swiped across the scanner, awaiting the ping of the successful transaction.

See? Wasn’t hard was it?

Damon’s sarcastic tone broke Stephen’s stride a little. He wanted to argue, but it was pointless. His shop, his rules. He walked out of the door without so much as a glance backwards. Damon chuckled to himself as Stephen left, then grew dismayed as that was the only entertainment he’d experienced all morning. He spotted the spice rack spelling out Stephen’s online alter-ego. Damon pulled his own mobile from his back pocket and hid it under the counter, in case people were watching, he searched Soci-All for Stevie-Chan. After a few moments, he said to himself;

Seems like a nice kid, actually.

 

***************

 

Stephen returned home, milk in hand to prepare his coffee and his evening’s stream. He would stream for roughly two hours per evening, focusing on retro gaming. The Universal Play System (Uplaysys) offered a library of catalogues dating back decades, from a variety of once rival systems.  After the merger of the Japanese gaming companies in the thirties, it forced the rival American giant to join or get driven out of the market. For a while, gamers rejoiced as all their favourite titles were finally available on one format. The increasing costs of living meant that owning multiple systems was a luxury few could afford. In Stephen’s opinion, this begat a decline in quality of gaming. The lack of competition resulted in complacency as games became more homogenised to cater for a broad a base as possible. The once thriving Indie market of decades prior became stilted as the red tape and restrictive processes for developing titles to the Uplaysys proved either too frustrating or too costly.

Stephen booted up his Uplaysys, using one of his three alternate accounts. His stream was scheduled to begin in four hours. Time to practice. Repeatedly, he died to a challenging action RPG from the early 2010s. Repeating the same portion of the game over and over again until he mastered the level layout. He switched between accounts, replaying sections when progress was made, to further practice sections that once cleared were not available again. His eyes drifted to the clock, the process of practice irritated him, he couldn’t wait to pretend to have fun. He mentally noted where surprises lay, to garner the correct reaction on stream. Finally, as the time drew near, he switched on his separate chat screen and logged into his official account on the Uplaysys. He selected the Soci-All app on screen and began his stream.

It was one of his better ones. He’d gained a record number of viewers for his broadcast, all engaged and responsive, making it impossible to keep up with his chat screen, for which he apologised. He yelped and screamed at appropriate places, much to the mirth of his audience. Thanks to his practice, his gaming prowess frequently received compliments. It made all of the time spent seem worthwhile. The evenings stream lasted just over two hours, the rest of which was him pretending to uncover secrets before saving further progress for the next day. He noted it would be advisable to time his area clears to fit more in. Six hours practice in future. Buoyed on by the response, he bade his followers farewell and switched off the games console.

After doing so, a shrill tone indicated a private message from an unknown source. As he logged in to Soci-All on his phone, tapping his fingers impatiently during the mandatory commercial. A message from the PR department of Gonesoft, the publishers of the game he was just playing rewarded his patience.

Hi Stevie-chan! I just watched your stream and was very impressed with the content and the audience engagement. As you may know, the game you are playing currently was the first in a lengthy franchise that established Gonesoft within the gaming community. We’d like to offer a sponsorship opportunity in return for you playing through the entire franchise on your stream. It goes without saying, we would provide downloads of the games for free, on top of which we can offer a bursary providing your stream numbers are consistent and promotional items to offer as giveaways. Please contact me back if this is of interest to you!

Stephen smiled and laughed with joy. He’d started using Soci-All as a source of income and hadn’t expected that it would lead to something like this. He’d certainly daydreamed about the possibility, as did most people. Hands shaking, he sent his positive response, trying not to gush too much about his excitement. He considered making an announcement video but didn’t want to jeopardise it by jumping the gun too early. Barely able to concentrate on anything but the possibilities that lay before him, he made himself a cup of tea, unable to stop smiling. His fantasies of living in a Soci-All apartment may well be in his future!

He wanted to share the news with someone, the only person he could think of was his older brother, Raymond. Sitting on his bed, he switched on his phone, still grinning as the mandatory ad played. This time, instead of simply dismissing it, he pressed the option to order the product, an effort to give something back to the app responsible for his current happiness. After the transaction was complete, the Soci-All page opened. Stephen’s face dropped. He blinked several times staring at his screen in disbelief.

 

****************

 

Three days later, Stephen’s neighbour, Julie (Ju-Ju) peered out of her window as paramedics stretchered a body bag into the back of the vehicle. She caught a glimpse of Stephen’s brother, Raymond, looking bewildered with glassy eyes. She’d barely spoken to Stephen in real life, despite living next door for almost three years. Julie moved from the window to get her phone, logging onto Soci-All. She tapped her foot impatiently as she searched for Stevie-Chan. No results. She put her hand to her mouth in shock. Stevie-Chan was dead. She thought about his cheery streams and light-hearted updates, enough so that tears sprang from her face. She stood back next to her bedroom window and took a selfie of her crying, careful to block Raymond out of the image, but to keep the ambulance in.

 

OMG! I can’t believe he is gone! #ripsteviechan

 

The hashtag #ripsteviechan trended for almost the entire afternoon.

 

It’s been a while.

The title of this blog isn’t a reference to Staind’s 2001 ‘classic’, but to the fact I’ve kind of neglected the blog quite a bit over the summer. There are a few reasons for this; I was busy finishing third novel for my self-imposed deadline, starting work on my fourth book (more on that later) and then trying to get as much time cycling as I could whilst the weather was decent.

Perhaps the most important reason I’ve not been posting on here is, quite simply, I don’t have much to write about. I never intended my blog to be any kind of political commentary, but a fair few of my more recent posts have been leaning in that direction, against my better judgement. So, I stopped posting for a while. I think the main problem is that my life isn’t that interesting, it bored the bejesus out of me. Weekly posts saying, “I sat at a table, wrote some words then cycled ‘til I got sweaty’ wouldn’t be an interesting read.

It’s time for a change. I need to make myself interested in my own life at the very least, to the point where I’d feel compelled enough to talk about it. It won’t happen overnight, but this weekend, I start a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course, with the aim being to emigrate, most likely April next year. Will it happen? The intent is certainly there, but I’m well aware that ‘life’ throws up roadblocks, which try as I might to anticipate, I never seem to be able to do so. Still, it’s a step forward that will hopefully result in some interesting content.

I’ve finished the TriloGY. I actually released it in August, but didn’t share anything until now, because I didn’t really have any ‘filler’ to pad the post out. I’m not a huge fan of blogs that only post a couple of paragraphs – seems to me that is what Facebook is for if there is little to say, or Twitter. Anyway, here are the links for all three books, they are to the UK version of Amazon, so if you fancy giving them a read overseas, just change the .co.uk to whatever your Amazon region is (.com or .jp etc.). It is available globally.

The Night Out.

Backbones.

GY ‘til I Die.

Prices vary from region to region. If you do buy it and want to chat about it at all, look for my contact details on here and I’ll be happy to discuss it. They are available in paperback and kindle formats. If you are a member of Kindle Unlimited, all three books are available to read for free on there too.

Since then, I have started work on my fourth novel, which is likely to take me a fair amount of time to complete. Called ‘The Socialist Network’, it is a tale of Social Media in the future, where people’s incomes are tied to their usage. The story also follows the creator of this platform from being a teenager to the release and her rise to prominence. I’m keeping the details minimal for now as some aspects of it may well change; I’m only a quarter of the way through so far. I did quite like the first chapter though, so I will be sharing that introduction on here Friday.

So, that’s about it for now. I’ve said this before, but I will try to keep some content trickling on here as much as I can, even if it just opinion pieces on some form of media I’ve watched or played recently.

Arguing online.

I do it to myself. I’m well aware of this. Recently, I tried an experiment where I ignored any news and current affairs. I lasted about a week; it made me feel stupid. I’m not trying to imply that I’m on the ball and completely up to date with absolutely everything, but I usually try to know at least the basics of what is going on in the world. What I don’t need to do is read the comments sections on news articles.

I managed to avoid them for quite some time, but this week, like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to them. Now my head is spinning. It honestly appears to me that the world is deliberately making itself stupider. I mean the news has been depressing enough. You have the actual president of the US, in the space of a week, making public statements, then saying the opposite of them a day later. I mean, we’re all used to politicians not keeping to their word, but usually they at least wait a few months before back-tracking. The main thing I’m referring to here is on Trump’s visit to the UK, amid the protests, he did an interview with The Sun (a right-wing shit-smear of a tabloid newspaper here, with a solid background in printing lies – for reference look up their coverage of the Hillsborough tragedy for their most egregious example) where he heavily criticised the Prime Minister and then endorsed a bumbling oaf in the form of Boris Johnson to be Prime Minister.

This was moronic. On the eve of a state visit, to publicly disrespect the leader of the country (I noted a week later he didn’t dare do that with Putin) is a diplomatic gaffe of epic proportions. When confronted about this, he uttered, without irony, the words I’ve come to loathe in any context – Fake news. The Sun responded with the fact they had the interview on tape, where the wannabe pro-wrestler then backtracked yet again by dismissing it as ‘just the tabloids’. As a politically left leaning sort of person, imagine if you will how unclean it makes me feel to have to not only defend Theresa May, but the journalistic integrity of a piss-rag like the Sun, but here I am doing it anyway in the face of something even worse – a boorish megalomaniac who has recently been treating dictators with more respect than his closest allies.

At the same time, you have the continuing clusterfuck that is Brexit, where the government frantically try to arrange some sort of deal that doesn’t ruin the country for at least the next decade, a consequence of a referendum with many lies told, proven voting fraud and the disenfranchised voters being told by the leave campaign to ‘ignore the experts’ (the ones providing, y’know, facts) and vote based on empty promises (which were then admitted to be lies the day after the referendum result – the 350million a week for the NHS promise on a bus). Also, protest marches continue to free Tommy Robinson or Stephen Yaxley-Lennon (his real name which sounds too posh to court the moronic following he’s amassed), who was convicted for contempt of court and imprisoned. For an offence he admitted and was expressly told NOT to do when he was let off lightly, despite his prior convictions, with a suspended sentence for doing the same thing in the past. It has been a depressing week in the news and no mistake.

So, I read these news reports, mainly in disbelief at how these things can be happening, my eyes flit downwards and I catch the numerous comments on all these subjects. Stupidly, I continue only to be driven further and further into despair. Arguments rage back and forth; the same phrases being thrown about with no actual discussion going on.

On Trump:

People can’t admit he is a great man who has put America back into work.

(cue the sharing of multiple sources citing the rise in employment beginning deep into the Obama administration and political analysts stating that the benefits of a new presidency are rarely seen until at least 2 years after the beginning of their term)

Trump supporters’ response? Fake news

On Brexit (and the election fraud scandal):

You lost get over it/ will of the people/ getting our sovereignty back/ taking back control/ democracy at work.

(cue the predictable and necessary question being posed that if the democratic rules have been broken, then how is it democracy?)

The response? Yeah? Well, remain spent more/ sore losers.

On Stephen Yaxley- Lennon:

He was just trying to get justice/ he is a political prisoner/ trying to silence free speech/ snowflakes/ swivel eyed lefty (I shan’t carry on, it just seems to be a barrage of insults)

(cue the very easy counters that he was filming outside a court, where the suspects were being tried – justice was already being served. He isn’t a political prisoner, he plead guilty to a crime. Free speech is in no way being silenced, we have laws covering reporting of trials)

The response? Usually just further insults.

With my writing you would assume I’m biased here. Well no. The people whose ‘side’ I am on are often equally as bad. Over-use of the term ‘Nazi’, accusations of racism (sometimes appropriate, but used too generally), terms like ‘gammon’ being thrown about, digs about spelling and grammar (I will admit to this myself in the past, but I do agree it de-values any argument if it is using text-speak and ignores basic grammar rules, or typed with caps lock on. It is still low hanging fruit.). The worst I’ve seen is the over-use of what-aboutery, where it is basically people using examples of similar ‘crimes’ from either side happening. Invariably, no one discusses the subject at hand at all. I’ve always hated people sharing ‘memes’ and basing their opinions on them – 9 times out of 10, they are simply lies. It isn’t just a right -wing trait, most recently I saw something floating around stating Fox News reported anti-Trump protests in London as only having 500 people in attendance. A simple glance at their site’s news reports shows they reported at as ‘tens of thousands’. That’s right, I just stuck up for Fox News as well. I feel unclean.

So, I’m proposing something to anyone reading this, be it left-wing or right-wing. Try going a month without sharing anything you haven’t fact-checked beforehand. If you discuss any subject, don’t use a derogatory insult towards the other side (if they do it, point it out, but don’t respond in kind). If discussing crime or fraud, don’t try to counter with an example of their ‘side’ doing the same thing – keep on subject. Don’t simply dismiss a source – read it, even if it is something you don’t consider an erudite source. If you disagree with what the article states, find something to debunk it. Avoid over-used statements that make it easy to ignore your argument. And most importantly, as much as you can (it is sometimes impossible) don’t over use the terms right-wing and left-wing, they are very wide ranging political spectrums, not insults.

I think a lot of people are worried these days about what is going on around them. It is easy to fantasise about some conspiracy where a Machiavellian ‘elite’ deliberately pits people against each other to divide and conquer. I suspect its more likely a by-product of genuine incompetence. Remember as a child, you assumed all adults knew everything? Then you get older and realise you’re clueless and winging it? Its possible the people ‘in charge’ are just the same. If people can share information in civil discourse, it would be easier for a compromise to be reached.

Reviewing the reviewers 2: Rise of the Edge-Lords.

Edge-Lord – A person that vociferously offers a contrary opinion to that which is held as popular belief in the misapprehension it makes them appear knowledgeable. Often appears in discussions on popular media properties such as films, TV and videogames.

I thought it was worth putting a description for those unfamiliar with the term. The name comes from how the antagonist feels that they are somehow ‘edgy’ for going against the grain despite being absent of any critical thought. They usually simply say things like ‘that was shit’ or ‘the book was better’. Generic terms that don’t require any kind of back up whatsoever. With that in mind, lets delve into the second instalment of Reviewing the Reviewers. I need to stress, there WILL be spoilers for Infinity War. Not major ones, but these jokers warrant a little explanation.

I was excited for Infinity War. It had been ten years in the making and represented not only a great piece of popcorn entertainment, but cinematic history. Marvel’s achievement has been attempted elsewhere, to nowhere near the same degree of success. I was enthralled throughout but will say that it wouldn’t be as good without the build up preceding it. If a person had never seen an MCU film, then they would likely be flummoxed by this instalment. That was by design, the directors expect the audience to be familiar with the characters beforehand, so it works fully in that regard.

But the Edge- Lords are gathering. Let’s see what the first one has to say on IMDB shall we?

Unless you’re a huge fan of this genre of movie, or of the Avengers, I’d strongly recommend skipping this movie. A friend and I went to see it, and left the theater half way through because we were so bored. Although the special effects are good, there really isn’t any plot to speak of. For comparison, Black Panther was a much better movie

Straight away, we see an example of the ill-informed. If you leave a film halfway through, how can you criticise the plot? Lets me sum it up for you, as you are clearly a dullard; Thanos is a bad guy that wants to seriously mess shit up for everyone, the heroes need to band together to fight him. It’s a superhero film, what did you expect? Aronofsky? This person’s score? 1/10 On to the next…

I wasn’t expecting much going in. I figured it would be all action, since there are so many characters. But I at least thought some of the action would be entertaining. But it wasn’t. Not one action scene was any good. Thor Ragnarok was a masterpiece compared to this. This movie was truly dreadful. My girlfriend, who normally likes any superhero movie that’s action-packed, even though this movie stunk. Many boring scenes of talking….all about nonsense. Because when every single character can do absolutely anything….when every character has powers that are limitless….like for instance, let’s go to outer-space, let’s teleport, let’s shoot a rope that curves 20 times and wraps around our opponent….when anyone can do anything….the result is total boredom after a short while. The 9.0/10 rating here is Fake News, I guarantee you that. Statistically impossible….especially for such a bad movie. I was sooo bored.

The prime example of an Edge-Lord. ‘I wasn’t expecting much going in’. Translated, this means ‘I am going to shit on this movie SO hard as everyone is bound to like it’. Bonus points for having a sly dig at Thor Ragnarok too, another films critics and fans alike enjoyed. I’m confused by their analysis of action scenes. Apparently limitless possibilities aren’t enough for our friend here, they want more. Rounding it up with use of the term ‘fake news’ which firmly cements their status as a moron. Again, they gave 1/10. But at least they stayed until the end.

Sorry…walked out feels my like I had just seen a DC movie. Depressed and forlorn.

Another 1/10. Initially, I assumed they had walked out halfway through again, but I gathered they referred to their feelings afterwards. Imagine a movie having a lasting emotional impact? Or being a representation of ‘things are always darkest before dawn’? Allow me to differentiate for you – DC films are depressing because they are excreted out by committee and prove how studio interference ruins an otherwise entertaining property. Caring about the fates of the characters means the film has succeeded. Gah! I’m getting riled.

….he will win 100% Oscar for the worst scenario and for the worst director

I haven’t trimmed this review down in any way. This was it. The ‘He’ this person refers to is actually two people. It was directed by the Russo brothers. A fact that is clearly stated at the top of the page on the site you left you dribble on. Only in negative Edge-Lord world do those Oscar categories exist. Do people win percentages of Oscars there?

The visualization is really impressive. But the story sucks. Marvel is ruining the reputation by putting all the superheroes together without a whole story.

Positive comments not reflected in the 1/10 score. This ‘reviewer’ has clearly missed the 8 years of marketing stating this movie to be part one of two. And they are also wrong. It tells a full story, the consequences of which are a separate tale. This movie is about Thanos. Erghh. I feel unclean. One more and I’m off to punch a pillow.

This movie was litterly the same as the avengers and civil war. Nothing new here except that the hype is getting stronger??? By rules of nature hype must die down over time but marvel fanboys want more bad movies? Disney’s board of director’s and their shareholders are laughing their ass off. They acquire the rights of a universe with some superheroes en then they release 5 superhero movies a year that are complete and utter trash but its fanbase will love it no matter wat. now a cgi war movie (were we all now how of how it will end, it doesn’t becouse Disney will keep spitting out these movies until marvel fanboys stop going to these trash movies.) Is considerd better than movies like Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, forrest gump and Leon??? Well if this is the case than i will leave this site and never come back becouse i use this site to see if a movie is worth seeing. But if a crap movie like this is considerd to be as good as THE GODFATHER!!! then i can no longer trust this site and will de-recommend it to everyone that wants to use it for the same purpose as i did.

In case it isn’t clear, the grammatical errors are left intact. We all make typos, but as I type this on Word, those horrible red lines are everywhere in this one. If you don’t know how to spell ‘literally’, then don’t use the word. Especially when it doesn’t apply. Apparently, the Marvel board of directors and shareholders all share a collective arse. Just to correct this simpleton, at no point have Marvel released five superhero films in one year. There has been four on a couple of occasions, but all of the rest are from different studios, admittedly a lot, but success breeds people riding on coat tails. Before I get on to the last point, I need to point out something that made me laugh out loud. Whilst listing what they see as ‘classic’ films, they refer to Forrest Gump, which whilst entertaining, negates their entire point about Infinity War standing shoulder to shoulder with the Godfather.

That last point is one that does make me think. With ratings and sites such as IMDB aggregating scores, do people genuinely take them at face value? I enjoyed Infinity War but would be the first to admit that as a film, it pales in comparison to the Godfather. It’s better than Forrest Gump though. Whilst opinions are subjective, there is an objective standard by which you can look at some properties. You could have the best script in the world, but if the camera was out of focus the entire way through, it would be a bad movie. Do people seriously consider that 9/10 average scores mean that the films have an equal measure of cinematography, direction, writing and acting? I hope not. My personal take on it is if a film achieves what it intended to achieve based on the audience it is aiming at. The Godfather was by design, a melodrama set within the Sicilian mafia and was not aimed at being a blockbuster summer action piece. It was successful. Infinity War however, was not attempting to be anything other than what it was, a popcorn epic. It, too, succeeded.

Hope you enjoyed this instalment, I will revisit the format again in the future. At least when I’ve calmed down enough to consider looking at user reviews again.

Going to the cinema.

I’ve been to the cinema three times this month. That’s the same amount I went in the entirety of the last year. It isn’t that I don’t like film, far from it. I’ve spent way more money than I should have done on videos and DVDs in the past (and to a lesser extent, Blu-ray). One of my fondest early memories was the cinema around the corner from my home as a child. My parents would take me to watch Disney films often, where I would often fall asleep as even at a young age, the blend of saccharine mawkishness with anti-Semitism bored me. But then they took me to see Clash of the Titans and a love for film became born as I cringed away from ‘Snakeyhead’, grabbing the ears of the unwitting person in front. Yeah, I was THAT kid. But things have changed.

The first reason I stopped going to the cinema, and this could be a local problem instead of a global one, was how pig-ignorant other people are. Last year during Thor: Ragnarok, a wretched arsehole sat in front of me whipped his phone out during the entire film at 15-minute intervals, the screen on maximum brightness. It marred my enjoyment of not only my favourite film of 2017, but possibly one I will rate highly still in years to come. I fully admit, it is a flaw in my personality that forces me to dwell on these issues, but all I could think of was prising his phone out of his dickhead fingers and hurling it at a wall, possibly followed by him if he objected. Maybe I’m a psychopath.

During Black Panther, two children, accompanied by their parent, had a full-blown conversation for the first hour of the film, the parent saying nothing. I’m not an unfeeling monster and I expect kids to have the occasional comment and marvel (geddit?!!) at what they are seeing on screen, but this was beyond the pale. When one decided to incessantly kick the back seats of the chairs causing the row to vibrate was when I took action; I turned giving them and the parent the ‘death glare’. The parent sat staring at his phone. I was incandescent.

Most recently, I viewed Infinity War, no spoilers, it was great. An ambitious cinematic gamble begun 10 years ago paying off in spades. Even going at our crowd avoiding time of half past ten in the morning, the cinema was almost full. And with a full cinema, comes idiots. This time, this came in the form of a woman who was not only afflicted with an irritating laugh but also the urge to comment loudly, sometimes to inform everyone that some was funny–in case her barking like a dog with an injured throat wasn’t enough.

“That was funny!”

“Is that Gomorrah?”

“He swore!”

I’m not making this up. She was too far away and obscured by other humans to pelt coins at. British politeness prevents me and others from yelling “Shut the fuck up!” at the top of our lungs, especially since there is the slim chance that someone so obnoxious could have mental issues, so we remain silent. Such is our cross to bear. The point remains, where I live, a cinema visit involves putting up with these twats. I saw Ready Player One recently, and for the first time, it seemed that the trend had been bucked, hence the subsequent visits.

Another thing that had begun to annoy me with cinema visits was the lack of trailers and the inversely proportionate amount of commercials before the feature. Easily 15-20 minutes of advertising. I don’t use broadcast TV any more, so these seem particularly egregious to me. Shit, I’ve just paid for entry, don’t try to sell me more stuff. I’m from the internet, commercials are a punishment for not paying for a service.

The trailers though. I miss them. It used to be a stream of around 8-10 before the feature. I know they are a form of advertising, but I always looked at it as a way of keeping myself informed about new releases (until I started buying film magazines at least). I would look forward to a slew of new trailers almost as much as the film I was about to see. Before Infinity War, we got three. Solo, Ant-Man and the Wasp and Venom. The same ones I’d viewed the week before when I watched Black Panther, plus the new Venom one. These were too targeted for my tastes. I accept that It likely to be interesting to the crowd watching those types of films, but I know no-one that only enjoys ONE particular genre. Since I stopped buying the film magazines, I am less well informed about upcoming releases. I like to have that element of surprise, and making me interested in something that I wouldn’t obviously go to see anyway, would inspire me to visit a cinema more often.

Times change, cinema attendance is falling as a result. I grew up in a time when ushers existed, politely asking people to behave to not spoil the film for others. Intermissions during long features to allow for toilets breaks without missing crucial plot points. Most importantly, a bevy of upcoming features to get you as equally jazzed as you expect the film to. Nowadays, a trip to the cinema seems designed to test your patience rather than an enjoyable experience.

Another cheery rant over. I’ll be back next week with another edition of Reviewing the Reviewers. I’ve seen some particularly cretinous ones recently!

 

 

My second novel is now available if you enjoy my writing. The first is still also available.

 

Backbones

 

The Night Out.  (This one is free on Kindle until 5th May – act quickly!)

Editing and second book release!

So, it’s been a while since I wrote anything on here. I’m sorry about that, I really am. It’s not you, it’s me… I don’t know where I’m going with that bit, so I’ll stop now. I mentioned previously that I needed to crack on with the editing, but I had still failed to understand what a monumental task it would be.

After I completed my first book, I assumed I’d be able to simply read through myself and pick out any mistakes chapter by chapter and it would be fine. That was either hubris or foolishness on my part as quite a few errors slipped through. Its possible proof reading isn’t my forte (I tend to skim), but also when you have written the words, it is harder to spot the errors. If anyone has written anything, they should be aware that they will always have made mistakes, probably a lot more than they imagine.

Rather than leave it alone, I paid for a plugin for Word called ProWritingAid. I need to stress right now, I’m not sponsored by them or anything, it just happened to be relatively cheap with a discount code I found online too. This helped massively, but it was seriously time consuming. It breaks down each chapter (highlighted text; it seemed easier this way) and points out simple punctuation and grammar errors as well as highlighting the over-used words. The over-used words function was where I spent the most time. Figuring out how to remove excess use of ‘was’, ‘had’ and ‘that’ meant reading individual sentences repeatedly, causing me to spot other errors like the typos that still make words.

I re-edited the first novel and replaced the old file, after sitting for 5 or 6 hours staring at a screen, I wasn’t in any mood to continue writing after that, so hence no blog for a while. I’ll be sporadic over the next few weeks too as I need to finish the final part of the trilogy in time for an early August release. This time I’m editing the chapters after I have written them. I never want to do the whole thing in one go again.

That leads me to the fact that the second book is now out! The novel is called Backbones and continues the story began in The Night Out. The links provided are for the UK version of Amazon, but it is available in all regions, so if you want it in the US, just change the .co.uk in the URL to .com and the same product will come up. It is available in both Kindle and Paperback formats depending on your tastes.

 

Backbones

 

The Night Out.

 

Response has been brilliant so far. A lot of helpful and supportive people have come out of the woodwork and helped calm my nerves. A big thanks to all of them.

 

I’ll probably be back on Friday ranting about cinemas

Bad customer service – the decline of the high street.

Firstly, I’d like to apologise for not updating as regularly as planned. I’ve been busy editing the second book for release in late April/ early May. I have to go back and do a new sweep on the first to update that too as a couple of errors slipped through the net. I’ve been using an editing tool this time called ProWritingAid, which has helped immensely. I tend to scan read just about everything, so don’t pick up on errors, but this programme analyses everything, which means thinking about each sentence carefully, allowing me to spot errors more easily. The downside? It takes longer to edit than it did to write.

Anyway, onto today’s topic: Reported in the news this week was that Grainger Games are suffering. Credit lines have been withdrawn, the company lost 1.3m last year and they are no longer restocking their shelves or taking pre-orders. The future looks grim for the chain. In our town, they remain the only dedicated gaming shop in town after Game closed its doors for the final time last week.

It is easy to blame their woes on online shopping. I feel the answer is a little more complex than that in reality. Digital gaming has expanded, but on consoles (the primary source of shops income), digital new releases are usually around £50 for the basic package (sometimes up £100 with all the bells and whistles attached to AAA releases). The same game in retail will go for around £42, these figures are averages based on things I’ve specifically looked at in the past. The same game can be ordered online usually £2-3 cheaper than in the shops and often will arrive a day before release.

Already, you can see a huge advantage to ordering from an online retailer. It is cheaper and you can obtain the item first. For the consumer, there is an added complication–faulty goods. If you order a defective item online, returning the item is a pain in the arse. You have to wait for a returns slip for free postage, then often pay for new packaging, then wait for the replacement or refund. The whole process at its quickest can take a week, but in a store, you can take it back and get the exchange/refund instantly. Or at least that is the theory.

In Grainger Games’ case, this isn’t the way it works. In recent months, two people close to me have been burned by customer unfriendly policies that verge on the ridiculous. My brother purchased a new PS4 controller which had an issue where the pad wouldn’t remain synced with the machine and eventually would turn itself off. It wasn’t an instantly noticeable issue. He usually buys products from Amazon etc. but on this occasion had gone to the ‘high street’ after a conversation with me about how annoying it is replacing faulty goods ordered online versus the ease of a shop. Man, do I hate being wrong. He was at work, so gave me the receipt and the pad to ask for an exchange. It had been two days since purchase. I took these and visited the store expecting no issues.

I explained the situation (I had tested the pad at home on both my, and my housemate’s PS4) and the same thing happened and they tested the pad in the store. They said, “It works fine”. Patiently, I explained that it does at first and repeated my description of the problem, stressing that we weren’t looking for a refund, simply an exchange for a working pad. I explained it had been tested on multiple machines, the same thing occurring on all machines. They said that unless they could see a fault, Sony would refuse to refund their coffers. I attempted reasoning that I had nothing to gain to attempt to defraud them. The pad had all of its packaging, was clearly new and I had provided receipt. What would someone have to gain by claiming a product was faulty to exchange for the same product? I understand a cash refund is a different scenario that people will sometimes attempt to game for extra cash. I was getting nowhere, so decided to leave as it was making me angry and I didn’t want to take it out on the minimum-wage staff that have no bearing on the farcical decisions made by their corporate overlords. I felt as though I was being called a liar.

I took to Twitter, the go-to complain machine to try to solve the problem by their centralised customer service department. They messaged me informing that someone would call me soon. Five days later, I received a phone call. I explained the situation, the fault and the fact all that was required was an exchange. I basically had the same conversation as before. It was clear that was an almost scripted response given to the staff, explaining that Sony would not accept it as a fault. I countered this with the fact that as a customer, my contract was with them, not Sony and it was their responsibility to provide a replacement, not Sony’s. They essentially told me to fuck off. They didn’t use those words exactly, but it was made clear they weren’t prepared to help.

I explained what had happened to my brother, who took time out to try to resolve the issue himself. I have been known to exacerbate situations in the past with liberal use of sweary outburst, so I don’t blame him for second guessing my attempts. On this occasion, I didn’t. I’m nearly a grown up. He was met with the exact same deference as I was, with the same stock responses. Even more frustrated than I was, he contacted Sony, who sent a delivery slip and then provided an IMMEDIATE replacement. To save the hassle of online returns, he paid extra for a product to receive a lesser service.

My housemate also visited them in December to buy a second hand mobile phone as his old one recently died. About three weeks later, the phone screen simply stopped working, so he went to the store to return it. He said his interaction lasted 30 seconds as he explained what had happened, the staff member held the phone up to the light and stated, “Screen has a scratch on it. Can’t replace it” That was that. Wasted money. It is important to note that my housemate is a careful, meticulous person. It is highly unlikely he scratched the phone since he uses protective cases and treats just about everything he owns with care. He is partially blind, so I checked the phone when he got home. There was indeed an infinitesimal scratch on the screen, so I’d hazard a guess it was there on purchase, but could not confirm it 100%. I can confirm was that it wouldn’t cause a screen to break.

My long winded point is that high street stores, not just Grainger, all must be aware that the majority of products are available cheaper online. To combat this, they need to offer levels of customer service of a far more personable nature. Because of our experience, we would never shop at Grainger again and our social circle would be unlikely to risk it either based on what we had said. I’m confident based on the standardised responses, that these things are not isolated issues and have driven many a customer away over time.

I’m not gloating at their potential demise. It is awful how many companies are struggling in the UK at the moment and it is only going to get worse. I’ve had people I know work for them and was staggered by how poorly the staff are treated. Mandatory breaks not adhered to, required to stay longer hours for unpaid training and only offered minimum wage to begin with. I sympathise with those staff and hope that their closure doesn’t cause any long term damage to their lives. I also understand why that wouldn’t motivate them to be more helpful than they are. It is the central decisions that causes issues such as the ones I described, not the person behind the counter. If Grainger does indeed fold, then other businesses need to start paying attention quickly before the UK high street simply becomes a huge Wal-Mart incorporating Poundland.