Cardinal Query Sins: Wants Nothing, Does Nothing, Has Nothing
Dear Agent Fullname,
Light Yagami wants nothing more than to get through each day of his senior school year without dying of boredom. When a mysterious notebook finds its way into his hands, Light is intrigued by its magical properties. The notebook—called the Deathnote—has the power to kill anyone whose name is written inside it.
Light soon discovers that the ‘owner’ of the Deathnote is Ryuk, a Japanese god of death with dark motivations of his own. Under Ryuk’s evil influence, Light is gradually seduced by the Deathnote’s potential and comes to believe he is capable to saving humanity–as long as he’s willing to use the Deathnote to kill those who deserve to die. He might even save the world from itself.
But as Light uses the Deathnote to kill more and more people in the name of justice, he risks losing sight of very principles which drive him.
(Comps + Bio)
The above query reads okay on a line-by-line level. Unfortunately, if I were reading this in a critique, I’d be putting it on the scrap-and-redo pile—and so would Essa Hansen, who is cowriting this article 
