January 2019: My New Year’s resolutions regarding Twitter!

In 2018 I managed to come to terms with Twitter, mainly because I finally got myself a smartphone. I started off with something like 11 followers in March. Thanks mainly to the huge and highly supportive writing community, I’m now on my way to 3,000. I’ve had some brilliant conversations with some brilliant people along the way; I feel as if I have made some friends. Would you believe I even hooked up with two of my favourite authors, Steven Saylor and M. R. C. Kasasian? And yet, as great as this undoubtedly is, not everything is peaches in the Twitterverse.

The reason for my expanded following is that I get mentioned in numerous “follow trains” and pyramid-style “tag” games. Both have their downsides. “I went out for beer and when I got back I found a hundred new notifications waiting for me,” as the recipient of one such tag game put it. It can cause those of us who don’t know how to mute conversations enormous distress. One of the ones I participated in (you’ll probably know it—“7 book covers over 7 days; no explanations, no comments”) proved stressful for one of the people I tagged. Yet someone she tagged enjoyed it so much, they set up a brand new round of their own. So my first resolution is to join in only those games I can see some benefit in, and to be very, very careful about whom I tag, if anyone. I’ve never been good at following rules.

You won’t be surprised to learn that there are rather unscrupulous people out there who use the writing community’s follow trains for their own dastardly schemes. Media types, “influencers” (what a horrid word), bank executives, and even footballers (mine played for Arsenal) follow you, knowing full well you’ll diligently follow them back. Then, after a suitable amount of time has passed, they drop you like a hot potato, with the hope you won’t notice. Why? Because it boosts their following. Here’s a tip: mute them before you unfollow them. If they ever try their scam on you again (and sometimes they do), their “follow” will appear with a mute sign attached, warning you that you’ve had dealings with them before. This time, let them hang: they can boost your following for a while. Or—and here’s my second resolution—learn to recognize the signs, and don’t follow them in the first place.

Then there are the people—typically with fewer than three tweets to their name, if any—who immediately start DMing you (sending you direct messages) as soon as you click their follow button. Often they’re young women, who tell me they want to get to know me better. I used to reply that I do not DM, not that that ever stopped them. “Why not?” “We could always use (insert the name of some other app here) instead?” My third resolution: if by chance I mistakenly follow any more of them, I have prepared a brilliant, very obviously pre-written advertisement for my books, in which I thank them for following me, politely explain that I do not DM, and say that I look forward to reading their proper tweets.

Which brings me on to the book promotion schemes that DM, especially ones claiming to get you reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. “How does that sound?” they ask. “It sounds like it’s a bit too late,” I answer. “I already have quite a good number.” But they are a tenacious breed. They are not going to let a sales lead stop at that. Apparently by increasing my reviews, I increase my ranking on both sites, which in turn increases my “organic reach”. Two brow-beating interactions later, having quoted my titles to me (shows that they care), they finally concede defeat. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet come up with a strategy for cutting them off right at the start.

On a final note, two of the accounts I follow sadly stopped tweeting last year. Both are OK; for the time being, they’d just had enough. If by some miracle they happen to see this: please know that Twitter is poorer without you. And that brings me to my fourth resolution: to try to talk to people more and get to know them better. It is what Twitter is particularly good at, after all. Which only leaves me to wish you all, dear friends and readers, a very happy and healthy New Year!

This month’s special offer is for Octopus: Octavius Guy & The Case of the Throttled Tragedienne (#2). When the leading actress dies in mysterious circumstances during a performance of The Duchess of Malfi, Gooseberry feels duty-bound to investigate. It is, after all, a great deal more exciting than the last case he was assigned to: the tracking down of a rich old lady’s errant cat! Offer ends on January 31st 2019, and no, there are no strings attached and no review is required. Phew! You’ll find links and details on my website.

“Historical fact is deftly combined with fiction that makes Octavius’s world a new form of old London that I am eager to visit again. Pour some tea or a wee dram, put your feet up, and enjoy cover to cover.”—Gladread LibraryThing Early Reviewer (5 stars)

Happy reading!
Michael

Find me on my website Michael Gallagher Writes
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