A Tiny ‘Urp’ Escaped #mfrwhooks

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Here’s the next hook from my WIP, which follows immediately after last week’s text. When her alien nation’s queen arrives at Opsie Beaverpaw’s under-construction house, she’s a mess after getting plaster on her face. It turns out the queen isn’t alone:

“You didn’t say you were with someone.” Opsie stood back to let him pass. Maturity, combined with nineteen years, two months and eleven days of disfigurement, hadn’t quite managed to eradicate her youthful conceit; she was tempted to rub more plaster off her cheek, or at least turn her good side toward him.

But on this particular day she felt more cussedness than conceit. She kept her scars toward him.

She revised her initial dislike of him. She approved of his barrel-chested physique and square jaw. All the more reason for him to see the worst of her, to warn him off, so she kept her scars toward him.

Her voice was calm as she said, “Please sit.” She extended her hand toward the newcomer. “I’m Duchess Beaverpaw.”

He shook her hand with a firm, determined grip. “Matthew Verhailey,” he said in an American accent. “From Portland.”

When he left go of her hand, plaster smeared his fingers.

Opsie stifled her giggle, though a tiny urp did escape.

For what it’s worth, I wrote enough words to “win” Camp NaNoWriMo. 51179 words are nothing to sneeze at, and I would’t have written that many without my camp-mates, especially Coleen and Paula — but to declare myself a “winner” seems pretentious. I didn’t actually finish the book.

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Still, I’m close enough to have a decent feel for the book’s finishability, which is excellent. My guess is that I’ll have the first draft  done in 2-3 weeks. It’ll be interesting to see what beta readers say, because the structure and time-frame are a bit more complex that my usual straightforward narratives.

Be sure to check out the hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.