Unspoken Dialogue

“So”, she said, “There’s this guy I really like. We’ve gone out a couple of times and we were chatting about men and women and our backgrounds and he said, ‘For some reason, I seem to date controlling women.’”

She looked at me for my response.

“Well”, I began, “What do you think he’s actually saying?”

“That he seems to attract controlling women.”

“Nope”, I chuckled. “He actually is saying that he thinks all women are controlling. He is letting you know that you won’t be able to control him. You also won’t be able to challenge or engage him in dialogue or contribute to his growth. He will always relate to you as if you were the ‘original controlling woman’ aka ‘Mommy’- who probably grew up herself with a mother whose only expressions were based in rigor and order because order meant safety and safety meant love.”

“He doesn’t seem to see that as a possibility; therefore, he seems to attract ’controlling women’.”

“So, if that sounds awesome to you go for it. By the way, what type of guy do you date?”

She chuckled and sighed… “needy, resentful and unsuccessful men who I make successful and then they break up with me because I’m too controlling.”

End scene.

@CoachMeDave