Effing Feline spontaneously combusts
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, would wish all the dads out there a happy Father’s Day, but my paws are too slippery and sweaty to type.
Depending on which forecast you believe, it’ll be either 114, 116, or 117 degrees today. We poor cats sweat only through the pads of our feet, which is pathetically inadequate for surviving inside an oven.
Today’s snippet skips ahead a bit in the short story Thimbleriggers, contained in Future Love, Ed Hoornaert’s upcoming collection of shorts. Ninety-year-old Kathy is selling her early sexual memories to a would-be pornographer. This memory is from her last year of high school.
A trombone glissando announced the next memory, only a week after her sexual awakening with Lucy Hammond. Background information flooded Aldous: Kathy was in the high school band room, and the band teacher was asking for two after-school volunteers to distribute music into the band folders.
Kathy glanced at the clarinet section, where Lucy rolled her eyes, agreeing the job was for losers. But as Kathy swabbed her flute, the band teacher said, “Thank you, David.”
Her heart skipped several beats. David Hall was a quiet, serious oboist who didn’t know she existed. He wasn’t a brown nose—too much calm confidence for that—yet he always volunteered for thankless tasks. Why? He fit no stereotypes; maybe that was why he captivated her daydreams.
She raised her hand to volunteer, waving her swab like a white flag of sexual surrender.
Effing Feline again. If any of you live in Antarctica, Greenland, or northern Siberia, would you please adopt me? Real quick, before my fur spontaneously combusts?
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sundays posts.
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Future Love is available for pre-order
A spaceman wins the woman of his dreams … but it’s too late. A crook invents a new form of pornography … but it teaches him about love, not sex. A man pursues his beloved beyond death … but finds only the evil in his own heart.
The SF short stories in Edward Hoornaert’s Future Love probe how the future will make today’s romance seem simple and tame by comparison. Think that’s not possible? You have much to learn…
If you crave stories that deal honestly with love’s potential for redemption, you’ll adore Future Love. Seize tomorrow today – pre-order Future Love.
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