Avoiding Indigestion

RESTAURANT MEALS are my biggest discretionary expense. Want me as one of your customers? Here are my seven rules for restaurants:

If I made a reservation, don’t make me wait 10 minutes for a table.Dim the goddamn lights. I look better in the dark. So does your restaurant.Never sell a wine I can find in the liquor store. It’s one thing to suspect you’ve marked up the bottle by 300%. It’s another thing to know with absolute certainty.Never offer a choice of salad or French fries. That’s just cruel.Of course we want to see the dessert menu.I was looking forward to that last sip of wine in the glass you just took away.Thanks for not telling me that you automatically added the tip.