I Wanna Do Bad Things To You

I had the strangest thought last night. While reading a book–which will remain nameless–I realized that while I loved the hero, all manly and in your face and drool-worthy, the heroine was TSTL (too stupid to live). I knew the Happily Ever After requirement would find the poor guy stuck with the wet rag in the end, but my mind started wondering–fantasizing about all the terrible things that could happen to prevent the inevitable. I imagined some pretty twisted scenarios. Think I might need therapy! LOL!

After I closed the book, I laid back and let my mind drift a little more. I considered other books I've read and the protagonists I've wished painful deaths on—Bella Swan, Meredith Gentry, Anita Blake, Sookie Stackhouse , the list goes on. For a moment I thought 'Damn, it's a good thing I don't have characters like that in my books. I would make them suffer.'

Then I recalled all the things I have done to my most beloved characters. Listing them according to how dear they are to me, I realized the torture and tragedy I forced them to live through intensified with my affection. Nothing says I love you like a scalpel or a whip tipped with a hook.

So, in honor of my poor, abused characters, I'd like to dedicate this song: Bad Things by Jace Everett.

*Raises glass of bubbly* May your suffering always be more interesting than the results of your death!

P.S. I know it's I wanna do Bad Things 'With' You. But that didn't go with the point I was trying to make

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