Ashe Vernon's Blog, page 166

I was dating a girl for about a month last year and we ended because she didn't want a relationship. Recently, we slept together again and for the past few months have been meeting up and messaging a lot, and I still want to be with her and she's unclear.

You should be straightforward about what you want. These kinds of situations get messy and painful fast when people aren’t honest. But you need to be prepared for the fact that nothing may have changed on her end; she might still not want a relationship. You have to respect her if she doesn’t.

It’s not worth throwing your heart at someone who won’t be good to it.

I was dating a girl for about a month last year and we ended because she didn't want a relationship. Recently, we slept together again and for the past few months have been meeting up and messaging a lot, and I still want to be with her and she's unclear.

You should be straightforward about what you want. These kinds of situations get messy and painful fast when people aren’t honest. But you need to be prepared for the fact that nothing may have changed on her end; she might still not want a relationship. You have to respect her if she doesn’t.

It’s not worth throwing your heart at someone who won’t be good to it.

So, I'm just now getting out of a very shitty situation. And I'm so happy about it. The problem is that I always ruin my own happiness. For example, I could finally come out to my family and ruin relationships that just started getting better. I could star

Who taught you that you don’t deserve happiness, baby? Who wounded you that way? Addiction, depression–these things are chemical. Overcoming them is difficult and sometimes we return to familiar patterns because we’re hurting. You don’t turn to them because you’re a bad person, you turn to them because you don’t know what else to do. Please seek help, sweetheart. Find a professional who can ease you through this.

And be gentle with yourself. Because you, without a doubt, deserve to be happy.

So, I'm just now getting out of a very shitty situation. And I'm so happy about it. The problem is that I always ruin my own happiness. For example, I could finally come out to my family and ruin relationships that just started getting better. I could star

Who taught you that you don’t deserve happiness, baby? Who wounded you that way? Addiction, depression–these things are chemical. Overcoming them is difficult and sometimes we return to familiar patterns because we’re hurting. You don’t turn to them because you’re a bad person, you turn to them because you don’t know what else to do. Please seek help, sweetheart. Find a professional who can ease you through this.

And be gentle with yourself. Because you, without a doubt, deserve to be happy.

one of my friends is utterly convinced of my homosexuality, and is constantly attempting to prove it. your poem about being pan has helped me, as a (mostly) closeted bisexual, to realize i'm not the only one to deal with this. thank you for everything xoxo

You aren’t alone. Every single pan/bi/poly person I know has experienced exactly what you’re going through. People seem to think they have a right to define other people’s sexualities for them.

Your feelings are valid, your sexuality is valid, and your friend needs to learn to respect you, or else they aren’t a very good friend.

So I'm the one who said the relationship turned into emotional abuse and I should get out of it, well I did. Now I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest because I really did love him. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. He was my everything and

This is the part where you learn to pick up the pieces. This is the part of the story where everything looks bleak, but you will yourself forward. This is the part that looks like it could be an end but it’s only a beginning.

I’m so proud of you. What you’ve already done takes so much strength and so much courage. Leaving situations of emotional abuse is impossibly hard. The worst is over, little dove. Now you just have to let yourself breathe.

So I'm the one who said the relationship turned into emotional abuse and I should get out of it, well I did. Now I feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest because I really did love him. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. He was my everything and

This is the part where you learn to pick up the pieces. This is the part of the story where everything looks bleak, but you will yourself forward. This is the part that looks like it could be an end but it’s only a beginning.

I’m so proud of you. What you’ve already done takes so much strength and so much courage. Leaving situations of emotional abuse is impossibly hard. The worst is over, little dove. Now you just have to let yourself breathe.

What if I don't fucking want anything unless it can be forever? What if being abandoned hurts too much to have it happen again and again?

Human beings aren’t capable of forever, darling. Forever is something no one can give you. People change, grow, move forward. You have to learn to be flexible. It’s not abandonment, it’s growth. Sometimes we are the ones outgrowing the people around us and sometimes we are the ones being outgrown. But either way, there comes a time when the people you loved most are no longer good for you.

It doesn’t make them bad people for leaving. And it doesn’t make you less important for being left.
You are going to have to learn to adapt to the idea of not thinking in forevers. You are going to have to learn to find value in impermanence.

It doesn’t have to be forever to be worth something. It’s very important that you understand that.

I'm tired of not being worthy of people's love. I'm tired of not being enough. I'm tired of having to hear my thoughts of every single second of the day. I'm tired of pretending to be happy. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of

Baby, you have never, ever been anything but worthy. You have ALWAYS been enough. You will always be enough. There is nothing wrong with you. The pain you’re feeling does not define you. You are more than the empty, more than the ache, more than the awful.

Please–look into finding a therapist, or a counselor, or just a friend who will listen. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.

Just please, stay. Whatever you do, stay. The world needs you, even if it doesn’t know how to ask nicely, yet.

I'm tired of not being worthy of people's love. I'm tired of not being enough. I'm tired of having to hear my thoughts of every single second of the day. I'm tired of pretending to be happy. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of

Baby, you have never, ever been anything but worthy. You have ALWAYS been enough. You will always be enough. There is nothing wrong with you. The pain you’re feeling does not define you. You are more than the empty, more than the ache, more than the awful.

Please–look into finding a therapist, or a counselor, or just a friend who will listen. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.

Just please, stay. Whatever you do, stay. The world needs you, even if it doesn’t know how to ask nicely, yet.