Alastair Macartney's Blog, page 3
March 19, 2015
Opportunity: Will You Seize It?
It happened. Yesterday.
I turned 39.
I guess it’s not really a big deal. Fingers crossed I’m not even half way through my life. But 39 means that I’m now less than year away from 40. For those of us that haven’t turned 40 yet, being 40 sounds old. I’m sure, when I do get there, it won’t really feel old. But psychologically, 40 sounds old.
I remember at 20, thinking about someone that was 30. They were old. They were experienced – in life. At least, that’s what I thought.
Then, all of a sudden, I turned 30. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I didn’t feel much different to being in my 20s. And I knew that 40 was a long way away. I had time to play with.
But now it’s almost here. It’s almost upon me and yet I have so much still to live for, to achieve.
But then I remember. I remember what I have done, what I have achieved, what I have accomplished. It’s a lot. I’m not being big headed – sit down with anyone that’s almost 40 and list their personal accomplishments. Even the most mediocre person has achieved a lot. We shouldn’t forget that.
But there’s still so much more. This can fill many people with dismay. People realize that there’s so much more and the reality sinks in. The reality that there’s far too much more and they won’t be able to achieve it all. Life is simply too short.
Or is it? Perhaps the fact that there is so much more is what makes us alive, what fuels us. Perhaps that’s the beauty of it. Perhaps the fact that there are so many opportunities is what makes life so glorious. Perhaps.
The opportunities are there. The first 40 years don’t matter.
Each year, up to now, however old you are, were the building blocks. It doesn’t matter where you are in life. It resets. It starts again.
If you’re a millionaire, billionaire, bankrupt, spouse, parent, happy-go-lucky fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person, happy or even depressed it’s the same thing for you. Life starts from where you are now. Each day is a new day. Each day represents new opportunities.
But there’s one dilemma. It’s a choice. It’s your choice. It’s up to you. You can seize these opportunities. Or you can let them sail right past you.
I’m going to choose to seize opportunities. What about you?
Main photo by Kevin Dooley.
The post Opportunity: Will You Seize It? appeared first on Perfect Madness.
March 17, 2015
Sharing the Green Smoothie Way on St. Patty’s Day
Green is on everyone’s mind today, but before you all head out to the bar tonight in search of tinted beer, I want to share about another type of green drink, one that is healthy, delicious, and life-changing.
What in the world is a Green Smoothie?
Green smoothies are, to be honest, the best start to your day possible. They are all the raw nutrients you need from fruit and vegetables in a yummy, super convenient source. A simple google search of green smoothie, or juicing, will leave you with more sources than you would ever want to go through. But I want to point you in the right direction; so here is your Simple Green Smoothie 101.
Simple green smoothies, live-up to the name. They are easily made with a regular blender, do not require purchasing any difficult to source ingredients, and offer fruit, vegetables, and protein in healthy raw forms, that you can make in a under a few minutes and sip on your daily commute. They take away the ability to make excuses for not getting your daily 5 in!
A few important details; you do not need an expensive blender or juicer. The basic recipe is always the same; leafy greens + fruit + liquid base (+/- superfoods). You vary any of these three to create your ideal flavours, or follow one of the zillions of recipes provided on the website.
Why did I start drinking Green Smoothies?
Early last year I had the best news ever; I was expecting my son Finn! This was shortly followed by the worst news ever; the term morning sickness is a terrible lie. A more accurate title would be “all day nausea that prevents you from ever being able to eat the foods you normally love until you pass into the second trimester.” Being a vegan for many years, I never wondered how I would get in my five a day, I lived off of fruit and veg! But now, in the time in my life when I wanted to eat the healthiest and give my son the best start possible, the sight of any fruit or vegetable sent me gagging to the nearest bathroom.
Laying in bed one day scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came across a dear old friend; Stephanie Gomez’s status update about her 30 Day Simple Green Smoothie challenge. The status included a tantalising picture of her smoothie creation and the recipe. Having gone a few weeks without keeping any fruit or veg down, I thought I would give a smoothie a go. I didn’t have much to lose at that point!
So I signed up for my first 30 day challenge. This is where my green smoothie journey began; a 30 Day Simple Green Smoothie Challenge. Every week I was emailed recipes for 5 new smoothies, and even an organised shopping list of what I would need to purchase that week! For free. That is right. Absolutely no cost. The kind people behind Simple Green Smoothies promote their lifestyle simply because they believe in its goodness, and they want to spread that goodness to as many other people as they can.
I was hooked from the first sip. I managed to drink 2 smoothies every day for the rest of my pregnancy. My son was born healthy and happy, and I was able to get all the nutrients I needed without gaining excessive weight. I completely credit Simple Green Smoothies for helping me have a comfortable pregnancy, which allowed be to stay energised, active and fit throughout.
Why I keep drinking Simple Green Smoothies
Now that my little man is out of my tummy, he keeps me busy to say the least. Our nutrition is still directly linked, as whatever I eat goes into the milk he drinks. With little time, and a pretty decent level of sleep deprivation, I can’t always make a perfectly balanced meal, or find time to eat it if I do. But I know if I have even one smoothie every day I am giving my son the healthy diet he needs to keep growing strong. And let me tell you its working! The little one has consistently gained weight since the day he was born, even in the first week when most babies lose some. He is always bright eyed and inquisitive in the world around him. I know that I continue to give us both a nutritious diet even when time is limited.
I Can’t Express My Gratitude Enough
Simple Green Smoothies have changed my life. They have made it possible for me to have the peace of mind every single day that I am doing right by not only my own health and longevity, but my the growth and development of my son. There are not enough words to express my gratitude. So think Green today; Simple GREEN Smoothies, and go now to their website, change your life today, join the movement!
Note: In some areas of our website we use affiliate links. Of course, we’ll only ever link to products and services that we love. In the case of Simple Green Smoothies we’re not an affiliate. We get absolutely no financial reward at all from sharing this information. We just love their website and the information that they share.
If you love what they’re doing then help us share the knowledge and share this post too.
Main photo by Wild Tofu.
The post Sharing the Green Smoothie Way on St. Patty’s Day appeared first on Perfect Madness.
March 12, 2015
Why You Should Step Outside Your Own Comfort Zone
People often ask me why their need to push their own boundaries. They ask why they should step outside of their own comfort zone.
People often tell me that it’s difficult and it’s a challenge. They wonder why they should go to that effort. They wonder what the gains are. They wonder if it’s worth the effort.
People often tell me that they’re comfortable where they are so why bother.
Why Not?
Why not? I’m serious. Why not? Why not push your boundaries? Why not step outside of your own comfort zone? I’m not trying to be flippant. This is a serious question that anyone sat happily within their comfort zone should ask themselves.
Do you want to live a life where every year is the same? Or do you want 60, 70, 80 or even 90 years that are different, adventurous, exciting, challenging?
Sure, there should be time to sit down, put your feet up, relax and get comfortable. We all need our down time. But there should also be time to live. To truly live.
Life certainly throws enough curve balls at us. Life is full of its own challenges. Yet to truly find ourselves we need to knowingly push ourselves. We cannot truly know where our limits are until we dance on the edge of precipice, balance precariously on the border of the unknown and perhaps, on occasion, stumble across that invisible boundary and fail.
Failure
We don’t truly learn about ourselves until we’ve delved into that unknown, pushed our own limits and stepped outside of our own comfort zone. We don’t truly learn about ourselves until, on that journey, that life journey, we’ve failed along the way.
Many of the stronger willed of you will already know that failure is not an option. Yet this is short sighted. It’s a great attitude to find solutions and ensure success, but failure is ok. I’ll say that again – failure is OK.
The fear of failure just stagnates us. It holds us back. It prevents us from reaching our goals and our dreams. It stifles us.
Instead of thinking in terms of failure, think in terms of experiments. It’s OK for experiments not to work. It’s OK for experiments to fail.
Make it OK if things don’t work out the first time for you. At least you tried. And you can try again.
It’s better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.
How?
We’re all different. We all have different goals and dreams. We all have different fears, different limits, different tolerances. You need to find yours.
You don’t need to step up to it straight away and cross that border. Start small. Find a small challenge. Something that you might not normally do. Maybe it’s speaking to a stranger. Maybe it’s learning a phrase in a new language. Find something small that works for you and is just a small bit of a challenge.
When you push yourself just a small bit, it feels rewarding. When you achieve your self esteem and confidence will improve. As you chip away at these smaller challenges you’re empowering yourself to take on larger ones. You’re setting yourself up to really step outside of your own comfort zone and to really push your own boundaries.
Give it a go. You might just surprise yourself. Maybe staying comfortable isn’t as comfortable after all.
Photo by Lars Plougman.
The post Why You Should Step Outside Your Own Comfort Zone appeared first on Perfect Madness.
March 10, 2015
The Best Gifts A Mother Can Give
The night before my Mom flew back to the states at the end of her 2 week Christmas stay with us Macartneys, she was spending every second she could with her grandson. Soaking up every ounce of his tiny essence possible, to store away in her heart and keep her going until their next visit together. When it came to bedtime, she chose a book to read to Finn which he had received as a Christmas present from his Aunt and Uncle “Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You” by Nancy Tillman. After she read the first line, I knew we were heading for trouble;
“I wanted you more than you will ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go.”
The tears started to flow from our eyes, and gentle sobs could be heard in-between pages.
“My love is so high, and so wide, and so deep, it’s always there, even when you’re asleep….If you’re still my small babe or you’re all the way grown, my promise to you is you’re never alone. You are my angel, my darling, my star … and my love will find you, wherever you are.”
She kissed his forehead goodbye and quickly departed from the room before the real tears took over. I don’t know if you ever understand how much your Mother loves you, until you are one, and you feel the connection across generations. The never-ending love she has for you, an idea of what she has done for you, and finally how much your offspring mean to her, simply because they came from you.
Mothering Sunday
It’s not Mother’s day in the States until May, so I have some time yet to place the order of flowers, and find the perfect present to send my mom to celebrate her awesomeness. But this Mothering Sunday here in the UK, I am thinking of the two gifts my mother has given me. Two gifts I will strive my whole life to ensure I give to my own child.
The First; I Never Doubted Her Love For One Minute
I am told by many that I was the worst baby there ever was. Demanding, high-strung, and opinionated since the day I was born. Yet, the words my mother read aloud to Finn that night before she had to leave us, could not ring more true. There has never been a moment in this life where I doubted my mother’s love. Her devotion has been a constant which I can fall back on when times are tough. Her support has been the foundation in which I could ground my roots, and spread my branches up and up into the sky.
We all know allies are a significant source of strength for us all, and for me, my mother is a prime example of that. From teaching me to tie my shoelaces, to encoruaging me to go to Vet School, even though it meant I would be an ocean away, she has made me a firm believer that it is with a helping hand that we can achieve anything.
My mother gave me this gift, and now I will try to give it to my own son, as well as all the other allies in my life. To be a rock to others when they need it. To have a set of good listening ears, an open heart, and a pair of hands eager to help.
The Second; My Mom Is The Happiest Person I know
The woman never stops smiling. The woman never stops laughing. The woman never stops seeing the positive side. This is not because my Mom has lived an easy life, in actuality she has had more than her fair share of hardships; raising three children on her own, often working two jobs, and helping her own mother battle cancer three times to name only a few.
Despite all of this she is happy. Why? Because she actively chooses to be. Her famous quote is “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.” I must have heard it a million times in my childhood, from when I fell and scraped a knee to when I got my heart broken for the first time. She refuses to let the negative in her life grab hold of her and force her to spiral down. She accepts what happens, the lessons it provides, and moves on.
Not only are happier people scientifically more attractive to others in their life, they make us want to be happier ourselves. So I thank my mom for teaching me that happiness is a choice.
Now It’s My Turn
These gifts are better than flowers that will wilt, for they live on in my mind forever. My mother has taught me to be a good ally and to choose happiness. Now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to teach my son the same two lessons, and to use these lessons to make the world a better place in any way I can.
Main photo by Clint Sharp.
The post The Best Gifts A Mother Can Give appeared first on Perfect Madness.
March 3, 2015
Why I am Teaching My Son To Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
Today my little Monkey is 5 whole months old, and I have to share that I have a new addiction. The first time I saw Finn’s smile, my heart melted, and when I hear the occasional giggle now, the same affect is achieved; instant puddle of melted cardiac material. But I have to admit something that I don’t know if most mom’s would agree with, my son’s smile is not my favourite sight to behold. I know, I know, lock me away in parenting prison for I have committed a crime in admitting that fact.
My new addiction is my son’s excited face, well actually it’s not as simple as excitement. It’s not the same expression one would have if you put a giant chocolate cake in front of them, or a boob in his case. No it’s more complicated than simple excitement. The story behind the wide focused eyes, and tiny mouth in an “o” shape, goes deeper. It’s excitement brought on by experiencing something novel. It’s the thrill of holding a new toy for the first time, and the expectation of discovering how it works. It’s the wonder at seeing a motorcycle vroom past for the first time. It’s his adventure face.
The Role of Adventure in Our lives
Adventure is all about pushing boundaries, traveling to new locals, taking risk, and engaging in leisure activities, all with the goal of refusing the mundane, discovering and creating excitement and enhancing pleasure wherever we can. There are many ways to make our lives more adventurous, from seeing your own neighborhood through the eyes of a tourist, to avoiding tourist-like package deal travel and immersing yourself in new cultures when you go away.
I want my son to seek out adventure. Yes selfishly, this is because I am addicted to his adventure face. Truthfully though the addiction belongs to what that face symbolizes. I know when that expression spreads like a wave of exhilaration across his face we are sharing the joy only adventure can provide.
Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
Living life in search of adventure is not for everyone. Other’s will judge, they always do. If we want to be true adventurers we have to look past the heavy cloud of other people’s opinions, until we are standing in the clear skies of our own desire. Adventure is waiting in our life everyday if we are only willing to be brave enough to embrace novel, intimidating, and maybe even seemingly risky experiences.
I am completely uncoordinated. I mean utterly incapable of keeping time, or following dance instructions in the slightest. But I recently took the leap and completed my first Sling Swing class with Finn. Why? You guessed it, I was after that adventure face. I wanted to teach my son to literally dance like no one is watching, and have fun no matter how out of your element you may feel.
Slung Up
The reward for my bravery was stupendous. Let me start at the end and work our way around for dramatic effect. Imagine a tall incredibly energetic woman with a small toddler “slinging it” on her back, while she is mobbed by a group of 15 moms, all similarly “slung up” with babies of their own. The instructor Lynsey’s warm Scottish accent fills the ears and the heart like warm butter on toast, smooth, hearty and pleasing. I am a sucker for accents after all. Everyone is eager to say to her personally how much they loved her class, and to seek her expertise on the art of baby wearing. Beads of sweat adorning my brow, and a baby who won’t stop smiling, I stood in the “Lynsey queue”, just as excited to share my praise and sign-up for the course.
Back to the beginning; the Sling Swing classes begin with circle time and singing of everyone’s favorite nursery rhymes to get us all in a jovial mood. Then we pause to all get slung up, a phrase which encompasses the putting on of the widest range of baby carrying devices you can imagine; every shape, color, pattern, and design were represented. Then the fun really starts, with a 30 minute session of solid dancing. Fantastic, seductive, and silly, could all be used to describe the unique collection of dance moves, yet none seemed to disappoint baby or mommy. Songs ranged from hip-hop to the classics, and singing along was highly encouraged.
I left the class with a feeling of accomplishment, peace, and exhaustion. I may have nearly killed a few of the unfortunate mom’s who chose dancing spots next to my own, but I throw myself into the deep end, I really went for it; and the reward was seeing Finn’s adventure face staring back-up at me while we did our best Grease Lightening.
Main image by Morten Rand-Hendriksen.
The post Why I am Teaching My Son To Dance Like Nobody’s Watching appeared first on Perfect Madness.
February 26, 2015
Making Allies – Quick Impact Resources
Allies is one of the 4 pillars of Perfect Madness. It’s about love, networking, family and friendships. Perfect Madness is a frame of mind and, as we escape the confines of conformity and head off to live the life that we choose to live, having allies to support us, to be there with us, to help us along our journey, is fundamentally important.
In January we spent the month focussing on Balance. I wrote a summary post about it here. It proved to be a really popular resource broken down into the physical and the mental aspects. This month we’ve focused on Allies and so I am doing the same again. This post is the summary of what we’ve done this month. If something particularly resonates for you then click on the link to find out more.
The Love Angle
During this month of Allies, Elyse has had a strong focus on Love. She’s done so with the help of Dustin Reichmann and his great book, the 15-Minute Marriage Makeover. You don’t need to be married for these tips and tricks to work for you. In just 15 minutes a day you can really add strength to your relationship – Elyse and I are proof that this stuff works. If there are areas that need work or if you have a strong, solid relationship there is value here for you.
Communication. Taking a step back and focussing on communication sets the ground for what’s to come.
Real Romance For Real Busy Couples. The best bit about this, certainly from my point of view as romance doesn’t come naturally to me, is that Elyse, and of course Dustin, show you how to make romance into simple romance. It doesn’t have to take a huge amount of effort to really add value here.
Deeper Intimacy. It can sound a little awkward but there are some hidden gems here.
Couples Finances: Breaking Down The Walls and Finding Your Dream. Working out what you want, that dream lifestyle, means you can focus your finances accordingly.
The Remaining Allies
At Perfect Madness, just like in the sub-title of my book, we endeavor to escape the confines of conformity. I’ve approached allies in that respect and written posts that look at things slightly differently from the traditional view point. I hope they spark a few ideas and perhaps help as we look at age old problems from different view points.
An Unconventional Way To Deepen Your Friendships. This technique is something that I’ve been working on for a while but really started to understand its power when I stumbled across a great post on Medium.
How To Be Happier and Add Value To Your Friends In Just 5-Minutes A Day. Become happier – add value to your friends – just 5-minutes a day. Sounds like a no-brainer to me. It actually stems from being selfish and is based on a technique from bestselling Author Shawn Achor and his book The Happiness Advantage.
The Networking Secret. It’s actually all about authenticity. Makes sense really. Read the post to get a bit more.
Your Turn
Now it’s time to take action. If you’ve not clicked on one of the posts already, scroll back up and pick one that resonates particularly with you. There are actions that you can take to add value in your life and they don’t take much time or effort.
Main photo by Marjan Lazarevski.
The post Making Allies – Quick Impact Resources appeared first on Perfect Madness.
February 24, 2015
Couples Finances: Breaking Down The Walls And Finding Your Dream – 15-Minute Marriage Makeover
We have reached the end of our 28 day Love challenge! The last week, in this month devoted to strengthening the most important relationship in our lives, is all about the Benjamins. Money, and how to manage the household finances, is one of the single most common sources of arguments between couples. In fact, its the number one reason for divorce in the USA. That staggering fact alone, is motivation enough to make sure that money is a topic which can be discussed openly and honestly.
My Favorite Task this Week: What is your dream lifestyle?
When I read the headline for this task, I already knew my husband and I would love it. Why? Because for better or worse we are dreamers. One of our favorite games when on a long walk in the countryside, or a road trip, is what would we do if we won the lottery. We each take turns going over the increasingly detailed, and ever-evolving lists of activities we would do and purchases we would make.
This task is different though, its not about how would you spend millions, but how your dream life would look. We all jump to beach houses and butlers, but would that really be a fulfilling life in the long run? This task involves taking a proactive approach, and turning our dream life into actionable goals we can achieve to make it a reality.
To start with we need to look objectively at our everyday life now, and decide what we like about it and what we don’t. By answering the following question the author of 15-Minute Marriage Makeover, Dustin Riechmann, is helping you think of your current lifestyle and how you would like it to change now and in the future:
What does success look like for your marriage and your family?
First you define your unique family picture of success. Don’t be afraid to disagree or to even shock. Healthy long lasting love is all about compromise and communication, as we learned in week one. Once you have a clear definition, you can break the goal down into steps and make a dream life your life.
That Was Fun!
I can’t thank Dustin enough for his amazing book full of fun and new ways to connect with your partner. My husband and I enjoyed all the tasks, and highly recommend the book to others.
I do have to say that at Perfect Madness we believe love is love, and can be shared between any kind of couple imaginable. So we respect the author’s traditional Christian values, and feel simply that the message can be expanded to all types of couples; married or not, and of any sexual orientation.
Main photo by gingerchrismc.
The post Couples Finances: Breaking Down The Walls And Finding Your Dream – 15-Minute Marriage Makeover appeared first on Perfect Madness.
February 19, 2015
The Networking Secret
There are plenty books out there on networking. There are YouTube videos. There are courses. There are whole blogs dedicated solely to networking. It’s a huge market and a growing industry.
Sure, there are tools and tips and things you should say and things you shouldn’t say and ways to shake hands and when to hand out your business card and when to take a business card and what to do with those business cards and what to wear and how to start a conversation.
There are plenty of experts to tell you how to do this. They’ve got the moves, the tips and tricks to guarantee your success, even when you’re not even networking.
It’s true. Most of these techniques work for a lot of people. Not for everyone, but for most people. We’re all different and we have to find the ones that work for us.
I’m not going to tell you how to do any of this. For me, they all seem to be missing one fundamental piece.
The Missing Secret
The tips and tricks might focus on being more productive (organizing your business card collection or following up with your contacts) or on how to make small talk. Many of us need these tips.
Yet lots of the focus is on the short term. It’s on quickly making contact with someone and then working that contact. It’s a short term strategy all about taking.
The missing secret is authentic networking.
Authentic Networking
Your network will work for you when they know who you are, when they like who you are, when your goals can be aligned, when, along the road, there’s value for them too. This is about giving. It’s about paying it forward.
In adopting this strategy you’ll be reducing the broad pool of your network. There will be many that these other techniques would encourage you to network with. But what’s the point in having someone in your network that, in the longer term, you have little in common with and neither of you really have much interest in the other one?
Authentic networking is about being you. It’s about being an honest person, a good person. It’s about humbly allowing people to realize that.
If you have something in common with your network, and you might be surprised what that could be, you’re more likely to be engaging with them, and them with you. They’re more likely to like you and you like them. The ideas you share are more likely to resonate.
Adding Value
And why would your network want to help you out anyway? Why should they offer you anything? So many of these networking books and videos focus on what you can get out of networking and how to get as much as you can from it.
Maybe this is backwards. Maybe it’s about what you can give, what you can invest. Maybe you need to give before you can receive. Maybe the more you give the more you can receive.
If you’re lacking a particular skill or attribute that you can contribute directly to someone in your network then you need to think broader. Perhaps the fact that you’ve done some voluntary work for charity is enough to show you’re giving or maybe you know something about astrology and the son of the person you’re talking to also has an interest. There are thousands of ways that connections can be created, you just need to delve deep enough and find the value.
Add the value first. Add it unequivocally and without any expectation of it being returned – that’s when the value will be completely authentic.
You’ll be surprised that the favor, one day, will be returned. Perhaps when you least expect it.
Main photo by thinkpanama.
The post The Networking Secret appeared first on Perfect Madness.
February 17, 2015
Deeper Intimacy: 15-Minute Marriage Makeover
For week 2 of our one month 15-Minute Marriage Makeover challenge my husband and I focused on the intimacy in our lives.
Intimacy is not simply sharing a fiery time between the sheets, but it is the one component of your relationship that sets it apart from all others in your life. Of course we are close to friends and family, but it is your husband, wife, or long term partner, that you can be completely relaxed, open and comfortable with. Intimacy and sex are inextricably linked, but you cannot focus on improving your sex life alone, and hope to restore the intimacy with your partner.
I know I take for granted that my husband and I will always have an intimate relationship. My love grows for him everyday, we are connected forever through our marriage, and he is the most handsome man on the planet – of course we will have an intimate relationship. I always believed that this was an innate part of our dynamic and one that didn’t require investment. But I can see easily how life, time constraints, and exhaustion can start a leak in your intimacy reserve tank.
My Favorite Task this Week: Make Your Bedroom a Sanctuary
Dustin’s Riechmann’s book the 15-Minute Marriage Makeover provides some great inspiration. One of the best parts of going away on vacation is the the relaxation a hotel room immediately provides. It’s free of clutter, clean, devoid of distraction, and decorated to promote calm and soothing feelings. Our bedroom on the other hand, is the dumping zone for everything. Baby toys, piles of books in various stages on being read, my cross trainer, and a giant TV. Its also for some reason the place I care less about how it looks. I prioritize decorating the living room, or guest room in a pleasing fashion. For who? Other people. Yet I leave the dregs of the furniture and the decor for our bedroom. That doesn’t seem right.
Hotel rooms are known to promote intimacy between couples because they are a sanctuary of serenity. So we may not be able to add a jacuzzi bathtub, install a balcony or place a beach outside our window, but this doesn’t mean we can’t make our bedroom into a sanctuary. Prioritize our comfort and pleasure, not just others who come to stay.
So we used our 15 minutes this week to remove all clutter, did away with distraction and went on a treasure hunt for sanctuary decor. We started with putting away the baby toys into the nursery, and the books beside our bed except the two we are actually reading. The cross trainer and TV were moved into the study. A search through the house helped us identify a few candles, pictures, and a plant which spoke of peaceful hotel room vibes. We have created a space now which is clean, minimal and inviting.
Stay tuned for Next Week: Finances!
See the last two posts in this 15-Minute Marriage Makeover series:
Real Romance For Real Busy Couples
Communication
Main photo by bedzine.
The post Deeper Intimacy: 15-Minute Marriage Makeover appeared first on Perfect Madness.
February 12, 2015
How To Be Happier And Add Value To Your Friends In Just 5-Minutes A Day
I don’t know if, as you get older, life gets busier. I don’t know if it’s just how society has developed into more of a digital age and we struggle to get used to it, less and less able to disconnect. I don’t know if this causes shorter attention spans. I don’t know if we’re just failing to adapt adequately. I don’t know if it’s because we try to apply our old ability to multi-task in a faster moving environment that doesn’t cater for it.
There’s a lot I don’t know.
But I do know that I feel busier than I used to be. I do know that I take on too much.
So What?
I decided that I need to fix this. I decided that, to do so, I’d need to be selfish.
The Selfish Question
I asked myself how I can get more out of my friends. It really is a selfish question.
But, if they really are my friends, then they’ll help me. And, equally, if I’m really their friend, I’ll help them.
I’ll Help Them
That’s when it clicked. That last part. If I’m really their friend, I’ll help them. The more I put in to the relationships with my friends, the more I’ll get out. The more I can help them, the more value I can add, the better they become, the more they’ll help me. And, of course, as I talk about in this blog post, by helping others I’ll feel good too. The more I give, the more value I can add.
I have the intention to help but I’m busy. Not only that, but friends are all in different locations. I don’t see them every day. We don’t communicate as much as we used to. These days it’s not as easy to add the value that a friend really should.
The EMail
I’m short of time. I want to add value to my friends. It’s a tough predicament.
Shawn Achor, bestselling author of The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, has the answer (he has many answers in his book but I’m taking just one small part).
Thanks to Shawn, I have a plan. It will take me less than five minutes a day.
Here’s what I’m going to do. Every day this month I’m going to start my day by emailing a friend. I’m going to be grateful. I’m going to thank them for some way that they’ve added value to my life. I won’t be asking for anything. This is about gratitude.
This is selfish too. By exercising this gratitude, by being thankful, by expressing it, I’ll feel good. Without my friends even doing anything at all, I’ll be getting benefit. It’s a win win all round.
What About You?
Why not join me? Spend the rest of this month by starting your day off by sending a couple of lines in an email expressing your gratitude, by being thankful. Stick it out for at least 21 days to really get the benefit. 28 days would be even better. A whole year would be awesome.
I’d love it if you took action and joined me with this. It’s a great challenge and won that we can all get quick wins from.
Let me know how it goes.
Main photo by Eric.
The post How To Be Happier And Add Value To Your Friends In Just 5-Minutes A Day appeared first on Perfect Madness.
