Betty Adams's Blog, page 76

How Big is a Nope?

“Introducing the Cecropia silkmoth, North America’s largest native moth, with a female wingspan reaching six inches. These striking moths live all across the Eastern United States and are one of over 1,860 species of Lepidoptera (Moths and Butterflies) found in the park! You can protect these beautiful insects by capturing them only in photographs. What type of Lepidoptera have you seen in the park? Photo by Jessie Snow at Sugarlands Visitor Center.”


To some even the smallest of spiders is too big. It is a many eyed nope. But general consensus is that any spider who cannot comfortably sit on a quarter is firmly in NOPE territory. Ants are less bothersome but a solid inch long carpenter ant (and anything bigger) inches into nope.
Is there a nope size for butterflies?
FYI the worlds largest known butterflies are over a foot across and samples had to be taken with a shotgun because of how high they fly. Remember that scene in the Hobbit where Bilbo climbs that tree in the dark forest to spy out the lay of the land and meets all those giant black butterflies at the top of the canopy? That’s where that came from. 

In Memoriam RESPECT

No thank you Youtube. I do not want to know what Forbes thought of her net worth ten years ago. No, I do not want to hear an interview from CNN from fifteen years ago. I do not care what world leader got emotional at the sound of her voice. I truly do not want to know what Twitter has it's pantaloons in a bunch about. In short your search page one is useless to me. 

What do I want? What do I really, really want? 

I want to blast RESPECT till my speakers blow out, while I dance madly around my apartment, trying to ignore the hole in the fabric of reality that just formed. . 

Google at Your Own Risk

Wet Koala 
Mangy Bear
Stressed Hag Fish 
Anything Without its Skin On

A short list of things you really shouldn't search when you are alone in the house at night. 

How Do You Hide A Dragon?

So somewhere in a thick stack of stories that are yet to be written is a modern fantasy work that involves your average, red blooded, American soldier, who happens to be a dragon. Raised in the Midwest, went to a one room school-house, Johnny Cash, baseball, and apple pie. 
Now here is a question. How would that work in the modern world? Fifty years ago some cryptid aspect of a story could be written off as - "I grew up out in the Ozarks." But with an endless parade of cellphone cameras, satellites overhead constantly, and hunter's trail cams everywhere how could a full sized dragon hide it's existence for the 18+ years required to reach maturity? 

Other Skins

Keep your eyes on the ground as the seasons move from summer into fall. A lot of little critters are shedding their skins and leaving them laying around. 

Humans Are Weird IRL - Social Expectations

​Apparently there are social *expectations* when you begin to master lucid dreaming.
 
Me to Coworkers: “Guess what! I had a lucid dream last night!”
Coworker #1: “Cool! What did you do?”
Me: “I played Tetris! I cleared three lines before I got so excited I woke up!”
All my coworkers stare at me in mild confusion and horror.
Coworker #2: “You didn’t fly?”
 
…
Look, for thirty beautiful seconds all of reality was a giant Tetris game, I controlled it with my mind, and I was lucid enough to understand how awesome it was. Who needs to fly? 

Ancient Books

Just a friendly reminder that the Book of Kells is rather awesome. It has history. It has mystery. It has fanfic. (In the form of a full length animated movie.) 

Alien Nope

Quilx'tch greets his human friends and suggests that he might be a Yep!
A little wisdom from the internet to help that process. 

Earth is Space Australia - Get Along Little Doggies

Why do humans follow laws? 

Cows. 

Your hands sweat. Your legs shake. You left your companions far behind. The police have them now. You thought you got away. They wouldn't rat on you. You thought you were safe. Then you saw them...unfortunately they say you first. Now they are coming. 
RUN.

At least the laws about not carjacking anyway. 

A herd of cows herded a (suspected) carjacker right into the arms of the police. 

No seriously. 

​Watch and learn why the farmers are so dang stern about closing the gate. 

Pocket Gopher

This is in fact a Mazama Pocket Gopher (Thomomys mazama). It is a cute, fat, snuffly, little critter that kills White Bark Pines (Pinus albus) and digs holes for scientists to step in. 
No matter how tempting it is please do not put it in  your pocket.