Betty Adams's Blog, page 77

Humans are Weird - That is not a Snake

Humans are Weird – That is Not a Snake


“It’s cool guys!” Sergeant Grimes waved up at the tree like plants that now hid two flights of the Winged.
A bright copper head about the size of a golf ball poked out of a cluster of mauve leaves and twin black eyes glared down at him from under ten sensory horns.
“If it is all cool,” Twenty-five-clicks demanded. “Then why did you just leap half your height into air and scream out a profanity?”
“There was a cable on the ground,” Grimes said pointed down at the ground.
He bent down and scooped up the length of cable, holding it up for the flights to see. Slowly more heads popped out of the foliage and glared at the item. Grimes stifled a laugh at the image of a tree full of angry berries.
“Why,” Twenty-five-clicks asked as he fluttered down to land on Grime’s shoulder, “did you display a fantastic leap, for a human, over a harmless piece of trash?”
“I thought it was a snake,” Grimes said with a shrug.
He shoved the cable into his backpack as the rest of the flights circled around him.
“That,” Twenty-five-clicks said, “looks nothing like the three other items that you claimed triggered this ‘snake response’.”
“Does to a human,” Grimes replied cheerfully. “And besides, there are lots of snakes. Could look like most any crawly thing.”
“Or it is a complicated plot to frighten our species away from this horrific planet full of snakes,” a voice muttered from the trees.
“No snakes in the north and south,” Grimes corrected as he started walking again.
“You mean the places that are constantly covered in ice,” another voice demanded.
“Look,” Grimes said with a shrug, “it’s a choice. You live where the air hurts your face, or you live where you might get a death bite by a nope-rope at any step.”
Twenty-five-clicks bit back a hiss and reminded himself that the human made them safer. He could put up with the false alerts so long as the human did spot the predators when they appeared. 

As Sparks Fly Upward

Humans are born to trouble. 

How old is this idea?

We don't exactly know, but several thousand years at least. 

Story Idea - Invisible Housemates

The main character thinks they have a housemate. 
Strange food comes and goes in the refrigerator.
The dryer lint is sometimes colors you don't wear. 
Half the rent is paid every month (by direct deposit).  
Sometimes there is the noise of movement at night. 
Once there was a pair of sneakers (size 9.5) left in the living room. 
There is another set of dishes in the cupboards. 
But the main character has never actually seen or talked to them. 

Shhhh! Fall is coming!

Disposing of Bodies

When creating a fictional world it is important to hash out what happens to dead bodies.
What? You  say you're not the sort of author to kill off any of your characters? Well okay. But what about animals? Insects? What happened to your characters great-great-grandfathers? 
What is the religious significance of the event of death?
For other worlds how does the decay process work? 
How do people react when they see a dead animal?
Do transportation routes result in dead animals (roadkill) in your world? 
Who is in charge of disposing of dead animals?
Is there a taboo about touching the dead insects that coat vehicles? 
It is a fun world building exercise to dispose of a few bodies. 

Humans are Weird - Here There Be Dragons

Humans are Weird – Here There Be Dragons
The humans on the base were excited. No one was particularly concerned about this fact, yet. The planet they were on was mild even by the standards of the Undulates who found a mere two degrees of temperature drift uncomfortable. The base was well build and meant to provide comfort and protection in equal parts. Most importantly the base commander was a Shatar with half a lifetime of experience dealing with human madness. All factors considered the inhabitants of the base were interested and watchful.
Gr’ska had not yet determined what the humans were excited about but the general emotional expressions were smiles and laughter and light steps so he was hopeful that it was to be a pleasant surprise. Still hope was one thing, evidence was another. Which was why he had sought out the apparent source of the expectation.
“Friend Helen,” Gr’ska called out as he skittered up to her, all six of his motile legs working overtime to keep up with her bipedal stride. “May I speak to you?”
“Sure thing Grits buddy!” Helen called out.
 There was bright energy in her voice and Gr’ska felt his own spirits lift at the sound. He leapt eagerly into the hand she proffered and perched there as she brought him up to her face.
“What do you want to know?” She asked.
“It has been noted that the humans seem to be expecting something,” Gr’ska pointed out. “I would like to know what you are anticipating.”
“Well Grits!” Helen said, her voice interrupted by a giggle. “We weren’t sure it was going to work out so we didn’t say anything but my request for a new pet finally came through.”
“Ah,” Gr’ska said bringing his primary manipulators up to his mandibles. “A pet is a companion animal yes?”
“Yep!” Helen said brightly. Her head nodded eagerly and her brilliant gold head covering bounced entrancingly. “We don’t dare bring any Earth creatures to this world. They would muck up the ecosystem pretty bad so one of the domestication crews went out to the southern seas to look for something pet-worthy. Well they found a nice little warm-blooded lizard thing that fits all the criteria and because it needs to be tested out on-planet before they go off world this base and me!” Her voice rose and she skipped a little, “gets to test out the first pet-forms!”
“And this creature is arriving when?” Gr’ska asked cautiously.
He knew what humans considered suitable pets.
“Now!” Helen nearly squealed out. “The crate is landing now.”
Gr’ska realized that Helen’s steps had taken them to the transport bay and indeed there was a carrier drone approaching with a crate about the size of an Undulate. A low hiss came from the crate as it settled onto the reception platform.
“Uppsie!” Helen called out as she set Gr’ska on her shoulder. “I can’t wait to see my new baby.”
Gr’ska watched as she opened the crate and tenderly pulled out a horrifying creature of the abyss. Twin pairs of forward facing hunter eyes blinked at him. At him. It seemed to be ignoring its new master as she cooed over it. It’s well defined, human like muscles tensed and relaxed under its shimmering opalescent skin. The scales that covered the skin gave the beast a dark blue coloration that shifted as Helen stroked her hands over it.
“Isn’t he adorable?” Helen crooned.
“Adorable,” Gr’ska automatically agreed.
The animal flicked a forked tongue out of his mouth and pulled its lips back to reveal dozens of razor sharp teeth.
“Adorable,” Gr’ska whispered as he slunk back under Helen’s hair. 

Busting Those Myths

Or rather  the Astounding Chris Hadfield clarifies some science. 
Myths:
Busted
Proven
Oh no, its much worse than that.
Sure
Yup
​Oh boy, you don't even know! 

Tuesday Thoughts - Dead Moles

Coworker #4: "I do not want to see a picture of a dead mole."
Me: "Okay, how bout a live frog?" 

Boss Lady: "You don't need to fill out an injury claim?"
Me: "Nah, I just took it easy."

What my crew lead said: "You just take it easy!" 
What my crew lead was thinking: "Please don't do anything that would make you need to fill out an injury claim." 

Me: "Oh, how clever! He put the body in the crawdad trap!" 
Coworkers #1-3: "...."

Crew Lead: "Nice farmers tan!"
Me: "Ha! This is nothing. Last week I looked like Neapolitan ice-cream!" 

Humans are Weird - Fist Bump

Humans are Weird – Fist Bump


“I doubt the trade agreements will change much in the next two days,” Tra’sk said as he adjusted his perch on his human friend’s shoulder. “It is a holiday for the Shatar and the human offices are going to be focused on restructuring their computer servers.”
“You are probably right,” Damian muttered,
After this short response he went back to chewing gently on his lower lip. A fascinating habit that Tra’sk was glad he had a chance to observe closely. It was amazing how the gleaming opalescent teeth caused no damage to the soft flesh of the lip. Tra’sk noted another human approaching, Wilma he thought her name was, but neither she nor Damian had lifted their directional eyes to note the other’s presence. Tra’sk assumed they would not greet each other and returned the majority of his attention to the conversation.
“I think it is safe to say that,” Tra’sk began, but just as Wilma passed Damian she raised a fist.
“Yo,” Damian said, freeing one hand from the datapad he held to slam his own fist into Wilma’s.
“Hey,” Wilma replied.
The shock surged up Damian’s arm and jarred Tra’sk’s body. He gripped Damian’s shirt, barely remembering to not grip his claws into the soft mammalian skin beneath. Both humans continued walking without breaking their odd two-beat stride and without once raising their eyes to each other. Tra’sk flicked his attention back and forth between them in shock.
That couldn’t have been a display of anger, or any other passion. Damian’s pulse, so clearly visible on the flesh of the neck beside Tra’sk, hadn’t even changed its pace. How each human had even been aware of each other in the noisy passageway was a mystery. Their binocular vision was notoriously narrow.
“Tra’sk!” Damian called out waving his hand for attention. “What do you think?”
“What was that?” Tra’sk demanded.
“I said,” Damian replied. “So do you want to go to the deep forest with me?”
“No! I mean yes,” Tra’sk began. “I would love to go to the forest but what was that?” Tra’sk waved in the direction of Wilma’s departing back.
“That?” Damian asked with a frown, slowing to a stop.
“Your fists!” Tra’sk clarified, mimicking the action with his two primary manipulators.
“The fist bump?” Damian asked, ruckling his eyebrows.
“Of course you have a name for it,” Tra’sk said, slumping down onto Damian’s shoulder.  
“That? Just a greeting,” Damian said with a shrug. “You know, for folks you’re cool with.”
Tra’sk pondered the complex calculations necessary to near instantly react to the raised fist of a friend glimpsed out of the humans’ narrow vision, the minutely controlled force required to not injure the other human, and the concentration needed to maintain their bipedal stride at the same time. He walked over to where the pulsing veins radiated mammalian bio-heat from Damian’s neck and pressed his primary eyes into the comforting warmth to dim the overstimulation.
“You okay Tra’sk?” Damian asked in concern.
“Oh I’m quite fine,” Tra’sk said waving one leg dismissively. “Yes, yes the deep forest sounds wonderful: just you me, and no other humans.”
“Okay,” Damian said slowly.
 “Fist bump,” Tra’sk chittered. “How many of your greetings involve simulated assault?”
Damian chuckled but seemed to consider the question rhetorical; he shrugged and slipped the datapad under his arm before setting off whistling. 

Surprise Appearances

One of the fun bits of seasonal work is meeting everyone again. Sometimes they recognize you, sometimes they don't. So planned outings can become surprise meetings.