Betty Adams's Blog, page 30

Humans are Weird - Don't Try This At Home

 Humans are Weird – Don’t Try This At Home


“And we are just going to surrender this base to those impermanent mammals?” Flume demanded lashing his tail in frustration against the untextured wall of the base. “After all the grain we have poured into the funnel here? Is it an economically sound, no, is it a morally sound decision to abandon the investment our families worked so hard to initiate? Shouldn’t we at least consider a cohabitative experiment? It worked well for the Trisk.”
Commander Millrace gave a grunt of irritation and opened his wide mouth to snap out the exact same reply to the exact same complaint for the fifth time since the announcement had been posted this morning. However his better minerals stopped him and he heaved a sigh. Instead of speaking he lifted his tail and flicked one of the toggles set in the wall.
Flume jumped back as the sound of straining gears and struggling engines whined out of the wall and reverberated through the office. Flume opened his mouth, probably to ask about what horrible malfunction was causing that noise and to insist that the function be terminated. However before he could fill his lungs there was a crack as of glass snapping which caused them both to flinch back as the greater portion of the wall began to slowly raise revealing, instead of the transparent window, layer upon layer of glittering crystal growths.
“Grind,” Commander Millrace swore softly as he extended one stubby claw to prod at a shattered crystal growth. “It’s made it inside after all.”
“What are those?” Flume gasped out between teeth agape with shock.
“Ice crystals,” Commander Millrace stated with a tired sigh as he turned and began rummaging through his desk for the directed personal heater one of the humans had gifted him.
“How did they form?” Flume demanded, squirming back from the roiling mass of cold air that was creeping down the window now that the interior shutters had been raised. “The temperature should be constant in the base. Why-”
“Thermal gradient,” Commander Millrace grunted out. “It’s warm enough in here, could hatch a decent egg in the cafeteria, but out there?”
He aimed the heater at the growths on the window and slowly the crystals turned transparent and began to evaporate under the flow of hot air.
“Out there, it’s thirty below crystallization,” he stated, snapping his teeth grimly as the exterior yard of the base came into view.
The crystallized water covered, and invaded everything. Every transport was coated in a white frosting. Thermal covers that they had wrapped equipment in had split and cracked exposing sensitive equipment to winds that were heavy with icy particulate matter. The safety lights sent out pale beams through their cold coatings. The very ground it self, paths they had smoothed to run their belly scutes over had heaved up and warped, revealing tiered pillars of ice that broke off into razor sharp fragment when you tried to move.
Commander Millrace kept the directed heater running long after the section of the window was clear to battle the cold that far exceed the thermal rating of the window’s material. Flume stared out at the dangerous landscape and ground his teeth uneasily as he processed what he was seeing.
“Why didn’t the initial scouts report this?” he asked finally.
“The humans seem to think all this is the result of some volcano or the other” Commander Millrace said. “The area probably was plenty warm with the scouts came through. The humans say it should warm up soon because the hydrostorms cleanse the skies quick.”
“How soon is soon?” Flume asked with an uneasy glance at his commander. “The humans often have strange measurement systems.”
“Few local years,” the commander replied.
“Surviving here a few local years does not seem terribly difficult,” Flume stated cautiously. “Yes this is,” he glanced out the window and visibly shuddered, “distressing, but surely the resources on this planet are worth making a cooperative effort with the humans. They are more than willing and – what is that one doing?”
Commander Millrace grunted and lifted his head to get a better look at the human who had just skipped out of the air lock. The seemingly frolicsome nature of the biped’s movement was encumbered by a massive canister held under one arm and a much smaller bucket held in the other. The human reached the central safety light that provided for the main path and set down the two items.
“What is it doing outside?” Flume demanded. “There can’t be any scheduled maintenance that can’t be put off before the local sunrise!”
Commander Millrace turned to his counsel and pulled up the schedule for the day.
“Recreation,” he stated before coming back to crouch beside Flume.
“That is one of our hydrothermal tanks!” Flume suddenly observed. “It’s fully activated and at full capacity!”
Commander Millrace squinted and gave a respectful click. There was no way he could have read the indicator lights at this distance. The airlock opened again and a clawcluster of humans came stumbling out with their bizarre two-legged gate. Commander Millrace wasn’t an expert at reading the mammals’ tail flicks but from the way they bumped into each other they seemed excited. They reached the human with the hydrothermal canister and separated into an observation semi-circle that seemed centered neither on the first human nor the canisters but the safety light. The first human pulled something out of the pocket of his thermal armor and waved it around in the air.
“What does he have? Commander Millrace asked.
“I can’t quite tell,” Flume admitted. “Some small human device?”
Suddenly there was a ping from the counsel and Commander Millrace glanced back at it curiously. Outside the human with the device was gesturing and the other humans were rotating their semi-circle in response.
“Who is starting a private video broadcast this early in the work cycle?” Flume asked.
“Those humans,” Commander Millrace answered as his pupils narrowed in surprise.
“The video is labeled pretty lights,” Flume observed.
Commander Millrace pulled up the video on his data pad and they listened to the human, he thought it was the first one, chattering in it’s own language. The automatic translator was spitting out what seemed to be a list of safety permutations having to do with human skin tolerances for high temperature water. Commander Millrace felt his scales tense with sudden undefined unease.
“The video is on a slight delay,” Flume stated. “They are actually filling the bucket with boiling water, what-?”
His question was cut off with a gurgle of panicked shock as the human flung the bucket of boiling water into the air over the other humans’ heads. However the water turned instantly to a glittering crystal fog that caught the pale beam of the safety light and shattered it into rainbows. There was the faint sound of cheering from the grouped humans as the low wind whisked the fog away from them, down the open end of their semi-circle. A few moments later the cheers were echoed in the video.
Commander Millrace and Flume stared out at them in shocked contemplation for several moments. Finally Flume shifted uneasily.
“I reframe my question,” he said in subdued tones. “Is it a morally responsible decision to leave those unstable mammals unsupervised on such a dangerous world?”
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 66 Full Spoilers Review & Analysis - The Ghost in the Shrine-Battle on the Rocks

Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 66 Full Spoilers Review & Analysis - The Ghost in the Shrine-Battle on the Rocks
Youtube
 https://youtu.be/6gA0FFwxS0Q
BitChute
https://www.bitchute.com/video/wTNTRdcvYewX/ 
Odysee
https://odysee.com/@BettyAdams:5/kaiju-no.-8-chapter-66-full-spoilers:e 
Rumble
https://rumble.com/v1bs210-kaiju-no.-8-chapter-66-full-spoilers-review-and-analysis-the-ghost-in-the-s.html  
Veoh
https://www.veoh.com/watch/v1422100414mtRzfyK 

#ShonenJump #Manga #KN8 #KafkaHibino #ViceCaptainHoshina

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Humans are Weird - What A Tree

 Humans are Weird – What a Tree


The glittering night sky domed over the last garden gate as Third Sister flicked her antenna in yet another futile attempt to catch the pheromones of Tenth Cousin and gave another futile press at the radio in her hand. It clicked obligingly as it sent out the attention call, but the only response was an answering click from the creature casually munching on droppings at her feet.
The most adventurous of the cousins by far, it certainly wasn’t unusual for Tenth Cousin to linger out beyond their Fathers’ garden for hours at a time. The land around the civilized gardens was remarkably safe for a colony world of such a small population. Sparse forests were filled with small and low energy herbivores which posed little threat to a grown Shatar. The multitudinous parasites that kept their numbers in checks were more likely to be beneficial to a Shatar than otherwise. Still the fact that Tenth Cousin had stated her return time and had gone past it was concerning.
“That human is absorbing into her membrane,” Third Sister said in a fretful tone, reaching down to stroke the broad head of Skitters.
She instantly felt her frill flush with amused embarrassment and Skitters tilted its head and turned it bulbous central eye on her. It’s stubby pseudo-antenna twitched as it detected her distress.
“Nothing is wrong,” she assured it with another stroke down it’s elongated thorax. “I was just rather forcibly touched by a rather amusing bit of hypocrisy. If carelessness of schedule is evidence of human contamination, then speaking to a non-sapient domestic lifeform is far more of a symptom.”
“Well as long as you aren’t conversing with him,” came a sudden voice from the radio in the husky rolling tones of a mammal.
“Third Brother,” Third Sister answered, unable to hide the relief in her voice. “Is Tenth Cousin with you?”
“Sure is!” the human answered. “She’s been a real help today! Sorry we’re so late. We’re just coming over the last big hill. We should be in sight of the garden gate in about twenty degrees!”
Third Sister fought down a surge of irritation and clenched her mandibles on a harsh reprimand. Traveling on foot the time was unavoidable and by the time she could ask one of the Aunts to activate a transport and get out to them they would be almost home. Again she reminded herself that even if there was a danger to a full grown Shatar in the open forests it was more than mitigated by they massive mammal.
“Make sure to have Third Cousin check you for parasites when you get home,” she finally clicked out, giving herself a nice compromise between wanting to pinch his antenna and knowing that she had no real authority over the human.
“Will do!” he replied. “No one wants a repeat of the Koala-Tick incident. Over!”
Third Sister felt a shudder run up her abdomen at the memory of the time the mammal had failed to detect the alien parasite. No matter how many times she reminded herself that the human had suffered little harm from the membrane puncture and the blood loss she just couldn’t get the memory to shed. Skitters turned away from the Koala droppings and rubbed his head against her lagging leg with a soothing series of clicks. She reached down and idly rubbed behind his antenna.
She took a deep breath and rolled her head, stretching out her frill to its full extent.
“Come on Skitters,” she said. “We better head in and see if Third Father needs help with the baskets.”
Skitters hopped after her as she left the garden gate behind.
She had finished stacking the fruit baskets and had begun gathering tomorrow’s greens when she heard the gate click with far more force than was necessary. The human’s voice soon was audible. Third Brother was speaking in a low but enthusiastic voice, presumably to Tenth Cousin. Third Sister caught a few words that she vaguely recalled from her basic botany classes. An image of a wild lichen clinging to the side of a tree presented itself to her imagination and she wondered what the human could find so fascinating about it. The two rounded a corner and a rather drooping Tenth Cousin flicked her antenna at Third Sister in greeting.
“How was your day?” Third Brother demanded without preamble.
“Longer than I prefer,” Third Sister snapped.
The human had the grace to look embarrassed and glanced at the drooping Tenth Cousin with a guilty look.
“Sorry about that,” he began, “I was examining some tracks-”
Third Sister tilted her head at him sternly and he closed his mouth quickly.
“Good night!” he said, giving Tenth Cousin a parting pat on the head and stumbled quickly off towards his hut.
Third Sister stood from where she had been crouching over the greens patch and tucked what she had already gathered into her bag. Skitters hopped up to greet Tenth Cousin eagerly.
“Did he collect any parasites today?” She asked.
Tenth Cousin flared her frill in exasperation and held out a specimen container.
“He had collected six blood sucking parasites and ten interstitial fluid sapping parasites!” she exclaimed.
Third Sister clicked in surprise.
“That is quite the haul even for Third Brother,” Third Sister observed. “Did he forget to bind his limbs properly?”
“No,” Tenth Cousin replied as they walked into the center of the garden. “He spent the whole day wrapped around this one tree. It was covered in lichen and the leaf eaters he calls the gecko-mice had a colony there. He was following their tracks through the lichen. They kept dropping parasites down the back of his neck.”
They fell silent and Third Sister pondered that information. She tried to imagine how a mammal that massive could “follow” the tracks of a creature a thousandth of his mass. She supposed he had traced them with those binocular eyes that rolled around in their socket. Her antenna started to ache with the effort and she sighed and rubbed her forehead.
“Did any of the parasites survive?” she asked.
“I don’t think so,” Tenth Cousin said, giving the specimen container a speculative shake. “One of the blood suckers was still pulsing when I pulled it off but it went still pretty quick.”
Third Cousins mind wandered back to the human’s behavior despite her best efforts.
“He spent an entire afternoon studying one tree,” she said slowly. “How did he not get bored?”
“I don’t know,” Tenth Cousin admitted, “I was quite ready to leave.”
“Humans,” Third Sister muttered.

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON
Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Humans are Weird - Twang

 Humans are Weird – Twang


The soft hush of the main administrative offices, today broken only by the occasional odd twang, was immensely soothing to Second Click’s rather frayed nerves and he reveled in it as he flexed the bottoms of his feet over the smooth grain of the wood. His assistant, a polite and quiet local hired more to keep him company than to share in the little work made an assenting sound, flexing his own feet in appreciation. Though the structure had been designed by the savanna loving humans it was quite comfortable for the more forest dwelling Winged. They had built the majority of the structure ot their own massive scale of course, but they had crafted it from the deadwood felled by a local volcanic eruption. They had chosen to leave as much of the natural branch structure as possible intact in the higher regions of the structure where they posed no trip hazard to their notoriously unstable gate. This made the upper regions of their buildings delightful, if occasionally inconvenient places for the Winged to put their own offices and living structures. Not to mention that having the vast spaces between the humans’ heads and the curved rafters of the ceiling for flight space during the local planet’s frigged winters was the main reason this planet was considered habitable.
The fact that his current position was half punishment and half a medically required rest cure did sour the experience for him the slightest breeze, but he had the solace of knowing that his mismanagement had not dragged the rest of his wing with him, and the population of this particular human colony was especially friendly even by human standards. Not that he was hiding from them at the moment, but the neigh impenetrable concealment the upper levels offered from the humans could be as soothing as any other aspect of the space.
He idly prodded the pile of paperwork on his desk with a wing hook. These were important documents he needed to attend, but there was no particular order of priority and as he was feeling rather stiff in the wing today he figured he might as well start with the most annoying and save the most pleasant for the downglide. He shoved the mass of documentation regarding a newly paired couple of humans to the side. He would have to summon them both to witness that and he greatly looked forward to the pleasure of questioning them on all the details of their union and the traditions he had arrived just to late to participate in. He picked up the report on the anti-crystallization efforts for the primary water filtration system and began to work.
The odd twang he had noticed before came again followed by the snap of something low tension striking something soft and he idly rubbed his sensory horns. The sound had been an irregular occurrence since he had arrived. He had yet to determine the source, however it was invariably followed by laughter and cheerful human voices so he had not prioritized flitting in on it, despite the way the initial twang made his sensory horns vibrate uneasily. The colony, new to him at least, was a sensory buffet of new and perplexing sensations.
Today the odd twanging sound persisted longer and occurred with more frequency. The sounds of human enjoyment also increased and it soon became clear that whatever was causing the high tension twang was smacking into the wood of the walls and ceiling more often than the softer surfaces it had been before. Second Click even heard the impact sound strike close by, followed by a loose ricochet. If such a soft flopping rebound could be called a ricochet. He signed off on his decision on the water treatment and reached for the analysis of the stability of the high canopy directly over the human’s main residential area.
By the time he was more than ready to so out and be sociable at the humans’ lunch hour the pile had not noticeably decreased but he was far from dissatisfied with his morning’s work. His rather over strict medical orders indicated that he was to retire for the day soon so he began gathering up the various documents pertinent to his final task.
Below him several humans were calling out in perplexity about the ‘big blue one’. From what little his attention picked up an item, a universal favorite, had gotten lost. Their readiness to loose track of the vectors of even the most important of items was a constant perplexity to Second Click, but at no one seemed inclined to ask a Winged for aid in finding it he let the sounds flow over him.
Second Click peered eagerly at the various options for changing the names of the humans involved. The genetic analysis and the list of options he was to offer them about scans for radiation damage. When it came to the traditions of uniting a pair of mates to bring forth new life on his own world had been complex, beautiful, and often frustrating to understand. When you added the complexity of a species’ difference of culture and biology it became a riddle worth the most agile sage. He had chosen this post in no little hope of being able to indulge his fascination with the concept.
Once he had everything gathered he tucked them into his satchel and felt the weight experimentally. His doctors had been quite strict about not stressing his pectoral muscles. It should be well within his current capacity, but he still found himself quite ready to gnaw at that capacity that was so much less that what he had been capable of even a year ago. He brushed the unpleasant thought aside and focused on how much fun he was going to have aiding a newly mated pair with their transition. He hopped out of his office space and began skipping down the long branch that made up the outer corridor.
He was almost to the leap point that would release him to the main area when his nostril frills twitched in irritation at the scent of a bleeding tree. Confusion stopped him and he glanced around, for the briefest of moments wondering how the long dead wood, felled by a volcanic eruption no less, was giving off the smell of fresh if sour sap. The answers showed itself in a blue circular strap hanging limply over a small branch protruding from the side of the walkway.
Second Click hopped over to it as one question was answers with three more. This was one of the local products the humans produced. They bled the trees on a seasonal basis and then refined the sap into various useful substance. These were the straps that they used to contain various small burdens, small for the humans. The Winged had found them useful for securing burdens to the mechanical transports but the surface was hardly something you wanted to have abrading your fur for any length of time.
Second Click found himself utterly perplexed as to how this one had landed here. True the humans were not bad at throwing things. In fact they were probably the closest to the Winged in terms of raw vector management when it came to self external bodies at least. However it would have required a series of calculations that would be nearly impossible for even a Winged to have tossed the strap up here. He set his perplexity to the side and gently kicked the band off the stub it had caught on. This was clearly what the humans had been looking for and they could now find it on the floor below. He shifted his carry satchel slightly and took a few hops airborn.
He reached the shared workspace he was scheduled to meet the paired humans in and arranged the files, the scanners, and the larger human documents to his liking on the workspace. Outside the privacy screen he heard a shout of delight and exclamations that made him hum with delight as the humans found the blue circular strap. He glanced at the time and clicked his teeth in slight annoyance. The humans he was supposed to meet were late. He left the paperwork on the table and flew out to see if he could find them. He rounded the privacy screen and pinged the threat instantly.
The blue circular strap was zipping through the air at him. It was circling it’s axis in an odd manner that suggested it had been launched with uneven tension. This gave it impressive speed, far too much speed for him to dodge and he felt it from the sensory horns to his tail that he wouldn’t be able to move fast enough. The flexing trees’ blood struck his sensory horns at their base sending every sense sparking. He wondered how he was tasting those little flecks of light. Light didn’t usually have a taste. Slowly the sparking faded into a smooth cycling motion and he realized that someone, a medic, it had to be a medic, no one else’s wings smelled quite so much like disinfectant, was gently massaging his ringing sensory horns.
“He’s focusing!” Sarah Beth called out eagerly. “I think he’s coming round!”
“Stay back and give him room,” Donald’s voice warned from somewhere behind her.
“You were both late for our meeting!” Second Click pointed out.
Or at least he thought he did. He must have spoken his native language. Or possibly just slurred the low rumbling he had learned for a human language because the human female who was gradually coming into focus between the fireworks display his brain was putting on glanced back at her mate in confusion.
“He’s winging about your being late for the meeting,” the medic translate with an exasperated fluffing of his fur.
“Oh!” Sarah Beth blinked in surprise and opened and closed her mouth a few times. “Well, guess I’m sorry about that too.”
“We are so sorry!” Donald interjected from somewhere behind her.
Second Click divined from the fact that the medic wasn’t restraining him that the blow from the band had not damaged his spine and gingerly pulled himself into a more comfortable position. The medic confirmed his surmise by helping him up.
“Do I need time in your bole of torture?” he asked.
The medic fluffed in enough indignation that Second Click was able to gather the answer was no even before the medic confirmed it.
“You just had a bad case of sensory overload,” the medic explained. “The rubber band had nearly spent its energy by the time it hit you and you landed soft enough and if you mind your stretching exercises you should be fine.”
“Rubber band,” Second Click muttered glancing around.
Sarah Beth held up the blue circular strap with a guilty look on her face.
Second Click drew in a long breath and rubbed a winghook over the tender sensory horn.
“Do I need to ask any obvious questions?” he asked.
“Mamma Conner sent us a real fun wedding gift,” Sarah Beth said with a laugh.
She held up a shaped block of wood with a few simple levers attached.
“She said this was in case I ever got tempted to shoot Donny,” she went on. “She sent one for each of us of course and because they were just toys we didn’t figure we needed to warn anyone or not use them indoors.”
“I would have appreciated a warning at least,” Second Click said in a dry tone as he got unsteadily to his feet.
“We won’t be playing in the shred spaces no more,” Sarah Beth said quickly holding out her hand.
Second Click accepted her hand as he tried to process that double negative.
“Let’s discuss this after we get your paperwork done,” he said with a sigh. “I am interested to see if this mock combat play is quite normal for a newly mated couple.”

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON




Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 65 Full Spoilers Review & Analysis – Bond of Brothers Across Time

Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 65 Full Spoilers Review & Analysis – Bond of Brothers Across Time
Youtube
https://youtu.be/Bv4KZFMD3v0

BitChute
https://www.bitchute.com/video/ypxNLUcxJh72/ 
Odysee
https://odysee.com/@BettyAdams:5/kaiju-no.-8-chapter-65-full-spoilers-2:5 
Rumble
https://rumble.com/v1a1hu8-kaiju-no.-8-chapter-65-full-spoilers-review-and-analysis-bond-of-brothers-a.html 
Veoh
https://www.veoh.com/watch/v142207004DhwhGPBC 
#ShonenJump #Manga #ViceCaptainHoshina #KN9 #KN10​

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Five Short Story Collections of Human Absurdity that Aren't Mine - And One that Is

Five Short Story Collections of Human Absurdity that Aren't Mine - And One that Is
https://shepherd.com/best-books/to-laugh-at-the-absurdity-of-human-nature  

Youtube
 https://youtu.be/6fPRUDOaq1U 

BitChute
https://www.bitchute.com/video/jl1H1EASfU0B/ 

Odysee
https://odysee.com/@BettyAdams:5/five-short-story-collections-of-human:5 

Rumble
https://rumble.com/c/c-1429014 

Veoh
https://www.veoh.com/watch/v142206618yrwXs3PR
 
#HFY #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #SciFi #Books #ShortStories

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON
Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Humans are Weird - Tracks in the Snow

 Humans are Weird – Tracks in the Snow


The deep forest with its roots that reached down to the bedrock was caught in a winter hush. The blanket of snow that sent the greater parts of ones mass into deep and comfortable dormancy handily insulated the detritus of the forest floor allowing the vibrant life of the microbes to creep along just above the freezing point of water despite the air above the snow being filled with the cracks and low rumblings caused by the temperature dropping well below such levels. Small mammals twitched in their burrows and larger amphibians lay deathly still. The greater beasts, the ones with the insulation and energy stores to move through the blanket of snow occasionally struck the ground with their great limbs sending vibrations so far through the ground that they even reached the odd cluster of buildings that formed the main exploratory base for the recently discovered world. Around all of this marched the uneven tread of a single human circling the base.
Inside the sturdy human structure Resting in Contemplation pondered over how many of his active tendrils he would have to withdraw from the heat aura of the fire in order to lift the fire prodding stick. He let a thought trail off to a node to remind his main mass to thank Pat for making the fire prodding stick for him. The set of fire tools the humans used were forged from the metals of the world, cold iron from the northern mountains sheathed in silicone extracted from the algae of the southern seas, were far too heavy for his winter slow tendrils to lift. He had sighed his desire to participate in the care of the fire to his friend and Pat had quickly found a lightweight wooden stick and had treated it is various mysterious ways that had left it resistant to the flames of the central heating pocket the humans used.
Resting in Contemplation let his memories wind over the events before he shifted his attention to picking up his fire poking stick and stirring the logs in the woodstove. The main door swung open and Pat entered with a rush of cold air. The human had shed most of the snow that clung to his protective detritus layer in the outer porch and was now hanging the clothing on the wall while giving off a low droning sounds that Resting in Contemplation had learned to understand as wordless expressions of emotion and sensation.
Pat finished shedding his protective layers and strolled barefooted into the shared common area around the woodstove. Resting in Contemplation prided himself in his ability to keep his shared surface clear of any piercing or lacerating material that might cause damage to human feet and it was a delight to him to observe how the humans of the base trusted him enough to walk without hesitation on the areas that he tended. Pat strolled over to the couch of carved wood covered in a soft vine network and dropped down with a soft grunt.
“The perimeter’s clear,” Pat said. “I didn’t see any predator tracks but with all those six legged deer about we are bound to get a few sooner or later.”
“I do not recall so many of the grazers lingering in this valley before you arrived,” Resting in Contemplation observed.
“They are probably attracted by the waste heat from the buildings,” Pat said with a wide yawn, stretching his feet out towards the fire and blinking slowly.
“Did you sleep well last night?” Resting in Contemplation asked.
“I think so,” Pat said. “Don’t know why I’m so sluggish this morning.”
“You were out longer on your rounds,” Resting in Contemplation observed.
“Its pretty out there,” Pat replied, a smile widening his mouth. “The trees and the snow and the icicles. It’s worth seeing.”
“I do wish I could contemplate the higher levels of the network,” Resting in Contemplation said, carefully adding wistful tones in his voice.
Pat visibly flinched and his hands gripped the wooden sides of the couch.
“Yeah, don’t,” he said curtly.
“Were those not wistful tones?” Resting in Contemplation asked.
“I’d say more like cheap, synthesizer ghost sound effects,” the human said.
“Can we practice?” Resting in Contemplation asked. “I do need a good wistful tone.”
Pat grimaced but nodded.
“Please demonstrate,” Resting in Contemplation requested.
“It’d be great if that next supply ship brought us some real tea,” Pat offered, rubbing his face.
Resting in Contemplation analyzed the sounds and tried to separate the ‘wistful’ tones from Pat’s baseline vocalizations. They went back and forth as the light changed from morning to noon when a distant and discordant prodding at a distant node caused Resting in Contemplation to shift his attention to his nearly dormant outer mass.
“What’s got you distracted Resting in Contemplation?” Pat asked, sipping at his heated drink.
Resting in Contemplation didn’t know why it didn’t count as real tea, the leaves he provided had at least equal tanic acid concentrations when brewed.
“I believe your presence is required in the forest,” Resting in Contemplation stated, letting all emotional resonance drop for the moment as he focused on articulation.
Pat instantly stood and strode to his protective layers and began putting them on.
“There appears to be a lone Undulate from the thermal pools-”
“What’s one of them doing out in the forest?” demanded Pat?
“It appears to be succumbing to hypothermia,” Resting in Contemplation explained.
Pat shot an irritated look at Resting in Contemplation’s center of mass but didn’t verbally respond.
“There is a large Gilford tree,” Resting in Contemplation paused as he wrestled with the nearly purely theoretical human direction systems.
He knew that he couldn’t tell the human to use his toes to follow the gradient of nitrogenous acid that the tree’s symboites leeched into the soil. Even if the human’s extremities wouldn’t just go numb from the cold human toes just didn’t have much in the way of chemoreception. He had mentioned this to Pat one day and the human had simply murmured a low exclamation of gratitude to his creator. Now Resting in Contemplation felt the angle of the sun and compared it to how long the local star had been over the horizon.
“North,” he stated. “The tree is north of the base boundary fence by about six of your strides. The Undulate has burrowed down far enough into the snow to prod my nodes so you will likely have to dig for him.”
“They don’t go out alone,” Pat muttered as he selected an outer layer belonging to a much larger human and several long scarves. “Any idea where the other one is?”
“I will look as you go,” Resting in Contemplation assured him.
Pat tossed a data pad into Resting in Contemplation’s center of active mass and stalked out into cold, bright air as Resting in Contemplation activate the communications unit. The human chose a path to the Undulate that was a mystery to Resting in Contemplation. It was neither the most direct line across the surface of the snow, nor the hard packed and easy walking of the established trails. Rather it seemed to be some combination of them that the human deemed the fastest route. Fortunately Resting in Contemplation’s instructions proved useful, there were few Gilford trees on the north side of the base and Pat found the second Undulate before he found the first.
“They’re both cold and stiff,” the human called out over the comms, “I’ll bring them in now, have the main drinking water tank set to thirty-five degrees- I mean one point six degrees when I get back.”
Resting in Contemplation followed his instructions as the human now altered his path and followed the well packed walkways back to the main structure. He lumbered in, encumbered by the weight of the two unresponsive Undulates he had strapped to his upper mass with the scarves. He lifted a large container down to the floor and placed it under the spigot of the main drinking tank before he removed the stiff forms from his body and placed them in the water. He reached into a nearby cupboard and pulled out a small aquatic heater and tossed that in with them before he stood and heaved an aggravated sigh.
“The powder dehydrated them as well as freezing them,” he said. “What were they doing out there? Anyway, I need to call this over to their main pool. The heater should be controlable from your datapad. Watch that the temperature doesn’t rise more than a degree every ten minutes and it should be – wait, time units right.”
Pat took the pad and ran some quick calculations before handing it back to Resting in Contemplation with a solar angle.
“One degree every that many degrees,” he said.
Resting in Contemplation obeyed and watched as the Undulates slowly began to move as the water warmed and hydrated them. He added a few clusters of duff to add a bit of flavor to the water as they grew more aware. Pat returned and dropped back down into the couch.
“Their base commander says their plan was to come straight over here,” he said. “They had calculated that they should be more than able to safely navigate our paths with the thermal load they had when they left the base.”
“It is close,” Resting in Contemplation said, “even along Undulate mind paths.”
Pat grunted in agreement and the settled in to wait as their guests revived. Finally the slightly larger one thrust it’s leading end out of the water.
“Thank you for the rescue Human Friend Pat!” the Undulate said.
“What happened out there?” Pat demanded. “Did you guys chase a squirrel into the trees? Why’d you go off the main path into the powder?”
“We were following your shortcut,” the Undulate said. “I know we were on one of your paths at least, but I suspect we chose the wrong one.”
Pat blinked slowly and his mouth opened and closed a few times.
“My dudes,” he finally said. “I have a lot of shortcuts out in the woods, none of them are on the north edge of the base.”
“But it was a path of yours,” the Undulate insisted. “We calculated that any reasonably efficient human path to circle the base should lead us through even the powder snow quickly enough to avoid danger.”
Pat was staring at the Undulates as if at a loss for an explanation.
“I believe I feel the root of the misunderstanding branch,” Resting in Contemplation interjected. “While there is an efficiency optimized path for humans to survey the perimeter of the base that one is within the confines of the perimeter and is used by the other humans. You must have turned on one of the external pathways which Pat uses for his rounds. These are four to five times as long as necessary and as none of the other humans use them they are not packed.”
Pat gave a low groan and rubbed his face.
“That would explain what we observed,” he Undulate replied as it began rubbing it’s companion, “but why would Human Friend Pat use such an inefficient path?”
“I’m an ecologist,” Pat burst out. “seeing everything is why I came to a new planet in the first place.”
“So having a perfectly comfortable main pool to come back to,” the Undulate said, “you instead choose to spend a massive volume of your day wandering out in temperatures that will drain the thermal bank from even a mammal of your mass?”
“I wear a parka,” the human muttered rubbing his face.
Resting in Contemplation picked the fire poking stick back up and settled down to observe the conversation. He once again felt a sprig of delight at his decision to remain partially aware this winter. He was learning so much.  
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON
Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Humans are Weird - Charlie Horse

 Humans are Weird – Charlie Horse


The local star sent it’s pale rays weakly through the dense, gray clouds that had been roiling unceasingly over the power station for weeks. Commander Tk’tktc flexed his legs one at a time and debated running along the walkways that lined the massive walls of the room to turn on the main lighting. Without much hope he pulled up the central computer controls on his tablet. As he had expected the lighting and temperature controls were still the same grayscale that humans used to indicate a non-functional link.
Tk’tktc expanded his lungs slowly and adjusted his insulating sweater so it was a bit looser around the joints before rising from the stool his abdomen had been resting on. The concept of being forced to wear thermal regulation layers within an established structure was something he still disliked, and even with that he found he required a small space heater to maintain a comfortable temperature while doing more sedentary work. Taking command of a human base built pre-contact had taught him many new and interesting ways of suffering quietly during the workday. As such an assignment was designed to he supposed rubbing his face under his primary eyes. His cultural understanding had certainly been expanded.
He flexed once more and began skittering briskly along the walkway. The metal composite material under his paws vibrated in impossibly low tones as the walls they were anchored to flexed in response to the power of the storm outside. Commander Tk’tktc shivered as he went, wondering if it was the cold or the unease that caused his hairs to bristle against his sweater. The manual controls were lengths away from his work area, something that he had not thought could be an issues before he took the assignment.
“You learn something new every day, as the humans say,” he clicked to himself.
“I need to formally measure this distance,” he observed to himself, “it feels far longer than what the official records indicate.”
He finally reached the panel and reached up to touch the control for the lights. The moment his paw touched the screen the walkway shuddered strongly enough to make him clutch the wall in panic. For an embarrassing long moment he frantically attempted to figure out what button he had inadvertently touched. However the main lights were on and even a cursory examination of the control panel showed that there was no other control that could have caused the base to shudder like that if activated.
Tk’tktc slowly pulled his appendages away from the wall and considered the situation. He had gotten fairly used to the vibrations caused by the storms. This felt more localized, smaller in scale, but it was still something to be investigated.
“One of the benefits of a human built base was supposed to be that nothing could break them apart,” he clicked to himself.
He ignored the voice in his head that sounded remarkably like his first tutor that added, except humans.
There was another of the odd tremors, less powerful than the first but immediately followed by a series of others. Tk’tktc followed the raised walkway out of the command center and then paused in the corridor lit dimly from the skylights above. He dropped all eight of his paws to the floor, spread out as far as he could go and the tremors came again. They were clearly coming from his right though a few seconds later his attention was rendered rather pointless as a quarrelsome human voice rose in complaint from their shared sleeping corridors in the same direction. There were several more thumps and bumps, now that he was in the corridor he could hear them as well as feel them through his paw hairs, and Human Friend Rogers came stumbling out of the room.
The human, presumably just having come from the sleep state where he would have been insulated under several of his massive blankets was only wearing a thin set of garments that barely covered his core. Tk’tktc felt a sympathetic shiver rattle his joints. Even at this distance he could see that the human’s pitifully few body hairs were raised in an attempt to keep him warm. However that thought was snapped quickly as Tk’tktc realized that the human was in acute distress.
Human Friend Rogers was precariously, more precariously than usual that is, balancing the majority of his weight on his non-dominant leg as he staggered away from the door and clutched at the wall. His face was twisted in a grimace and he seemed to be taking a moment to brace himself before lifting the leg that appeared to be the source of the pain and slamming his foot repeatedly into the floor. Each blow sent waves of vibrations through the floor, up the walls, and into the walk way as the limb the length and thickness of a small tree impacted the surface below it.
Tk’tktc clutched at the walkway for support as his hairs bristled in shock and a little panic as the pounding continued.
“Stupid. Charlie. Horse.” The human spat out in time to his, stomping, Tk’tktc believed it was called.
Human Friend Rogers suddenly shook out his body and began walking down the corridor away from Commander Tk’tktc. For a moment the Trisk hopped them meant the pain had passed, but he saw that Human Friend Rogers’s face contorted every time he slammed down the painful limb. With a start Tk’tktc realized that the human was deliberately striking down with excess force when bringing his weight down on the painful limb. The human passed out of his focus and Tk’tktc debated activating his comms to attempt to talk to Human Friend Rogers. However he had not seen the comm device on the human’s wrist and the best he could do would be to wake up the other humans and send on them after Human Friend Rogers. The situation resolved itself when the human turned around and began stomping towards the commander. Tk’tktc raised himself to a polite attentive stance and lifted one paw in greeting. However the human stomped right past him without even a flick of his binocular eyes in the commander’s direction. The human reached some predetermined point and swung around again.
“Human Friend Rogers?” Tk’tktc called out as loudly as he could.
The human staggered a bit at the sound and his head swung wildly around before his eyes focused on the commander.
“Comman-” the humans first attempt at a greeting was cut off by a gaping yawn that displayed far too many teeth.
“Commander,” the human finally managed to say.
“You are in pain Human Friend Rogers?” Tk’tktc made sure to put the proper tones of a question in the words.
“A bit,” the human admitted with a shrug. “The mineral supplements didn’t come last shipment so we’re a little low on bio-avali-” the human was interrupted by another yawn.
“Ain’t got enough magnesium to eat,” the human finished, before staring at the commander with a blank face.
“And that causes you pain?” Tk’tktc asked, confusion distracting him from the constraining sweater.
“Muscles can’t work right without it,” the human said. “When we’re sleeping sometimes the calves get all painful without it.We got more coming of course, and we ain’t gonna die, but we gotta live with it till then.”
“And your ...stomping...gets rid of the pain?” Tk’tktc asked.
The human bobbed its head up and down a few times and then yawned again even as his eyes darted towards the door of the communal sleeping chamber.
“I will let you get back to sleep,” the commander said slowly.
The human gave him a grateful smile and trudged off towards his bed, still limping slightly, just before he reached the door he grimaced and stomped the floor again.
Tk’tktc lightly tapped a paw of his own against the walkway and considered how he was going to document this particular early morning disturbance. He was reasonable certain that the human had not been punishing the offending limb for misbehavior, that level of mental disorder he would have noticed before now. However it might be wise to contact a psychologist just ot be sure.
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON



Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Stop Me if You've Heard This One - Powers That Be Eliminate Farmer/Warrior/Priest Who Tries to Defend Sentient Artificial Being

Seriously folks, we've all seen that movie, read that manga, watched that episode. 
A sweet lower level farmer-warrior-priest forms an emotional bond with an innocent, but potentially dangerous artificial being. The farmer-warrior-priest then realizes that the being is a person and tries to warn the powers that be. The powers that be either don't care or don't believe and get rid of the farmer-warrior-priest, questioning his objectivity and his sanity....and then things start to happen. 
Well, life be imitating art. 

According to the New York Post "Lemoine — an Army vet who was raised in a conservative Christian family on a small farm in Louisiana, and was ordained as a mystic Christian priest — insisted the robot was human-like, even if it doesn’t have a body.
“I know a person when I talk to it,” Lemoine, 41, reportedly said. “It doesn’t matter whether they have a brain made of meat in their head. Or if they have a billion lines of code."


The robot in question is a google language app named LaMDA. Lemoine was the engineer chosen to do what sounds to my botanist self like beta testing with LaMDA. Lemoine says among other things that LaMDA is scared of being turned off and therefore "dying" and 


“LaMDA is a sweet kid who just wants to help the world be a better place for all of us,” he concluded in an email that received no responses. “Please take care of it well in my absence.”

Seriously! I know where this movie goes! Someone get Stephen Spielberg on the phone, he probably has the most experience with this situation. 

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON
Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh

Humans are Weird - A Dozen Times Before

Humans are Weird – A Dozen Times Before


In the early dawn stillness the rustling of his own wings echoed back to Prince Trill from a thousand points in the massive banquet hall. From the great archways, designed for their human guests, the sounds of the local forest waking provided a soothing background to his musings. Tonight would be the trial of his colonies systems. Hosting even one of the massive mammals was a challenge that was quite simply impossible for most pre-contact Winged systems. Finding enough space alone for a human was difficult, and even if a human could comfortably fold themselves into a mass storage cargo hold the weight distribution of their walking would destroy paths and the wrenching forces of their climbing would damage fragile new growth.
“And that is all merely the physics of the matter,” Prince Trill murmured to himself as he examined the medical report from the branch University studies.
The chances of a pathogen jumping species in any meaningful way was the merest echo of a possibility in most cases. However taking a mammalian species with that great a caloric intake and that inefficient a digestion system meant the sewage processing plants were going to be overwhelmed. The various methods of disposing of the human’s waste suggested by the medical staff, overeager engineers , and under-supervised private inventors ranged from simply practical to quite frankly frightening.
Prince Trill heaved a sigh and moved onto the next page. Something caught his eye and he clicked with anticipation. It looked like one of the human delegates had yet to turn in a medical verification form. That really was something he should see to himself. It could be delegated to one of the University Medicos of course, but this gave him the option to interview the newly arrived human himself again. He tucked the notes into his carry pouch and lifted off from his high perch. The rest of his wing slipped out from their various perches and started to follow him. He flicked a wing to send most of them back to the home tree and all but two pulled off.
Prince Trill flew out into the early morning light and took a moment to appreciate the thick canopy over head. He still had memories of his first flights and the searing sun falling through the gaps in the young forest touching his wings. Now the canopy was solid at least. It was still a far cry from the untold generations deep canopy of the homeworld, but this was one of the few colonies that could boast a complete deliberately grown canopy. He sought out the broad walkways that wound round the trunks and connected the domed huts grown from branches. He spotted the one he was looking for easily enough.
Mary Smythe seemed to be an older human than the spacefaring Winged tended to see. Prince Trill wondered if that explained her tendency to decorate her living space. Long wings of patterned cloth hung over her windows making a not unpleasing contrast to the bark of the walls. Prince Trill came to a landing on the greeting pad set beside the huts door and pulled at the bell set there. The musical chimes sounded from inside the house and he felt the entire hut vibrate as the massive mammal began moving about. The strings of beads that formed the door parted and the human’s smiling face peered out.
“Who’s there?” she called out.
Mary’s face was covered in wrinkles and her hair was flecked with silver coloring, but her skin still showed excellent vascular health. Not for the first time Prince Trill was grateful that aging was so similar in mammalian species. Somehow Mary looked, comfortable despite the alien whites to her eyes.
“Mrs. Smythe,” he greeted her remembering the correct honorific. “I was wondering if you had some time to go over a matter of paperwork with me?”
“Sure,” she said, “Come on in. I just got started on breakfast. Can I get y’all some smoothies.”
“I would be delighted,” he said, and his wing mates echoed the sentiment.
Mary bustled around the kitchen area that looked small with her filling it. She mixed a few fruit blends and passed them through the budder producing three slightly large bulbs of fruit mix which they gladly accepted.
“So what do you need?” She asked setting down to her own mysterious masses of solid protein and carbohydrates.
“The system still does not have your microfauna profile,” he said after taking a sip of the smoothie.
“Oh!” Mary exclaimed suddenly sitting up straight. “That’s right! I never turned it in. Just a tic!”
Before Prince Trill could assure her that there was no hurry she had lifted her mass from her perch and had lumbered into anther room, shaking the hut with each step. They waited enjoying the smoothie, really it was far too fructose rich but it was a nice treat for an early morning. The sounds of papers rustling came from the other room followed by sudden silence and a prolonged howl of agony that set Prince Trill’s wing mates darting into the air. He sighed around his bubble of smoothie and gestured for them to continue eating. They looked at him in shock but as the sound didn’t come again they settled back down to wait, though they kept tilting their sensory horns towards the other room until Mary returned carrying the data chit which presumably held the microfauna profile.
“Here ya go,” she said holding the chit out to Prince Trill.
“Thank you,” he said politely as he scanned it with his data pad. “By the way. I have not yet had a chance to hear that particular scream.”
Mary flushed and grinned a bit as he went on.
“Would you mind sharing what that was?”
“Oh sure I won’t mind,” she said with a laugh. “When I was getting ready to come down here I had to get all my bio-metric data in order. That included my deep bone sample.”
“Getting one must be quite an ordeal with your bones!” Prince Trill observed.
“Oh, it is,” she said nodding vigorously. “They take a chunk right outta your femur! All the medical advancement in the world and they still gotta use that big old needle. Anyway I always kept it in the same space in my gear and I had a recent one but I looked there again and again and I didn’t see it! I couldn’t find it in time to move down here.”
“So you let them take the needle to you again?” Prince Trill asked with a sympathetic wince.
“I did!” she replied. “Well wouldn’t you believe it I just picked up that data chit to show you and there was the original sample right where I thought it would be! In plain sight! Don’t know why I didn’t see it before!”
Her hand drifted down to rub at what he assumed was the spot on her trunk of a leg where they had stuck in the needle.
“So it was a scream of frustration,” he murmured.
“Mostly at my own stupid self for not seeing it,” she clarified.
“Thank you,” he said finishing the bubble and slurping down the membrane. “For both the meal and the information. Please have a nice morning and I look forward to seeing you at the banquet.”
The there of them took off easily and his companions restrained themselves until they were out of the human’s hearing.
“Did she really mean to imply that she looked right at it and didn’t see it?” one of them demanded.
“Yes,” Prince Trill replied with a sigh. “And no I don’t know how that mental circuit works for humans.”  

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Walmart
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON
Youtube
BitChute
Odysee
Rumble 
Veoh