M.J. Mandoki's Blog, page 15

Long Winter?

In some parts of Canada, the winter just seems to be dragging on. It is a never ending story to look outside and find yet another layer of fluffy white stuff staring back at the person with the morning coffee cup in the hand. Will it ever end? Of course, it will. The more important question, though: How does one stay inspired and happy to work under the power of the mesmerizing white blanket that pulls one toward the intuitively natural state of hibernation?

I posed this question to a few people for suggestions and consulted some experts online. There are a few obvious answers. Exercise seems to be a popular suggestion. It may help, but it is tough to put on a pair of running shoes knowing that they will soon accumulate slushy, hardened liquid outside. Some people swear that extra vitamins help. Surely, they do. Unfortunately, the psychological effect of the extra snow does not entirely go away by the pills. Good diet? It is always a good choice, but it has no power to beat the picturesque view of the white powder on the ground that drag one’s spirit all the way to Tartarus.

I believe that there isn’t a universal answer to the problem of Old Man who does not want to leave behind his beloved white landscape. The solution has to come from the spirit within. My personal solution is to look at some photos I have taken for the purpose of finishing my novel, The Curse. The joy of remembering the moments I described, based on the photos I took downtown, my main characters walking on the city streets after the shooting, makes me jump in joy. Ironically, the photos portray a winter wonderland. Yet, somehow, it does not matter. I can reread the story of Skinner Tyler and Snake walking on York Street, through the Westminster Bridge and ending up in front of the cat clinic and feel more alive than ever. A picture can become a thousand words! Actually, it became more than a thousand in my case!

All I have to say is that there isn’t a universal way of staying inspired and happy. There are just ways of doing so. For a writer, it comes from writing or looking at inspirational photos about scenes she has already described. For others, it may be something different. The point is for each person to find that inspiration and source of happiness. What is yours?

M. J. Mandoki

April Fools’ Day: Appropriate and Inappropriate Jokes

We all want to have a little fun from time to time. April Fools’ Day is a perfect occasion for it. It is an international day for jokes, pranks and other fun stuff. The working world is also in on it. Employees often try to get most out of this day. With so much enthusiasm and energy spent on April Fools’ Day, the question arises: What is appropriate and what is inappropriate to do?

Let’s start with the inappropriate jokes and pranks. First, it is inappropriate to do anything that is threatening or endangering in nature. For example, it is inappropriate to joke about emergencies. One employee jokingly remarked to security that they would love to call in a bomb threat just to see how security guards would��react. Besides the fact that it is illegal and punishable by law, it would certainly be an inappropriate joke. The same rule applies to employees’ family and friends. It is very disturbing to tell your co-worker that the hospital called that his wife was just involved in a car accident. This is outright immoral to do! Along the same line, it is not acceptable to tell your boss that he has lost a multimillion dollar deal because one of his clients just walked away. It is very distasteful to give him a coronary heart problem just for you to have a laugh. Creating an emergency just to see some adrenaline level rise in people’s body is not acceptable. Thus, it is safe to say that jokes that threaten or endanger businesses or lives should be avoided. They are not funny!

Second, holding up or slowing down a business to have a laugh is also inappropriate. For example, one security guard temporarily cancelled another security guard’s building pass to get into the building I worked at. The guard was upset. He got into his car and drove away. He stayed away for the next fifteen minutes. Basically, the plan backfired, slowing the shift change. At another workplace, people hid important paperwork. The work was temporarily slowed and the workers were annoyed. Holding up or slowing down work is not funny. The problem is not just that the business loses money, but also that the workers get annoyed. Upsetting people is not funny!

What is an appropriate joke? How does it look like? Basically, an appropriate joke invites human weaknesses. It allows human weaknesses to surface innocently. For example, a friend of mine spread rumours that there was a wet T-shirt contest involving both males and females in the cafeteria. Then, he watched how many people suddenly wanted to buy a coffee. He placed male and female mannequins in the corner of the cafeteria with wet T-shirts on and placed a sign above them that said “Gottcha. April Fool!” Now that is funny! Another person placed a deck of Tarot cards on a small table near the water cooler with a sign that said, “On a five minute break”. He told people that a fortune teller was giving out free advice on how to win the jackpot on the lottery. Then, he watched how many people would fall for the joke and hang around the table waiting for the fortuneteller to return from her break. That is also hilarious!

The point is that an appropriate joke or prank would invite people to act out on their weaknesses. It does not force people into fearful situations or situations where they would get agitated or annoyed. An appropriate joke or prank makes people admit to their own weaknesses and allow them to have a laugh at themselves. Next year, think of something appropriately funny! It is good to have a laugh!

M. J. Mandoki

Happiness Project For March: Remote Viewing

As I said in December, I decided to do a happiness project, which entails that I do something unusual, strange or, outright silly every month that I would normally not do. For the month of March, I chose to practice remote viewing. Remote viewing is a psychic technique where one focuses and tries to figure out the physically remote location and activity of a particular person.

I practiced this technique with my husband. During my break times at work, I tried to focus on where he was and what he was doing. I texted him to explain him the images I saw in my mind. Sometimes, I had images and other times I just had hunches. I was not entirely certain whether it would work, but I did not take the exercise too seriously. After all, this was a happiness project and the whole point was to have fun.

Once my husband received the message, he texted me back to explain where he was and what he was actually doing. The great thing about his job is that he is currently a delivery driver with no set schedule. He receives his calls from a dispatcher during his work hours. His location is unpredictable and varies from moment to moment. He delivers for about fifteen different restaurants in the city.

How did I do? Overall, I did surprisingly well. Fifty percent of the times, I was able to correctly identify parts of what he was doing or where he was located at. Here are some great examples. I told my husband that I saw him getting a call from Barakat restaurant and going to the address of 875 Black Friars Street. He was on another delivery at the time. A few minutes later, he texted me back that he received a call to pick up food at Barakat restaurant and deliver it to 341 Black Acres Street. To cite anther example, I told my husband that he was picking up at Wok Box restaurant and taking the delivery to 1265 Adelaide Street North. I had the right restaurant and the actual address was 1235 Adelaide Street North. The most spectacular example involved the same restaurant. I told him that he was going to get a call to go to Wok Box restaurant and deliver it��to 646 Talbot Street. A few minutes later, he received a call and was told to pick up from Wok Box restaurant and deliver it to 666 Talbot Street.

Do people have psychic ability? Can they see distant things and people that are out of range? Based on this brief experience, I can say that people do have dormant abilities. They are dormant because most people do not use them. Some people dismiss the ability outright without trying it first. Some people are just too afraid to try using it. Whatever the reason is, most people are not practicing to develop it. Of course, nobody can use something proficiently, if the person refuses to practice it first, just like nobody can ride a bicycle, if the person refuses to get on and start pedaling.

I would like to add a note to this analysis. I tried to use remote viewing and spot my husband remotely in the present. Yet, it did not work out perfectly. I seemed to spot him most of the time in the near future. This means that I must have precognitive ability and orient myself toward the immediate future knowledge of a distant event, instead of the present situation. Still, this exercise impressed me so much about the ability of the human mind that I decided to keep practicing. I would like to know how far I can take this ability. Basically, I would like to see how accurately I can learn to predict a distant event.

What I would really want to learn at this point is if anybody out there has ever tried to develop any psychic ability. Have you tried anything? Did it work? Please, let me know. I am very curious.

Since I am very impressed with psychic abilities right now, I will try something similar next month. I will see how strong the mind is. Starting April 1st, I will repeat one hundred times a day that I am lucky and write this statement down at least twenty five times. I would like to see, if my philosophical conviction is correct that the physical world is mind dependent. I will keep a journal to see if the constant affirmation of a statement, repeated a large number of times for thirty days, makes a big difference. I do believe in the power of affirmation, but I never tried repeating it so many times a day. I will see if it works or I just end up driving myself crazy.

M. J. Mandoki

If I Had Only Eight Minutes to Live

On Tuesday morning, Flight 9525 took off in Barcelona, Spain heading to Dusseldorf, Germany. Hundred and fifty unsuspecting souls had plans and lives to live. Fifty-three minutes later they were dead, amongst them sixteen teenagers and two babies who barely started out their lives. They probably did not know they were going to die until the last few minutes, or even less than that time. This made me think about the fragility and mystery of life. It can be stopped and over so suddenly! My contemplative thoughts led me to ask the question what would happen if we only had minutes to live. Try out this exercise. Imagine that you have one minute to live. You have a piece of paper and a pen in your hand that will make it through the airplane crash. Start the clock and start writing. When the minute is done, stop writing. What did you have to say and whom did you address it to? Was it to some Divine Power? Was it to your family? Was it to humanity? What was the message? Was it an advice? A declaration of love? Asking for forgiveness?

My message contains a message of love to my husband and family, asking them to take care of each other and learn to go on and be happy without me. I also spoke to the Divine Mysterious Power of the Universe, telling her that I hope I lived a valuable life and that she would help me get to wherever I am going when I die.

After I wrote my message, I thought about this a little more. Although the message seems to be very satisfactory, it is odd that I wrote it as a goodbye note. After all, I have a chance to say these things now. I believe that this is an inspiration to take the courage and tell my husband and family how I feel about them. It is also an inspiration to ask the Divine Power what I can do to live a more meaningful life. Of course, this does not mean that I do not currently live a meaningful life. It simply means that maybe I can do something more or something differently.

Read your message. Does the message contain something you can currently say or do? Take the courage and say it to the people you love or the power you believe in! Or, do the things you really want to do! Or, forgive, sing, be happy, complete your bucket list… Do it now! Don’t wait until you are down to the last minute!

M. J. Mandoki

Reflection on Canada Reads

 

Examining the merits of Canada Reads in his Master’s Thesis, entitled Reading Canada Reads��(2009), Doug Diaczuk points out a number of advantages to the program. First, Canada Reads helps the sale of valuable works that the public might not know about and otherwise not appreciate. Second, it has a clearly felt influence on Canadian literature. Third, it has a role in shaping the Canadian culture. Of course, there are many more advantages that could be cited. The program being very successful, most people assume that its values are clearly established and, therefore, celebrate its presence in Canadian life. Despite its success and advantages, I would like to be the dissenting voice and argue that Canada Reads may not be as helpful as many think.

There are a number of points I would like to bring up in my defense. First, Canada Reads is a television show. As all television shows, its number one aim is to be successful as a show. Thus, the show itself had to be designed in such a way that would keep the audience watching. In the case of Canada Reads, this means two things. Firstly, the producers needed to bring in celebrities that the public recognize. These celebrities may not necessarily be chosen because they are the best experts the show can use. Often times, their public image is more important than their ability to contribute. Secondly, the show needed to be designed in such a way that it would be exciting for the audience to watch. Hence, the show became a “voting-off-the-island” style of elimination process in front of the audience. Whether this is a good way to go about choosing the book everyone should read in the country is highly questionable.

Besides the theatrical value of a live show, the program also has a specific orientation. As it says on its main page, “Canada Reads 2015 is all about books that can change perspectives, challenge stereotypes and illuminate issues”. Maybe this is just my imagination, but this mission statement seems to be geared toward social and cultural concerns. Although these concerns are inarguably important, there are Canadian books written that do not necessarily fit the description but are still valuable. For example, a professor, Dr. W. J. Waluchow, whose classes I used to take in graduate school, has written and taught his extremely valuable book called, A Common Law Theory of Judicial Review: The Living Tree (Cambridge Studies in Philosophy and Law), 2009. Dr. Waluchow defends a theory of a flexible and adaptable bill of rights; a theory, which can play an important role in the shaping of the understanding of Canadian constitutional democracy. Yet, his book would never make the list of Canada Reads because it does not have the type of social and cultural concerns that the program is oriented toward. This means that Canada Reads is very narrowly defined in its mission.

Finally, Canada Reads has too great an influence on the reading public. The program seems to have taken power away from the public to define what they think is a valuable book to read. Instead, Canada Reads wants to dictate to the public what books should matter. This attitude defies the essence of democracy and free thinking. The society people live in should not dictate to them the values they should be concerned about at a particular time in history. The social and cultural issues and values should be able to naturally surface, given the current challenges, so that they can be properly evaluated and addressed. It is the public that should take the power and let the leaders know what they are truly concerned about.

Although Canada Reads may be valuable to an extent, I seriously think that it has more disadvantages than advantages. The program is a celebrity television show, it is narrowly defined and it already has too much power. I wish that the cultural ministers in this country could get together and replace the show with something more meaningful to recognize great Canadian writers. At the same time, I have to congratulate to all contestants, since the books they wrote are wonderful and great additions to Canadian literature.

M. J. Mandoki

Educational Stories for Children

Everybody wants his or her children to grow up well educated. Usually, this starts early with the types of books children read and the types of television programs the little ones watch. Of course, parents want to choose valuable educational tools. For example, Sesame Street is a successful program that parent encourage them to watch and��children have been enjoying for decades. Despite the effort, children’s educational books and programs do not always have the qualities that they should and they certainly are not the same kind that they used to be before the modern invention of technology.

This argument became apparent to me when I was reading The Wisdom of the Myths by Luc Ferry. He is the former National Minister of Education in France who wrote a few pages of comments about children’s educational programs and settings, before introducing his description of Greek mythology in his book. He argues that not only the programs on television are most often lacking in serious content, but they are also frequently interrupted by commercials that try to orient children toward a society of consumption, the world of getting and spending (Ferry, 39). This ideology trains their mind to want to hoard more and more stuff, finding happiness in objects around them, instead of finding happiness within themselves. Ferry argues that, “the less we experience a rich interior life on a moral, spiritual and cultural level the more we are given over to the frenetic need to acquire and consume” (Ferry 39). His overall point is that parents need to nurture the rich interior life of children by valuing the universal human struggles that show up in classic literatures, such as in Greek mythology. They carry within them the human challenge of birth, death, suffering, punishment, hope, justice, courage and many other values that children have to face in life. Coming to terms with these issues, the little ones are better prepared to grow up and gain an inner balance and strength of character. This will help them to be less dependent on stuff around them that they are driven to frenetically buy and more dependent on an inner wisdom to be guided by.

I think this is a valuable lesson for parents and caregivers to learn. Children need to develop a rich interior life. After all, things come and go, but the human wisdom stays for a lifetime. So, next time you are in a book store, do yourself a favour and buy some books that represent classic literature to read for children at bedtime. They will thank you for it when they grow up and have to make life changing decisions!

Ferry, Luc. Wisdom of Myths: How Greek Mythology Can Change Your Life. HarperCollins: 2014, http://www.amazon.com/The-Wisdom-Myths-Mythology-Learning-ebook/dp/B00DB361G0

M. J. Mandoki

The Power of The Mind?

Recently, I spoke to someone with anxiety disorder. He told me that anxiety was the result of cognitive distortion. Basically, the mind gets faulty messages that cause the person to overreact to a situation. According to this theory, there are eight different types of, what he called, super villains at work. The eight are the exaggerator, the control freak, the safety-first guy, the fortune teller, the name caller, the extremist, the superstition boy and the passive girl. My acquaintance explained to me what these designations meant. I found it so interesting that I even asked for a photocopy of the few pages of literature he had on him. After all, everyone lives with some degree of anxiety.

As we went through all this material together, I found a serious problem with one of his villains: the superstitious boy. According to the theory, a superstitious boy believes in magical thinking. This means that thinking about something will make it more likely to happen. This is a problem for people with anxiety because they feel anxious when they think negative thoughts. They believe that thinking awful things will make awful things happen. The literature claims that thoughts are powerless. Thoughts are just thoughts and a person can write down awful things on paper repeatedly to see that those awful things never come to pass. My acquaintance told me that his therapist even wrote down the following on the board: “I wish my husband died.” She claimed that it was a demonstration for thoughts being completely powerless. She even admitted to writing it down frequently. Basically, thoughts have no power, therefore, she could wished her husband dead all she wanted.

I was shocked listening to my acquaintance’s story of his therapist and of the theory on the superstitious boy. I did not want to negate his therapist and cause him to doubt her, but I walked away from the conversation slightly disturbed. Why? A theory behind the superstitious boy is definitely physical in nature. It is harbouring the theory of philosophical materialism that advocates a world that is strictly physical in nature. The idea is that evolution of the brain allows people to think and, therefore, thoughts are just powerless by-products in the world. They have no power. Although this is a legitimate theory, it is, nevertheless, a theory only. This is a philosophical view, not a scientific fact. It is important to note that it is not a fact because most spiritually and religiously oriented people would certainly disagree with it on at least two fronts: the metaphysical and the moral levels. These people argue that thoughts have power and this is the reason they repeat affirmations, visualizations and prayers day after day. Believing that reality is greater than the physical world, thoughts are held to be more important than the philosophical materialists attribute to it. Secondly, it is morally unacceptable to wish a person something bad. Of course, everyone gets angry and says things he or she will eventually regret. However, a woman wishing her husband dead repeatedly, even for the sake of a demonstration, may be pushing it too far. The thought that she thinks about her husband says a lot about her and has the power to, at least, shape her mental image of her husband. Thus, it is a very questionable behaviour.

Moreover, experiments have shown that thoughts do have an effect on people. For example, Richard Wiseman, explains in his book, The Luck Factor, an experiment with people based on their luck. He conducted the experiment with those who believed that they were lucky and those who believed they were not lucky. He created a newspaper with pictures in it. He asked people to count the number of pictures in a short amount of set time. He told them that if they could do it, they win money. There was catch, though. On page two, he placed a half page of advertisement that said that they could stop counting because there were 43 pictures in the newspaper. Apparently, the lucky people saw the message and stopped counting, winning the money. The unlucky people never saw the advertisement and kept going. Therefore, it seems that believing in being lucky has a definite effect on people. Of course, one has to learn to believe in being lucky. Belief is strengthened by the repeated positive thinking that one is, in fact, lucky. In short, thoughts do have power.

Maybe, I take this too seriously, but I do believe in the power of thoughts. I could never purposely repeat or write down awful things about myself or people. I do not want to negate any therapist out there, but I would not want to teach people to repeat negative thoughts to prove that they do not have power. The problem is that thoughts might just have power. I think a good compromise can be reached here, though. If someone has to write down those awful things to get rid of the anxiety, at least, I would ask them to tear the paper up at the end and ceremoniously burn it. It is a symbolic gesture that those thoughts are destroyed and gone for good. Am I crazy? Maybe. But, I tend to believe in the power of thoughts. After all, I am a hopeless optimist.

M. J. Mandoki

How Much Social Media is Enough?

Some experts argue that social media is a great invention. It helps to connect with others and to become informed. A person can reunite with old friends, look for new career opportunities and research topics of interest. On the other hand, some experts claim that social media can do serious damage to a person. It can deprive��a person of privacy, leave one vulnerable to white collar criminals and make him or her addicted to electronic devices. Most people understand that both sides of the argument have merit and there are valuable lessons to be learned. However, most people also acknowledge that the truth is between these two extremes. Some social media exposure seems to be necessary nowadays, but too much may be harmful. The question is: How much is enough?

It is clear that the answer will be relative. Social studies have come up with varying numbers as to how much the average teenager or adult should spend on social media devices. However, a one-size-fits-all solution does not work. A researcher, a marketer or entertainment journalist might spend many hours during work on social media. On the other hand, a landscaper, a pilot or a paramedic may spend very little time on it after a long day of work. Hence, there is no real fixed amount of time one can prescribe to people for spending time on social media.

Still, given the behavior of teenagers, the questions remain as to how much is enough and at what point it becomes harmful. The answer came to me from my own experience with marketing my book. Being advised to go full speed ahead, I put all my energy into spreading the news about my book, The Curse. After a while, though, I came to the realization that I invested too much time into it. Basically, my second book, Real Life Choices, suffered the consequences because I did not make any progress on it. Thus, I had to stop spending as much time on social media as I did. I needed to scale back and find a healthy balance. In short, I learned that each person had to decide for him or herself at what point the use of social media becomes too much. It simply requires an honest reflection on the issue and a proper adjustment of time spent on it. Others do not have the answer to this question since each person’s situation is unique.

In summary, social media is harmful when it becomes too much and each person has to engage in an honest reflection to know when one reaches that point.

M. J. Mandoki

Success Means Forgetting About Statistics

Nowadays, ambitious individuals looking for success often consult statistical studies to determine their future in the work force. For example, students my research articles on the internet��to find out what professions would give them a year-to-year increase in income to determine what they want to major in. Of course, statistics can be helpful. But, do they help you to be successful?

In general, the answer depends on what you mean by success. If you are looking for a steady increase in salary, statistical studies may point you in the right direction. However, they do not ensure personal success. Why not? Do you remember what people tell nervous flyers? Statistically, air travel is the safest method of transportation. Air travel has the lowest record of accidents occurring. It is true. So, why is this argument incapable of easing the nervous traveler’s mind? Have you ever watched the Mayday show on television? Although accidents are rare, they do happen. Basically, statistics tell you that they are rare, but they do not guarantee that your airplane will not fall within the rarity of accidents happening. You may just be on one of those airplanes that will never reach its destination. Since accidents do happen, somebody has to be on one of those airplanes, too. And, it could be you. After all, why does everyone think that it is always other people who get hurt or die? Does this analysis seem dark? Well, it is not meant to be. The point is that statistics may point you in the right direction, based on the numbers that show you where most of the candidates entering a particular profession have success, but they do not guarantee that you will be one of them.

As sinister as this idea may sound, it also works vice versa. You may enter a profession where chances are less for you to succeed; but, you may shine, nevertheless. Jim Carry, the actor, is famous for this argument. Despite the fact that his father was a great musician, he ended up losing his job. The family lived in their vehicle for a while. Jim Carry grew up understanding that it can happen to anybody. Hence, he entered the risky profession of acting where, statistically speaking, few people ever made it on the big stage. At the end, he was one of them.

This is the reason writers should not be discouraged either. Statistically, most writers do not make it on the market. The Guardian reports that most independent writers make less than $500 per year in average from their writings. However, statistics do not tell you how you, personally, are going to do. If you give up writing because statistics tell you that most authors are unsuccessful, you will not have a chance, at all. You cannot be successful, if you do not write. Hence, you are better off not worrying about statistics.

Basically, being successful goes beyond average statistics. You can be successful on any field. The secret lies within your passion and dedication. So, instead of worrying about statistics, you need to ask yourself what you love and really want to do in this life, willing to commit endless hours to it. Following your heart will bring you much better results than worrying about the statistics of success.

M. J. Mandoki

Ideal Writing Conditions

E.B. White once wrote: “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.” It is true that truly ideal conditions may never exit; however, writers do have preferences, daily routines. Do these routines help? Do they even matter?

It appears that writers have preferred time and/or space to create their work. In terms of time, most writers like to put most effort into it in the morning. Benjamin Franklin, Arthur Schopenhauer and Earnest Hemingway are excellent examples for wanting to have an early start on their masterpieces. Others like to hang onto their coffee or tea cup for a while before getting to it. For instance, Simone de Beauvoir did not let go off her cup of tea before ten o’clock in the morning. Some stop working at lunch time, others continue after lunch. Benjamin Franklin used to work after lunch and Simone de Beauvoir returned to her writing at evening time.

In terms of space, writers may disagree whether a special place is needed to concentrate. Almost everyone has heard about the ones who rent out a cabin in the woods to finish a project. In general, writers are not picky about the place they produce work. Instead, they may be more sensitive to the distraction around them. For example, E. B. White never cared about the commotion around him in the living room during his work, while Phillip Roth needed a studio set up for his writing where he could pace and think.

Do these routines help or matter? They do, to an extent. However, it is important to remember that each routine is specific to each writer. There is not one��winning routine to adopt to be successful. Rather, each person needs to know him or herself to develop a routine, a special time and space to write. What happens, if someone cannot find any special time and/or place and keeps postponing a project? In such a case, it is clear that the person has chosen the wrong profession. Although a writer may need to create special conditions to work, he or she is unstoppable in creating them. A writer wants to write; he or she cannot hold back. If someone procrastinates on writing and finds excuses not to do the project, the person’s heart is not in it.

This means that it may be important to find special conditions to write, but one’s heart and mind have to be devoted to it. After all, the magic lives in the writer’s soul. If one is a writer, the magic is already there, burning with desire to be unleashed to make a difference.

M. J. Mandoki