M.J. Mandoki's Blog, page 11

November 7, 2015

Happiness Project for the Month of October: The Meaning of Life


As I said last December, I decided to do a happiness project, which entails that I do something unusual, strange or, outright silly every month that I would normally not do.  For the month of October, I decided to ask people to answer the question: What is the meaning of life?


Before I talk about people’s answers to the question, I would like to say a few words about their reactions to my question.  In general, people looked at me strangely.  I am not certain whether they thought that I was simply weird or I have just escaped from a mental facility, but they certainly looked stunned.  Some people giggled and thought that the question was a joke.  Still, others politely smiled and tried to change topic.  Basically, asking the question what the meaning of life is taught me that people do not think about this great philosophical question very often and they are very surprised to hear it.


What did people think the meaning of life was?  In general, I found that the answers fell into several categories.  The most common answer was an honest, “I don’t know”.  I appreciate people’s honesty.  In reality, we have opinions, but we really do not know the answer for a fact.  The second type of answer was: “I have not figured it out, yet.”  I heard this from at least ten people, including my coworkers, Mark and Kate.  I believe that these individuals at least have a hope of figuring it out one day.


The third type of answer seems to be hedonistic.  “Eat, Sleep and Have Sex,” came from a 28 years old worker at Tim Horton’s.  My coworker, Steve, had a variation on this idea.  He thought the meaning was to “Eat, Sleep and Pay Taxes”.  The point is that some human beings are looking for somewhat of a good time in this life; although, some are more optimistic about it than others.


The more family oriented people found meaning in having a family and friends.  A 32 years old grocery clerk revealed to me that the greatest spiritual experience she had ever had was giving birth to her child.  She thought that having children and loving them was the meaning of life.  This seemed like a heartfelt story with a wonderful message.


On the other hand, some clever, mentally oriented philosophers jokingly said that the meaning of life was to figure out the meaning of life.  When I asked them how far they have gotten with the project, all of them gave me the same answer: “I am still working on it”.


The spiritually oriented individuals thought that learning lessons or finding God was the answer.  I stumbled upon a devout Christian who wanted me to find Jesus.  I was not convinced about the Jesus element in the story, but it made me think about the importance religion played in people’s life.  A few emotionally centered New Age people tried to convey the message of love.  They thought that loving oneself and others was the ultimate answer.  As noble as it sounded, I felt that they seemed to neglect the desire for human knowledge.


All in all, I have to say that it was very interesting to ask the question about the meaning of life, even if I triggered some strange initial reactions in people.  It turns out that people, in general, have often times strong opinions on the matter.  However, the opinions vary depending on their personality, upbringing, orientation and even career.  So, what is the meaning of life?  It depends on who you ask, as it should be.


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on November 07, 2015 11:38

October 31, 2015

It is Halloween! Or, is it? Some Europeans Celebrate Day of the Dead.


It is October 31, Halloween. It is time to put on a costume, party and hand out candy to kids. Right? Well, it depends on where you are from. I was born and raised in Continental Europe where this tradition does not exist. Something else exists instead. Just like people in Mexico, the Continental Europeans, especially in Central Europe, celebrate Day of the Dead.


Originally a three day holiday, the most important celebration is on November 1st. People go to the cemetery after dark, to the family grave site, and hold a family ceremony of remembering those who have passed away. They usually light a red candle at the beginning and white candles for each of their loved ones who have passed. They say prayers and send messages of love to the dead in Summerland. Some ask the dead to come, to pass through the portal of the beyond and be with them, so that they can feel their presence. At the end of the evening, they leave the candles burning when they walk away.


This is not creepy. It is not meant to be. It is a tradition from the pre-Christian era of Europe to acknowledge, remember and show respect to those who have been here, but no longer are. It is also a chance to heal for those who have recently lost loved ones. It is chance to unload what is in the heart, perhaps to say what was never said, but should have been. It is a time for tears, memories of good times and a spiritual connection that surpasses all barriers. Mostly, it is a time to let go. Once the family members called upon the dead, prayed for their souls and shed tears, it is time to let go off them with the hope that they are now happy in the beyond. It is time to begin a new existence without them, being at peace with their fate. It is a spiritual and psychological renewal and a commitment to go on in this life without them, but with all their memories and love left in the heart intact.


There are no costumes, candies, parties or laughter. It is a sombre time. But, it is an ancient and beautiful tradition that brings love, closure and a sense of new beginning on the path of destiny.


So, try to be understanding, if you come across a European household where people are not in the partying mood. They are not meant to be rude; they are just remembering the loved ones who have passed, taking part in one of Europe’s most ancient traditions.


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on October 31, 2015 10:35

October 26, 2015

What is the Meaning of Life?

I am doing survey on the question of the meaning of life.  This is part of the happiness project, I am doing every month.  The happiness project entails that I do something unusual or strange every month.  This month, I am asking people about the meaning of life.  If you want to participate, I would like your first name, gender, your approximate age and occupation, followed by a sentence or two about what you think the meaning of life is.  Thank you for your participation.  The closing date for participation is October 31, 2015.  I will put up the blog on November 1, 2015


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on October 26, 2015 14:07

October 15, 2015

Competition Time for Writers


Most of the short story contests are held at fall time.  It is a great time for any writer to shine!  I know that some people have a hard time writing shorter stories.  The word limits are usually between 750 words and 4000 words.  Yes, the word limitations can be tough.  The plot has to be simple because there is no space for complex turn of events or character development.  A writer has to be creative.  However, it is worth trying to submit one or two stories.  The reason to submit is simple.  It is a test to see, if the experts like the story.  Chances are that, if the experts like it, the public may like it.  Hence, it is a great challenge to take on.


In Canada, the best contest to get into is the CBC Short Story Prize.  I also entered shorter contests last year, as well.  The most enjoyable one is the contest held by Red Tuque Books, often referred to as the Canadian Tales Short Story Contest.  This year the theme is tales of the heart.  Outside Canada, one of the most prestigious contests to enter is the Writer’s Digest Short Short Story Competition.   The usual required length of the story is 1500 words.


Some places hold other types of writing competitions, as well.  Both the CBC and the Writer’s Digest hold poetry competition, for example.  Writer’s Digest also has a general writing competition that includes essays, biography, popular and literary fictions.


So, writers, let’s get into the story time!


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on October 15, 2015 14:42

October 12, 2015

Canadian Thanksgiving: What Can A Writer Be Thankful For?


It is Canadian Thanksgiving.  What can I, as a writer, be thankful for?  Firstly, I am thankful for my husband and family’s support.  I could not have become a writer without them.  I am also grateful for my friends and coworkers’ presence in my life.  I would like to take this opportunity thank my coworker, Ray, and my nephew, Anthony for their help with the proofreading and the cover of my latest book.  I am also happy to acknowledge all readers of my blogs and books.  Mostly, I am grateful for the talent I have, whatever power provided it in this life.  Thank you to all of you!


Whether you are a writer, or not, what are you grateful for?


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on October 12, 2015 12:01

October 6, 2015

Happiness Project for the Months of August and September: Unusual Activities

As I said last December, I decided to do a happiness project, which entails that I do something unusual, strange or, outright silly every month that I would normally not do. For the months of August and September, I decided to visit unusual places that I normally would not do. The followings are the highlights.


First, I visited a new age store. I saw some interesting items that I do not see every day. I saw tarot cards, runes, crystal balls, North American aboriginal healing kits, herbs, weird-looking statues. I took my time in the store. I actually read the instructions on the back of the boxes to learn about them. I also browsed through the books. I saw great value in reading books about natural healing techniques. The books on herbal medication was fascinating. I think it was worth the trip. My only objection was to the music in the store. They played nature themed music with waterfall in the background and it made me want to go to the bathroom after a while!


I visited a knitting group. My grandmother knew how to knit really well. She made me sweaters when I was a kid. So, I walked down on memory lane watching the older ladies knitting. I know how to knit simple scarves, but nothing fancy. I learned a few tricks. I decided to relearn and practice this ancient art. I have some needles and yarn now. I started with the simple scarf again. Once I get into it, I will use the tricks I have learned.


I went to the library for a colouring session that was held for kids. The librarian assumed that I had a child with me and offered me a colouring book and pencils. I sat with the kids and pretended that I was there with a little boy. We coloured giraffes, owls, cats and dogs. I had fun! I felt like a kid again.


I went to do nature photography with my husband. I took pictures of trees, flowers, birds, the sky before dusk and the moon at evening time. I have hundreds of pictures now. I am very proud of the bird pictures and the moon pictures. They turned out fabulous! I don’t remember the last time, I took pictures in the park. Usually, I am so busy that I do not even have time to notice the flowers.   This adventure taught me a lesson about the importance of looking for the little things in life. I think, we all need to slow down and pay attention to the small beautiful things before life whizzes by.


Overall, I learned that being open minded and adventurous is important. We all need to get out a little more and enjoy life! Trying new things, no matter how weird or out of the comfort zone they are, are important. I strongly advise everyone to try something different sometimes. It is worth it!


Bird


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on October 06, 2015 16:49

September 30, 2015

The Difference Between Psychological Fiction and Paranormal Fiction


Most people are unclear about the difference between psychological fiction and paranormal fiction. They try to classify most of these types of works under the better known term of paranormal fiction. However, there is a difference that should not be overlooked.


Psychological fiction (also referred to as psychological realism) emphasizes the inner thoughts, motives, life of an individual. These inner workings are crucial or at least very important in explaining the character’s actions. Often times, there is more emphasis on the character than the plot, although the plot is not neglected in the story.


In a paranormal fiction (also known as supernatural fiction), elements of the world that lie outside the understanding of scientific reality or philosophical materialism (physicalism) are included in the story. For example, the stories may include ghosts, vampires, shape-shifters and beings with magical powers. This type of fiction incorporates a part of reality that cannot be proved by traditional scientific means.


It is tempting to classify many examples of psychological fiction under paranormal fiction because the work can be interpreted along the lines of the paranormal. A good example is Henry James’ The Turn of the Screw (1898). The story focuses on the inner motivation of the protagonist, which becomes key to understanding the ending. The motivation can be interpreted as the result of a disturbed woman or as the result of supernatural activity she becomes aware of. Still, the story is not decidedly paranormal since both interpretations are possible. Hence, it should be classified under the broader category of psychological fiction.


The general rule is that, if the reader has a choice to interpret the motivation of the character as paranormal or non-paranormal, then, the story is a psychological fiction. If the work is decidedly paranormal in its interpretation then it is classified as a paranormal fiction.


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on September 30, 2015 14:24

September 24, 2015

The Key to Success is Determination


“The key to success is determination,” is a common expression that is proving to be true in my life.  I entered five short competitions in this past year.  I kept going even though I knew that many other people participated, as well, and the chances of getting good results, statistically speaking, were slim.


Well, my determination is paying off.  I just received a letter from Polar Expressions Publishing that my entry has made it to the top group.  (Since I am still in the running for the top prizes, I cannot reveal the title of my story.)  Not only am I in the top group, which in itself is an achievement, but my story, along with the top 250, will be published in their short story collection, Whereever We Roam, by the end of this year.  The collection will also be sent to the National Library and Archives Canada for preservation in Canada’s documentary history.  So, I am not only an independently published author now, but a traditionally published author, as well.  This makes me incredibly happy!


I have to say that the good old saying that the key to success is determination is true.  I am determined to be a successful writer.  I do everything I can to make it happen and, I am starting to have great results.  I recommend this approach to everyone else.


To congratulate me or to agree with me on my philosophy, please, press the like button when you finished reading this blog.  Thank you!


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on September 24, 2015 08:18

September 20, 2015

The Biggest Mistake of Want-To-Be Writers


I have run into a few people who told me that they wanted to write a book…one day. Apparently, they have the idea and the desire to write, but they postpone it anyway. I have to say that this is the biggest mistake want-to-be writers do.


There seem to be two great reasons for the procrastination. Perfectionists use the reason that they are not ready. They want to read books about how to write a book and take writing classes. Surely, if a person has no experience in writing, some preparation might be necessary. For example, I had a background in essay writing, but not in creative writing. Hence, I read a book called Teach Yourself Writing a Novel by Nigel Watts (2006). Then, I started to write. The problem with perfectionists is that they want to be perfect novel writers before they ever write a novel. Basically, they want to over prepare. In reality, there is no such thing as being a perfect writer. Nobody is ever perfect, not even the writers who have been doing it for years.


The second reason people postpone writing a book is that they claim that it is not the right time. They are too busy. They have small children or parents to care for. They have to worry about their careers. They have a new house that is waiting to be renovated or decorated. They are busy and the time to write is not now. Or, they don’t have the money to hire cover designers and editors. They do not have money to take time off work to write. Or, they are not in the right state of mind. They are stressed out. They can’t focus. They are not inspired at the moment. Excuses after excuses! The fact is that there is no right time to write. The conditions will never be perfect to start. If they wait for the perfect time to write, they will be waiting forever.


The secret to writing is to start, whether the writer is ready or not. One will never be perfect enough and the circumstances will never be ideal to write a book. Therefore, the person might just start writing. How about today?


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on September 20, 2015 09:19

Biggest Mistake of Want-To-Be Writers


I have run into a few people who told me that they want to write a book…one day. Apparently, they have the idea and the desire to write, but they postpone it anyway. I have to say that this is the biggest mistake want-to-be writers do.


There seem to be two great reasons for the procrastination. Perfectionists use the reason that they are not ready. They want to read books about how to write a book and take writing classes. Surely, if a person has no experience in writing, some preparation might be necessary. For example, I had a background in essay writing, but not in creative writing. Hence, I read a book called Teach Yourself Writing a Novel by Nigel Watts (2006). Then, I started to write. The problem with perfectionists is that they want to be perfect novel writers before they ever write a novel. Basically, they want to over prepare. In reality, there is no such thing as being a perfect writer. Nobody is ever perfect, not even the writers who have been doing it for years.


The second reason people postpone writing a book is that they claim that it is not the right time. They are too busy. They have small children or parents to care for. They have to worry about their careers. They have a new house that is waiting to be renovated or decorated. They are busy and the time to write is not now. Or, they don’t have the money to hire cover designers and editors. They do not have money to take time off work to write. Or, they are not in the right state of mind. They are stressed out. They can’t focus. They are not inspired at the moment. Excuses after excuses! The fact is that there is no right time to write. The conditions will never be perfect to start. If they wait for the perfect time to write, they will be waiting forever.


The secret to writing is to start, whether the writer is ready or not. One will never be perfect enough and the circumstances will never be ideal to write a book. Therefore, the person might just start writing. How about today?


M. J. Mandoki


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Published on September 20, 2015 09:19