M.J. Mandoki's Blog, page 10
January 21, 2016
People One Should Never Argue With
Recently, I have had what I initially thought was an intellectual argument with an acquaintance. I presented a hypothetical scenario and waited to hear a response. Once the response arrived, I thought, she did not properly address the argument, so I clarified my position. The second answer was a nasty, emotionally loaded outburst from her that ended up in being defriended on Facebook.
The event made me think about with what type of people one should not be arguing. I came up with a list. I have to say that the list may not be exhaustive, but it offers a good start to think about when a person is better off not arguing. One should never argue with the following types of people:
The fanatic. The fanatic cannot be moved by any argument. Anyone who argues with a fanatic is wrong or blind to facts. There are no facts or reasons that the fanatic accepts as evidence from others. One may try to ask a fanatic straightforward the facts or reasons that she would be willing to accept as evidence, but the fanatic usually does not respond. It is not possible to argue with the fanatic because she is already convinced and is unwilling to be moved away from her original position.
The extremely biased. The extremely biased person is usually found in the political arena holding onto a conservative, traditional position or in the religious arena holding onto a set, scriptural interpretation of religion. Of course, not all politicians or religious people are biased. However, the extremely biased person is often found amongst them. The person swears on a long-held and tried tradition or scripture that represents the absolute truth. He knows what is true and disagreeing with the person means disagreeing with something that is written in stone. It is best to walk away from the person who is extremely biased toward a particular interpretation of the truth because it is a waste of time arguing with him.
The-Know-It-All. This person knows everything about everything. If someone is arguing with a know-it-all, the know-it-all is certain that the person is lacking knowledge; otherwise, the person would not be arguing with her. The know-it-all has full confidence that the other person is missing the facts, the evidence or the logic. Of course, she is ready to provide these missing elements to the ignorant soul. It is better to just nod and walk away.
The arrogant. The arrogant individual has an inflated sense of self-importance or sense of abilities. The arrogant person can be found at any social level but more often than not he is an educated or wealthy member of society. The arrogant person thinks that his opinion counts for more whether it is right or wrong. In fact, in his mind, it can only be right because of his special standing in society. For example, if he is a member of a third-world country, he may state that he is right when arguing with a woman because he is a man. Since the arrogant individual has an inflated ego, it is better not to respond. It is an unfair argumentation to begin with that can end up in emotional abuse.
The perfectionist. A perfectionist is always looking for perfection, even in the middle of an argument. There are two problems with the perfectionist. First, she cannot lose an argument because it makes her imperfect. This idea motivates her to win at any cost. Second, she sees everything in black and white. Something is either perfect or imperfect. If it is not perfect, it is automatically unacceptable because it is imperfect. Naturally, there are not perfect arguments. So, the perfectionist is not happy with any argument. In fact, the perfectionist that wants to win the argument is focusing on finding faults with the opponent’s points. Once she finds one, she is pleased that the argument is imperfect, which means that she can completely dismiss it for its lack of perfection. The perfectionist does not know any gray area. She is unwilling to recognize the value behind the idea of better or worse arguments. She understands perfection only. Hence, the perfectionist can never be satisfied.
The emotionalist. The emotionalist is a person who has a heavy emotional investment in his argument. Naturally, all human beings are emotional and can get emotional in an argument. However, the emotionalist has a deeply personal reason for defending the argument that can make him overly passionate. He can get to a point where he takes it personally, if someone disagrees with him. For example, a father who loses a child to violent crime might lobby for harsher sentence for criminals citing good reasons for it. However, if someone challenges his argument, he can become upset, annoyed and very unpleasant with the person. It is best to discontinue the argument with someone who argues from an overly emotionally invested viewpoint when he starts taking the opposing argument personally and displays hostility.
As I stated, this list does not exhaust the possibilities out there. I hope it helps, though. It is best to be aware of the person one is about to argue with. It is better to proceed with caution because one may lose a sensitive acquaintance who is not ready to hear an argument from a different point of view.


January 15, 2016
Why Don’t We Like Our Jobs?
According to a Washington Post article, only 30% of us like going to work. 70% of us are disengaged in our jobs. The question is: why? Why do we not like our work?
Googling the question, “Why do people hate their jobs?” may provide some answers. The Forbes magazine, for example, cites several reasons. We choose our careers at an age when we are unaware of our options. Some of us feel pressured to have a career where we can make a lot of money. Some of us try to climb the corporate ladder but get stuck at a point. In addition to the official answers, some also cite the economy. Jobs do not pay well anymore and there is not any job security. Thus, there are many reasons we may not like our jobs.
Having read several articles on the subject in the past few weeks made me think. I asked myself if there was a greater reason we did not like our work. I did not have to wait too long to get an answer. The answer has arrived through a personal experience. I work in the security profession at a sophisticated workplace where everything is properly recorded. Every door swipe, camera angle, incident, visitor and contractor arrival is entered into a record. Nobody can even sneeze without our knowledge. We take care to accurately and neatly keep these records. Yet, I have recently witnessed what happens to them at the end of the year. All records, which are in printed out forms, are boxed up and shipped to a safe location to be stored for seven years. Then, the records go to a shredder machine. Having seen the records boxed up, I felt utterly disappointed. We do all this work just to send the papers to the shredder seven years from now? Suddenly, my work seemed useless, pitiful and meaningless. This made me realize that this is the reason most of us do not like our jobs: We do not find our jobs meaningful. That is probably the number one reason for not liking our work.
Can’t we just quit and find meaningful jobs? Well, most meaningful occupations do not pay good money. Many of us would love to be artists, environmentalists or inventors, just to name a few inspirational occupations, but can’t afford to do so. These occupations are not valued in today’s society. The economy favours jobs that come with either endless paper works and boring meetings or harsh physical labour and repetitive tasks. Basically, the jobs we have, that are available to us to pay our bills, are soul-murdering. If we wanted more meaningful occupations, we would have to do a major re-organization of the economy. I am not sure how many of us are up for this difficult challenge. So, for now, most of us will just unhappily work to pay the bills!


January 7, 2016
Are You Close to Giving Up on Your New Year’s Resolution?
Why is it so hard? You made a firm decision and psyched yourself up to get it done this time. You promised yourself that you would make it to the gym five times a week, working very hard to shed those pounds. Or, you promised yourself to learn French to get a better job. Or, you promised yourself to read that very thick manual to be an expert on a particular task that could give you that promotion you have always wanted. You promised yourself! So, what’s wrong with you? Why are you struggling and in danger of giving up? After all, you really want the result!
This is going to surprise you, but you are in danger of failing because you are trying too hard. I can hear the objection: “What do you mean? Don’t you have to try hard and work hard? Doesn’t it take strong will power to succeed?” No, not exactly. You don’t have to try hard. In fact, trying hard is self-defeating. Let me explain.
New Year’s resolution is meant to be a commitment for the entire year. You have an entire year to accomplish your task. Hence, going ahead full speak is unnecessary. In fact, full speed will certainly make you fail. For example, vowing to show up at the gym five times a week is too much of a change, if you have been a couch potato before. It is too big a change to keep you motivated. Big changes are mentally challenging. You will feel like you have entered a scary prison of endless repetitions that you are not used to. It will scare you!
So, you need to slow down. Do you want to lose those pounds? You have twelve months to do it. Try committing yourself to go to the gym twice a week, at first. When you get used to it, you can increase it to three times, four times and five times gradually. Also, make smaller commitments as to the amount of time you spend there. Commit to twenty minutes at first. Increase it slowly as you become stronger and more confident in your routine. Don’t overdo it!
Secondly, you need to believe in yourself. People try to hurry up the process and get it done because they want the result fast. The desire for fast result is caused by lack of faith. You are afraid of failing, so you want to avoid it by getting to the finish lane fast. Mentally, though, this is exactly what will materialize your fear. Hurrying up will exhaust you quickly and you will give up. Hence, believe in yourself! Believe that you are capable of getting to where you want to be! Have faith! If you have faith in yourself, it is easier to slow down and take it one step at the time. You know you will get to the finish lane, so you can do it the slower, steadier and, mentally speaking, in a more relaxing way.
I hope this short contemplation on the matter will help you. Make small and steady steps toward achieving your goal! At the end of the year, you will be skinnier, or have a better job or, get that promotion, just in time for the holidays. Good luck!


December 29, 2015
Happiness Project for the Month of December: Letters to the Self
As I said last December, I decided to do a happiness project, which entails that I do something unusual, strange or, outright silly every month that I would normally not do. For the month of December, I chose to write letters to myself.
What does it mean to write letters to the self? The idea came from my desire to see messages that I would like to receive. How many times do we get rejection letters? Or, “I am sorry” letters either in professional or personal capacity? We get denied scholarships, promotions, credit cards and even visits from our loved ones for the holidays. We hear the words “no” so many times! Lately, I have received letters from short story competitions where I did not make it into the top ten. As a writer, I am used to the idea of rejection. But, it still does not make it easy! So, I decided to write letters to myself that I would want to receive. Call it a “pretend game” or a “feel good” game! Whatever we call it, I wrote dozens of them this month.
The rules are simple. Sit down and write a letter that you would like to see someone send you. Address it to yourself on top and pretend that the person is writing it to you something really nice. I wrote congratulatory letters about winning on short story competitions, being offered a new job, being admitted to another PhD program, winning on the lottery and having won a new car. I also wrote letters from relatives both living and dead who would be happy to see me. I wrote letters from people I have previously written to but did not receive an answer from.
Am I crazy? Maybe, I am. But, it did help. It kept up my spirit. I felt like a million dollar after each letter. In my spare time, I reread the letters to make me feel upbeat!
Moreover, some of the letters I wrote, I actually arrived later on. For example, I wrote a pretend letter from another author, to whom I wrote at summer time but, she did not respond. Once I wrote down the pretend response, I actually received a letter from her. The letter was even similar in tone and wording that I wrote to myself!
I recommend this game to everyone. If you try hard in life, chances are that you will get a lot of rejection letters. You can rationally explain to yourself that it is the result of trying, but it will still leave you with a sense of disappointment. Letters addressed to yourself can take that feeling of disappointment away and provide you with extra energy. Or, if you believe in magic, it might attract you the desired letters and they may actually arrive to you in the mail. So, go ahead and give this exercise a try! You can only gain by trying it!


December 25, 2015
Reflection on Accomplishments in 2015
Having spent the day with my family, I asked them about the year that has just passed. “How was 2015?” I asked my mother. She smiled politely for a few seconds. Then, her smile faded and she started up…her complaints about the year. She listed everything that went wrong. Eventually, after a long while, she fell silent. It was just about time because I was ready to interrupt her seemingly endless list of complaints. “So, what went right?” I asked somewhat hesitantly. “I don’t know,” my mother answered, apparently uninterested in thinking about anything positive that may have happened.
This experience made me think about accomplishments. I curled up by her fireplace and started to make a list of my own accomplishments. Here is the list. I published my book, “Real Life Choices” (2015). I entered four short story competitions. In one of these competitions, I made it into the top group. This means that my story, “Just Business” was published by Polar Expressions, in a collection of short stories called Wherever We Roam (2015). I created a Goodreads account and a Twitter account. I increased the number of friends, contacts and followers on Facebook, Linkedin and WordPress. I started writing my next novel. I also wrote 23 poems and 75 blogs. I handed out hundreds of business cards to people who were curious about my books. I began the process of returning to graduate school to finish my PhD. I have read over a dozen books. I am close to completing a happiness project for the year. Have I mentioned yet that I also work a 42 hour/ week full time job?
I ended my contemplation on my accomplishments with a great feeling. It was, and still is, so wonderful to recognize the things that I did and went well! It is so much better than creating a list of complaints. My accomplishments made me realize that I don’t mind doing as much as I do because I love them. I love the English language, even though it is not my first language, and I love writing and reading. I am happy being a writer and a reader. My list of accomplishments also makes me appreciate the fact that I spent the year well doing what I love!
So, what are your accomplishments? Have you made a list, yet? Are you happy with your list? If you are not, what are you going to do differently to make sure that you will be happy with next year’s list?


December 15, 2015
The Holiday
I left the title open to interpretation. Why? I find it fascinating how differently people relate to the idea of the holiday. Some feel anxious, pressured and jittery; some see dollar signs, long line-ups and wrapping papers; and, some see demanding teenagers, annoying family members and too much food. Some see all of them at once. How did we get to this point in history? How did we get to the holiday being so overwhelming? Do the words “joy”, “happiness” or “relaxation” ever come to mind to anyone anymore?
My ninety year old neighbour had an interesting comment the other day. She said that, over the past three decades, the holiday became a chore that people need to get done, rather than a celebration. She was happy that her younger years were spent at a time when it was still about the joy of the season. She said that everything appeared to be overblown and out of proportions nowadays. Christmas music is being played for six to seven weeks, the decorations in the stores are out on the shelves right after Halloween and the advertisers are bombarding people with messages for two months. I had to agree with my neighbour that somehow society created a pressure-cooker for people get in and be overwhelmed.
What can people do in this situation? Well, they can do the obvious. They can shop early with a list in hand, avoid the stores with the annoying music and turn of the television and radio to get away from the advertisements. However, I find that, although these solutions are psychologically helpful, they are avoidance strategies only. They are not conducive to bringing back the joy of the holiday season. So, what can people do to enjoy it? I believe, it starts with small symbolic gestures. I decided to read a book on angels, for example. Angels are part of all spiritual paths and religions. Whether one focuses on them with a spiritual, psychological, anthropological or historical mindset, it is delightful to learn about angels. I chose a book called The Angel Therapy by Doreen Virtue. I curl up on the couch everyday for a half hour before bed to read about angels. This is my way of contributing to the holiday season. This is my “me-time”. I believe that everyone can do something to bring back the holiday spirit. It does not have to be a gigantic effort; it can be something small but significant. How about learning to bake a pie? Building a bird’s house? Creating holiday decorations from colourful crafts papers? Making a cup of hot cocoa and enjoying it in front of the fireplace with the kids? I believe it is possible to bring back the magic. Whether one is celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas, Winter Solstice or any other holiday, it is possible to make it joyful, happy and relaxing. So, what is your way of making this happen?


December 5, 2015
Education Is Not Enough To Eradicate Ignorant Ways of Existing
According to statistics, nearly 90% of the people in Canada have at least a secondary school diploma. 25% of them also have a university degree. It seems that education is the key to success; at least, this is the ideology that leaders advocate in the developed countries and, people in the developed countries are becoming successful.
At the same time, hate crime in Great Britain is on the rise, mass shooting in the U. S. are becoming an everyday phenomenon, terrorists are murdering people they do not like, one in four women are raped or assaulted at least once in her life and one in five children are abused. Do these two set of statistics tell a story about the link between education and ignorance?
It appears that despite the effort to educate people at a very high and sophisticated level, people are not getting enlightened. At least, they are not getting enlightened at the rate of their educational level. Educated people still become terrorists, mass shooters, murderers, rapists and abusers. It very much looks like that education by itself will not eradicate the human ignorant ways of existing and embrace better and more enlightened ways of living.
Is there anything missing besides the need for higher and more sophisticated education? Firstly, there may be a problem with the current education system itself. Human beings seem to be more career-oriented than ever before. This means that they go to school to get a great job. Unfortunately, these career-oriented educational practices do not include a path on becoming enlightened human beings. Enlightenment often arises from self-reflection, reflection of the great questions of life, learning from the past and from human behavior and, thinking critically and with fresh perspectives on ideas. Generally, education in philosophy, psychology, history, literature, mythology, spirituality, anthropology and related fields are fertile grounds for human wisdom. But, education, as it stands today, is not oriented toward the attainment of enlightenment and the cherishment of human wisdom. Simply, the career-oriented education system does not have the right quality to eradicate human ignorance anymore.
Secondly, education itself is not enough to get rid of the ignorant ways of existing. Something more is needed. What is this something more? It is a deep sense of morality. This does not mean a religiously prescribed and memorized list of right and wrong doings. Anyone can memorize a laundry list and rehash it at the request of authority. It is more than just this simplified version of morality that is missing. The morality that is missing is a deep sense of appreciation for the beauty and value of life, human freedom to choose and, the mystery of the presence of this universe and Mother Earth in it. Many human beings are unable to be humble enough to appreciate the magnificence of it all and properly respect it. The magnificence can be seen in the eyes of a small child, the loving smile of an adult, the playfulness of an animal, the flames of a wood-burning fireplace or the shining moon and stars. The appreciation of the importance of this magnificent presence is the moral component that seems to be missing. It is neglected in favour of attaining a career, gaining approval from others, hoarding wealth and getting into the position of power and control over other human beings. Thus, this deep sense of morality is not present in human beings.
Is there any way to encourage people to develop this deep sense of morality? Firstly, educational institutions can be inspirited to return to their roots of providing enlightenment and wisdom, as opposed to offering just a career. Secondly, human beings could aspire to achieve more, not in a material sense, but in a sense of becoming more reflective, sensitive and contemplative beings. They can learn about who they are and what is important. In the absence of this, fear dictates people’s behavior. For example, a mother may try to force her daughter to dress in a particular way, to attend particular religious or social gatherings and control the type of young men she is allowed to see. She does this out of love. However, this love is often times based on fear of the world; the projected fear of what could happen to the young woman with scary people out there. It is natural to try to protect someone. However, this protection can end up stifling the development and curiosity of young people. The chains a parent creates can cause fear, depression and a sense of imprisonment. The solution is for the parent to reflect on the fear and put it into proper perspective in order to relate to others better, including her child. A more reflective, sensitive and contemplative being is able to see the world and people in it in a clearer way. This can lead to greater openness, trust and happiness.
People can become more and they should strive to be more. They need to turn inward and work on themselves to eliminate the unnecessary fears. They need to care about who and what they are. Better education helps, but it is not enough. People need to make an effort to work on themselves to become more enlightened, wiser individuals. They need to do all this to have any hope of shedding their ignorant ways. The best news is: it does not cost any money. All it takes is a few minutes of honest engagement with the self to start the process.


November 29, 2015
Happiness Project for the Month of November: The Escape Room
As I said last December, I decided to do a happiness project, which entails that I do something unusual, strange or, outright silly every month that I would normally not do. For the month of November, I decided to go to The Escape Room with my coworkers.
The Escape Room adventure is a physical game where people are locked into a room and they have to use the room and the clues hidden inside to solve a series of puzzles to find a way to escape the room. The game was inspired by works of Agatha Christie and has become popular in Europe, North America, Australia and Asia. There are five locations in London, Ontario. Our group visited the Mystery Escape Rooms on Waterloo Street.
Our game was called the Museum Heist. The background story is that a group has tried to break into the museum before with the help of an inside man. The group was unsuccessful and the janitor who helped the group was no longer alive. However, he kept handwritten notes in point forms and some scribbled-down ideas to follow. The guards pass by in the area every 45 minutes. The goal is to turn off all alarms and sensors to steal the artifact from the safe and get away with it within that timeframe.
Our group of nine people was led into the room. The guide explained to us the story and the rules; after which, she promptly left us in the dark with all the tools and flashlights in the middle of the room. We all grabbed a flashlight in the dark and tried to read the janitor’s notes and scribbles. I think that only issue we had is that everyone wanted to work fast and we started out extremely disorganized. My youngest coworker, Kate, and I deciphered a note right away that helped us to turn off the sensors by the door. Unfortunately, it turned out that we solved step five, instead of step one. So, we went to see who had the most important notes to follow the steps. We soon figured out that Aileen had the crucial information and, therefore, we needed to be with her to go through the clues.
After this initial hick-up of being slightly disorganized, we managed to get on track. Eventually, we needed help twice from the guide, which was allowed. The game went smoothly. We worked together to turn off all alarms and sensors and open two safes. Unfortunately, we ran out of time at the end because we could not understand the last clue. The last clue was about finding a code to get out of the room. So, technically we were found by the guard red-handed because we were still in the room when time was up. Still, we were congratulated on finishing 90% of the game. According to the guide, most groups never get this far. This means that for a bunch of security guards from G4S Secure Solutions Canada, we did well robbing a museum.
I found this game very exciting. I think the interesting part is that this is not a simulated video game in front of the television. It is a real-life physical game that people can participate in together. It encourages the participants to work in a team and to have fun at the same time. It is adrenaline pumping, requires thinking and problem-solving, but non-violent in nature. The game is ideal for those who enjoy combining thinking and physically doing things at the same time.
I had great fun! This was the best happiness project I have done so far. The game reflected my personality as a thinker and participant in exciting projects. I recommend this game to all groups, especially young people who are spending too much time with electronic devices. Get out there, discover a real-life adventure and have fun!


November 23, 2015
What Is Wrong With Creating Market Trends for Careers?
In North America, too many people seem to be overeducated and underemployed. According to a CBC News article, one in three people under 30 are underemployed in Canada, for example. The common complaint seems to be either that too many people have university education or that too many people have the wrong education. For example, critics in David Harriman’s article published in schoolmoney.org argue that programs in science, technology, mathematics and engineering should be encouraged amongst the youth because education in liberal arts do not pay very much and also lead to underemployment. Basically, the message is to push the youth in the direction of the current market trend that offers them better jobs. Is the solution this simple, though? Can people be just driven in the direction the market is going? Furthermore, should the market dictate what careers people choose?
It seems that economists and business leaders leave out a huge factor in their drive of the market: human personality. In the past few decades the trends seem to drive people in the direction of highly technological and highly competitive, busy environments to work in. The question is: Do people want to exist in such environments? Think of endless rows of cubicles where people are glued to their phones and computer screens, working against strict deadlines for the company to remain competitive in a fast-paced world. Or, think of scientists in a lab developing a new drug, working 14 hours a day to make sure that another company does not beat them to the solution for the development of an ideal drug for a disease. How about a group of engineers on the phone, dealing with delays, miscalculated drawing plans and a construction company manager breathing down on their neck to pressure the engineers to get going because “time is money”? How many young people would like to be educated to be part of this pressure cooker of a fast-paced world?
The problem is that young people do not necessarily find the careers the market trends dictate desirable. Their personalities may clash with this ideology and the lifestyle it offers. For example, Dan Buettner, in Psychology Today, reports that up to 50% of the population may be introverts in any era. According to him, introverts do not enjoy active, fast-paced environments. Instead, they prefer to work alone or in smaller groups. Introverts thrive in fields, such as writing, art and science. Given this description, it is no small wonder that people are still getting educated in liberal arts studies and similar fields and refuse to follow the market trend. The market trend simply does not agree with who they are as people.
Should the market dictate career choices then? Given the fact that economic and market trends often do not agree with people’s personalities and general lifestyle requirements, market trends may actually do more harm than good when trying to dictate trends. Mel Schwartz argues in Psychology Today that more than twenty percent of Americans go through clinical depression at some point during their lives. He points to the fast-paced, neurotic, aimless living, as a major contributor. It can be argued that economic and business market trends that move with lightening speed, constantly shifting and pressuring people into jobs that do not agree with their basic personalities cannot be healthy. Therefore, these market trends should not dictate people’s careers. Modern societies should put people’s health and general well-being before economic and business interests.
Unfortunately, as it stands today, people have a choice to make. They can either follow their dreams, based on their talents and personalities and paid little or, sacrifice their health and well-being to pressure themselves to follow economic and market trends to make a comfortable, decent living. It seems that following their dreams and sidestepping the lure of wealth created in undesirable environments is the reason that people still pursue the so-called “useless degrees” and are underemployed in most modern societies. Still, this inconvenient effect will be beneficial in the long run because it will force economists and business leaders to rethink their strategies. If the well-educated would rather become starving artists than join the high pressure-cooker world, the economists and business leaders will eventually be forced to adopt to people’s needs.


November 15, 2015
Having a Writing Career with Loved Ones Not Supporting You
Recently, I met my mother’s friend whom I have not seen for several years. She was visiting my mother. After the niceties, her first questions were, “With you education, how come you do not have a better job? Writing is great, but don’t you want to own a house and have more money?” My mother seemed to silently nod her head to these questions, agreeing with her friend. Surely, I would love to have more money. I also agree that having a Security Guard and Private Investigator License and a job in this field with a Master’s Degree behind me does not make me look very successful. However, the job I have allows me to have time to write and it pays the bills. I would not want to switch jobs, if it means having to end up less time writing. When I explained this logic to my mother and her friend, they both frowned.
I heard similar stories from other writers. Becoming a successful writer takes time. This fact is often not appreciated by loved ones and friends. All they see is that you are well educated with a less than ideal paycheck or/and a less than ideal job. They do not appreciate the love you have for writing. For example, in the past two years, I have written two books, participated in seven short story competitions and produced nearly seventy blogs. I love writing, even though English is not my first language. I can’t help it! I must have been an English born person in my past life! Still, my family and friends do not seem to understand this passion. All they see is the lack of dollar signs.
What can you do in this situation? Well, do not try to argue with the sceptics. It is never healthy because they might just put you down. If they are unsupportive, explain your passion and switch topics, if you see that they are unconvinced. Psychologically, you can also help yourself by reminding yourself that when you do become successful, you can always rub it in. It is interesting that people try to keep discouraging artists until the moment they become successful. Then, they couldn’t be prouder! Think of that moment! Afterward, go back to what you love doing! After all, you don’t have to make them happy. But, you do have to make yourself happy!
Happy writing!

