D.K. Sanz/Kyrian Lyndon's Blog, page 3

BOOK REVIEW: Five Signs: A Burning Light to Guide Free-Spirited Women, Witches and Empaths Through the Darkness

Step into the captivating world of Alison Nappi, a writer whose words have touched the hearts of millions, around the globe. With her powerful voice resonating with women, witches, neurodivergent artists and empaths Alison has become a beacon of inspiration in the realm of literature.

As both a blogger and the author of the enchanting ‘Wildness Deck Oracle’ and ‘Five Signs; A Burning Light to Guide Free-Spirited Women, Witches and Empaths Through the Darkness,’ Alison crafts stories that delve into realms while guiding readers towards self-discovery. Her unique perspective as a neurodivergent woman adds depth and authenticity to her writing inviting readers into a realm where understanding and connection thrive.

In addition to her own writing endeavors, Alison actively supports fellow neurodivergent and spiritual writers as a dedicated creative consultant. With her expertise and guidance, she empowers other writers to find their voices and unlock their potential within an inclusive community.

Five Signs: A Burning Light to Guide Free-Spirited Women, Witches and Empaths Through the Darkness

BOOK DESCRIPTION

All women possess rich, deep truths they secretly experience…Now it’s time to let the secret out.

Five Signs is a collection of five life-changing works of wisdom. Each article addresses critical issues that impact those women in society that may be considered the “black sheep.” Those of us who don’t fit into the stereotypical norms society wants us to… and some of us who may have magic deep within our souls.

The Hero’s Journey: An empowering essay that inspires, motivates and provides a life focus.

Declarations of Independence: An indictment against the insanity of society and a celebration of those who struggle with ostracism, mental illness or exile.

Your Soulmate is a Villain: A powerful guide on identifying and navigating narcissistic abuse.

Let Your Record Stand: How to follow your art, create and head towards happiness.

Lies You Were Told About Grief: A compassionate acknowledgement of the anguish of grief and how we have been misled about what the process of grieving may look like.

Five Signs will inspire you to discover your true self, take you down a road of understanding life and will motivate you to express yourself wrapped in your creativity.

Grab Five Signs now and allow your soul to see the truth clearly for the first time.

MY REVIEW *****

I discovered the writings of Alison Nappi while subscribing to an online magazine called Rebelle Society. Rebelle Society always shared the work of their contributors on Facebook. Alison Nappi’s blogs, in particular, moved me beyond words. She writes gorgeous and brilliant prose. You can experience that in Five Signs, an eye-opening, inspiring, encouraging, and beautifully written book. Throughout the sixty-page read, I kept saying aloud, “Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, my God.” I recognize the ‘villains’ she talks about and so much more. This relatable work was so validating; it had me in tears. It validated me and at least one other person I know, as I’m sure it will so many others. Honestly, I think the author is an incredible spirit and a genius. And in short, Five Signs is a work of art, just lovely. I truly loved it.

KINDLE VERSION AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON.COM MORE ABOUT ALISON NAPPI

Driven by her passion for nurturing talent, Alison offers writing classes tailored for neurodivergent individuals. These classes unlock their potential as storytellers while providing guidance to guide creatives to their truest voices, highest governing truths and most soulful messages. For those seeking individual attention, she also provides coaching sessions that guide aspiring authors through the intricate process of writing and publishing.

Exciting things lie ahead for Alison as she prepares to release a series of captivating books that will undoubtedly leave readers spellbound.

To keep yourself informed and be, among the first to embark on these captivating adventures ensure that you subscribe to Alison Nappi’s Amazon profile, Substack and social media channels. Get ready to be captivated and inspired by the way Alison Nappi’s words transform and inspire through her distinctive method of assisting individuals with neurodivergence in crafting their own works of art.

An Open Letter to Your Inner Child
by Alison Napi

To the child who couldn’t understand
why nobody could understand.
To the one whose hand was never taken,
whose eyes were never gazed into by
an adult who said,
“I love you.
You are a miracle.
You are holy,
right now and
forever.”
To the one who grew up in the realm of “can’t.”
To you who lived “never enough.”
To the one who came home to no one there, and
there but not home.
To the one who could never understand why
she was being hit
by hands, words, ignorance.
To the one whose innocence was unceremoniously stolen.
To the one who fought back.
To the one who shattered.
To the never not broken one.
To the child who survived.
To the one who was told she was
sinful, bad, ugly.
To the one who didn’t fit.
To she who bucked authority
and challenged the status quo.
To the one who called out
the big people for
lying, hiding and cruelty.
To the one who never stopped loving anyway.
To the child that was forbidden to need.
To the ones whose dreams were crushed
by adults whose dreams were crushed.
To the one whose only friend
was the bursting, budding forest.
To the ones who prayed to the moon,
who sang to the stars
in the secrecy of the night
to keep the darkness at bay.
To the child who saw God
in the bursting sunshine of
dandelion heads
and the whispering
clover leaf.
To the child of light who cannot die,
even when she’s choking
in seven seas of darkness.
To the one love
I am and you are.
You are holy.
I love you.
You are a miracle.
Your life,
your feelings,
your hopes and dreams–
they matter.
Somebody failed you but you will not fail.
Somebody looked in your eyes and saw the sun — blazing — and got scared.
Somebody broke your heart but your love remains perfect.
Somebody lost their dreams and thought you should too,
but you mustn’t.
Somebody told you
that you weren’t
enough
or too much,
but you are
without question
the most perfect
and holy creation of
God’s
own
hands.

TRUE TO THE BOOK CHARACTERS?

Some members of certain fanbases become enraged over the casting of their favorite book characters in adaptations or retellings of the original. Often enough, it doesn’t have to be a favorite character or one they care about. It’s the principal of the thing, they’d say. They don’t welcome change. Disney stories, including Star Wars, seem to be at the top of that list. Seeing fans direct their anger and vitriol at the actors portraying these characters is sad and, frankly, inexcusable.

This topic came to mind because I’m working on a fantasy/horror series—something I’ve always wanted to do. (For whatever reason, I had to get all the other stuff out of the way—the stuff that was haunting me.) I created a slew of characters for the series.

Interestingly, authors now lean toward briefer character descriptions in many genres. Every so often, I’m reading a thriller where the author never describes the characters physically. Me? I like depicting my vision of people and things. However, if I were to have my work chosen for a film adaptation, I’d simply want the first film version’s casting to have the same effect I aimed for with my book characters. For example, I’d prefer the character to be as likable or unlikable as I’d intended, with the right amount of sex appeal and charisma regardless of their hair, eye, skin color, etc. Of course, I’d prefer creative oversight, but that goal would apply either way.

In further retellings, I’d want whoever puts one together to go with a version that feels right for them. I’d say, let your imaginations run wild! The original is always there for anyone who prefers it.

I celebrate diversity. What’s wrong with learning from and about each other? And who can deny that all people, especially children, need positive and accurate portrayals of themselves in books, film, and every other medium? That’s even more critical for underrepresented groups in our society. Inclusion, in a good way, is crucial to one’s self-esteem. 

So, I’m okay with having a brown or black person playing the part of a character described in the book as “having the fairest skin of the land with skin as white as snow.” That was just a physical description. It has nothing to do with the plot. I don’t care if some fable was a Danish tale, and the assumption by a person who isn’t even Danish is that the character should be blah blah blah. We’re talking about fictitious characters here, so I’d need far better reasons to complain. Like an ethnicity, race, gender, or sexual orientation changed or unchanged to provide representation for the underrepresented. And like when it’s essential to the story that a person be this or that.

It’s important to note that sometimes, with casting, you get to see a more appealing, more powerful character than the one from the book. Apparently, when Stephen King saw the film Stand by Me based on his novel, The Body, he was completely blown away. He was speechless, I read, and when he found the words, he said it was the best adaptation of any of his works. I don’t know if his impression included the film’s cast, but I think so because those kids were amazing!

I read, too, that, at first, Anne Rice wasn’t pleased with the casting of Tom Cruise as her beloved Lestat in the film adaptation of Interview with the Vampire. Lestat was her baby and based physically on her husband, who passed away. I can understand that. As a fan, I can say that Tom Cruise was not how I pictured Lestat, but I felt he got the effect she was going for with that character, and he did a good job. Evidently, Anne came to the same conclusion.

I was never going to be disappointed that the teenage Armand from The Vampire Chronicles got ditched for Antonio Banderas. I’m not sure what Anne Rice thought about that, but I can understand how it was quite a leap for some. In at least one version of Armand’s story, he was distressed that Marius had turned him into a vampire when he was so young. In the Interview with the Vampire, he appeared livid about Claudia being a vampire child for the same reason. So yeah, the casting of Armand in that movie could be a legitimate beef. It was a substantive change. At the same time, Armand was a relatively minor character, and it’s not as if he needed a reason to find turning a child into a vampire unacceptable and appalling. Or maybe that was an excuse because he wanted to get her away from Louis and have Louis all to himself.

But then, again, Antonio.

He gave us an excellent and entertaining performance.

The bottom line is that we should have fun with all this stuff and enjoy things as much as possible, and some people could be more lighthearted and open-minded. There’s no reason for anyone to get their knickers in a twist, and certainly no reason to be mean.

That’s just what I think, so what do you think when it comes to the casting of your favorite characters? Were there disappointments? Pleasant surprises? As an author who creates characters, I’d love to know.

Black hair Ariel image by John Huxtable from Pixabay

Top image of male fiction character by u_sqyc105ho4 from Pixabay

Antonio Banderas gif from https://media.giphy.com/media/ZOuFj6MYyPL9e/giphy.gif

BOOK REVIEW: DOWN THE TREACLE WELL

Book Description

While visiting a museum in England, Ben and Kyle experience the extraordinary. Gazing at the Alfred Jewel, an ancient Anglo-Saxon artifact, they watch as it spins, contorts, and evaporates from its case, taking them with it. Whisked back to Victorian England, the brothers are shocked to find themselves sprawled on the floor before Mr. Charles Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice in Wonderland. They soon learn that the famous author’s muse, Alice, is missing. Alice has used the Alfred Jewel to enter Wonderland and, by so doing, has upset the time continuum. The only way for the boys to return home is to locate Alice and return her safely. But Wonderland is a strange and dangerous place…

My review 5 stars *****

Ben and Kyle are two kids from Florida visiting England with their mother and anticipating their father’s arrival from his business dealings in Johannesburg. While their mother is attending a conference, the boys are whisked away from present-day Oxford to Oxford in 1864 and ultimately to “Wonderland,” where the literary hero Alice’s adventures once took place. Like Alice, the boys encounter the White Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat, among others. They confront the bizarre Mad Hatter and the cruel Queen of Hearts. They even discover the famous Looking Glass!

People are going to love this reimagining of the classic tale. In her unique way, author Ellis Nelson recaptures the magic. Her remarkable talent and vivid imagination bring it to life again with a new pair of adventurers and a new series of obstacles.

Down the Treacle Well is well-written, flows nicely, and is easy to read. It is also brilliantly clever—fun, funny, warmhearted, and wonderfully descriptive. As a fan of Victorian-era literature, I loved the nostalgic vibe. I think it would make a great film, too—animated or live! Wonderful job by the author.

Available now for pre-order on Amazon.comAbout the AuthorEllis Nelson

Writer of Young Adult and Children’s Fiction:

Ellis Nelson has served as an Air Force officer, government contractor, and teacher. She writes for children and young adults largely under the newly emerging category of visionary fiction. Having returned from living abroad in Europe, she now calls Colorado home. Visit her website to learn more about her and what she’s working on (www.ellisnelson.com).

GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE AT A DISCOUNT !

At the end of October, I will end my exclusivity contract with Kindle Direct Publishing to make my memoir, Grateful to be Alive, available at Barnes and Noble and other retail outlets. It will still be available on Amazon.

To mark this development, the Kindle version of my memoir will be available on Amazon at a 67% discount from September 2 to September 9, 2023. During that time, readers can purchase it for $1.99 rather than the usual $5.99.

On September 2, this price change will be effective by 8 a.m. EDT, 7 a.m. Central, 6 a.m. MT, and 5 a.m. PDT, and this is the link you will need:

GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE ON AMAZON

Happy reading to you, no matter what it is you’re reading.

MANGLED WINGS – A POEM

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”

― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

HOW DO YOU TRIUMPH OVER FEAR?

How do you deal with fear regarding life’s choices and making dreams come true?

I’ve written about the ways I’ve dealt with it. Still, when someone inspires me in another way or validates the direction I’ve been going in, I feel compelled to share it with others.

Derek Hough is the latest to share something that resonated with me.

Derek is a professional Latin and ballroom dancer who trained celebrities on Dancing with the Stars for 17 seasons. Although Derek is only 38 years old, he’s won 13 Emmy nominations for his choreography—the most anyone has ever won in that category. He’s been a judge on Dancing with the Stars for three seasons now, and he’s heading into his fourth.

Yes, I love Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I’m a fan of Derek’s. I think he’s phenomenal.

When asked how he overcame his fear of putting himself out there, Derek said, “I believe that gratitude is the antidote to fear. You can’t be grateful and fearful at the same time. The second you’re grateful, it’s like the fear just dissipates.” He adds that being present “in a moment of gratitude” is a proven tactic he’s practiced throughout his life—an offering he provides to anyone apprehensive about chasing a dream.

It may sound simple to some, but most people need reminders to keep at it. As a writer, I can say whether it’s the threat of AI, the many ways the industry thwarts and sabotages our efforts, the blood, sweat, and tears, or the reality that there will always be people who don’t like you or what you have to offer, keep going.

It applies to whatever your goal is. We can’t focus on people who don’t see the value in our contributions, have never tried to see that, or won’t support anything we do or ever have a kind thing to say.

Instead, be thrilled and grateful for every encouraging word, any support, or kindness. Realize that every follower, every connection, every pleasant interaction, and expression of appreciation is progress. And go with the momentum.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
— Marcus Aurelius

We’re already blessed to have a passion, a dream, and the ability to pursue both. I can’t imagine what it’s like not to have that. Whatever we love to do that much, it’s our passion for a reason. It makes us happy for a reason.

And, speaking of dancing, I wish I knew how to tap dance. I love watching tap dancers. This video is of Derek Hough tap dancing on, you guessed it, Dancing with the Stars.

I also love the jive. In the next video, a much younger Derek dances with his sister, Julianne.

You can skip the videos, of course, but I love all of these. They make me smile because they remind me of freedom, joy, and celebration. I’m so incredibly moved by them, I get tears. Part of that has to do with watching dreams come true.

So, yeah, persevere through all the ups and downs. It’s kind of like singing in the rain. ヾ(´〇｀)ﾉ✩♬ ₊.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
— Rosa Parks

Believe in what you do image by Alexa from Pixabay

It’s all in your hands image by Alexa from Pixabay

Do what you love image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Dance like no one’s watching image by Oberholster Venita from Pixabay

TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR MENTAL HEALTH

Next Step Solutions, a team of behavioral health experts, recently conducted a study on the state of mental health in America. The key takeaways were that roughly 50 million Americans were experiencing at least one mental illness and that “55% of adults with mental illness have not received any treatment.”

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, “1 in 5 people are affected by mental health issues every year. The other 4 are family and friends.”

UNFORTUNATE REALITIES

Here are some burdensome truths:

Many people dealing with these issues don’t have access to treatment.  Many have been denied acceptance, belief, trust, and support because their diagnosis doesn’t fit the preferred narrative.A lot of mental illnesses and disorders stem from trauma. 

Going further on the “preferred narrative” issue, most people who have never suffered from addiction maintain that it’s simply about bad life choices. As a result, some look down their noses at those who struggle with it. While most of us understand that substance abuse is never a good choice, Psyche Central acknowledges that “mental illness and substance use disorder (SUD) often occur together. It’s unclear which issue happens first, but each can contribute to the other.” They further state that genetics may account for 40% to 60% of a person’s vulnerability to addiction.

Further, as noted by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), “Drug addiction is classified as a mental illness because addiction changes the brain in fundamental ways, disturbing a person’s normal hierarchy of needs and desires, and substituting new priorities connected with procuring and using drugs.”

DON’T ASSUME YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON

Whatever the illness or disorder someone is dealing, with, please don’t assume that you know what’s going on.

Often, a person appears normal. Their struggle is not displayed for all the world to see, so others can’t determine why they are disabled or have social anxiety, etc. It’s hard to understand what we haven’t experienced. We’re not professionals. However, the individual experiencing these issues has lived with them for a long time. They have likely consulted with professionals. They’ve done the research. It has probably taken them a long time to draw conclusions or get professional validation. So, please, don’t tell them they are wrong.

They’ve been examining their behavior and looking for answers, so please don’t write it off as them conjuring it up for attention. They’re likely not looking for pity but would appreciate a little empathy. If you think it’s just a cry for help, consider helping, not judging. 

Also, please don’t minimalize it or tell them it’s just this or that. When you say, “Oh, everybody has anxiety,” or “Everyone gets depressed, well, yes, but how well do they function? If someone’s level of anxiety or depression makes their lives unmanageable, it’s not the same. There is persistent depressive disorder and major depressive disorder. Extreme anxiety can be problematic for driving, being able to cope and perform under pressure, and so on.

WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS

This one, for me, is the most heartbreaking.

Understandably, parents and other family members prefer that the child not be afflicted with this or that, but remaining in denial doesn’t help anyone. It hurts. It destroys. These kids need someone to seek answers for them, to understand what they’re going through. They shouldn’t have to feel alienated, ashamed, and alone. They certainly don’t deserve to be made fun of or shamed.

Granted, people don’t necessarily realize it when they contribute to the erosion of a child’s self-worth, but kids pay attention to how people treat them, and they get the message loud and clear. I wish I could say it didn’t distort their self-perception and make them more sensitive and insecure, but it does.

And by the time these kids become adults, they lose the motivation to nurture relationships because of what they’ve experienced—people not understanding, not believing, supporting, or trusting them. They ultimately give up.

I know a person who spent many years forcing themselves, with great difficulty, to act how they were expected to —only to have an eventual mental breakdown. This individual was completely broken from having essentially denied who they were all their lives. 

That particular story had to do with autism. 

It seems that when some people think of autism, they think of extreme autism, where you can immediately detect a problem. But we know now that there is a spectrum and that an autistic person can be high-functioning. At the same time, they may have difficulty with social interaction and reading social cues and so suffer from social anxiety. They may have many other issues, and you may notice them or not because many of them will do their best to act “normal.”

MY PLEA

We don’t have to tolerate bad behavior but please don’t vilify or demonize someone simply for having a mental illness or disorder.

If children are having difficulty, help them, please. Whether it’s a child or an adult reaching out to you, please listen with an open heart when they try to tell you what’s going on.

Too many people feel tremendous anguish and pain these days, so let’s all be part of the solution. Caring and trying to understand is always a great start.

WHILE YOU’RE UP ON THAT SUPREME PEDESTAL

Placing people on pedestals is one of the often-overlooked issues manifested by addiction. That’s because, as with any other addiction, our perception gets clouded, and our judgment is impaired, so we are confused. I talked about it in my memoir, Grateful to be Alive, because I did it myself for many years.

It’s not lovers alone we can place on a pedestal but parents, siblings, relatives, friends. The list goes on.

You can be the one putting someone on the pedestal or the one placed on the pedestal. I’ve been on both sides, and neither is good. It’s a disaster waiting to happen because when reality kicks in, and it will, the pedestal crumbles, and it’s a heart-wrenching plummet to the bottom. The unrealistic expectations we harbor lead to our devastating disappointment.

So, how do we know when someone is on a pedestal?

When relationships begin, it often seems that one or the other or both can do no wrong. It’s all worship and adoration, even if they haven’t spent nearly enough time together. People do fall in love quickly sometimes. It’s kind of the fairytale.

But what if your ego and addiction are clouding your perception? What if we construct what we want, need, and desperately crave to feed that ego and addiction—someone to be the perfect channel for what we require? I’m not talking about just thinking highly of someone or being authentically fond of them. I’m talking about idealization, where we’re fond of what we want that person to be and what we’ve convinced ourselves that they are. I’m talking about when, sadly, whatever we’re feeling has little, if anything, to do with them.

It may be someone we expect to give us attention, validation, admiration, and more, but they fall short and make us work hard for it. Or they may be a stand-in for someone like that because they fit the bill and seem more than willing to play along. Usually, it’s because they think the interest is genuine, and they’re flattered, or the attraction is mutual.

So, we elevate them almost to the status of a god. We hang onto their every word and obsess about everything they say and do. We can’t get enough of them. We propel the relationship into the accelerated lane. They became the hero in our story—for the moment or the era. They can tell you they’re not that person, or you are mistaken about some idea that makes it seem they walk on water, but you dismiss that.

We ignore any red flags or flaws they have, even when they are staring us in the face. We forget that everyone has flaws. At the same time, it’s typical for our perception of this “hero” to go from one extreme to another. This paragon of the ideal either walks on water or is a monster. We decide they can’t live without us, yet we fear we will lose them. We trust them; then we don’t. However, when there is so much as a hint of disloyalty or betrayal on their part, even with little to no evidence, we come out of denial momentarily, and we rage at them. We punish them, at least, in passive-aggressive ways. They’re not really allowed to do anything to destroy our image of them.

Those up on the pedestal can’t possibly live up to the image we created of them or meet all of those expectations we have because what we want is the fantasy—not the human being donning the costume. Before long, however, we return to denial to repeat the same cycle. We keep focusing on the good we want to see because shattering our illusions is somehow worse than remaining in a toxic relationship. Eventually, that final fall will happen, and it will be over.  

I used the word toxic because we are toxic when we are this fragile. We hurt people or put them in harm’s way. We put ourselves in harm’s way, too, because what we have is an obsession—a persistent, disturbing preoccupation with an unreasonable idea or feeling. Whoever is on the pedestal has all the power and can damage someone beyond repair if they want to. This idol we’ve manifested has become our dependency, our drug. If they want to take advantage of the situation, they’ll give us what we crave in spades—validation, attention, admiration, etc. They’ll instinctively know or learn to withhold it when necessary to regain control, so when it’s dangled before us, we can’t resist. Sooner rather than later, the relationship brings us tremendous pain for some fleeting moments of joy, we still crave it. A sense of emptiness prevails, and it hurts. It hurts a lot. We sense we are in bondage, and we are because we are at the mercy of our obsession. We are mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically sick.

All the while, we may swear that we love them to no end, but we don’t. We can’t love someone we don’t see. Love, as they say, is patient. I can assure you that obsession is not. I’ve found that people need to become friends before anything else and get to know one another before moving from fanciful idealization to genuine love.

A pedestal is the most insidious prison ever devised.
Neal Shusterman

Peacock on marble pedestal image by Ron Porter from Pixabay

Nobody is perfect image by by Alexa from Pixabay

HOPE FOR BROKEN DREAMS, BROKEN HEART

JUST MY THOUGHTS ABOUT RECENT NEWS

The recent backlash over the Titan submersive disaster still unnerves me, so I needed to organize some thoughts.

Aside from the mocking memes and jokes, people were chastised for having any empathy for the victims because they were rich and chose to do this dangerous thing, spending $250,000 for the privilege. They could have helped all the starving people, many said. Facebook posters expressed, in no uncertain terms, that rich people were evil and didn’t care about others, and they only got where they’d gotten by harming and exploiting others.

It was the same during the pandemic. Some gloated whenever the stock market plunged, like, “Haha, the rich people.” It didn’t seem to matter to them that the stock market and the economy impact each other. It affects everyone. It didn’t seem to occur to them either that not everyone who owns stock is wealthy or even close. A lot of people who have worked all their lives invest in their eventual retirement.

I can understand the anger. The disparity of wealth angers me, too. People are struggling, more and more of them losing jobs and finding themselves homeless, while many wealthy people don’t even pay their taxes. Senator Bernie Sanders said in his March 29, 2021, op-ed, “Over the past 40 years, there has been a massive transfer of wealth from the middle class and working families to the very wealthiest people in America. The United States cannot prosper and remain a vigorous democracy when so few have so much and so many have so little.” 

Of course, too, no one should take advantage of any system to exploit or oppress others. And because we always see that happening, it’s easy for people to be wary and think that anyone who has success would likely take advantage as well. One person suggested that the collective trauma of this reality is what sets people off to being callous themselves. “Maybe it’s a coping mechanism,” he said. “Maybe it helps.”

Yeah, if people are taking advantage of the system, that’s not okay. But don’t assume that they are.

Sure, you’ll find rich people who are cruel. But there are callous people in every walk of life, people who take advantage of others, hurt and destroy others, all walks of life. You don’t need to be rich to do that, and you don’t have to do that if you’re rich.

As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, it takes all kinds. I used to think if someone was in recovery, they had to have become a good person in the process, right? A wise person assured me that some of them are awesome people. Some are truly unkind. And there’s everything in between. No matter what group you’re talking about, it takes all kinds.

Everyone wants to live the American dream, and many people work hard to achieve that. Aside from whatever else they do, many have spent billions to combat disease and improve healthcare worldwide. Some fight for gun safety, urban development, and other charitable foundations. They fund criminal justice reform, immigration reform, healthcare, and housing. A number of them, along with many big-name actors, are devoted to human rights issues and are making a difference worldwide. Some have spent millions on environmental causes and conservation. Big stars in the music industry have also donated millions to charity. Dolly Parton has helped people rebuild their lives after wildfires. She’s given out scholarships. Elton John started the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Nicki Minaj has been donating to a village in India and paid off some student loans for her fans. 

There are many more, I have no doubt.

And yet, some people will say they’re just doing for clout or some other selfish purpose with no evidence of these claims. So, they are damned if they do, damned if they don’t. I still say you can’t assume what a person is doing or has done or will do and why. Many people donating, helping, and advocating are passionate about those causes.

Those who make dangerous voyages and are willing to spend a fortune to do it are also passionate about their causes. The ocean is this planet’s largest ecosystem, and we’re constantly learning more about it thanks to scientists and explorers.

The Brooklyn CUNY website states, “Because they are often driven by their curiosity about how our world functions, scientists are in the unique position to create new knowledge, and that leads them to develop new technologies.” So, yeah, scientific research is essential. Anyone concerned about climate change should know that the deep sea is a significant factor. 

So, I’m glad certain people have the curiosity and passion to explore. We need people like that. Maybe that’s why they are fearless. I know that when you are passionate about what you do, you will do it no matter what. That’s how I feel about writing. No matter what happens or doesn’t happen, I’ll never not do it. I can’t. So, I, and many others, can relate to people with passions and dreams.

As for the collective trauma, I realize that I have my own trauma responses to:

PrejudiceCharacter assassinationAssumptionsNot being given the benefit of the doubt

Some of the reactions I witnessed during the backlash reminded me that I don’t like anyone telling me how to feel or what to do in situations where people dispensing the advice don’t have all the facts, don’t really know how I feel or why, and, therefore, have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s consistent with their one-size-fits-all mentality. They’re quick to label you and put you into a category. They mock your viewpoint and minimalize the situation.

It’s what certain individuals do to people in marginalized groups, and I’m against it across the board. Look at all people as individuals rather than lump them into stereotypes.

And it doesn’t matter to me who is on the receiving end of tragedy—I hate to see any living being suffering. There’s not a person I can think of who has been harmful to me in my life that I want to see suffer. It’s just the way I’ve always been.

Take politics, for example—I want the crimes of politicians investigated, the same as I’d want any other crimes investigated. It doesn’t matter what party they belong to or their socioeconomic status or race or sexual preference or ethnicity, or religion. I want justice, but it doesn’t mean I enjoy seeing people suffer the consequences of their actions.

What I would enjoy is people not taking advantage, not committing crimes thinking they are above the law, and learning from their mistakes. That’s what I would enjoy.

I remember a story I heard years ago from a Rikers Island corrections officer here in New York. It was about what inmates did to a convicted rapist. Rapists are very low on my list for compassion, as anyone who knows me will tell you, but what this officer described to me, what they did to that guy, was hard to hear, hard to stomach, and it didn’t give me any pleasure. I’m glad the guy was incarcerated for his crimes so that he couldn’t harm anyone else, but I don’t get pleasure from his additional suffering.

It’s not in me.

People have said, “Well, what if it was so and so on the Titan sub?” I’ll skip the name, but no, it gives me no pleasure.

If you need to make fun of tragedies that befall the perceived enemy, and that helps, you do you. But then let me be me because I don’t have the stomach for it. I just don’t.

Under sea image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Red and blue masks image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Heart, stars, love image by emmagrau from Pixabay

Little girl and heart image by Veronica Colombo from Pixabay