Susan U. Neal's Blog, page 11

How to Increase Longevity through Laughter

There’s something to be said for a healthy sense of humor. Having a humorous outlook on life can increase longevity through laughter. Just look at all the funny people who lived beyond the average life span:

Related Post: How Singing Christmas Music Can Help Relieve Holiday Stress

Bob Hope (100)

George Burns (100)

Phyllis Diller (95)

Milton Berle (93)

Sid Caesar (91)

Dick Gregory (84)

Joan Rivers (81)

Jack Benny (80)

Danny Thomas (79)

Johnny Carson (79)

Lucille Ball (77)

Mel Brooks (95 and still laughing)

Betty White (99 and still laughing)

David Letterman (74 and still laughing)

Jay Leno (71 and still laughing)

George Wallace (69 and still laughing)

This is by no means a complete list, but there are enough listed here that it begs us to give consideration to the health benefits of a well-developed sense of humor.

A healthy sense of humor brings more friends into your life. Most people love to laugh, so they naturally congregate around funny people. Think about it—who would you rather sit next to at a boring seminar—the office clown or the bookkeeper? They say misery likes company. But are you ever really attracted to miserable people? Of course not. We usually steer clear of them.

In this time of uncertainty and high stress, we could all use more laughter in our lives. (Even the miserable ones. They just don’t know it yet.) If you’d like fun friends in your life, start laughing more and see the positive side of things. Then, watch your friend base grow.

Even medical science gives a nod to adding more humor into our lives. Laughter increases the endorphins in our body, making it easier to handle stress, lower blood pressure, and improve immunity.

There’s a reason we’re drawn to comedy movies, late-night comedy shows, and sitcoms. We enjoy being amused. It feels good, and statistically, it really seems to add a few years to our lives. 

The Bible even says that laughter is good for us. Proverbs 17:22 tells us that a cheerful heart is good medicine. Proverbs 15:15 says a happy heart has a continual feast. And Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us that there is a time to cry and a time to laugh. What time is it in your life?

Don’t get me wrong. A cheerful outlook doesn’t mean you won’t have problems. Life is full of stressors—daily traffic jams, depressing news stories, chronic illnesses, and sudden emergencies. Laughter is just another layer of protection that we can add to our health regime, like vitamins, a balanced diet, and exercise. 

And speaking of exercise, do you know that laughter even burns calories? The American Council on Exercise determined that a 170-pound person would need to spend ten minutes doing jumping jacks to burn 44 calories. (Personally, I do ten minutes of jumping jacks every morning. Well, half of that. I just clap.) But laughing for only fifteen minutes per day can burn nearly the same number of calories. So, which would you rather do? Watch a comedy film or join an aerobics class? LOL!

Okay, you might say, I understand that laughter is good for us, but these days, what’s there to laugh about? Plenty. It’s all in how you look at each situation. You need to figure out how to turn life’s lemons into lemonade and chuckle about it. 

Politics and negative daily news items won’t affect your attitude and health nearly as much when you hear them through the filter of comedy. So watch the news if you must, but follow it with an adequate dose of good comedic commentary.

Throughout history, the hardest times seemed to birth the best comedy. It’s called “comic relief,” and novelists, screenwriters, and playwrights have understood its power. Just when things look their bleakest, their most depressing, when all hope seems lost, the writer will add a bit of comic relief to the text to allow the reader or theater audience to take a break from the heaviness of the moment and giggle. The chuckle gets them breathing again and reminds them that the story isn’t over yet. In the darkest moments of life, there is usually someplace where we can find joy. Look for those moments of joy. 

Cartoonists also benefit from their comedic take on life. Political cartoonists have the gift of taking a frustrating news item and giving it an absurd slant, making us all snicker, instead of curling up in the corner and crying. Some, like “The Lockhorns,” allow readers to howl over Loretta and Leroy’s bickering while putting their own on hold. 

To be clear, though, there are plenty of life situations that we must take seriously. Real tragedies happen. Illness, death, loss—they’re all a part of life. It’s all those other areas, though, the ones we can, and need to, laugh about, that serve as a reminder that we’d all be better off if we could lighten up a bit.

So, while you’re planning your weekly exercise routine, charting your daily diet of nourishing foods, and following your doctor’s instructions for your own personal health needs, don’t forget to add plenty of laughter to your daily regimen, too. Whether it comes from the funny papers, comedy movies, your favorite sitcoms, or late-night talk shows, find the style of humor you like best and feel free to overdose on it. It can’t hurt, and it just might give you a whole new perspective on life. And if a happier outlook helps us live to our 80s, 90s, and even 100, it’ll make the journey that much more fun, too. 

About the Author

Martha Bolton is a professional comedy writer and the author of 88 books of humor and inspiration, including her latest award-winning book, Dear Bob… Bob Hope’s Wartime Correspondence with the G.I.s of WW2. Martha was Bob Hope’s first female staff writer and is a prolific playwright with family-friendly shows running in five states. You can find Martha at https://www.marthabolton.com

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Medicine Cabinet Essentials to Have in Case of Illness or Injury

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Have you ever considered what supplies you need to have for a well-stocked medicine cabinet? In the age of Covid, one item has become a necessity for every family, and it is readily available without a prescription.

Like most, you likely own a collection of first aid items, over-the-counter (OTC) medications, and even old prescriptions. And maybe current prescriptions too. I have vivid memories of my grandmother’s medicine cabinet. Her bathroom closet held linens and towels, but the lower shelves and drawers were stuffed with exotic-smelling things she used to treat aches and pains, the most potent being Vick’s salve. To this day, that unique olfactory mix of clean towels, pine, Pepto-Bismol, Epsom salts, and other medicinal scents reminds me of her. 

My medicine cabinet isn’t a cabinet over the sink–-it’s a closet like Grandma’s with a small pharmacy inside. I don’t keep daily prescriptions in the bathroom. Because of high humidity, the bathroom or kitchen is the wrong place to store prescription medications. Use a designated drawer elsewhere. Any other room will work as well, so long as children can’t access the medications. As the bottle says, “Store in a cool, dry place.” 

Essentials for a modern medicine cabinet:Thermometer—Ear thermometers are great for screening for a fever, and easier to use with a crying child. Either an alcohol-in-glass thermometer or a digital thermometer will give an accurate temperature if used correctly. Hint: Keep an extra battery on hand for the digital thermometer.Aspirin—A baby aspirin should be given to anyone having symptoms of a heart attack, unless they are allergic to aspirin. Keep it on hand because you never know if a guest or family member may need it. Acetaminophen and ibuprofen—for fevers and mild pain relief. Band-aids—a variety of different-sizes.  “Superglue” band-aid—to stop bleeding on superficial small cuts that don’t need sutures or butterfly bandages. If the cut won’t stop bleeding, or you can see tendons or other deep tissues, seek urgent care and avoid superglue. NEVER use superglue around the eyes! Spot oximeter—If you have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) or asthma, you’re familiar with this device. In the age of Covid, this small piece of equipment is a must. Readily available without a prescription, an oximeter runs about $20-40. The device clips on over a fingertip and measures the oxygen concentration in your blood. It’s great to have on hand for any severe respiratory infection or influenza. A normal reading is 95% or higher—if you have underlying lung disease, your doctor may give you other instructions as to when to call or seek urgent care. Lung disease may give you a chronically lower oxygen level. (Covid can cause astonishing drops in blood oxygen concentration that don’t match your symptoms, so being able to check your oxygen level is a bonus to determine if you need to go to the hospital. It could save a life.)Antibacterial ointment or spray—such as Bacitracin or Neosporin or generic ones. Topical itch spray—for bites, rashes, and sunburn. Bandage materials: 

A roll of clean white gauze, two inches, at least two inches wide or more.

Bandage tape-–my favorite is cloth tape, period. It’s more expensive but worth the cost because it holds well and peels off easier than other types. The plastic kind never stays on, adhesive tape peels off your skin about as well as duct tape, and paper tape works but doesn’t stay on long, especially if you sweat. 

4×4’s–-four-inch gauze squares that are great for larger areas. 2×2’s are nice for smaller abrasions and burns.

Non-stick squares (brand name Telfa) now come with adhesive edges which are handy for burns or for thin skin that tears easily.

Coban wrap is also called self-adherent elasticized wrap. This will secure nearly any bandage type and is easy to use. Just don’t wrap an extremity too tightly regardless of what you use.

Elastic wrap (or ACE wrap) is food for simple strains or to hold bandages or splints in place. Don’t wrap it too tight.

Butterfly bandages are good for minor, superficial lacerations. If the wound won’t stop bleeding, get it checked out. I once had a patient who used regular heavy sewing thread on a sizable arm laceration at home. She came in with a nice infection. Don’t sew up your own lacerations!

Elastic ankle brace–-not essential, but handy if someone has frequent sprains or is an athlete. Arm splint—a cloth splint with a strap that goes around your neck to support a broken or badly injured arm or shoulder. While it’s something you hope you never need, it’s cheap enough to keep on hand. Much easier than trying to improvise one on the fly, unless you were once a Scout. Tweezers and a small magnifying glass for splinter removal. NEVER try to remove a splinter in or around your eye. That should always be done by a physician. Plain saline nasal spray for stuffy noses. Plain saline eye drops for rinsing out dust or an eyelash from your eye.  ICE—either an old-style ice bag with a screw-on lid or the shake-and-break kind (more expensive, but portable and doesn’t last long as long.) Or gel packs you can freeze and store in your freezer. If you suffer from migraines, you are already well acquainted with these. Prescription medicines—should be stored in a place with low humidity, out of the reach of children, and separate from your medicine chest to avoid confusion. Heat packs—for sore backs and muscle strains but be sure to not burn yourself. Some heat patches will stick on and travel with you. First aid treatment list can be found online or a laminated cards can be purchased at a pharmacy or online. Free resources are available from the Red Cross at www.redcross.org Benadryl tablets or liquid (generic: diphenhydramine) is used o treat allergic reactions. Benadryl cream can be used for mild itchy rashes. Zanfel—If applied quickly enough, this gel can stop the rash from poison ivy and poison oak. It keeps the plant chemical from getting into your skin and starting the rash. Calamine lotion can be used for the itching and rash if it’s too late to use Zanfel. Epipen—if anyone in the family has a history of anaphylaxis. A doctor must prescribe this. Written list of emergency numbers—even if they are stored in your phone. Keep numbers for the police, fire department, your doctor, and the nearest emergency room in a handy place. Blood pressure cuff—if you have high blood pressure, talk to your doctor about getting and using one of these at home. Otoscope—over-the-counter scopes allow you to look at an eardrum or ear canal. Handy if you get wax buildup and need to confirm your ear canal is blocked. Parents can use these to screen their child for an ear infection–-check with your doctor or pediatrician first on what procedure they want you to follow. Never use anything in your ear to scrape something out–- trained healthcare personnel should only do this. You can puncture your eardrum. OTC yeast treatment—if you are prone to candida vaginal yeast infections, it’s a good idea to keep a preferred treatment on hand to avoid a trip out to the pharmacy in the middle of the night. Diabetic supplies if anyone is a diabetic. Keep fully stocked on supplies to test blood sugar levels. See “Living with Diabetes: How to Thrive, Not Just Survive.” 

If you keep all these things on hand, especially an oximeter to measure blood oxygen levels, you will always be prepared for any emergency with your well-stocked medicine cabinet. 

About the Author

Ronda Wells M.D. has been a physician for forty years and is board-certified in Family Practice. An award-winning author, her first novel, Harvest of Hope, is currently with a publisher. She loves to help other Christian authors with medical scenes and writes on medical topics in her “Novel Malpractice” column for Killer Nashville Magazine. She also blogs on her website, Med School for Writers. You can find her at www.rondawellsbooks.com

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How Singing Christmas Music Can Help Relieve Holiday Stress

The holiday season evokes many emotions, causing stress and fatigue. Food, family, and fatigue add to the angst. So how do we feel good about the extra cookies, relationship drama, and long hours shopping? According to research, singing can help relieve holiday stress by releasing pleasure endorphins and oxytocin. These hormones have been found to alleviate anxiety and stress during the holiday season. 

Benefits of Singing

Even if you can’t carry a tune, it can carry you. Research shows singing lowers stress, boosts immunity and lung function, enhances memory, improves mental health, and helps one cope with physical and emotional pain. So, turn up the tunes and sing at the top of your lungs.

Here are just some physical, emotional, and social benefits.

Increases Mental Alertness

Singing delivers oxygenated blood to the brain. Breathing in pure oxygen for a few minutes increases the blood’s oxygen saturation from about 98–99 percent (in normal breathing) to 100 percent, allowing us to make energy more efficiently.

Many of us are unfocused during the holidays. That’s when most fender benders occur. Let’s slow down, sing, and not allow the business to sidetrack us from the real meaning of the season.

Reduces Anxiety 

Singing for 2–3 minutes lifts the spirit. It forces oxygen into the blood, which signals the brain to release a mood-lifting endorphin—oxytocin. This hormone alleviates anxiety and stress and promotes feelings of trust. In turn, this decreases feelings of depression and loneliness. Try singing in the shower, washing the dishes, baking cookies, on the way to work, or before your next Zoom meeting. Let the notes carry your stress away.

Strengthens the Lungs and Cardiovascular System 

Strong lungs increase overall health and wellbeing by absorbing oxygen from the air and releasing it into the bloodstream. Oxygen helps the organs, including the brain, to function better. Your body produces carbon dioxide and releases it when you breathe out. For the elderly, disabled, and injured, singing is a perfect way to exercise muscles. Other health benefits of singing include a stronger diaphragm, increasing your aerobic capacity and stamina. As a person with fibromyalgia, my muscles tighten causing my oxygen intake to lessen. I find singing helps me breathe easier and feel better.

Improves Sleep

Multiple studies suggest singing and music enhances sleep due to its effects on hormones, specifically cortisol. Being stressed and having elevated levels of cortisol can increase alertness and lead to poor sleep. Experts believe singing strengthens throat and palate muscles, which helps reduce snoring and sleep apnea. My husband snores a lot. When he sang at church and performed karaoke, those midnight snorts reduced, and we both sleep better.

Boosts the Immune System

Results show singing for an hour reduced stress hormones, such as cortisol, and increases quantities of cytokines—proteins of the immune system—which boost the body’s ability to fight serious illness. Dr Ian Lewis, Director of Research and Policy at Tenovus Cancer Care and co-author of the research, said: “We’ve long heard anecdotal evidence that singing in a choir makes people feel good, but this is the first time it’s been demonstrated that the immune system can be affected by singing. It’s really exciting and could enhance the way we support people with cancer in the future.” The holidays bring people together and germs exchange hands along with the gifts. Pump up the volume of those songs and sing to reduce the chance of illness. Sing while you wash your hands too. We need to take every measure to stay healthy.

Helps Improve Motor Skills in People with Parkinson’s Disease

Parkinson’s is a progressive disease of the nervous system marked by tremors, muscular rigidity, and slow, imprecise movement. Elizabeth Stegemöller, an assistant professor of kinesiology, says the improvements among singing participants with Parkinson’s are similar to the benefits of taking medication. 

“We see the improvement every week when they leave the singing group. It’s almost like they have a little pep in their step. We know they’re feeling better, and their mood is elevated,” Stegemöller said. “Some of the symptoms that are improving, such as finger tapping and the gait, don’t always readily respond to medication, but with singing, they’re improving.” Know someone with a nervous system or motor skills condition? Help them by asking them to sing with you or a group of people. Their smile alone is the best holiday gift.

Improves Social Life

Whether you’re in a choir or singing karaoke with friends, one of the unexpected benefits is that singing can improve your social life. The bonds formed while crooning with others creates a level of intimacy and lasting friendships. 

A Sing Your Heart Out study conducted in the United Kingdom by Tom

Shakespeare PhD found the combination of singing and social engagement produced a feeling of belonging and well-being, often lasting more than a day.

When participants attended the workshops weekly, they felt the structure, support, and communication helped them maintain a higher level of purpose. The group singing helped those who experienced social anxiety improve their social skills and gain confidence. People love to sing during the holidays. Go Christmas caroling at a senior center or hospital. I remember when I worked at the Veterans hospital, we took our lunch break and sang for the patients. Their smiles carried me through the season, and many of them didn’t stop talking about it.

Singing spans the globe. I’ve traveled to Togo, Africa, El Salvador, Honduras, and Japan. I may not understand the language, but one thing I noticed, singers never frown. Joy sticks to each note and spreads to everyone listening. 

Whether you join a choir, sing karaoke or solo, singing relieves anxiety and improves the quality of your life. The best gift you can give yourself this holiday season is the gift of singing. Even if you don’t like your voice, turn the music up loud and sing. How has singing helped you change your holiday attitude?

About the Author

Cherrilynn is an award-winning writer, speaker, and coach. She loves encouraging her brothers and sister to stand firm and shine for Jesus. She is an expert in Book Proposals and memoirs. Her book Shine Don’t Whine is helping many women overcome fear, anxiety, perfectionism, and worry. She considers it an honor to be published twice in Chicken Soup for the Soul books, Kiss Guilt GoodBye, Heart Reno, Breaking the Chains, and Get to the Margins Author’s Anthology. Cherrilynn proudly served in the military for twenty years, earning the John Levitow Military leadership award. You find her at https://www.cherrilynnbisbano.com

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8 Ways to Reduce Stress During the Holidays

If you get stressed out during the holidays, here are some practices to put in place to help you focus on the real reason for the season. Eight Ways to Reduce Stress During the Holidays will help you enjoy the true meaning of the season. 

The snow pelted the open window as smoke filled the kitchen and dining room. The high-pitched beeping from the smoke detector mocked me with every beep. “You burnt the cookies again. You burnt the cookies again!” Over and over, it mocked me. Tears welled up as I, once again, ruined another Christmas tradition. 

This Christmas was going to be the perfect Christmas, I thought to myself. 

So perfect, it was going to be like a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie. The vision of my family and I sitting around the table, laughing, icing the cookies, and listening to Christmas music dashed away as quickly as Santa’s reindeers. 

Hearing a commotion in the doorway, I turned around to see my family staring wide-eyed at me. I couldn’t tell if it was a look of concern because I was crying over burnt cookies or if it was because they had thought I’d lost my mind. 

My tears turned into sobs as I tried to explain that I had ruined the perfect Christmas I had envisioned. To my shock and dismay, my husband and two sons burst out laughing. They revealed to me their true thoughts on my culinary skills. While I could cook, my baked goodies were far from stellar. Every year, they choked down my cookies because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

It was the truth I needed to hear. As a result, I can now publicly declare that I am not a baker. That day, my family put things in perspective for me. The stress of having the perfect Christmas impeded the joy and happiness of what Christmas is truly about. 

RELATED POST: 4 Tips for Handling Extended Family Stress During the Holidays

It’s About the Gift of a Savior and the Love of a Father.

From that Christmas on, instead of focusing on the secular side of Christmas, I focus on the true meaning of the Christmas season. Not only does this reduce stress, but my focus now shifts to my spiritual health, which helps me enjoy the holidays even more. 

If you are stressed out during the holidays, here are some practices that I put in place to help me focus on the real reason for the season.

Eight Ways to Reduce Stress During the HolidaysIt’s Ok to Say “No.” In the last two months of the year, our calendars are filled to the brim with family gatherings, school programs, and other festive activities. Everyone is busy, and we may be asked to take on additional responsibilities. One of the most important things that I’ve learned is that it’s ok to say “no.” If someone asks me to do something that will cause additional stress in my life, I don’t commit to doing it. It’s hard to tell someone that you cannot fit another thing on your calendar, but my health and well-being need to come first over anything else.Rest! Rest! Rest! I remember when my boys were toddlers and how they fought naptime. Exhaustion eventually won out. The same thing can be said for us, friend. Fatigue will ultimately win, so enjoy a good nap. It’s refreshing, and your body and soul will thank you for it! Try Not to Overindulge. With the holidays comes all the delicious holiday food. While it’s ok to nibble here and there on your favorite dessert, don’t overdo it. The high intake of sugar can cause us to feel sluggish and out of sorts. No one wants to see us tired and cranky! Increased water intake is a must during the holiday season. The recommendation is eight glasses of water a day. Let it Go! Traditions are important to us. However, if the thought of doing it this year is causing stress, it’s ok to skip that tradition. Your family will thank you for it. And in my case, they don’t have to eat burnt cookies anymore!Laugh a lot! As the old saying goes, “laughter is good for the soul.” Sometimes having a good belly laugh is all that it takes for a mood shift. You can watch your favorite comedy, movie, or visit with family and friends. So do whatever you need to do to laugh until the tears are streaming down your face!Turn to Your Savior. When you feel the stress and anxiety of the holiday season start pressing in on you, turn to Jesus and cast all your cares and anxieties on Him. Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV) tells us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Jesus is waiting for us to come to Him and hand our burdens over to Him. Have a moment of silence and solitude and focus on Jesus. Rest in Him! 

Pray: The holiday season is the perfect time to set aside time to pray. We have an open line of communication with God, so let’s talk to Him!  If you don’t know where to begin, start with ACTS—Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication, and Silence. Adoration—focus on the attributes or characteristics of God. We can worship the Lord by acknowledging His greatness. He is Almighty, Counselor, Deliverer, Faithful, Father, Holy, King, Lord Most High, the list can go on and on. Confession—Use this time to confess your sins and ask God for forgiveness. What is confessed is between you and God and no one else. Thanksgiving—Thank God for answering prayers. Thank Him for the people in your life. You can even thank Him for finding your keys and not being late for your appointment or getting the kids to school on time. Thank Him for sending His Son for us! Supplication and Silence—Use this time to make your prayer requests known to God. Pray for your family, yourself, our country, and anything else that comes to mind. After making your prayer requests, sit in silence for a while. Listen for the whispers of the Lord.Study Scripture: Dig into the Word! Nothing feeds your soul as much as reading the Word of God. A great way to engage in reading the Bible is to read the Gospel of Luke. From Jesus’s humble beginnings to His ministry to His death and resurrection, Luke gives a beautiful account of the life of Christ. It’s twenty-four chapters long, and if you read it daily, beginning on December 1, by December 24th, you would have read about the life of our Savior. You can also listen to the Bible as you travel to visit family and friends. Many Bible apps can read the text to you. This is a terrific way to be enriched with the Word of God. Not only will you benefit from hearing the Word, but so will your passengers. I hope these tips will help you enjoy a stress-free holiday season. Blessings to you! About the Author

Missy Eversole is an author and speaker from Morton, Illinois. She is a wife to Craig and mom to Grant and Connor. She enjoys family time and the laughter that comes with it. Missy is a contributing blog writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Online Bible Studies, COMPEL, Kingdom Edge Magazine, and the Dawn app. In addition, she is the author of Transformed, Not Conformed: Embracing a Life-Changing Approach to Spiritual Habits. She writes about faith and family weekly on her blog at www.missyeversole.com.

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4 Tips for Handling Extended Family Stress During the Holidays

The holidays are nearing again. Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations bring family traditions to the forefront as we bid farewell to a year most are glad to see go. We’ll be forever changed in some ways, but believers have much to celebrate. But along with the joy comes handling extended family stress during the holidays. 

“As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God,” 1 Peter 4:10 (NKJV). 

If we’re fortunate, we’ll celebrate with family; grateful that even through difficult times we can count our blessings. This was the year we couldn’t assemble at Easter. Birthdays and anniversary celebrations were scaled back, celebrated without the typical fanfare. The mood improved for most, but many struggled with new restrictions.

Interestingly, I’m speaking with folks even more determined to make this approaching season more meaningful and more festive.

At our Thanksgiving gathering, 35-plus family members will fill tables that stretch between two rooms. It’s been our custom for each one to share one thing for which we’re most grateful. Smiles and tears usually flow together. It’s a sweet tradition engaging every person from our 89-year-old matriarch down to the toddlers.

Once turkey day concludes, the Christmas festivities begin and our calendars strain under the load. Family gatherings are on the agenda as we celebrate the Savior’s birth. It was, after all, the point of His arrival—to reunite us with the Father through His Son. 

It’s a Balancing Act

Unfortunately, stress seems an inevitable feature of the season. There are many added non-negotiable activities. Shopping, cooking, planning, Christmas cards, juggling holiday events, and more. And for most of us, our routine commitments, deadlines, speaking engagements, and work are not on a holiday hiatus. 

We look forward to the holidays and dread them all at the same time. The busyness becomes a balancing act as we try to manage them all. So how do we make it work? 

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Give Yourself Some Grace

This season, review what you’ve considered non-negotiable traditions. Focus on the important stuff; surrender the minutia. If you don’t make your homemade peanut brittle for 40 people the world won’t stop spinning. Surrender the mantra “But that’s how we’ve always done it!” Your loved ones will give you grace; give yourself some, too. 

We eliminated the “Mom does it all” routine years ago. My daughters-in-law are major contributors to the planning, preparing, and cleaning up—and they bring others to help. We collaborate on the menu with the entire family—and everybody signs up for an item to prepare. Recently we discovered the traditional turkey dinner was nobody’s favorite. Last year we did Mexican food. This year will be Texas barbecue!

Give Others Grace, Too

Gathering the clan is key to many holiday plans. It often means we celebrate with family we see infrequently. It can be an odd menagerie of relatives with the potential to create some interesting conversation and perhaps stressful situations—that’s for certain. 

“Did you notice your husband’s weird Uncle Harold seemed even stranger than usual? And I knew Gramps would bring up politics. Suzanne let her kids run wild—again. And your sister had more “bah humbug” than “ho-ho-ho.” 

The facts are simple: when you marry, you inherit a bunch of folks you might have left on the bench if you were choosing teams for life. When you say “I do” you get a ready-made roster for free.

For many, the first observation when the extended family gathers is how different they are. Different from you and your immediate family. How different they are from normal people. Mama used to say “normal’s just a setting on the dryer.” She was right on target.

Without grace, relationships can become casualties of these observations. I’m certain it grieves God’s heart. It was not His plan.

So how can we do better this year? As in all things for the believer, God’s Word becomes the roadmap. “God has the power to provide you with more than enough of every kind of grace. That way, you will have everything you need always and in everything to provide more than enough for every kind of good work,” (2 Corinthians 9:8 CSB). While the group can be odd, they are family. God’s big on family. 

Tips to Handle Extended Family Stress During the Holiday Season

There’s good news: you can take action, this holiday season to improve. Perhaps you’ll even learn to appreciate those that tend to rub you the wrong way. Here are a few tips:

Pray ahead of family gatherings. And I’m not talking about “Lord, don’t let Gladys ruin the holidays again!” Pray the day brings the family together and refuse to let past friction set the tone. Ask the Lord to be the umpire of conversations, bringing joy and celebration for all. Praying for others is important, and it changes your heart, too. Leave competition on the field. Competitions yield a winner and a loser—don’t create that environment. Resist temptation to compare or compete, whether it’s over whose kids have achieved more, whose pie is the best, or who drives the nicest car. And in our current setting, refrain from political debate.Remember that different isn’t wrong, it’s just different. Offer grace. Suspend judgment. It’s not your job—unless you see behavior that’s damaging to you or others. And then seek God’s guidance on if, when and how to address it—but it doesn’t warrant a 911 call. Let it go.Extend Grace. A favorite quote that’s helped me many times comes from Toby Mac at Speak Life: “When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their internal struggle than it ever did with you . . . you learn grace.”

It might not be easy, but in Christ, it’s possible. Let grace flow.

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Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle

It is God’s intent that we prosper and be healthy as our souls prosper (3 John 2). I believe that a healthy lifestyle is a choice. Of course, because we live in a broken world, we are subject to that world because of sin and free will, but wisdom and the Holy Spirit (as He is the revealer of all things) can help us live well. 

At the start of the pandemic, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to two words, “go walk.” I had just bought new walking shoes, so it was a perfect time to break them in. I started walking two years prior. I was doing good, but unfortunately, I had stopped. Here I was again, with the Holy Spirit nudging me to restart. In obedience, I laced up my new shoes and off I went. As I obeyed, I received great instructional insight. I could see God’s plans for me and how I needed to partner fully with those plans. 

To work on being healthy was one way I needed to fully corporate with God. He said, “you can’t work for me if you are sick. I need you to break this curse.” In my family there are few that have a healthy diet and lifestyle. My maternal grandmother died of heart disease and my paternal grandmother died of cancer. I felt the Lord nudging me to change this in my immediate family. He wanted me to show my children a better way of living. 

The Deception of Unhealthy Food

Lust and deception are two powerful mechanisms, especially when combined. During my devotion time, He instructed me to make better food choices. I asked, “Lord, can you help me with that?” He said, “just as a sinner needs my grace and power to remain free from sin you need that same power to be free from unhealthy foods. Sin kills but so does excessive eating—gluttony.” When God spoke these words of conviction, I humbled myself, repented, and asked him for help. 

Friend, God’s grace is sufficient for our weaknesses. Paul told us,“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9). A weakness for someone may be the crack pipe, cigarettes, or like for me, sugar. I needed God’s power to resist sugar and maintain a low-sugar diet. 

Lust and deception ultimately got Adam and Eve kicked out of the garden of Eden. The lust was so powerful that it caused them both to disobey. Deception blinded them from realizing the consequences. No one takes drugs intending to die. No one smokes with the intent to kill themselves, and certainly no one eats with the intent that it will one day end their life. Lust and deception are the enemy’s ultimate weapons. Satan is a deceiver and master manipulator. He appeals to the carnal nature and its cravings, and his motive is to destroy his unsuspecting victims. 

The Thief

The thief comes to kill, steal, and to destroy (John 10:10). The thief is masterful at what he does. How do I know this? Simply put, there have been many believers that have died at their own hands. A thief is a person who steals another person’s property. I believe health is one thing the thief attempts to steal to destroy Christ’s followers. What I have noticed about this thief is that his motive is to act under the radar and carry out his mission in such a way that the victim is unsuspecting and unaware. My friends 2 Corinthians 2:11 warns us, “lest Satan should get an advantage over us. For we are not ignorant of his devices.” 

These devices are ancient tactics. We are wise to follow the voice of the Holy Spirit that we may journey well and fight a good fight of faith, so we can finish our course and assignment in the earth (2 Timothy 4:7). Friend, I encourage you to change your unhealthy habits today and invite God into every area of your life. The enemy is a defeated foe, but he is seeking to take as many Christians as possible. 

If you have read this and felt conviction, you may need to repent, ask for help, as I did. I needed God’s power to assist me when I was weak. He wanted me to live life and live it to the fullest. I couldn’t do that while the thief had access to my health through unhealthy food. I want to encourage you to take your health back. God desires to stop the thief from stealing anything that belongs to you and that includes your health. 

Check out Sherri Downs and Susan Neal’s YouTube discussion about this topic at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiVC5po1W_0

Author Bio

Sherri Downs is a wife and mother of two. Sherri is the owner and founder of Touch Downs Enterprise LLC/Ministries, a published author, life coach, podcast host, mentor, and speaker. Sherri is committed to her mandate to teach and instruct in the body of Christ. Sherri believes in the power of God that allows every believer to walk in newness. You can find Sherry at Touchdownsenterprise.com. Check out her book, Don’t be Bullied by the Devil. 

YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/SherriDowns

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Living with Diabetes – How to Thrive, Not Just Survive

It was a day that changed my life forever. The day my mother shared the results of a blood test I had taken earlier that week. My symptoms? Leg cramps, frequent trips to the restroom, and a sudden loss of weight. The diagnosis — diabetes type I. To me, it could not have been worse news. Or worse timing. How could I go on living with diabetes? 

My Story: Living with Diabetes

I was eighteen years old, barely out of high school, and planning a wedding the following spring. I had also grown up watching my oldest sister struggle with this disease. She had been a diabetic since she was four-years-old, so I was fully aware of the challenges. The daily shots with hypodermic needles (no micro-fine disposable syringes back then). The low blood sugar reactions that sent ambulances to our house regularly. The high blood sugar readings that also brought concern and hospital admissions. And so much more. 

My biggest concern was breaking the news to my fiancé. What if he did not want to marry someone who would bring along a lifetime of medical bills as her dowry? My fears were eased when my future husband’s reaction to my news was simply, “So?” His “we’ve got this” attitude took a tremendous weight off my shoulders, and it made me feel hopeful. Still, neither one of us knew what the future held. 

At first, my doctor treated my diabetes with oral medication. But on that regimen, I could only eat meat and vegetables, so I lost more weight. I was thin as a rail for our wedding, but if we were ever going to have a family, which we both wanted, I was going to have to switch to daily injections of insulin Being a little squeamish to needles, my husband typically gave me my shots. 

Diabetic Management

I found a wonderful new doctor who specialized in diabetes, and with the advancements being made in diabetic care, I soon realized that this diagnosis was not as scary as I originally feared. It could have a serious side, but if I followed the low-sugar diet, and tried to keep stress, infections, and illnesses to a minimum, I could not just live with diabetes, but thrive. 

The key to living and thriving with diabetes remains management.

I learned how to follow a…

low-sugar, healthy diet, (Learn How to Eat a Low Sugar Diet)exercise,monitor your medications, check your blood sugar levels,stay hydrated,minimize infections,follow your doctor’s orders, avoid alcohol, and keep stress to a minimum. 

In fact, it was because of my diabetes that I ended up living the life I always wanted.

Thriving Career Despite Living with Diabetes 

I loved writing since I was nine years old, and I continued to write even after my diagnosis. My first magazine article was about the adoption of our first son. His adoption came after a miscarriage and a full-term stillbirth, in which diabetes played a role. We adopted another son, and three-and-a-half months later, I successfully delivered a biological son. I wrote a magazine article about all of it.

I continued to write about life and the challenges it can bring. Diabetes is just one of them. Today, as a 50-year survivor of diabetes and the recipient of the 50-year medal from Joslin Diabetes Center at Harvard Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, I can look back on my life and realize that despite what I may have thought a half-century ago when I first learned of my diagnosis, diabetes has not held me back. It has not always been easy, but I have made it. And I have had the time of my life!

Since that very first article, I have written eighty-eight books, became Bob Hope’s first female staff writer, received nominations for an Emmy, Dove, and a WGA Award, and am currently a playwright with productions in five states. No, diabetes did not hold me back.

My newest book, co-written with Linda Hope (Bob Hope’s daughter), Dear Bob… Bob Hope’s Wartime Correspondence with the G. I.s of WW2 (University Press of Mississippi, 2021) was recently featured on CBS Sunday Morning with Jane Pauley.

That is not all. Not only do we have three sons, but we also have a baseball team of grandchildren. I am looking forward to receiving my 75-year medal one day, or even being cured of diabetes altogether. With the advances in the treatment of diabetes, eradicating this condition altogether seems a real possibility.

Others Living with Diabetes

One of my regrets is that my sister did not live long enough to see all the advances in diabetes care and management. I know she would have benefitted from them. She would have been especially thrilled with the improvements in sugar-free desserts. 

Even though she is no longer here, my sister remains one of my heroes. As does Mary Tyler Moore and so many others who lived and thrived with diabetes: 

Halle Berry, Tom Hanks, Sharon Stone, George Lucas, Johnny Cash, Bret Michaels, and Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor (diagnosed with Type I when she was seven years old).

So do not let a diagnosis of diabetes keep you from doing everything you were created to do. This condition does not have to be a roadblock to your dreams. It can be a springboard. That is exactly what it was in my situation. Writing about my challenges with diabetes and pregnancies launched my career as a writer.

So, to those of us who live with this disease, to those we have lost to it over the years, and to all the researchers, doctors, nurses, and other members of the medical community who have dedicated their lives to finding a cure, I wish you Happy Diabetes Month! 

Because even with diabetes, life can be oh so sweet!

Author Bio:

Martha Bolton is an Emmy-nominated television writer and the author of 88 books. She was Bob Hope’s first female staff writer, working for Bob in the 1980s and 1990s. She is also an award-winning playwright with musicals currently playing in five states. She has been an insulin-dependent diabetic for 51 years. You can find Martha at https://www.marthabolton.com and her book at https://www.upress.state.ms.us/Books/D/Dear-Bob.

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How to Experience a Healthy Mind and Soul

You may have heard it been said that to live a healthy lifestyle, you should be healthy in your body, mind, and spirit. That is an accurate statement, but what is more accurate is to be healthy in your body, soul, and spirit, because we are composed of these three. We were created in the image of God, and He is three in one. In that likeness, He made us three in one, possessing a body, soul, and spirit. So, to be healthy, we must strive for a healthy mind and soul. Our soul is comprised of our mind, will, and emotions. To have a healthy mind we need to experience healthy emotions and make healthy decisions. Decisions are an exercise of our will. Unhealthy emotions can lead to unhealthy decisions.

How do we develop a healthy soul?

What is the process of undergoing “soul health”? As with the body and spirit, it begins with the right diet and exercise. As you put healthy food in your body, foods that God creates (such as fruits, vegetables, protein, whole grains that are low in carbs and gluten-free) your body responds positively to that healthy diet. The Bible says in Mark 9:23, “Let food be thy medicine.” Healthy food heals the body. Also, as you exercise your body, it gets stronger and more flexible. Likewise, in order to have a healthy spirit, you need to have a regular diet of the Bread of Life, which is Bible verses. As you digest God’s Word, it brings healing to your spirit. Exercising your spirit through prayer and worship also strengthens you in your spirit. Waiting on the Lord renews your strength and allows you to soar on wings like eagles, to run and not grow weary, and walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31). So what about the soul?

Let me start with an analogy. The temple of the Old Testament was made up of three architectural structures, one within the other. First, there was the outer court, then as you moved inward, you came to the inner court, and finally you moved inside the Temple called the Holy Place. Isn’t it interesting the temple is three in one. “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple?” (1 Corinthians 3:16). The outer court represents your body. The inner court represents your soul, and the Holy Place is your spirit. Within the Holy Place was the Holy of Holies, which is where the Presence of God dwelt. Likewise, His spirit lives deep within your spirit. This is the place where the Bible says you and He are one. Christ is in you!

How to protect both your body and soul.

All along the outer court (your body) are gates. In order to protect both your body and soul, you have to be careful what you let in those gates. You must guard your gates! What are those gates? They are your eyes, ears, and mouth. What we let in through our eyes and ears will reach our inner court (our soul) and will affect our mind and heart (emotions) and eventually move our mouths, hands and feet (our will). “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23). Meaning everything you do flows from it. Matthew 12:34 says, “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Everything we do and say comes from our heart. 

We must supply our hearts and minds with a healthy diet.

God’s Word is the best place to start. It is in His Word that Jesus is revealed. We need to understand Jesus. Jesus is the Gate. Have you opened the gate? Do you see Him the way you should? “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me were thieves and robbers. But the true sheep do not listen to them.” (John 10:6-8). We must be careful of other gates (thieves and robbers) that try to expose us to harmful and sinful things. These other gates come in the form of media that we may read, watch, and listen. We must be very careful of what we let in through the gates of our eyes and ears. The news and television are full of stories and programs that are designed to illicit an emotional response, bring us into agreement with sin, and conform to a certain way of thinking. People say and do a lot of unhealthy things from a place of compromise and heightened emotional states. We are usually triggered by these emotions because they are connected to a lie from the enemy that we believe. When we feed on the unhealthy diet of the enemy’s lies, our soul responds in a negative way. Can you think of some examples right now of what you read, watch, or listen to that got you all worked up and made you doubt God’s goodness? This is a sign that you should cut that out of your diet. 

Guard those gates, and don’t allow the enemy any point of entry. Negative feelings of fear, hurt, anger, bitterness, and sadness, to name a few, can fill our heart and mind when we fill our mind and thoughts with the way the world. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed by the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind.” Another versions says, “. . . change the way you think.” This can only happen through exercise. The world can get us to conform to a pattern by keeping us thinking the same way. This negative thinking as it goes around and around in our mind makes a path. As a kid, did you ever cut across your yard to a friend’s house by traveling the same path? What probably happened was that you wore a path in the grass, and over time the path deepened. This path in our mind that deepens over time, eventually develops into a trench in which we can’t get out. Only by thinking a new way, God’s way, having the mind of Christ, can we reverse the damaging pattern. It’s like running uphill, or swimming against the current. Quite an exercise for the soul. But the more we fill our mind, hearts, and mouth with God’s truth, the easier it will get as we exercise the receiving of spiritual truth.

A healthy diet of spiritual truth is exactly what our soul needs to be healthy.

As we let the spiritual truth in through our gates, we allow our mind and heart to “work it out”. This exercise strengthens our soul as we meditate (think on it) allowing that truth to go around and around in our mind until it eradicates the lies. Another spiritual work-out routine we can engage in is declaring God’s promises. When we declare what God’s Word says, it builds our faith. “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). There is no better place to hear God’s Word, then from your own mouth. Let it flow from your gate! Bible verses have creative power to release health or sickness. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” We can contribute to an unhealthy soul by the things we say. Complaining, griping, gossip, and accusations create a type of sickness within our soul. But declaring the promises of God over our lives and over others helps us reverse this sickness and actually bring health to our soul. Which fruit have you been eating lately?

Another exercise that strengthens our heart by filling it with God’s love and truth is singing to the Lord. Singing transforms our soul into a strong, faith-filled muscle and untwists our heart to let God’s love and grace flow freely through it. In essence, the song from our mouth opens the gate. Just as our body’s muscles develop and release toxins as we exercise, so too can the muscles of our soul grow stronger and release toxic emotions. It is from this healthy state that we let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in our hearts to God (Colossians 3:16). And, from this healthy state, we make decisions that line up with God’s Word, letting Him guide our hands and feet, and whatever we do, we do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Our will can be very strong and stubborn at times. God gave us a free will, and we sure like to exercise it. Sometime the most productive exercise for the soul is the act of submission. In swimming, it is unproductive to swim against the current. You can wear yourself out very quickly. But if you turn around and swim with the current, you go a lot farther, faster. In the same way, when we surrender our will to the will of God, we can flow with Him instead of working against Him. Turning around or repenting and submitting to God will take us farther and help us get to where we’re supposed to be much faster. It will also prevent us from getting off on a tangent of our own making. When we come to a crossroad and need to make a decision, He will be the voice behind saying, “This is the way walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21). Our own will can lead us in the wrong direction, but if we choose the Ancient Path (Jeremiah 6:16), or God’s will and way, we will not be led astray. We can be free from the consequence of poor choices and experience His peace and blessings when we choose to follow His will and surrender our own.

Our entire temple is healthy when we first have a healthy body, guarding the gate of our mouth and watching what we eat and drink. Second, when we have a healthy soul because we guard the gates of our eyes and ears, we experience full hearts and transformed minds. We make moral decisions from a place of faith and submission, instead of poor decisions brought about from heightened emotions, confused thinking, and a strong will. And last, healthy bodies and souls lead to a healthy spirit. We come unhindered in our heart, mind, and will, giving God our full attention and dwelling in His presence. In His presence is where we can find peace and rest for our weary souls. 

Having guarded our gates, we now have them open to the power of the Holy Spirit. The King of Glory can now come into our temple. We can have a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (1 Peter 1:3-4). Let your soul become a partaker of the divine nature of the Holy Spirit as He flows freely and unhindered through your gates.

About the Author

Kim Patterson served in her church for over fifteen years, leading various small groups and teaching bible studies. It is her love for the Lord that fuels her desire to see others grow in Christ and walk in freedom and victory. She is the author of, To the Thirsty, Journey into the Depths of God which helps others grow spiritually and relationally with God. Kim is a 2020 graduate from the JFA School of Supernatural Ministry (Bethel Curriculum). Visit her website at www.TotheThirsty.com and watch her video blog, Real Time—Kim Patterson on YouTube.

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3 Effective Ways to Overcome Bitterness in Your Life

Learn three effective ways to overcome bitterness in your life by Tammy Whitehurst.

There comes a time when we are done.

Done with crying.

Done with anger.

Done with betrayal.

Done with bitterness.

Done with anxiety.

Done with not living healthy. 

Flat out… done.

My Story

It’s like a slow cooker finally boiling over. Most days I wake up smiling, put on my armor, and with humor weave my way through whatever life throws at me. I have lived most of my life this way. My goal is to seek the sunshine and joyful things waiting to be found, which is not always easy. Then something happened.

Here’s how it began. I woke up and had an ugly enemy bombarding me from all directions. It was all I could do not to weep. The one thing I want is to live life fully alive, and being bitter was like sinking in quicksand—one slow, suffocating moment at a time. 

As a child, I grew up in a big and happy family. A family that stuck together, valued our elders, laughed, and cried on one another’s shoulders. No matter what we did, good or bad, silly or serious, we loved each other. God gave me these people to call mine forever. They are my people. Of course, we had our hardships, tears and fears, but we always could stand up and brush ourselves off and keep going. We loved regardless.

I was always told I was a wonderful mother. At school, my students told me they wished I was their mother. I loved big and hugged hard. I thought I had done things right. Then, with little warning, a bomb hit, and emotional shrapnel flew everywhere. I felt as if my child walked away from the family. But most of all from me. I felt betrayed. She’d served as my sidekick on mission trips because she was a fearless leader. I’d laughed with her and cried with her. I’d cheered her on and encouraged her through tough days. Then she went away to college, and the unthinkable happened. She not only left home, it felt as if she left the family behind. Never calling to talk and rarely coming home. Relationships with siblings were strained, and being around her was awkward. She had fallen in love with someone who loved her with all his heart, but she forgot where she came from. I grieved. Cried. Wept and wailed.

I woke up every day to a new day, but never in a new way. It was another day without her. The phone never rang. The ping of a much-needed text was silent. It seemed like I was no longer important to her. I felt as if she discarded me like a dirty dishrag. Being sucker-punched by a loved one is exactly how it felt. The very one I would take a bullet for can sometimes pull the trigger. The feeling is indescribable. The pain of betrayal is deep and overcoming. It was a hard kick in the gut that left me gasping for air. Breathless. I got stuck in grief as if my feet were sinking in quicksand.

Those “heart-hurt” experiences of betrayal can make us either better or bitter. Being bitter scars. And many times is followed by trying to get even. Being better is splattered with hope. I made my choice. I chose to be bitter. Headaches, heartaches, and hard days lay ahead. I fell flat on my face and tripped over the trials of life. I shut the door on opportunities and opened the door to a destructive emotion named Bitter. I welcomed him in and said hello to one of the ugliest enemies a person can face—the enemy who steals joy, quiets laughter, smothers hope, ushers in loneliness, and gut punches the soul. Bitterness hardens the heart but disguises itself as strength. Don’t be fooled. I knew if I chose bitterness over betterness, it would sabotage me. Depression crept in and I stayed in bed too long, wanting to hide under the covers and disappear became a reality. Bitter was the taste coming off my tongue and the taste was bad. Tears came daily and sadness loomed over me like a dark cloud. 

It took a while, but finally I woke up one morning, and I was done. Enough was enough! It was time to live again, trust again, and love without boundary lines. I was face to face with backing up and starting over. How we back up determines how the rest of our life turns out. I had to start over. To get back in the race and run with arms wide open to the life that lay ahead. But most of all, to never give up hope in a relationship being restored.

I had to stop walking around smelling like smoke from being burned. I realized that I also had blamed, shamed, and said things I could not take back. Once words are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten. It was time for me to take responsibility, too. As a hardheaded, outspoken, southern woman, I learned God couldn’t fix what I wouldn’t face. So I faced it head on. The truth is, I gave my opinion too much, and an opinion given without being asked for was criticism. My opinion used to make sense. Now it just gave offense.

My daughter didn’t feel she could ever measure up to my expectations. I apologized, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I wailed. I wept. I wanted her back as my daughter. However, she was not interested in me being in her life at this point. She could live without me being a part of her life. I had a tough choice to make.

Since the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit, I figured I qualified. I got out of the line of fire. I threw up the white flag of surrender. I immersed myself in His Word. He pulled me up, lifted my chin, and assured me Jesus loved her more than I did. But most of all, He assured me I was lovable. I am still lovable. The words I so needed to know. The Bible is full of promises and comfort, and it was time I believed them for myself.

I could not control whether or not she loved me. I had to face the cold hard fact: I had no control over anything except my own actions. It was time to pay attention to how I reacted from this day forward. It was time to seek the sunshine again.

We all go through some kind of heart hurt and betrayal. From my experience, I know it will steal your laughter, kill your joy, and try to destroy hope. The only anecdote for bitterness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is a strong-willed decision. However, it is the only decision that would bring me freedom from the prison of bitterness.

No more sitting, soaking, and souring. When we forgive and allow Jesus to heal our broken heart, he rearranges the letters in depression to spell “I pressed on.” We can hide our hurts behind closed doors or out in the open. Want to live life fully alive and experience day-to-day joy? Forgiveness is the only option. Unforgiveness disqualifies. The price for unforgiveness is too high. We must sell all of our stock in it now and press on. 

Part of pressing on is to allow God to use someone to show us compassion. To be transparent and trust the one God sends. Compassion need not be complicated. Comfort doesn’t require big words or wise advice. Comfort for me was a friend’s shoulder, crying till I could cry no more, and her petting my hair softly. Sometimes saying “I am sorry” is the best thing someone can say to someone who is hurting. And sometimes, when it’s been a really tough week, it’s all we need to hear. My friend assured me I was lovable. I needed to hear it. 

When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer (Psalm 94:19 NLT).

“Father God, show me how to love like You do. Show me how to express my deep, unconditional love in a way people can receive. Heal the places in my heart where I feel rejected and betrayed, and if bitterness is trying to build a wall, tear it down. I do not want to carry around anything in my heart that should not be there. I want freedom, forgiveness, and joy. Only You can set me free. Because of You, I have hope that one day full restoration will happen because You tell me love never fails. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.”

How can we learn ways to overcome bitterness when we’ve been betrayed?

So here is the million-dollar question. How do we overcome bitterness when we’ve been betrayed? How do we truly forgive? When we seek Christ more than we seek revenge, He will unlock the prison door of bitterness. A life lived with bitterness is a life half lived. Jesus can put a heart back together when unforgiveness is ripping it apart. Begin by trusting Jesus to do what He says He will do. He will come through. Everyone comes with some kind of baggage. Some of us pack bitterness. Other’s negativity or perhaps anger. Jesus loves us enough to help us unpack. 

Here’s three simple ways you can begin the process:

Make a list of the bitterness that is causing you to struggle. Sit before Jesus and go over your list, pray and ask God to help you release the bitter events and hurts. Tear up the list as a symbol of letting go and allow God to help you heal from the very thing that caused you to be broken-hearted. About the Author

Tammy Whitehurst is a full-time speaker encouraging audiences to live life kicked up a notch. Her contagious joy will capture your heart. She is a former middle school teacher who struggles like the rest of us with life, cellulite, junk drawers, and wrinkles. Connect with her at TammyWhitehurst.com.

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7 Ideas to Teach Your Kids to Eat Healthy

Most kids probably don’t know that God created over 100 vegetables and 50 fruits. Neither has most children eaten all of those produce items? One summer my kids and I picked out new produce items each week. It was a lot of fun tasting items we had never eaten before. I find it interesting that God created twice as many vegetables as fruit. God knew what we needed to eat. I think of vegetables as God’s staple and fruits as his dessert. How do we get our kids to eat healthy foods? Here are some ideas to try:

1. When you go to the grocery store, have your youngster choose one new fruit and vegetable for the family to try. If your kid picks out the item, they will more likely want to try it. If you have a couple of kids, let one choose a vegetable and the other a fruit. Then switch the following week.

2. Create a scavenger hunt for your kids in the produce section of the grocery store. Simply ask them to find the colors for each vegetable and fruit. My new picture book, Eat God’s Food, provides a list of vegetables that they are supposed to draw and a list of fruits that needs color identification for each fruit.

3. While grocery shopping, ask your kids to choose their favorite nuts, seeds, and dried fruit. When you get home, create snack bags that include their favorite items. Measure a scoop in each bag and place them in your pantry. These snacks are perfect to take with your kids for their athletic events.

4. Show your child how to read a food label. When my kids picked out a grocery store item, I asked them to check to see how many grams of sugar it contained. They knew we couldn’t buy anything with over 10 grams of sugar. So they kept checking food labels until they found one that was close to that amount. Manufacturers seem to add sugar to many foods. So checking labels really helps you lower your sugar consumption. Lower sugar results in better behavior. There is a section, Eat God’s Food, teaching them to read food labels and identify unwanted ingredients.  

5. Teach your kids about the health benefits of consuming fruits, vegetables, whole grains, seeds, nuts, and meat. Along with your child, figure out the vitamins in these foods. Together, determine what fruit or vegetable item might improve their vision or give them more energy. Identify items that may agitate your child (ones that include added sugar, monosodium gluconate (MSG), artificial sweeteners, and colors). Limit their consumption of these foods.

6. Explain to your kids that products made from white flour have been stripped of their nutrients. These foods may cause a child to grow wider instead of taller. Explain how food manufacturers have to choose between doing what’s profitable versus beneficial for the consumer. Adding sugar, salt, and fat to foods gets us hooked, so we buy more.

7. Each week cook something with your children. My book, Eat God’s Food, provides recipes to create with your kid for the following food groups: grains, vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds, and meat.

In addition, limit your child’s consumption of oat-based cereals because they contain a residue from the carcinogen, glyphosate. Glyphosate is used as an herbicide that is sprayed on the following genetically modified crops: oats, wheat, corn, and soy. The Environmental Working Group (EWG) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to protecting human health and the environment. Since the federal government does not monitor the amount of glyphosate residue on produce, the Environmental Working Group checked. This article lists the level of glyphosate found in your child’s favorite cereal. I recommend purchasing organic products if they are made from corn, oats, wheat, or soy.

Expand your child’s knowledge base and point of view about foods. Help them to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy foods. Wouldn’t it be fun if they grabbed a grocery store product, read the label, and told you why it was not healthy? Together, select interesting vegetables and fruits from the produce section. Awaken you and your child’s viewpoint regarding the vastness of the foods that God created for us to enjoy. 

Author Bio:

Susan Neal RN, MBA, MHS teaches both children and adults about healthy nutritional guidelines. She lives out what she teaches. Susan loves to share with others what she’s learned about health. Now she wants to educate children about developing wholesome eating habits. She is the author of eight healthy living books, including her two newest publications Eat God’s Food and Solving the Gluten Puzzle.

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