Elizabeth Miceli's Blog, page 3
June 16, 2015
Unreal
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be Cinderella. Who wouldn't want to be her? She's beautiful, has an amazing singing voice and falls in love with a prince. At 5, that sounded like the perfect life.
As I got older, and realized that I would never be a princess, I decided that I wanted to be a singer. Singing made me happy so I figured that would be the perfect job. And then, after countless competitions and sleepless nights, I realized that singing no longer made me happy- so I went onto something else.
After changing my mind fifty thousand times (I'm not exaggerating), I decided that I wanted to be a therapist. I had always helped people, enjoyed that and knew that I would feel fulfilled if I chose that career.
On the back-burner I was always writing. I was singing on the side, taking classes in Psych and Human Development and at night, I was writing my novels. Writing calmed me a way that singing and psych never could. When I was typing away on my Mac, I suddenly felt at peace.
That being said, I never thought that it would be anything more than a hobby.
I knew that getting my books published was an option- but I thought it was an unattainable goal. I was more likely to become a Disney princess than to get my books published! That happened to people who were trained and definitely not for little girls in Rhode Island. There were so many reasons that I thought it wouldn't work out for me. I almost convinced myself that it wouldn't work out because I didn't want to be disappointed. Never in a million years did I think that a publisher would take my work.
So now that I am announcing that TWO of my novels are getting published, it all seems very unreal.
I am 19 years old. I am from Rhode Island, the smallest state. I am a college sophomore. I am the girl next door. And yet, all of these amazing things are happening to me.
Pinch me. Please. Because I'm pretty sure I'm in a dream and in a few hours someone will be waking me up.
As I got older, and realized that I would never be a princess, I decided that I wanted to be a singer. Singing made me happy so I figured that would be the perfect job. And then, after countless competitions and sleepless nights, I realized that singing no longer made me happy- so I went onto something else.
After changing my mind fifty thousand times (I'm not exaggerating), I decided that I wanted to be a therapist. I had always helped people, enjoyed that and knew that I would feel fulfilled if I chose that career.
On the back-burner I was always writing. I was singing on the side, taking classes in Psych and Human Development and at night, I was writing my novels. Writing calmed me a way that singing and psych never could. When I was typing away on my Mac, I suddenly felt at peace.
That being said, I never thought that it would be anything more than a hobby.
I knew that getting my books published was an option- but I thought it was an unattainable goal. I was more likely to become a Disney princess than to get my books published! That happened to people who were trained and definitely not for little girls in Rhode Island. There were so many reasons that I thought it wouldn't work out for me. I almost convinced myself that it wouldn't work out because I didn't want to be disappointed. Never in a million years did I think that a publisher would take my work.
So now that I am announcing that TWO of my novels are getting published, it all seems very unreal.
I am 19 years old. I am from Rhode Island, the smallest state. I am a college sophomore. I am the girl next door. And yet, all of these amazing things are happening to me.
Pinch me. Please. Because I'm pretty sure I'm in a dream and in a few hours someone will be waking me up.
May 21, 2015
Let The Games Begin
Anyone that has ever read my author page, seen my FB posts, or had a conversation with me knows that I have a lot on my plate. But, that being said- I always find time for meeting guys and dating.
Honestly, since my last real boyfriend I haven't been excited about guys. Sure, I meet up with them, I text guys on Tinder, and I definitely have been on some good first dates- but I'm looking for the spark.
I went on a date a while ago that gave me that- that spark. I could barely breathe, I was full on sweating in his car, and I spent most of the date envisioning his lips on mine. And honestly- it was amazing. It was so exciting to feel that way again. For the first time in a long time, I had hope for the future. I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this guy could actually mean something to me in my life. There was possibility.
Of course, I called one of my girlfriends and gabbed about my spot-on first date. When I told her that I had texted him first after the date- she shrieked- as if it was the worst decision I'd ever made.
"You can't do that! He's going to think you're the one that cares more!"
According to her, and everyone that has ever dated, there are rules about dating. Rules that apparently I should follow.
Here are the rules (that I failed to use):
1) Don't call him first
2) Don't text him first
3) If you do text him first- wait for him to double text you before you respond
4) When he does respond to you - wait 24 hours before responding
5) Do not say anything close to "I had fun," "I want to see you again," or "You're the sweetest guy!" Even worse- never say all three in one text.
Once I had deciphered these rules, I realized just how much of a game dating had become.
I was waiting by the phone, quite literally- and yet I was supposed to act like I didn't give a shit. I was supposed to be rude, make him think I didn't like him, and more-over I had to play games. According to everyone I knew, that was the way to win his heart.
When I had gotten home the other night from my date- I was excited. So, I wanted to text him. I wanted to tell him how much fun I had and that I wanted to see him again. Does that make me crazy? Needy? Annoying? Personally, I think that makes me REAL.
So, I did just that. I texted him FIRST (gasp.) And, as if my friends had basically planned this- he didn't respond. I was up for hours, unsure of how I was feeling now, second guessing my outfit choices, and laying in my bed like "WTF Happened?!"
And that's when I realized something.
HE was following the rules. He was without a doubt, trying to act like he didn't care. And if he was playing those games with me- he clearly wasn't the guy for me. If I had to follow five rules to get his attention, why in God's name would I want to be with this guy in the first place?
So, I'm making rules for myself.
1) I'll text, call, double text, and say exactly what I'm feeling whenever I damn-well please.
2) I will not wait by the phone for guys I know will NEVER call me
3) I will not play games
Ladies and Gents- I urge you to do the same. Yes, the rules work- because he's still on my mind. But, what kind of a person wants them to work? Someone who clearly has no respect for you.
Honestly, since my last real boyfriend I haven't been excited about guys. Sure, I meet up with them, I text guys on Tinder, and I definitely have been on some good first dates- but I'm looking for the spark.
I went on a date a while ago that gave me that- that spark. I could barely breathe, I was full on sweating in his car, and I spent most of the date envisioning his lips on mine. And honestly- it was amazing. It was so exciting to feel that way again. For the first time in a long time, I had hope for the future. I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this guy could actually mean something to me in my life. There was possibility.
Of course, I called one of my girlfriends and gabbed about my spot-on first date. When I told her that I had texted him first after the date- she shrieked- as if it was the worst decision I'd ever made.
"You can't do that! He's going to think you're the one that cares more!"
According to her, and everyone that has ever dated, there are rules about dating. Rules that apparently I should follow.
Here are the rules (that I failed to use):
1) Don't call him first
2) Don't text him first
3) If you do text him first- wait for him to double text you before you respond
4) When he does respond to you - wait 24 hours before responding
5) Do not say anything close to "I had fun," "I want to see you again," or "You're the sweetest guy!" Even worse- never say all three in one text.
Once I had deciphered these rules, I realized just how much of a game dating had become.
I was waiting by the phone, quite literally- and yet I was supposed to act like I didn't give a shit. I was supposed to be rude, make him think I didn't like him, and more-over I had to play games. According to everyone I knew, that was the way to win his heart.
When I had gotten home the other night from my date- I was excited. So, I wanted to text him. I wanted to tell him how much fun I had and that I wanted to see him again. Does that make me crazy? Needy? Annoying? Personally, I think that makes me REAL.
So, I did just that. I texted him FIRST (gasp.) And, as if my friends had basically planned this- he didn't respond. I was up for hours, unsure of how I was feeling now, second guessing my outfit choices, and laying in my bed like "WTF Happened?!"
And that's when I realized something.
HE was following the rules. He was without a doubt, trying to act like he didn't care. And if he was playing those games with me- he clearly wasn't the guy for me. If I had to follow five rules to get his attention, why in God's name would I want to be with this guy in the first place?
So, I'm making rules for myself.
1) I'll text, call, double text, and say exactly what I'm feeling whenever I damn-well please.
2) I will not wait by the phone for guys I know will NEVER call me
3) I will not play games
Ladies and Gents- I urge you to do the same. Yes, the rules work- because he's still on my mind. But, what kind of a person wants them to work? Someone who clearly has no respect for you.
May 2, 2015
Taking Chances
I recently watched a movie called Charlie St. Cloud (probably because Zac Efron is the main character.)
In the movie, there is a quote that is brought up throughout.
The poem is:
"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."
It's by E.E. Cummings.
This quote, as said repeatedly in the movie, is about taking chances.
When I heard it- I started to think about the chances that I take and why I take them.
When my cover was revealed for my novel, and more people started to read my excerpt on Goodreads, I was so unbelievably excited. But, I was also overcome with anxiety. As my Twitter flooded with tweets from blogs, I couldn't help but cry. It was the best day of my life, no doubt about that, but I was also very, very nervous about what was to come.
When my cover was revealed this all became REAL.
I realized that everyone I have ever known would be reading MY BABY in a few short months. And, the thought came to mind, what if they don't like it?
Of course, I went into my mother's room, and explained my anxiety. My mother has told me from the very beginning that what I'm handling right now is very "adult" and it is long beyond my years. The reality is most 19-year-olds do not get their novels published. So this is uncharted territory, especially for our family.
After reminding me of this, my mother then said, "for every person who doesn't like it, I'm sure there will be one person who does." At the time, I brushed the comment off, wishing she had better advice to calm me down.
But now, when I think about it, I understand what she was trying to say.
My novel is raw. My novel has very intense themes- and it is not for the faint-hearted. But, that's what I love about it! My novel takes chances.
So, as my mother said- there will definitely be some people that don't understand it or believe in it. But, there may be some who do- that read it and connect with it.
Yes, I'm taking a risk.
I put my heart and soul into this novel- and it may get great reviews, and it may not. It may work out, it may not. Maybe I'll be a bestseller, maybe I won't.
I'm sure as my release date gets closer, I will get more and more anxious about the unknown. That's expected at this point. But, either way, I'll know that I put myself out there. And that's enough for me.
In the movie, there is a quote that is brought up throughout.
The poem is:
"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."
It's by E.E. Cummings.
This quote, as said repeatedly in the movie, is about taking chances.
When I heard it- I started to think about the chances that I take and why I take them.
When my cover was revealed for my novel, and more people started to read my excerpt on Goodreads, I was so unbelievably excited. But, I was also overcome with anxiety. As my Twitter flooded with tweets from blogs, I couldn't help but cry. It was the best day of my life, no doubt about that, but I was also very, very nervous about what was to come.
When my cover was revealed this all became REAL.
I realized that everyone I have ever known would be reading MY BABY in a few short months. And, the thought came to mind, what if they don't like it?
Of course, I went into my mother's room, and explained my anxiety. My mother has told me from the very beginning that what I'm handling right now is very "adult" and it is long beyond my years. The reality is most 19-year-olds do not get their novels published. So this is uncharted territory, especially for our family.
After reminding me of this, my mother then said, "for every person who doesn't like it, I'm sure there will be one person who does." At the time, I brushed the comment off, wishing she had better advice to calm me down.
But now, when I think about it, I understand what she was trying to say.
My novel is raw. My novel has very intense themes- and it is not for the faint-hearted. But, that's what I love about it! My novel takes chances.
So, as my mother said- there will definitely be some people that don't understand it or believe in it. But, there may be some who do- that read it and connect with it.
Yes, I'm taking a risk.
I put my heart and soul into this novel- and it may get great reviews, and it may not. It may work out, it may not. Maybe I'll be a bestseller, maybe I won't.
I'm sure as my release date gets closer, I will get more and more anxious about the unknown. That's expected at this point. But, either way, I'll know that I put myself out there. And that's enough for me.
April 22, 2015
Judge My Book By It's Cover... I Dare You
It's no secret that my novel is pretty intense. When anyone (no matter how liberal the person is) reads my excerpt on Goodreads- I consistently get the same reaction.
"Whoa. That's so intense and raw."
The main themes in my novel involve mental illness, sexual trauma, eating disorders, self harm, casual sex, and overall low self esteem.
It's real. No lies, no bullshit. It's honest about what really goes on in the female mind.
When I thought about the cover I wanted- I knew that it had to give that same feeling that the excerpt gave. It had to push boundaries. It had to tell people right away that I was not going to shy away from the harsh subjects.
When I first saw my cover, I couldn't believe how spot on it was. From one picture- you could feel what Stacey feels. You know right away that she has issues that she needs to work through.
On Friday, April 24th, my cover will be released. I can't wait for you guys to see it and to hear your reactions! I hope that you are as obsessed as I am.
Once the cover is revealed- we are well on our way to the book release! I am so ready for this wild ride to begin. Are you?!
"Whoa. That's so intense and raw."
The main themes in my novel involve mental illness, sexual trauma, eating disorders, self harm, casual sex, and overall low self esteem.
It's real. No lies, no bullshit. It's honest about what really goes on in the female mind.
When I thought about the cover I wanted- I knew that it had to give that same feeling that the excerpt gave. It had to push boundaries. It had to tell people right away that I was not going to shy away from the harsh subjects.
When I first saw my cover, I couldn't believe how spot on it was. From one picture- you could feel what Stacey feels. You know right away that she has issues that she needs to work through.
On Friday, April 24th, my cover will be released. I can't wait for you guys to see it and to hear your reactions! I hope that you are as obsessed as I am.
Once the cover is revealed- we are well on our way to the book release! I am so ready for this wild ride to begin. Are you?!
April 6, 2015
Writer's Block
When I get bored in class (which is often), I always end up taking out a pen and a notebook. In class, when a professor is droning on and on and on (AND ON) about the importance of prenatal development, what a factorial is, and my personal favorite- how death is a right of passage... I can't help but go to my happy place and take a break.
It turns out: in times like this, I always get my best ideas.
About 6 months ago- I was looking through one of my notebooks (which was technically supposed to be for my Animal Veterinary Science class)... and found a Chapter 1.
A chapter about a young girl who is pregnant and loses the baby.
When I found this chapter, I was supposed to be writing a paper. But, considering that I know what my priorities are (cough, cough)... I put the paper aside and I started writing.
Immediately, I felt connected to these characters. I couldn't wait to sit down at my desk and start pouring out all of my thoughts.
Brandon and Layla became my new favorites (I say that about all my characters LOL), and I couldn't stop writing. I cancelled on plans often- needing to spend my time working on my book.
And then, one day- it seemed as though my creativity dried out.
I desperately tried to continue: every day I'd sit at my computer and stare at Microsoft Word. I read a couple of the chapters to get motivated, I tried to read others novels as well, and I did a bunch of research on the topics in the novel. But, nothing worked.
I am 28,000+ words in and I can't seem to put another thought onto the blank page.
This has happened before of course- often actually. It's happened with every single one of my novels... and all around the exact same time. I would be on a roll and right when I get to the climax, I hit a dry spell.
IT. SUCKS.
Every single article I read about road blocks tells you to let them pass, take breaks, focus on something else. But, I'm starting to get inpatient.
I want that fire back- that constant push to write. That's what I love about it! I love thinking about your characters so much that you start doing things that they do, I love having dreams about them because they're the last thing on your mind before you go to bed, and more than anything- I love having characters that seem to write themselves. The story flows naturally. It doesn't feel like work; it feels therapeutic.
I have no idea what else I can do. But, right now I'm leaning toward just riding it out.
I have a feeling that in a few short weeks, when I'm a lot less tired, I will get that fire back. And it'll be well worth the wait.
It turns out: in times like this, I always get my best ideas.
About 6 months ago- I was looking through one of my notebooks (which was technically supposed to be for my Animal Veterinary Science class)... and found a Chapter 1.
A chapter about a young girl who is pregnant and loses the baby.
When I found this chapter, I was supposed to be writing a paper. But, considering that I know what my priorities are (cough, cough)... I put the paper aside and I started writing.
Immediately, I felt connected to these characters. I couldn't wait to sit down at my desk and start pouring out all of my thoughts.
Brandon and Layla became my new favorites (I say that about all my characters LOL), and I couldn't stop writing. I cancelled on plans often- needing to spend my time working on my book.
And then, one day- it seemed as though my creativity dried out.
I desperately tried to continue: every day I'd sit at my computer and stare at Microsoft Word. I read a couple of the chapters to get motivated, I tried to read others novels as well, and I did a bunch of research on the topics in the novel. But, nothing worked.
I am 28,000+ words in and I can't seem to put another thought onto the blank page.
This has happened before of course- often actually. It's happened with every single one of my novels... and all around the exact same time. I would be on a roll and right when I get to the climax, I hit a dry spell.
IT. SUCKS.
Every single article I read about road blocks tells you to let them pass, take breaks, focus on something else. But, I'm starting to get inpatient.
I want that fire back- that constant push to write. That's what I love about it! I love thinking about your characters so much that you start doing things that they do, I love having dreams about them because they're the last thing on your mind before you go to bed, and more than anything- I love having characters that seem to write themselves. The story flows naturally. It doesn't feel like work; it feels therapeutic.
I have no idea what else I can do. But, right now I'm leaning toward just riding it out.
I have a feeling that in a few short weeks, when I'm a lot less tired, I will get that fire back. And it'll be well worth the wait.
March 30, 2015
Scared of the Fall
Men are consistently looked at as the braver gender- the gender that kills spiders, checks the basement at 2 in the morning when girls hear noises, and the gender that are more likely to head off to war.
Today, while thinking about the boys I talk to (and totally waste my time with)... I wondered, whose the really "scaredy-cat" when it comes to love?
Sure, if I watch The Conjuring, you know that my nails will be digging deep into the arms of whichever guy I went to see it with.
But, in the matters of the heart- I am never scared. I go with my gut, I'm brutally honest with guys, and I never hold back.
Now, (most) guys have absolutely no problem with scary movies, and yet right when the topic of commitment gets brought into conversation- they are IMMEDIATELY digging their heels in.
So, I started to wonder why that was. Why are men afraid of something real?
My initial answer was something along the lines of "Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".
My second instinct was... guys are afraid of letting down that layer for one reason and one reason only: they don't want to look weak.
They don't want to get hurt.
Men are told not to cry, to protect us girls, and to always stay strong- and love can very easily tear them down.
The thing that men aren't realizing (especially college guys) is that we are just as vulnerable. It's called "falling in love" for a reason- because you are supposed to be caught.
And, speaking on behalf on the female population- I think that most women would love to catch their men. To really help them to let their guards down. To understand them completely.
So boys- maybe physically you're stronger, but emotionally it's definitely time to take some pointers from the girls. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to get your heart broken. And it's okay to cry over your ex.
There's no weakness in opening up, being emotional. It'll only make you stronger- and maybe even Braver.
Today, while thinking about the boys I talk to (and totally waste my time with)... I wondered, whose the really "scaredy-cat" when it comes to love?
Sure, if I watch The Conjuring, you know that my nails will be digging deep into the arms of whichever guy I went to see it with.
But, in the matters of the heart- I am never scared. I go with my gut, I'm brutally honest with guys, and I never hold back.
Now, (most) guys have absolutely no problem with scary movies, and yet right when the topic of commitment gets brought into conversation- they are IMMEDIATELY digging their heels in.
So, I started to wonder why that was. Why are men afraid of something real?
My initial answer was something along the lines of "Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".
My second instinct was... guys are afraid of letting down that layer for one reason and one reason only: they don't want to look weak.
They don't want to get hurt.
Men are told not to cry, to protect us girls, and to always stay strong- and love can very easily tear them down.
The thing that men aren't realizing (especially college guys) is that we are just as vulnerable. It's called "falling in love" for a reason- because you are supposed to be caught.
And, speaking on behalf on the female population- I think that most women would love to catch their men. To really help them to let their guards down. To understand them completely.
So boys- maybe physically you're stronger, but emotionally it's definitely time to take some pointers from the girls. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to get your heart broken. And it's okay to cry over your ex.
There's no weakness in opening up, being emotional. It'll only make you stronger- and maybe even Braver.
March 22, 2015
Waiting By The Phone
So, I have this friend. This friend that goes out with guys who tell her that they're not up for anything serious- and she desperately tries to fabricate this guy (probably because he's so insanely attractive) into a person that would eventually want to settle down.
When I gave her advice, after he failed to text or call her, I found myself saying- "What a D***!" and not saying "Babe, stop going out with that kind of guy."
And then today, as I waited patiently by the phone for a guy who I knew would never call- I sat back and realized that this is a generation of guys who are master manipulators- and us girls are LETTING it happen.
As a result of my AHA Moment- There are three phrases that I want to fill you girls in on. Because, I thought they meant different things.
EXHIBIT A:
"You know, I just broke up with my girlfriend. I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship right now, baby. I would love to hang out, see how things go, and maybe later on I'd be ready for a relationship."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: YOU'RE A REBOUND. He's going to try to get in your pants, and ditch you as soon as you let him.
EXHIBIT B:
"You know, I have a really big day tomorrow. You might not hear from me for a while cause I have a busy week coming up."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: He's not gonna text you for a week- and probably continue to talk to the blonde bombshell he met in one of his classes. And you know that he's still swiping right on Tinder. He'll probably text you eventually- but you know for damn sure that you're not his first choice.
ABORT MISSION. ABORT.
EXHIBIT C:
"Your working on an erotica novel? You must know a whole lot about sex..."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: He is a jerk. And probably a misogynist.
To be completely honest with all of you- I am the most hopeless romantic of all time. I write romance, I want to be a sex therapist/marriage counselor, and I am the relationship guru for all my friends...
That being said- there's a lot that I'm still learning. I meet new guys all the time- and they are constantly teaching me lessons. When guys would say things to me (Exhibit A, B and C) that made me question them- I desperately wanted to believe them.
I want the guy I'm dating to be honest. So, yes- I make up a story about why he hasn't called (maybe he lost his phone?!) And sometimes, I even try and convince myself that he really loves me. (Well, he did buy me flowers that one time....)
Is that crazy of me? To be an eternal optimist? To desperately hope that there's one guy whose actually telling the truth?!
I could probably be a little more realistic about guys. But, that being said- I can never say that I didn't try. Every day, I am trying. Trying to find the right guy.
If I end up single a year from now- no one can ever say that I didn't put in effort. (You all know I did.)
So, all you single girls out there who are waiting by the phone- it's only a matter of time.
He's out there somewhere, right?
When I gave her advice, after he failed to text or call her, I found myself saying- "What a D***!" and not saying "Babe, stop going out with that kind of guy."
And then today, as I waited patiently by the phone for a guy who I knew would never call- I sat back and realized that this is a generation of guys who are master manipulators- and us girls are LETTING it happen.
As a result of my AHA Moment- There are three phrases that I want to fill you girls in on. Because, I thought they meant different things.
EXHIBIT A:
"You know, I just broke up with my girlfriend. I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship right now, baby. I would love to hang out, see how things go, and maybe later on I'd be ready for a relationship."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: YOU'RE A REBOUND. He's going to try to get in your pants, and ditch you as soon as you let him.
EXHIBIT B:
"You know, I have a really big day tomorrow. You might not hear from me for a while cause I have a busy week coming up."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: He's not gonna text you for a week- and probably continue to talk to the blonde bombshell he met in one of his classes. And you know that he's still swiping right on Tinder. He'll probably text you eventually- but you know for damn sure that you're not his first choice.
ABORT MISSION. ABORT.
EXHIBIT C:
"Your working on an erotica novel? You must know a whole lot about sex..."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: He is a jerk. And probably a misogynist.
To be completely honest with all of you- I am the most hopeless romantic of all time. I write romance, I want to be a sex therapist/marriage counselor, and I am the relationship guru for all my friends...
That being said- there's a lot that I'm still learning. I meet new guys all the time- and they are constantly teaching me lessons. When guys would say things to me (Exhibit A, B and C) that made me question them- I desperately wanted to believe them.
I want the guy I'm dating to be honest. So, yes- I make up a story about why he hasn't called (maybe he lost his phone?!) And sometimes, I even try and convince myself that he really loves me. (Well, he did buy me flowers that one time....)
Is that crazy of me? To be an eternal optimist? To desperately hope that there's one guy whose actually telling the truth?!
I could probably be a little more realistic about guys. But, that being said- I can never say that I didn't try. Every day, I am trying. Trying to find the right guy.
If I end up single a year from now- no one can ever say that I didn't put in effort. (You all know I did.)
So, all you single girls out there who are waiting by the phone- it's only a matter of time.
He's out there somewhere, right?
March 18, 2015
My Publishing Process
Last summer was one of the most intense summers of my life. Why? Because my goal wasn't to sit by the pool and tan. My goal was to find an agent, find a publisher, and get Barren published.
I spent every waking second of my time doing one of two things: sending out query letters to agents and publishers and writing books.
I wrote the better part of two novels last summer. These two novels are just as near and dear to my heart as Barren is. The first novel I started working on was Barren's sequel- which I'm hoping really brings Stacey's story to a close. The second novel I wrote was "Lovers and Friends" (it's obviously a love story.)
But, writing two novels was much easier for me then sending out query letters.
Writing a letter may not seem like much- but when this one page letter has to define your whole novel and yourself as an author- it can be an uphill battle.
Once the letter is done (and you finish doing your happy dance), then it's time to turn to everybody's best friend: GOOGLE. And you search far and wide for agents or publishers that are willing to take on an un-agented author. You get about a billion hits. When you go through all of the agents and publishers and send out your letters- you are left to wait.
This is the most grueling time of all. You can't sleep, you are constantly refreshing your email, and with this much anxiety- you could drop into the ugly cry at any time.
And then, something crazy happens- and one of your emails doesn't say "thanks but no thanks"- it says... "please send your full manuscript."
When you get that email, you definitely cry. HARD. You start going to Barnes and Noble a little too often, and you envision your book on the shelves.
But then, three weeks later- you get the horrible news. They didn't think your novel was suitable for their company. And again, you definitely cry. HARD. You go to the store, buy some ice cream, eat the whole carton... and you start over.
You continue to send out letters. And finally, your asked for your full manuscript again.
And this time: despite all of the odds- you are chosen. Chosen to be an author.
When I got my publication email- I freaked out (to say the least.) I was at the movies with a few of my friends. And, just like I always did, I refreshed my email.
I opened the email expecting to be dissapointed. Just like I was about 50 other times. But this time, I wasn't. A publisher had read my story and actually got it.
So yes- the publishing process is GRUELING. There's a lot of hard work, dedication, and waiting involved. But, that being said, it was all worth it.
I spent every waking second of my time doing one of two things: sending out query letters to agents and publishers and writing books.
I wrote the better part of two novels last summer. These two novels are just as near and dear to my heart as Barren is. The first novel I started working on was Barren's sequel- which I'm hoping really brings Stacey's story to a close. The second novel I wrote was "Lovers and Friends" (it's obviously a love story.)
But, writing two novels was much easier for me then sending out query letters.
Writing a letter may not seem like much- but when this one page letter has to define your whole novel and yourself as an author- it can be an uphill battle.
Once the letter is done (and you finish doing your happy dance), then it's time to turn to everybody's best friend: GOOGLE. And you search far and wide for agents or publishers that are willing to take on an un-agented author. You get about a billion hits. When you go through all of the agents and publishers and send out your letters- you are left to wait.
This is the most grueling time of all. You can't sleep, you are constantly refreshing your email, and with this much anxiety- you could drop into the ugly cry at any time.
And then, something crazy happens- and one of your emails doesn't say "thanks but no thanks"- it says... "please send your full manuscript."
When you get that email, you definitely cry. HARD. You start going to Barnes and Noble a little too often, and you envision your book on the shelves.
But then, three weeks later- you get the horrible news. They didn't think your novel was suitable for their company. And again, you definitely cry. HARD. You go to the store, buy some ice cream, eat the whole carton... and you start over.
You continue to send out letters. And finally, your asked for your full manuscript again.
And this time: despite all of the odds- you are chosen. Chosen to be an author.
When I got my publication email- I freaked out (to say the least.) I was at the movies with a few of my friends. And, just like I always did, I refreshed my email.
I opened the email expecting to be dissapointed. Just like I was about 50 other times. But this time, I wasn't. A publisher had read my story and actually got it.
So yes- the publishing process is GRUELING. There's a lot of hard work, dedication, and waiting involved. But, that being said, it was all worth it.
March 11, 2015
Grieving
After falling on the 28th of January, my 91-year-old grandmother passed away just yesterday. Every second without her in this world has been devastating. Since her getting sick and now passing... I have been been thinking about some things. The things that go unsaid about grieving when you don't have a man to hold your hand, and you are still in the dating market.
My first FACT is the most annoying (because of how dumb it is.)
It turns out there are two types of ex-boyfriends:
1) The guys who text/call you after your grandma passes away
2) The guys who don't
The boys that didn't reach out ALWAYS find the time to call me when they're intoxicated. And yet, in my time of need, they can't find the 5 seconds to shoot a text. Now, am I surprised by their stupidity? The answer is hell-to-the-NO. These boys were broken up with for a reason- and that has really shined through the past few days. Everyone and their sister has found the time to text me, but guys I used to say "I love you" to did not.
While talking to a couple friends about grieving- I realized that many women feel this need to be comforted by a man while grieving. Is that an innate thing that women need- or is that something we've learned from our environment? When family members died, we watched our fathers hold our mothers, our uncles hold our aunts, and our grandfathers hold our grandmothers. Maybe that's something that women expect from men as a result.
That being said, I'm pretty sure if there was a guy at my side at this time, (and if every guy I really wanted to call me did), I still wouldn't be okay. How could I be? She was everything to our family. The glue that held us all together.
The reality is grieving for someone that you loved is hard- whether you have a man wiping away your tears or not.
But, that being said- it does make me realize what I want, what I deserve, and what I need. My grandmother had a loving man by her side for most of her life- and that is the kind of connection I will be looking for and one day finding. A man that my grandmother would approve of 100%.
I'm gonna end my post with my favorite quote. It's by the band FM Static (and is used in my novel, Barren.) The lyrics are:
"And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you
Tonight"
Love,
Liz
My first FACT is the most annoying (because of how dumb it is.)
It turns out there are two types of ex-boyfriends:
1) The guys who text/call you after your grandma passes away
2) The guys who don't
The boys that didn't reach out ALWAYS find the time to call me when they're intoxicated. And yet, in my time of need, they can't find the 5 seconds to shoot a text. Now, am I surprised by their stupidity? The answer is hell-to-the-NO. These boys were broken up with for a reason- and that has really shined through the past few days. Everyone and their sister has found the time to text me, but guys I used to say "I love you" to did not.
While talking to a couple friends about grieving- I realized that many women feel this need to be comforted by a man while grieving. Is that an innate thing that women need- or is that something we've learned from our environment? When family members died, we watched our fathers hold our mothers, our uncles hold our aunts, and our grandfathers hold our grandmothers. Maybe that's something that women expect from men as a result.
That being said, I'm pretty sure if there was a guy at my side at this time, (and if every guy I really wanted to call me did), I still wouldn't be okay. How could I be? She was everything to our family. The glue that held us all together.
The reality is grieving for someone that you loved is hard- whether you have a man wiping away your tears or not.
But, that being said- it does make me realize what I want, what I deserve, and what I need. My grandmother had a loving man by her side for most of her life- and that is the kind of connection I will be looking for and one day finding. A man that my grandmother would approve of 100%.
I'm gonna end my post with my favorite quote. It's by the band FM Static (and is used in my novel, Barren.) The lyrics are:
"And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you
Tonight"
Love,
Liz
March 8, 2015
Midterms
When I think about midterms, and finals for that matter- I always get a little nervous. No matter how many semesters I've finished or how many A's I've gotten- I always seem to remember the times when I didn't do so well on a midterm exam.
Everyone and their sister has an opinion on midterms and college- because most of them have been-there-done-that! But, the advice I get is never what it should be. When I'm struggling in a class I always hear three phrases- "make sure you study hard","always do the study guide" and my personal favorite- "are you sure this is the right major for you?" As a result of all of THOSE opinions- I have a better one.
This is one exam on one day in your life.
Yes, the midterm exam you have tomorrow may seem like the only thing that matters... But in reality, five years from now, this test won't even be on your radar.
That being said, I'm not telling you not to study. That's definitely not me. (I'll be studying for exams all week!) But, I am saying that if you put in your best effort, and you don't come out on top- this is not the be-all-end-all of your college career.
Why? Because you're smart. You did your SATs, you wrote that boring essay, and you did your Common Apps and someone, somewhere thought you were smart enough to attend the college that you go to.
Remember that on your midterm exams. College may be hard right now, but you're going to figure it all out. You got into school. You studied 2 hours for a STATS test despite the fact that you're a Psych Major. You threw aside your anxiety and pushed through.
So, when you leave for your exam, questioning what you know, and scared out of your mind- remember that you got this. And if you don't got it- F that class! You'll do better next time.
Love,
L
P.S. If you come back from your midterm and you know you failed- follow the three step rule.
1) Call your best friend
2) Whine to your best friend about the horrible exam
3) Open a box of Oreos (Chips Ahoy work as well...)
I promise, you'll be just fine once you do that.
Everyone and their sister has an opinion on midterms and college- because most of them have been-there-done-that! But, the advice I get is never what it should be. When I'm struggling in a class I always hear three phrases- "make sure you study hard","always do the study guide" and my personal favorite- "are you sure this is the right major for you?" As a result of all of THOSE opinions- I have a better one.
This is one exam on one day in your life.
Yes, the midterm exam you have tomorrow may seem like the only thing that matters... But in reality, five years from now, this test won't even be on your radar.
That being said, I'm not telling you not to study. That's definitely not me. (I'll be studying for exams all week!) But, I am saying that if you put in your best effort, and you don't come out on top- this is not the be-all-end-all of your college career.
Why? Because you're smart. You did your SATs, you wrote that boring essay, and you did your Common Apps and someone, somewhere thought you were smart enough to attend the college that you go to.
Remember that on your midterm exams. College may be hard right now, but you're going to figure it all out. You got into school. You studied 2 hours for a STATS test despite the fact that you're a Psych Major. You threw aside your anxiety and pushed through.
So, when you leave for your exam, questioning what you know, and scared out of your mind- remember that you got this. And if you don't got it- F that class! You'll do better next time.
Love,
L
P.S. If you come back from your midterm and you know you failed- follow the three step rule.
1) Call your best friend
2) Whine to your best friend about the horrible exam
3) Open a box of Oreos (Chips Ahoy work as well...)
I promise, you'll be just fine once you do that.
