Shannon Ables's Blog, page 271

~SHOP the OUTFIT:

Turn on your JavaScript to view content

~View other Outfits of the Week here.

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 05, 2017 08:00

Julianne Hough’s Cozy Personal Sanctuary

Finished with rattan bistro chairs, a chaise lounge that beckons to be enjoyed with a throw and a book, as well as a soaking tub, dancer, judge and actor Julianne Hough’s Hollywood home was curated just for her. Not to impress Architectural Digest or the curious eyes of her fans (however, her calm, personal choices have drawn TSLL interest most indeed), but to provide what she needed: a place to be herself and truly relax.

With the help of architect Steve Wunderlich and interior designer Jake Arnold, in Better Homes & Garden‘s first issue of 2017, Hough’s home, shared with her fiancé Brooks Laich and as you most definitely noticed as I did as well, her two Cavalier King Charles pups, Lexi and Harley, is the cover star and for good reason. While you can be inspired by Hough regularly on her on blog Jules, heresimply taking this tour provides a respite and a beautiful reminder to create a living space that suits what you need in your life to bring you balance, peace and bring you to your best self. Enjoy the tour and learn more about her decor choices .

~a pic from Julianne Hough’s IG account, with Harley & Lexi~

~View more Decor Inspiration posts here in TSLL Archives.

~Decor images via Better Homes & Gardens

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 05, 2017 00:00

Why Not . . . Assume it Will Be Brilliant?

“Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely, and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it, to stand there trembling not moving, assuming the worst that can happen or we step forward into the unknown and assume it will be brilliant.” —Grey’s Anatomy, Cristina Yang’s last episode 2014

A new year has arrived, vacations and holidays are wrapping up and the everyday, regular routine awaits each of us to step back in line and do what needs to be done: pay the bills, go to the market, balance the budget and go to bed at a decent hour.

But what if the regular routine shifts? What if something has taken place that shifts what we’ve become accustomed to, and we must adapt? Even if the shift is something we want, but especially if it is something we do not, how do we, the future we are stepping into, adapt?

We do so by stepping forward with brilliant optimism and a reasoned understanding of life’s truth, a truth that is imperative that we understand to be so wildly powerful that to dismiss it is to toss away a simple key to a beautiful life.

If we’ve ever been disappointed or denied a wish or a dream, it can be understandable to see why we might want to slink back when change, especially the opportunity for good change is presented to us. But here’s why it is never a good idea.

What we look for we are more often to find. Now this doesn’t mean that simply because we assume, predict or look for something it will materialize, but because we’re so preoccupied looking for the worst, we never see the brilliance.

We never see the glimmer of blue sky peeking through the clouds. We never hear the compliments. We never savor the ease, the unexpected surprises and bountiful moments of unedited smiles.

However, if when change arrives, and we are left to choose how we will broach it, whether we shall embrace or shield ourselves, I encourage each of us to follow Cristina Yang’s lead as shared in the quote above (side note: Does anyone else miss Sandra Oh on Grey’s? Wow, miss her like the sun after a long winter), and step forward. Shift your mind to see the possibilities of amazingly wonderful scenarios and lap up any goodness you find.

Why? Believe it or not, when you shift, so too does your world. Even if ever so slightly, the odds tilt in your favor. It doesn’t mean it will always work out, but when you look and assume the positive, you begin to see more of the positive, you begin to model and radiate a more positive energy, and such energy is exactly what people want to be around.

Secondly, when you express confidence in the world, therefore people, more people are likely to maintain your reason for having said confidence. Again, you begin to cultivate what you wish to see. And lastly, when you assume it will be brilliant, how you speak, how you communicate becomes something others want to engage in, want to listen to and are drawn to.

Be courageous enough to hope that what you are stepping into will be brilliant. Be the brave soul who refuses to be pulled down by the cowards who don’t even dare to see all of the possibilities. Think of what they miss out on when you do eventually realize that the optimism pays off and the world you have the opportunity to call your own was only a dream in prior days.

So why not . . . assume it will brilliant? After all, it truly can be. But only . . . only if you believe it could be so.

~View more Why Not . . . ? inspirational posts here.

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 04, 2017 00:00

Playing with Denim

Denim. Denim skirts, jeans, and tops. A classic material that continues to be played with by designers, and even more so in recent seasons. A reader emailed me last month with a question about how to wear denim skirts that hit below the knee during the shoulder seasons, and it was fun to explore the possibilities.

From pairing with a fine-knit sweater and a camel coat, to wearing knee-high boots channeling the 70s, to donning stacked ankle wrapped sandals when a pedicure is begging to be revealed, there are a variety of different options. But maybe you don’t want to wear a denim skirt or just don’t have one in your closet at the moment? Mix up your denim jeans with different ideas for the top-half: a cashmere-blend stripe top tucked in and belted or a classic white blouse with a modernized bomber jacket perhaps? All of the inspiration is below. Enjoy perusing!

~View more TSLL Style Inspiration posts here.

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 03, 2017 00:00

Learn How to Love: 26 Ways to Love Fully

“It’s never too late to learn anything for which you have a potential . . . and the limitless potential of love within each person [is] eager to be recognized, waiting to be developed, yearning to grow . . . If you want to learn to love, then you must start the process of finding out what it is, what qualities make up a loving person and how these are developed. Each person has the potential for love. But potential is never realized without work. This does not mean pain. Love, especially, is learned best in wonder, in joy, in peace, in living.” —Leo Buscaglia, in Love: What Life is All About

Nurture or nature. Acquired or known. A natural or skilled.

There are some capabilities we each have that come more naturally to us: the ability to sing like a songbird or swim like a fish. This is not to say that practice and expert coaching won’t help, but in each of these instances, there is an innate ability that advances the individuals that apply themselves to such great lengths others may not reach.

On the flip-side, there are skills that anyone can learn if they choose to, and here is the good news. One of these skills is how to love.

We are not born knowing how to love well. We learn by observing those who raise us, observing the world we are born into and by what we read, view and absorb. The catch is not all of us are watching how to love well. Some of us will have a distorted view, some of us will be limited by what we see while others will observe healthy, kind, thoughtful ways of loving. While there are many wonderful ways to express love, there are essential components, and that is what we’ll be discussing today. And if as an adult you have come to discover the models you observed were not healthy, you can absolutely change and become a student again learning how to love well, and thereby enriching your life moving forward.

Life, a well-lived and savored life, is a life asking of each of us to acquire skills to be successful. As I mentioned yesterday in the first post of 2017, often those of us who make mistakes along the way as we travel through life are not trying to make mistakes or incapable of improving. Instead, we are doing what we were taught, what we know. We are less skilled. But we can absolutely improve.

Take a look at 26 ways you can learn to love well:

~A more detailed discussion is shared on today’s episode of the podcast, so be sure to download and take a listen for further explanation on each point.

1.Experiment with your own life

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” —Herbert Otto

2. Forever be a student

One cannot give what they do not possess. To give love you must possess love.

One cannot know what they do not study. To study love you must live in love.

One cannot appreciate what they do not recognize. To recognize love you must be receptive to love.

One cannot have doubt about that which they wish to trust. To trust love you must be convinced of love.

One cannot admit what they do not yield to. To yield to love you must be vulnerable to love.

One cannot live what they do not dedicate themselves to. To dedicate yourself to love you must be forever growing in love.

—Leo F. Bascaglia

3. Cultivate your own contentment

“When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love.”

4. Find, unearth, your true self

“Be able to love, heal and accept yourself, so you can then offer these gifts to others.”

Many times we seek out love in order to alleviate our own suffering, and the suffering is due to a conscious or unconscious refusal to take the time to get to know ourselves.

5. Be mindful

Coming to understand how to create moments of joy for yourself enables you to give that joy, thus the love, to others.

6. Be kind
7. Practice love

One must live love. Take action.

8. Stop objectifying love

Love is not a thing to possess. You already have it, love, within you, now you just need to tap into it, foster it, practice it and then live in love.

9. Build within yourself trust, self-respect and confidence
10. Become a good listener

Learn your partner’s “love language“.

“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them” and that begins with listening well. —Thich Nhat Hanh

11. Stop labeling

Stop making assumptions, stop jumping to conclusions. Let go of stereotypes about cultures, groups, etc.

12. Let go of being perfect, and just be human

“A base for love and the potential for growth in love is also present in each man. Love is then a process of ‘building upon’ what is already there. Love is never complete in any person. There is always room for growth.”

“If you know, accept and appreciate yourself and your uniqueness, you will permit others to do so. If you value and appreciate the discovery of yourself, you will encourage others to engage in self-discovery.”

13. Be vulnerable

“Man may know that only by being vulnerable can he truly offer and accept love.” —Leo Buscaglia

14. Open your palm

“And then, the lover, to learn and to change and to become, also needs freedom. Thoreau said a wonderful thing: ‘Birds never sing in caves.’ And neither do people. You’ve got to be free in order to learn.” —Leo Buscaglia

15. Let go of expectations, but have clear boundaries
16. Cease placing conditions

“Others can and will only give what they are able, not what you desire they give. When you cease placing conditions on your love you have taken a giant step toward learning to love.”

17. Be patient

“The human seeking love will find that love is patient. The lover knows that each person can enhance [their] knowledge of love and bring them closer to themselves . . . each person will grow at their own rate, in their own manner, at their own time, by way of their unique self. Therefore, it’s helpless to berate, judge, predict, demand or assume. Love must be patient. Love waits. This doesn’t mean that love sits passively forever, if necessary, for the person to grow. Love is active, not passive. It is continually engaged in the process of opening new doors and windows so that fresh ideas and questions can be admitted.”

18. Learn how to communicate well
19. Become an expert of understanding your own emotions
20. Meet your emotional and as well as your physical needs

“A human’s basic psychological needs are these. She requires to be seen, recognized, appreciated, heard, fondled, sexually satisfied. She must be allowed the freedom to choose her own way, to grow at her own rate and to make her own mistakes, to learn. She needs to accept himself and other human beings and be accepted by them. She desires to e an ‘I’ as well as a ‘we.’ She strives to grow into the unique individual that she is.”

21. Be present

“Love lives in the moment.”

22. Believe the world is good because it is
23. Help others reach their full potential

“As soon as the love relationship does not lead me to me, As soon as I, in a love relationship, do not lead the other person to themselves, this love, even if it seems to be the most secure and ecstatic attachment I have ever experienced, it is not true love.”

24. Create an everyday life to savor

“Another responsibility of love is to create joy. Joy is always an integral part of loving. There is joy in every act of live, no matter how menial or repetitive . . . you can make the day a chore; dull, nerve-wracking, frustrating, a waste of time. Or the same day can be taken on with energy, enthusiasm and a determination to make it one of the best days of your life, for yourself and those about you.”

25. Stand in your strength

“It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” —Leo Rosten

26. Become love

“For to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the dedicated, the knowledge of the scholar, and the fortitude of the certain.”

Shel Silverstein’s The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, the allegory of true love”

~Books mentioned in the episode:

~Love: What Life Is All About by Leo F. Buscaglia

~How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh

Petit Plaisir
~Books for Living by Will Schwalbe

author of the best-selling book The End of Your Life Book Club

Download the Episode

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 02, 2017 00:00

And 2017 Begins!

A new year, a new beginning, a new chance to do it better, to apply the lessons we’ve had the opportunity to learn in previous months and years.

Recently, an idea was shared with me about similar experiences and places: Why compare? Why not appreciate each as they are. And so as 2017 begins and 2016 is placed in the archives to reflect upon and remember for the joy it brought as well as the challenges it presented, why not see 2016 as the stepping stone to making 2017 even better than imagined?

“Think of our behavior in terms of being more or less skillful rather than in terms of good and bad.” —Thich Nhat Hanh in How to Love)

What lessons were presented to you to learn, or revealed to you that you needed to improve upon in the past year? The quote above is a gentle reminder that living well is a skill. It is something we learn how to do based on observing the proper models, practicing what we have learned and coming to fully understand why we are doing what we practice. Tomorrow’s first episode of the podcast in 2017 will dive deeply into a very particular and important skill to learn for an improved quality of living. But whether 2016 was a year for the record books for the goodness it brought or the frustration, why not reflect upon it as a map guiding you to where you can go successfully so long as you choose the improvements that need a bit of tuning up?

Here is another thought to ponder along the same vein,

“If we take good care of ourselves, we help everyone.” —Thich Nhat Hanh in How to Love

The goodness that you seek begins by tending to yourself. As I shared on Afternoon Live this past Friday (view the video here), what is it that you most want, but that because of a fear standing in the way, you haven’t taken that leap yet? Why not take the leap? Why not take that important risk? This is your life. This is your one and only life, and it is finite. While simply putting out into the universe what you desire will not guarantee it will materialize, it is far more likely to eventually become a reality at some point once you do.

A concept was recently introduced to me via a book I was given by my father called the Adjacent Possible. In other words “Each new combination opens up the possibility of other new combinations”. And to reframe for what we’re talking about today, each time you open new possibilities in your life, sharing with the world your truth, you open yourself up to new possibilities that were originally closed to you. In other words you are enabling what you seek to become more possible each time you take a step toward it.

Take a look at either image above. Both reveal clouds and glimmers of blue sky. Focus on the beautiful aesthetic that is cultivated as both are present. Unexpectedly there is a revelation, an awareness made known, that we must experience both struggle and celebration in order to move forward successfully. While we will want to focus on the items to celebrate (in this case the sun which I was moved to dance giddily about on the coast as it had unexpectedly shown itself yesterday morning during our walk), we do not want to forget to apply the lessons the clouds provide enabling us to move forward and become more skilled living our lives well.

So let’s make 2017 a year where we make the life we desire more capable of unfolding. Let’s begin to make the small changes, one at a time. Let’s change our minds to work for us, rather than against us. Let’s adopt behaviors that enrich us rather than break us down. Let’s be hopeful and take action, rather than worrisome and passive.

We cannot be guaranteed anything, but we can put the odds in our favor.

Bonne Année.

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 01, 2017 00:00

3 Ways to Make 2017 Your Year: Afternoon Live Appearance

One more day remains in 2016. Before we know it, we’ll be waking up to a new year and a new opportunity to refresh, press restart and cultivate even more of the life we wish to live each day.

As 2016 wraps up, KATU-TV in Portland invited me to share tips on how to make 2017 your best year ever. View the video to hear our discussion, and check out the list below.

1. Take one important risk

2. Break one bad habit

3. Set 3 Big Goals, No More

~View previous Afternoon Live appearances here.

View more on Shannon Ables's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on December 30, 2016 21:08

Top 5 ‘Letters from the Editor’ from the Weekly Newsletter

Each of our lives is full in its own way. Each of our lives has, if we have been consciously paying attention to what we need, what we wish to achieve and what type of relationships we hope to cultivate, has been designing a life that works and works well. Sometimes we will have to make tweaks along the way as we grow and gradually evolve into a better version of ourselves, outgrowing old ways and habits that no longer serve us. And because our lives need our full attention, we can’t always stop by our favorite online desitinations to find inspiration each day; however, if you are TSLL reader, you’re most likely looking for inspiration, for ideas, for motivation or tools to live your best life. I know not everyone can stop by the blog each day when a new post goes live and that is why I believe TSLL weekly newsletter has become so popular with readers.

Beginning just months after the blog itself began, every Friday, readers have been able to receive in their inboxes a newsletter that contains all of the past week’s posts, exclusive early head’s up to news, promotions, releases and events pertaining to the blog, as well as an extra dose of inspiration that is only (until now, as a glimpse) available to newsletter subscribers.

Today I have compiled glimpses from five ‘Letter from the Editor’s that appeared in the weekly newsletter over this past year. From time to time I receive emails or comments from readers who only stop by the blog or follow my social media feeds asking why I don’t share more of my personal life, and while I will never reveal all, I tend to share more in the weekly newsletters.

If you would like to make sure you do not miss another post from the blog, would like to receive an email that keeps all the posts in one place each week so that it is easy to find, peruse and enjoy, and would like an extra dose of inspiration to wrap up your week and kick off the weekend, subscribe here and scroll to “Weekly Newsletter“. It’s that simple.

5. Friday August 5, 2016, issue #312