AVIS Viswanathan's Blog, page 41
February 9, 2015
If it has gone, simply, let it go!
When something or someone goes out of your Life, simply let ‘em go! Understand that loss is an integral part of living!
Last evening, my phone fell down on the street, hit a kerbside stone, and the display screen cracked irreparably. I was shocked for a nano-second. Then I picked up the instrument to check if it was working. It was. I dusted it and moved on – after double-checking all its functions. I smiled to myself. Some years ago, I would never have been this way. I would have grieved and sulked. Especially, in a situation when replacing the phone instantly is not an option – I don’t have the means to buy a new phone! In fact, even this one was gifted to me by a friend some months ago. As I looked at my battered phone later in the evening, I remembered an incident that happened eight years ago. I am a collector of LAMY pens. And at that time, I was using one daily. I simply loved the look and feel of these pens. I was naturally very possessive about my LAMY collection. On a flight from Chennai to Mumbai, I lost my blue LAMY. I remember how I grieved through all my meetings that day in Mumbai and how I needed more than a few drinks that evening to get the blue LAMY out of my mind. In contrast, I felt good with myself surveying my phone last evening – with my ability to have let go of what had already gone (broke)!
There’s a beautiful song from the 1961 Tamil classic Paalum Pazhamum(A.Bhimsingh, Sivaji Ganesan, Saroja Devi) which goes “Ponaal Pogattum Poda…” (Viswanathan-Ramamoorthy, Kannadasan, T.M. Soundarajan). The lyrics basically mean, “If it has gone, let it go…everything/everyone is impermanent…)! That song, to me, sums up what Life is all about!
Indeed. Everything and everyone around us has to go one day. The very nature of Life is impermanent. If you pause for a moment to reflect, you will realize that you came with nothing and you will go with nothing. Your name, your wealth, your qualifications, your experiences, your memories, your relationships – nothing will make it with you. When it is your time, you will have to go. Period. This is one non-negotiable quality about Life. Then, if you care to reflect more, why do we cling on to almost everyone and everything? It is because we cling on, because we don’t let go, that we suffer. What happens to us is not in our control – whether it is a broken mobile phone or a broken relationship or the death of someone we love. But how we let things and people go, when it is time for them to go, out of our lives, can truly impact how we feel about and experience Life. If you resist what’s going or gone, you will find Life to be an endless struggle. But if you let go gracefully, you will be drenched in inner peace and happiness – no matter what the circumstances are!
Last evening, my phone fell down on the street, hit a kerbside stone, and the display screen cracked irreparably. I was shocked for a nano-second. Then I picked up the instrument to check if it was working. It was. I dusted it and moved on – after double-checking all its functions. I smiled to myself. Some years ago, I would never have been this way. I would have grieved and sulked. Especially, in a situation when replacing the phone instantly is not an option – I don’t have the means to buy a new phone! In fact, even this one was gifted to me by a friend some months ago. As I looked at my battered phone later in the evening, I remembered an incident that happened eight years ago. I am a collector of LAMY pens. And at that time, I was using one daily. I simply loved the look and feel of these pens. I was naturally very possessive about my LAMY collection. On a flight from Chennai to Mumbai, I lost my blue LAMY. I remember how I grieved through all my meetings that day in Mumbai and how I needed more than a few drinks that evening to get the blue LAMY out of my mind. In contrast, I felt good with myself surveying my phone last evening – with my ability to have let go of what had already gone (broke)!There’s a beautiful song from the 1961 Tamil classic Paalum Pazhamum(A.Bhimsingh, Sivaji Ganesan, Saroja Devi) which goes “Ponaal Pogattum Poda…” (Viswanathan-Ramamoorthy, Kannadasan, T.M. Soundarajan). The lyrics basically mean, “If it has gone, let it go…everything/everyone is impermanent…)! That song, to me, sums up what Life is all about!
Indeed. Everything and everyone around us has to go one day. The very nature of Life is impermanent. If you pause for a moment to reflect, you will realize that you came with nothing and you will go with nothing. Your name, your wealth, your qualifications, your experiences, your memories, your relationships – nothing will make it with you. When it is your time, you will have to go. Period. This is one non-negotiable quality about Life. Then, if you care to reflect more, why do we cling on to almost everyone and everything? It is because we cling on, because we don’t let go, that we suffer. What happens to us is not in our control – whether it is a broken mobile phone or a broken relationship or the death of someone we love. But how we let things and people go, when it is time for them to go, out of our lives, can truly impact how we feel about and experience Life. If you resist what’s going or gone, you will find Life to be an endless struggle. But if you let go gracefully, you will be drenched in inner peace and happiness – no matter what the circumstances are!
Be your child’s best friend and partner-in-progress
When parents are over-anxious about their children, often it is not the children who need advice, it is the parents who need counseling!
A couple recently approached me to say that their child, a 17-year-old boy, was being drawn to all forms of “negativity” and that they had tried “treating” him without much “success”. The boy apparently had stopped faring well in academics, was drawn to a career as a script-writer for films, had tried smoking weed and had liked it, had stopped believing in God and was questioning the role of religion in Life. It was clear to me that both parents were anxious in their own way – the mother was vocal about it and the father admitted that he was often “hyper” with his son over his changed behavior. While clarifying to them that their child was not a problem and that he did he not require any treatment, I advised the couple to simply “chill”. The good news, I told them, is that their son was being honest in declaring – and sharing – his choices, opinions and preferences with them. And the better news also was that their child was simply being normal. I am not sure the parents agreed with me entirely though!
Here’s what we need to understand about parenting teenagers and young adults – we must simply learn to let go! When children are in their adolescent years and are emerging into young adulthood, they are keen adventurers and explorers. They want to touch, feel and experience Life. They don’t want to live with our rationalizations and hypotheses. They even don’t want to learn from our experiences – they want to experiment and learn everything first hand. From handling money to making career choices to having sex to tasting alcohol to smoking tobacco to trying dope – they want to do it their way. Now, obviously, when a child you cradled in your arms, is beginning to want to live “free” you wonder if she or he can manage in this mad, chaotic, big world. You agonize over whether she or he is drinking too much; you fear whether the casual smoke will become a ruinous habit and you wonder if having sex too soon will lead to physical and social challenges. None of your concerns is baseless. But resisting your child’s adolescent curiosity is never productive. Instead, choose a mature, transparent approach. Talk to the child. Have conversations on all subjects. Nothing is taboo between a parent and a child. Tell the child what you feel about various her or his preferences or choices. Share what your experiences have been. Tell your child that you trust her or him and that you expect mature, intelligent behavior from her or him. Inform your child on what the law says about many of these matters – on say, drinking and driving, on pirated movies, on the difference between consensual sex and rape, on the use of contraband and narcotics. Let your perspective not be a command or a directive. Let it be an informed appeal. Invite the child to experience everything that’s permissible by the law of the land – but advice against getting carried away! And then let go! More often than not, when you genuinely repose faith and confidence, children usually behave very responsibly. Freedom is a great responsibility. And no one knows this better than children who are in their late teens – and who are trusted by their parents. This has been my personal experience as a parent too!
I am not championing abdication when I say let go! Of course, if your child continues to show deviant behavior, you have to consistently communicate and inspire the child to change. For instance, if your child is smoking tobacco or weed, more empowering conversations must be had to wean the child away. By let go, I really mean that you must stop looking at your child as a problem kid or that your child has a “disease”. To want to explore Life on your own terms is a sign of creativity and leadership. Celebrate it. Don’t kill your child’s urge to live fully with your anxieties. If you do that you will have irreparably broken a lifelong bond that might have been possible between you and your child.
Parental anxiety is a natural response to teenage enthusiasm and irreverence. But rise above your anxieties, have empowering conversations with your child and see how beautifully your child responds. You child’s adolescent years need not be as stressful for both of you if can understand your child’s mind and thinking better. Wanting your child to be “just like you” is futile – because every child has a right to be independent and individual. And whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, your child will exercise that right! So, since it is an eventuality that you cannot avoid, you might as well be your child’s best friend and partner-in-progress! Children make for great citizens and even greater human beings – provided you can be a compassionate friend and an empowering parent!
A couple recently approached me to say that their child, a 17-year-old boy, was being drawn to all forms of “negativity” and that they had tried “treating” him without much “success”. The boy apparently had stopped faring well in academics, was drawn to a career as a script-writer for films, had tried smoking weed and had liked it, had stopped believing in God and was questioning the role of religion in Life. It was clear to me that both parents were anxious in their own way – the mother was vocal about it and the father admitted that he was often “hyper” with his son over his changed behavior. While clarifying to them that their child was not a problem and that he did he not require any treatment, I advised the couple to simply “chill”. The good news, I told them, is that their son was being honest in declaring – and sharing – his choices, opinions and preferences with them. And the better news also was that their child was simply being normal. I am not sure the parents agreed with me entirely though!
Here’s what we need to understand about parenting teenagers and young adults – we must simply learn to let go! When children are in their adolescent years and are emerging into young adulthood, they are keen adventurers and explorers. They want to touch, feel and experience Life. They don’t want to live with our rationalizations and hypotheses. They even don’t want to learn from our experiences – they want to experiment and learn everything first hand. From handling money to making career choices to having sex to tasting alcohol to smoking tobacco to trying dope – they want to do it their way. Now, obviously, when a child you cradled in your arms, is beginning to want to live “free” you wonder if she or he can manage in this mad, chaotic, big world. You agonize over whether she or he is drinking too much; you fear whether the casual smoke will become a ruinous habit and you wonder if having sex too soon will lead to physical and social challenges. None of your concerns is baseless. But resisting your child’s adolescent curiosity is never productive. Instead, choose a mature, transparent approach. Talk to the child. Have conversations on all subjects. Nothing is taboo between a parent and a child. Tell the child what you feel about various her or his preferences or choices. Share what your experiences have been. Tell your child that you trust her or him and that you expect mature, intelligent behavior from her or him. Inform your child on what the law says about many of these matters – on say, drinking and driving, on pirated movies, on the difference between consensual sex and rape, on the use of contraband and narcotics. Let your perspective not be a command or a directive. Let it be an informed appeal. Invite the child to experience everything that’s permissible by the law of the land – but advice against getting carried away! And then let go! More often than not, when you genuinely repose faith and confidence, children usually behave very responsibly. Freedom is a great responsibility. And no one knows this better than children who are in their late teens – and who are trusted by their parents. This has been my personal experience as a parent too! I am not championing abdication when I say let go! Of course, if your child continues to show deviant behavior, you have to consistently communicate and inspire the child to change. For instance, if your child is smoking tobacco or weed, more empowering conversations must be had to wean the child away. By let go, I really mean that you must stop looking at your child as a problem kid or that your child has a “disease”. To want to explore Life on your own terms is a sign of creativity and leadership. Celebrate it. Don’t kill your child’s urge to live fully with your anxieties. If you do that you will have irreparably broken a lifelong bond that might have been possible between you and your child.
Parental anxiety is a natural response to teenage enthusiasm and irreverence. But rise above your anxieties, have empowering conversations with your child and see how beautifully your child responds. You child’s adolescent years need not be as stressful for both of you if can understand your child’s mind and thinking better. Wanting your child to be “just like you” is futile – because every child has a right to be independent and individual. And whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, your child will exercise that right! So, since it is an eventuality that you cannot avoid, you might as well be your child’s best friend and partner-in-progress! Children make for great citizens and even greater human beings – provided you can be a compassionate friend and an empowering parent!
February 7, 2015
Understand. Forgive. Love.
It is considered natural to rise in defense or take offense when someone offends you. But another response is possible: Give forgiveness, love and understanding to people that offend you.
Does this sound difficult? Well, it really is not. Consider this: in the first place, you are offended because you
allowed
yourself to be offended. In that state when the offensive emotion has penetrated the deep recesses of your mind, agitation begins to brew. When you are agitated, you cannot think with clarity. Forgiveness, love and understanding, therefore seem impossible and impractical at this time. But what if you refuse to get offended? Sure enough, there's a way. Try these three easy steps: 1. Don't respond mindlessly, belligerently. Be
aware
of the so-called offensive remarks coming your way. And like a turtle would withdraw into its shell so that it remains secure, withdraw all defense mechanisms. 2. Respect the right of the other person to have an opinion, any opinion, that is different from you. 3. Smile. Accept the reality. Kill the urge to think 'how-dare-you?' and respond instead with an 'aha!'feeling in you. Wish the person who's trying to offend you all success. Convert the problem situation into a game. Play it! What if the offender was on Reality TV with you and the game was 'Who-Barks-Least-Wins?' And the prize money was worth millions. Play the game in that spirit. Like in any sport, practice makes perfect. So it is in this.
Very soon, after a few attempts, you will reach a stage where you will be a World Champ and the peace, joy and bliss, that will follow will be worth more than all the money there is in the world!
Does this sound difficult? Well, it really is not. Consider this: in the first place, you are offended because you
allowed
yourself to be offended. In that state when the offensive emotion has penetrated the deep recesses of your mind, agitation begins to brew. When you are agitated, you cannot think with clarity. Forgiveness, love and understanding, therefore seem impossible and impractical at this time. But what if you refuse to get offended? Sure enough, there's a way. Try these three easy steps: 1. Don't respond mindlessly, belligerently. Be
aware
of the so-called offensive remarks coming your way. And like a turtle would withdraw into its shell so that it remains secure, withdraw all defense mechanisms. 2. Respect the right of the other person to have an opinion, any opinion, that is different from you. 3. Smile. Accept the reality. Kill the urge to think 'how-dare-you?' and respond instead with an 'aha!'feeling in you. Wish the person who's trying to offend you all success. Convert the problem situation into a game. Play it! What if the offender was on Reality TV with you and the game was 'Who-Barks-Least-Wins?' And the prize money was worth millions. Play the game in that spirit. Like in any sport, practice makes perfect. So it is in this.
Very soon, after a few attempts, you will reach a stage where you will be a World Champ and the peace, joy and bliss, that will follow will be worth more than all the money there is in the world!
Awareness is your spiritual Caller ID detection facility
Awareness is a state that you can easily attain. By learning to be aware, you can face any challenge or leverage any opportunity that comes your way!
Phones today have Caller ID detection options so that users can choose which calls they must take. So, you can avoid telemarketers, wrong numbers and unknown callers. Just think of how difficult it would have been had there been no Caller ID facility on your phone? You would have been frustrated receiving calls that you had no interest in or answering people who you would have liked to avoid. Quite like the way the Caller ID facility helps you intelligently discriminate or choose between calls, your awareness helps you ignore or deal with negative emotions or energy smartly. Most of the time we get caught up in a spiral of worry, anxiety, stress, anger and self-pity, only because we are
not aware
that we are walking down that path. One event triggers a negative emotion and we are off on an uncontrolled roller coaster journey feeling anguish and pain. It is only when a new positive event breaks this flow of thought and we actually reflect on how we were thinking till then that we realize the futility in such thinking.
You have an inbuilt feature in you called awareness. You can activate that with the practice of mounaor silence periods. mouna keeps you alert and aware and helps you identify 'unknown' or 'undesirable' or 'pesky' emotions who come calling on you. When you are aware, you choose if you want to worry or get angry or feel jealous or scared of something or if you just want to ignore that 'uninvited caller-emotion'. Activate your awareness mode. Stay blissful!
Phones today have Caller ID detection options so that users can choose which calls they must take. So, you can avoid telemarketers, wrong numbers and unknown callers. Just think of how difficult it would have been had there been no Caller ID facility on your phone? You would have been frustrated receiving calls that you had no interest in or answering people who you would have liked to avoid. Quite like the way the Caller ID facility helps you intelligently discriminate or choose between calls, your awareness helps you ignore or deal with negative emotions or energy smartly. Most of the time we get caught up in a spiral of worry, anxiety, stress, anger and self-pity, only because we are
not aware
that we are walking down that path. One event triggers a negative emotion and we are off on an uncontrolled roller coaster journey feeling anguish and pain. It is only when a new positive event breaks this flow of thought and we actually reflect on how we were thinking till then that we realize the futility in such thinking. You have an inbuilt feature in you called awareness. You can activate that with the practice of mounaor silence periods. mouna keeps you alert and aware and helps you identify 'unknown' or 'undesirable' or 'pesky' emotions who come calling on you. When you are aware, you choose if you want to worry or get angry or feel jealous or scared of something or if you just want to ignore that 'uninvited caller-emotion'. Activate your awareness mode. Stay blissful!
February 5, 2015
Your ‘Daily Good Turn’ awaits you!
Ever paused to think what a random act of kindness can do to you?
It can brighten up your day, keep you energized and create a positive aura in your immediate circle of influence. In fact, it can do the job better than any body freshener or deodorant that you currently use!!! In everyday Life, you have the option of being rushed, stressed and moving forward with blinkers on, obsessed with yourself and your priorities. Or you can notice the innumerable opportunities that surround you where you can make a difference. The problem with us is that we have psyched ourselves into believing that a. an individual alone cannot make a difference; b. we don't have time to invest just now and c. we reason within ourselves that since Life has been unkind to me in the past, why should I be kind to anyone? A random act of kindness is doing good or saying something good while expecting nothing in return, not even an acknowledgment, let alone gratitude. James West (1876~1948), the 'Godather' of the Boy Scouts movement, in 1928, called a random act of kindness, '...the Daily Good Turn that is instrumental in instilling a habit of service and an attitude of mind that offsets a tendency to selfishness...' How simple. And how relevant this philosophy is even today!
In a facebook and twitter era, when service organizations like the Scouts are forgotten, it is our responsibility to not only make our days meaningful but to also inculcate in our children a sense of selfless service. We don't need to have money to be kind. We must only develop the aptitude and attitude to be kind. Even picking up litter from the street, knowing fully well that we are not responsible for the litter or the street, is an act of kindness. In fact, in Islam, Prophet Muhammad, prescribed this__picking up litter from the street__as an act of faith. So, whether you want to do it because it concerns the faith you practice or you want to do it to keep you energized all day long, your Daily Good Turn awaits you. Do one each day of the week and feel the difference in – and for – yourself!
It can brighten up your day, keep you energized and create a positive aura in your immediate circle of influence. In fact, it can do the job better than any body freshener or deodorant that you currently use!!! In everyday Life, you have the option of being rushed, stressed and moving forward with blinkers on, obsessed with yourself and your priorities. Or you can notice the innumerable opportunities that surround you where you can make a difference. The problem with us is that we have psyched ourselves into believing that a. an individual alone cannot make a difference; b. we don't have time to invest just now and c. we reason within ourselves that since Life has been unkind to me in the past, why should I be kind to anyone? A random act of kindness is doing good or saying something good while expecting nothing in return, not even an acknowledgment, let alone gratitude. James West (1876~1948), the 'Godather' of the Boy Scouts movement, in 1928, called a random act of kindness, '...the Daily Good Turn that is instrumental in instilling a habit of service and an attitude of mind that offsets a tendency to selfishness...' How simple. And how relevant this philosophy is even today!In a facebook and twitter era, when service organizations like the Scouts are forgotten, it is our responsibility to not only make our days meaningful but to also inculcate in our children a sense of selfless service. We don't need to have money to be kind. We must only develop the aptitude and attitude to be kind. Even picking up litter from the street, knowing fully well that we are not responsible for the litter or the street, is an act of kindness. In fact, in Islam, Prophet Muhammad, prescribed this__picking up litter from the street__as an act of faith. So, whether you want to do it because it concerns the faith you practice or you want to do it to keep you energized all day long, your Daily Good Turn awaits you. Do one each day of the week and feel the difference in – and for – yourself!
A Life lesson from a Japanese manufacturing method
Just-In-Time. When you review your Life so far, you will discover that you may have never always got what you wanted, but whatever you needed has always been there. And if it was not there in the beginning, it has always arrived Just-In-Time!
There is no moment in anyone's Life that they have spent without having what they needed at that moment. Even so, a large mass of humanity grieves over scarcity, or the lack of what
it feels
is needed, without realizing that the Creator is not only benevolent but also an astute Mastermind, an amazing Logistics Manager, who knows what to provide for whom, when, where and how! On a lighter plane, with some hope of being logical, it may be right to presume that the Creator must be having Japanese roots! The Japanese, led by Toyota Corporation, have perfected a golden method in manufacturing called JIT – Just-In-Time. JIT reduces in-process inventory, and therefore allied costs, ensuring quality, efficiency and enhancing return-on-investment. The JIT process relies on visual signals, or Kanban in Japanese, between different points in the manufacturing process that tells production when to make the next part. Nothing happens earlier. Nothing happens later. So it is in Life. Unknown to us, the Universe's sensors detect, perhaps, invisible Kanban, and we always receive whatever we need at any given moment. Our trying to control the process is of no use, because, in reality, we were and are
never
in control.
All our suffering is on account of us trying to control this process called Life! Instead, if we acknowledge the Universe's, the Creator's, design and appreciate that the ultimate, overall objective is to enhance the quality of our Life __ through our experience and learnings__ we will journey along in peace. Trusting that, without fail, whatever we need will always be available to us Just-In-Time, will lead us to inner peace. When in peace we always experience bliss!
There is no moment in anyone's Life that they have spent without having what they needed at that moment. Even so, a large mass of humanity grieves over scarcity, or the lack of what
it feels
is needed, without realizing that the Creator is not only benevolent but also an astute Mastermind, an amazing Logistics Manager, who knows what to provide for whom, when, where and how! On a lighter plane, with some hope of being logical, it may be right to presume that the Creator must be having Japanese roots! The Japanese, led by Toyota Corporation, have perfected a golden method in manufacturing called JIT – Just-In-Time. JIT reduces in-process inventory, and therefore allied costs, ensuring quality, efficiency and enhancing return-on-investment. The JIT process relies on visual signals, or Kanban in Japanese, between different points in the manufacturing process that tells production when to make the next part. Nothing happens earlier. Nothing happens later. So it is in Life. Unknown to us, the Universe's sensors detect, perhaps, invisible Kanban, and we always receive whatever we need at any given moment. Our trying to control the process is of no use, because, in reality, we were and are
never
in control. All our suffering is on account of us trying to control this process called Life! Instead, if we acknowledge the Universe's, the Creator's, design and appreciate that the ultimate, overall objective is to enhance the quality of our Life __ through our experience and learnings__ we will journey along in peace. Trusting that, without fail, whatever we need will always be available to us Just-In-Time, will lead us to inner peace. When in peace we always experience bliss!
February 4, 2015
Have the humility to wear a learner’s tag
Each moment in Life is teaching us something. Only if we are willing as students to look for the learning in it.
Even a frustrating drive through traffic can be a learning experience. For instance, the alphabet 'L' in red on a vehicle ahead of us on a day when we are behind schedule and are rushing to our destination is the last thing anyone wants. Instead of getting irritated and showing our angst on the rookie driver in the vehicle or on the road or fellow road users, we will do well to reflect on what the 'L' sign can mean to us. In a very practical context, 'L' on a car, indicates that the driver ahead of us is still learning. Our impatience with this person is because we believe we know driving well and don't need to be tailing a learner driver. On a holistic plane, consider the way we journey through Life. Aren't we still learners; still learning (read struggling) to live!? The only difference is that the learner driver has the humility__apart from having to meet a legal requirement__to acknowledge that she/he is still learning. On the other hand, we don't ever want to acknowledge that we are learners, because we think we know it all or imagine that it would be below our dignity to wear a learner tag.
When we get down to being humble, we will discover that the learner tag is not a liability but an asset. When we accept we are still learning, and don't know it all, people make way and time for us. We move, interestingly, faster, onward, higher and wiser....in Life!
Even a frustrating drive through traffic can be a learning experience. For instance, the alphabet 'L' in red on a vehicle ahead of us on a day when we are behind schedule and are rushing to our destination is the last thing anyone wants. Instead of getting irritated and showing our angst on the rookie driver in the vehicle or on the road or fellow road users, we will do well to reflect on what the 'L' sign can mean to us. In a very practical context, 'L' on a car, indicates that the driver ahead of us is still learning. Our impatience with this person is because we believe we know driving well and don't need to be tailing a learner driver. On a holistic plane, consider the way we journey through Life. Aren't we still learners; still learning (read struggling) to live!? The only difference is that the learner driver has the humility__apart from having to meet a legal requirement__to acknowledge that she/he is still learning. On the other hand, we don't ever want to acknowledge that we are learners, because we think we know it all or imagine that it would be below our dignity to wear a learner tag.When we get down to being humble, we will discover that the learner tag is not a liability but an asset. When we accept we are still learning, and don't know it all, people make way and time for us. We move, interestingly, faster, onward, higher and wiser....in Life!
February 2, 2015
Stop coming in your own way
Life's at work on you continuously.
Life's like an artisan-sculptor-miner who's chipping away, digging, at times even polishing, to get you to the gold__to get you to the real you. Every event, opportunity or ordeal is Life's way to purify you so that the real you emerges: cleansed and resplendent. So submit yourself to Life. And yes, one more thing: just make sure you don't come in your own way!
We view Life's myriad challenges as part of a grand conspiracy to suppress or annihilate us. Relax: this ain't any conspiracy! On the other hand, Life has a grand design for each of us. It is Life's responsibility to ensure we know ourselves and see ourselves as who we truly are. Though all of us are born pure, over several years of conditioning, we have acquired a different hue. We can't even recognize ourselves. Our insecurities, our anxieties, our greed, have made us cold, bitter and lusterless. Our simple nature has been overshadowed by a complex craving to be noticed and understood, our intrinsic selflessness has been held hostage by me-first-ism, our fears suppress our faith and jealousy prevents us from letting others win.
We must recognize and accept the truth that we are
not
in control here. No, not in this lifetime. We are like passengers on a plane: we have to fasten our seat belts, sit back and either enjoy or endure the ride. At times it will be calm, sometimes fun; at some other times there could be turbulence and the journey could be scary. To enjoy or endure a plane ride is a personal choice. But instead of trying to take charge, don't we always simply let the pilot to do her job and land us safely? Do the same with Life too.
Stop coming in your own way. Stop resisting every move of Life. Simply surrender and go with the flow!
Life's like an artisan-sculptor-miner who's chipping away, digging, at times even polishing, to get you to the gold__to get you to the real you. Every event, opportunity or ordeal is Life's way to purify you so that the real you emerges: cleansed and resplendent. So submit yourself to Life. And yes, one more thing: just make sure you don't come in your own way!
We view Life's myriad challenges as part of a grand conspiracy to suppress or annihilate us. Relax: this ain't any conspiracy! On the other hand, Life has a grand design for each of us. It is Life's responsibility to ensure we know ourselves and see ourselves as who we truly are. Though all of us are born pure, over several years of conditioning, we have acquired a different hue. We can't even recognize ourselves. Our insecurities, our anxieties, our greed, have made us cold, bitter and lusterless. Our simple nature has been overshadowed by a complex craving to be noticed and understood, our intrinsic selflessness has been held hostage by me-first-ism, our fears suppress our faith and jealousy prevents us from letting others win.
We must recognize and accept the truth that we are
not
in control here. No, not in this lifetime. We are like passengers on a plane: we have to fasten our seat belts, sit back and either enjoy or endure the ride. At times it will be calm, sometimes fun; at some other times there could be turbulence and the journey could be scary. To enjoy or endure a plane ride is a personal choice. But instead of trying to take charge, don't we always simply let the pilot to do her job and land us safely? Do the same with Life too.
Stop coming in your own way. Stop resisting every move of Life. Simply surrender and go with the flow!
Embrace, welcome and celebrate uncertainty
It is in the Unknown that you will find the true treasures of Life.
We have been sadly conditioned to expect rewards and recognition for every effort we make. These expectations bring agony. The pursuit of any goal by itself does not cause suffering. It is in not seeing outcomes that we desired that we feel defeated and begin to suffer. When what we seek is not what we get, we give up and choose to stay with the predictable. By itself, it is not a bad choice. The problem arises when we start lamenting about Life, whining and feeling depressed or let down.
Understand that Life has a mind of its own. Its benevolence and creativity is shrouded in its eccentricity. (Aren't all creative folks a wee bit eccentric?) It is unpredictable and moves is bizarre ways. That's why all of the world's wealth is with a chosen few. And a large mass of people__like you and me__are hardworking, ethical climbers with no idea of where the top of this ladder we are on will lead us. A larger mass of people, the strugglers, have no desires than just getting past basic stuff (that which we climbers take for granted) like two meals a day, a home, something to cover themselves with and, possibly a steady source of income or education. There are no answers to why a Sachin Tendulkar should be ordained with boundless abundance and glory while Vinod Kambli should have not got there__though both came from similar backgrounds, trained with the same coach and were equally talented.
The point is that Life's unpredictable. Period. And the way to deal with its eccentricity__often seen as its unfairness__is to simply Let Go and be prepared for the Unknown. Do your bit, joyfully, ethically, sincerely, and Let Go. Every other aspect of Nature's creation thrives in Let Go mode. The birds, the trees, the insects, the reptiles, the animals, they have all Let Go. We humans are afraid to Let Go because we have a fear of the Unknown. So we suffer. But clinging on and expecting desirable outcomes is a foolish choice. So, in every sense, our suffering is self-inflicted. When we Let Go and face the Unknown, remember, we will never be let down. There will be no more suffering. The true treasures of Life, which were always there, will now be visible to us: we will feel the air in our lungs, see the beauty of creation all around us, find ourselves drenched in grace and feel happiness in our every pore.
We have been sadly conditioned to expect rewards and recognition for every effort we make. These expectations bring agony. The pursuit of any goal by itself does not cause suffering. It is in not seeing outcomes that we desired that we feel defeated and begin to suffer. When what we seek is not what we get, we give up and choose to stay with the predictable. By itself, it is not a bad choice. The problem arises when we start lamenting about Life, whining and feeling depressed or let down.
Understand that Life has a mind of its own. Its benevolence and creativity is shrouded in its eccentricity. (Aren't all creative folks a wee bit eccentric?) It is unpredictable and moves is bizarre ways. That's why all of the world's wealth is with a chosen few. And a large mass of people__like you and me__are hardworking, ethical climbers with no idea of where the top of this ladder we are on will lead us. A larger mass of people, the strugglers, have no desires than just getting past basic stuff (that which we climbers take for granted) like two meals a day, a home, something to cover themselves with and, possibly a steady source of income or education. There are no answers to why a Sachin Tendulkar should be ordained with boundless abundance and glory while Vinod Kambli should have not got there__though both came from similar backgrounds, trained with the same coach and were equally talented. The point is that Life's unpredictable. Period. And the way to deal with its eccentricity__often seen as its unfairness__is to simply Let Go and be prepared for the Unknown. Do your bit, joyfully, ethically, sincerely, and Let Go. Every other aspect of Nature's creation thrives in Let Go mode. The birds, the trees, the insects, the reptiles, the animals, they have all Let Go. We humans are afraid to Let Go because we have a fear of the Unknown. So we suffer. But clinging on and expecting desirable outcomes is a foolish choice. So, in every sense, our suffering is self-inflicted. When we Let Go and face the Unknown, remember, we will never be let down. There will be no more suffering. The true treasures of Life, which were always there, will now be visible to us: we will feel the air in our lungs, see the beauty of creation all around us, find ourselves drenched in grace and feel happiness in our every pore.
February 1, 2015
Joy has to be experienced in and with what is!
If you are confused about Life, you are normal. And you are not alone.
Everyone is confused about Life at some time or the other. Some even spend an entire lifetime being confused. If you are confused about the reason for your creation not being known to you, relax. If you are confused about your career or why a certain relationship is not working out, chill. If you are confused why your child does not behave the way you want her to, just let go. So, don't try to demystify Life. Don't try to apply complex formulae to solve this puzzle. Someone aptly said: "Confusion is like fertilizer. It feels like crap in the beginning, but nothing can grow without it."
On the other hand, try to go beyond the confusion and simplify Life. By finding joy in what you have instead of pining for and chasing what you don't have. Know that joy cannot be pursued. It has to be experienced in and with what is! By making simple, yet important choices: If you don't know why you are here on this planet, stop vexing over it. Know that your creation has a purpose and it will find you soon. If you don't like what you are doing, don't do it. Simple. But stop agonizing over the possible fallout of your decision or stop cribbing about your job. Any problem in Life has to be dealt with straight and simply. With problems there are only two ways; you can either solve a problem or you can’t solve it! If you can solve a problem, why worry about it? And when you can’t solve a problem, why worry about it again? Just learn to accept it as there is no point in complaining about it. See, now, isn’t Life clear and simple?
Everyone is confused about Life at some time or the other. Some even spend an entire lifetime being confused. If you are confused about the reason for your creation not being known to you, relax. If you are confused about your career or why a certain relationship is not working out, chill. If you are confused why your child does not behave the way you want her to, just let go. So, don't try to demystify Life. Don't try to apply complex formulae to solve this puzzle. Someone aptly said: "Confusion is like fertilizer. It feels like crap in the beginning, but nothing can grow without it." On the other hand, try to go beyond the confusion and simplify Life. By finding joy in what you have instead of pining for and chasing what you don't have. Know that joy cannot be pursued. It has to be experienced in and with what is! By making simple, yet important choices: If you don't know why you are here on this planet, stop vexing over it. Know that your creation has a purpose and it will find you soon. If you don't like what you are doing, don't do it. Simple. But stop agonizing over the possible fallout of your decision or stop cribbing about your job. Any problem in Life has to be dealt with straight and simply. With problems there are only two ways; you can either solve a problem or you can’t solve it! If you can solve a problem, why worry about it? And when you can’t solve a problem, why worry about it again? Just learn to accept it as there is no point in complaining about it. See, now, isn’t Life clear and simple?
