AVIS Viswanathan's Blog, page 38
March 11, 2015
On making our world not just better but happier…
Having continuous conversations with your children is the best way to prepare them for the real world and to help groom them into being smart human beings.
Goldie Hawn, 69, with MindUP kids
Picture Courtesy: The Hawn Foundation WebsiteThe latest issue of Harvard Business Review features an interview by Alison Beard with the famous Hollywood actor Goldie Hawn. Hawn was famous for such hits as Cactus Flower, Private Benjamin, The First Wives Club and Everyone Says I Love You. Hawn told Beard that her Hawn Foundation teaches resilience and mindfulness to 400,000 children around the world: “After 9/11, I realized that our children were no longer going to be living in a secure world. I also realized that the things we do in the first part of our Life aren’t always what we do moving on. How could I make a change and give back? So I brought together neuroscientists, positive psychologists, teachers, and mindfulness practitioners to create a program we call MindUP. It’s designed to help children understand their own neurology, develop mental stability, and reduce stress. People told me I would never be able to teach children how their brains work. And I said, Why not? There are now more than 400,000 doing MindUP worldwide.” Calling herself a “mindfulness campaigner”, Hawn says she wants to “build leaders of tomorrow by nurturing the children of today”.
I second that and champion that totally. The Information Age that we live in today delivers unfiltered, often uncensorable, information to children 24x7. There’s hardly any child who’s not aware of rape or terrorism or break-ups/divorce or poverty or prostitution or child-trafficking or drugs or war. On one side we parents wish to raise our children teaching them to be truthful and compassionate. On the other side, our societies, our nations and even our families are behaving so contradictory to the value systems we preach and wish that our children practice. For instance, you teach your child not to steal or lie. But you watch, often with your child, pirated online links of new movie releases. Don’t we realize that lifting someone’s intellectual property without paying for it is theft? Or consider the fact that we want, especially in the wake of the Nirbhaya episode in India, our male children to grow up to respect women. But we ourselves use so much of abusive slang (our seemingly innocuous MCs and BCs are precisely that!) or crack sexist jokes that deride women. Or we want protect our children from the gory social challenges of terrorism, poverty, child abuse and child trafficking. But the real world – and all our cinema – is full of them. The more we conceal, the more curious our children are to “see” first-hand what the real world is really like. Or the amount of academic and social pressure, in the name of extra-curricular activities, we heap on our children is not funny. We don’t realize that all this stress is perhaps numbing them, making them cold and, in some cases, even insensitive to their role as responsible global citizens of the future. This is where Hawn’s program attempts to want make a difference.
But you don’t need to wait for Hawn’s initiative to arrive in your neighborhood. You can lead as a parent by starting to have honest, open, conversations with your children. Teach them what’s right. Teach them to learn from their choices and mistakes. Share with them the gory details of real world issues from poverty to prostitution and help them resolve to make a difference. My wife and I ran a program on Life Skills for two years at a government-aided school in Chennai some years ago. We noticed that all 60 children we worked with each year resolved never to smoke or drink because they were all from families where a parent, or both parents, were alcoholic or smoking addicts. So, our learning has been that children are very open and willing to make intelligent choices – even better than adults – if they have access to facts and the true, bigger picture. And finally, help children, through conversations, understand that Life is never a straight line. Teach them that Life cannot be progressed in a linear fashion. Prepare them – and invite them – to face Life and whatever comes their way; be it a health challenge, a financial setback for the family, a relationship breakdown or even death. Preparing children to be “ready for anything” makes them less insecure and, in fact, stronger to deal with the ups and downs of Life.
The key is to help children realize the value of living smartly, intelligently. I learnt the value of mindfulness, and the power of being resilient, at age 35. I wish I had learnt it earlier. I would then have lived many more years of my Life meaningfully and fully. Like Hawn, I totally endorse the view that we must “catch ‘em young”! Because a more resilient and mindful generation of adults will not just make our world better, it will make it a happier one too!
Goldie Hawn, 69, with MindUP kidsPicture Courtesy: The Hawn Foundation WebsiteThe latest issue of Harvard Business Review features an interview by Alison Beard with the famous Hollywood actor Goldie Hawn. Hawn was famous for such hits as Cactus Flower, Private Benjamin, The First Wives Club and Everyone Says I Love You. Hawn told Beard that her Hawn Foundation teaches resilience and mindfulness to 400,000 children around the world: “After 9/11, I realized that our children were no longer going to be living in a secure world. I also realized that the things we do in the first part of our Life aren’t always what we do moving on. How could I make a change and give back? So I brought together neuroscientists, positive psychologists, teachers, and mindfulness practitioners to create a program we call MindUP. It’s designed to help children understand their own neurology, develop mental stability, and reduce stress. People told me I would never be able to teach children how their brains work. And I said, Why not? There are now more than 400,000 doing MindUP worldwide.” Calling herself a “mindfulness campaigner”, Hawn says she wants to “build leaders of tomorrow by nurturing the children of today”.
I second that and champion that totally. The Information Age that we live in today delivers unfiltered, often uncensorable, information to children 24x7. There’s hardly any child who’s not aware of rape or terrorism or break-ups/divorce or poverty or prostitution or child-trafficking or drugs or war. On one side we parents wish to raise our children teaching them to be truthful and compassionate. On the other side, our societies, our nations and even our families are behaving so contradictory to the value systems we preach and wish that our children practice. For instance, you teach your child not to steal or lie. But you watch, often with your child, pirated online links of new movie releases. Don’t we realize that lifting someone’s intellectual property without paying for it is theft? Or consider the fact that we want, especially in the wake of the Nirbhaya episode in India, our male children to grow up to respect women. But we ourselves use so much of abusive slang (our seemingly innocuous MCs and BCs are precisely that!) or crack sexist jokes that deride women. Or we want protect our children from the gory social challenges of terrorism, poverty, child abuse and child trafficking. But the real world – and all our cinema – is full of them. The more we conceal, the more curious our children are to “see” first-hand what the real world is really like. Or the amount of academic and social pressure, in the name of extra-curricular activities, we heap on our children is not funny. We don’t realize that all this stress is perhaps numbing them, making them cold and, in some cases, even insensitive to their role as responsible global citizens of the future. This is where Hawn’s program attempts to want make a difference.
But you don’t need to wait for Hawn’s initiative to arrive in your neighborhood. You can lead as a parent by starting to have honest, open, conversations with your children. Teach them what’s right. Teach them to learn from their choices and mistakes. Share with them the gory details of real world issues from poverty to prostitution and help them resolve to make a difference. My wife and I ran a program on Life Skills for two years at a government-aided school in Chennai some years ago. We noticed that all 60 children we worked with each year resolved never to smoke or drink because they were all from families where a parent, or both parents, were alcoholic or smoking addicts. So, our learning has been that children are very open and willing to make intelligent choices – even better than adults – if they have access to facts and the true, bigger picture. And finally, help children, through conversations, understand that Life is never a straight line. Teach them that Life cannot be progressed in a linear fashion. Prepare them – and invite them – to face Life and whatever comes their way; be it a health challenge, a financial setback for the family, a relationship breakdown or even death. Preparing children to be “ready for anything” makes them less insecure and, in fact, stronger to deal with the ups and downs of Life.
The key is to help children realize the value of living smartly, intelligently. I learnt the value of mindfulness, and the power of being resilient, at age 35. I wish I had learnt it earlier. I would then have lived many more years of my Life meaningfully and fully. Like Hawn, I totally endorse the view that we must “catch ‘em young”! Because a more resilient and mindful generation of adults will not just make our world better, it will make it a happier one too!
March 10, 2015
Feel Life – feel abundance, not scarcity
Feel Life. How you feel Life is very critical to what you experience.
When you see a mother feeding her infant at a traffic signal in the blistering Indian summer heat, an apology for a garment covering her sweaty bosom, while she moves from one vehicle window to another, hoping for someone to drop her a penny; you may well feel uncomfortable. The very sight is despicable. Avoidable. It makes you squirm. You are agitated and start thinking the whole Indian social order is so rotten, so cold, so inhuman. But instead if you feel compassion, for the way a mother protects and nurtures her baby despite the odds, for the way Life provides for everyone, for the miracle called your Life because it is only a quirk of time and destiny that you are on the other side of the car’s glass window, you will experience peace.
So, feeling, and what you feel, for Life makes all the difference to what you experience. In ‘The Little Prince’(1943) author Antoine de Saint-Exupery makes several profound and idealistic observations about Life and human nature. For example, Saint-Exupéry tells of a fox meeting the young prince during his travels on Earth. The story's essence is contained in the lines uttered by the fox to the little prince: “One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." Indeed. Happiness, peace and joy are there in front of us, but they are never visible to the eye. We don’t see them because we find things material__our jobs, our money, our properties, our cars__far more important. But what’s essential, what’s absolutely necessary is that we live this Life fully. And all that we need for living fully is with us, has been with us, all the time.
To experience a fuller, richer and blissful Life, we must feel for abundance and not be steeped in scarcity thinking! Going back to the lady at the signal, scarcity thinking means we see depravation. Abundance thinking means we feel compassion. Depravation leads us to be cynical and embittered. Compassion leads us to bliss. So, make an intelligent choice. Choose to feel Life differently. Feel from the heart, not from the mind! Abandon rational thinking and plunge into Life __ in total abandon __ you will experience bliss!
When you see a mother feeding her infant at a traffic signal in the blistering Indian summer heat, an apology for a garment covering her sweaty bosom, while she moves from one vehicle window to another, hoping for someone to drop her a penny; you may well feel uncomfortable. The very sight is despicable. Avoidable. It makes you squirm. You are agitated and start thinking the whole Indian social order is so rotten, so cold, so inhuman. But instead if you feel compassion, for the way a mother protects and nurtures her baby despite the odds, for the way Life provides for everyone, for the miracle called your Life because it is only a quirk of time and destiny that you are on the other side of the car’s glass window, you will experience peace.
So, feeling, and what you feel, for Life makes all the difference to what you experience. In ‘The Little Prince’(1943) author Antoine de Saint-Exupery makes several profound and idealistic observations about Life and human nature. For example, Saint-Exupéry tells of a fox meeting the young prince during his travels on Earth. The story's essence is contained in the lines uttered by the fox to the little prince: “One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." Indeed. Happiness, peace and joy are there in front of us, but they are never visible to the eye. We don’t see them because we find things material__our jobs, our money, our properties, our cars__far more important. But what’s essential, what’s absolutely necessary is that we live this Life fully. And all that we need for living fully is with us, has been with us, all the time. To experience a fuller, richer and blissful Life, we must feel for abundance and not be steeped in scarcity thinking! Going back to the lady at the signal, scarcity thinking means we see depravation. Abundance thinking means we feel compassion. Depravation leads us to be cynical and embittered. Compassion leads us to bliss. So, make an intelligent choice. Choose to feel Life differently. Feel from the heart, not from the mind! Abandon rational thinking and plunge into Life __ in total abandon __ you will experience bliss!
March 9, 2015
Are you taking advantage of the time you have here?
Actually, the choice to live – and not to exist – is a no-brainer if you keep reminding yourself that “you live only once”!
Picture Courtesy: InternetThe latest issue of TIME features an interview with acclaimed American photojournalist Lynsey Addario, 41, who specializes in covering war and champions human rights and the role of women in traditional societies. In 2000, she photographed in Afghanistan under Taliban control. She has since covered conflicts in Afghanistan, Iraq, Darfur, the Congo, and Haiti. She has covered stories throughout the Middle East and Africa. She has photographed for The New York Times, Time, Newsweek, and National Geographic. Addario was one of four New York Times journalists who were missing in Libya from March 16 ~ 21, 2011. The Libyan government released Addario and the other journalists on March 21, 2011. She reported that she was threatened with death and repeatedly groped during her captivity by the Libyan Army. Penguin has recently published Addario’s first book, It’s What I Do – A photographer’s Life of Love and War. TIME asked Addario to explain her unique, albeit risky, career choice – “Is it because you think you have a lot of time left that you can tolerate danger?” And Addario replied: “It is important to take advantage of the time that we each have.”
Her reply is awakening. Addario says it so well – and simply. In fact, it reminds me of what the Buddha has said: “The trouble is you think you have a lot of time.”
And that indeed is the problem with most of us. We go on postponing the Life we want to live by kidding ourselves with our earning-a-living logic: the family has to be provided for, kids have to be schooled, raised and sent to university, retirement has to be planned and saved for … The list of things to do, to prioritize, over living a full Life, is endless. This is why so many of us feel that our lives are incomplete, listless and monotonous. My wife and I have been, since January this year, running an Event Series in Chennai called “Follow Your Bliss” (inspired by Joseph Campbell’s famous thought/quote) which celebrates people who have had the courage to break free from “financially safe and secure” careers to do what they love doing. Almost everyone who attends this Event Series concurs that they are keen to do “something more meaningful” in their lives. But few actually take the first step. One gentleman, in his 50s, who quit his 26-year run with the IT industry last month, told us: “It had to happen. I realized that I had to give up running on the corporate treadmill if I really wanted to get some place else in Life. And I am not getting any younger either, you see.” I am sure you too agree with his view here.
Indeed, Life is a gift. And you should not waste it. The way to use this gift – effectively and efficiently – is to take advantage of the time you have on the planet, doing what you love doing. That’s the only way to live a Life of meaning and happiness!
Picture Courtesy: InternetThe latest issue of TIME features an interview with acclaimed American photojournalist Lynsey Addario, 41, who specializes in covering war and champions human rights and the role of women in traditional societies. In 2000, she photographed in Afghanistan under Taliban control. She has since covered conflicts in Afghanistan, Iraq, Darfur, the Congo, and Haiti. She has covered stories throughout the Middle East and Africa. She has photographed for The New York Times, Time, Newsweek, and National Geographic. Addario was one of four New York Times journalists who were missing in Libya from March 16 ~ 21, 2011. The Libyan government released Addario and the other journalists on March 21, 2011. She reported that she was threatened with death and repeatedly groped during her captivity by the Libyan Army. Penguin has recently published Addario’s first book, It’s What I Do – A photographer’s Life of Love and War. TIME asked Addario to explain her unique, albeit risky, career choice – “Is it because you think you have a lot of time left that you can tolerate danger?” And Addario replied: “It is important to take advantage of the time that we each have.” Her reply is awakening. Addario says it so well – and simply. In fact, it reminds me of what the Buddha has said: “The trouble is you think you have a lot of time.”
And that indeed is the problem with most of us. We go on postponing the Life we want to live by kidding ourselves with our earning-a-living logic: the family has to be provided for, kids have to be schooled, raised and sent to university, retirement has to be planned and saved for … The list of things to do, to prioritize, over living a full Life, is endless. This is why so many of us feel that our lives are incomplete, listless and monotonous. My wife and I have been, since January this year, running an Event Series in Chennai called “Follow Your Bliss” (inspired by Joseph Campbell’s famous thought/quote) which celebrates people who have had the courage to break free from “financially safe and secure” careers to do what they love doing. Almost everyone who attends this Event Series concurs that they are keen to do “something more meaningful” in their lives. But few actually take the first step. One gentleman, in his 50s, who quit his 26-year run with the IT industry last month, told us: “It had to happen. I realized that I had to give up running on the corporate treadmill if I really wanted to get some place else in Life. And I am not getting any younger either, you see.” I am sure you too agree with his view here.
Indeed, Life is a gift. And you should not waste it. The way to use this gift – effectively and efficiently – is to take advantage of the time you have on the planet, doing what you love doing. That’s the only way to live a Life of meaning and happiness!
Surrender to Life and be free!
Surrender to Life. This is the only action required of you. When you surrender, you will be free.
When you are free, you are peaceful. When you are peaceful, bliss follows. With bliss comes abundance. With abundance comes all that you need. When you are in that state, you are radiant.
It’s possible for all of us to be resplendent, radiant like the idol at Tirupati. Those who have been to that temple shrine in southern India will agree that they are speechless, they are thoughtless when in front of the main deity. Many confess they have even forgotten how to pray or what to seek when in the sanctum sanctorum for those few nano-seconds. They speak of divinity and they speak of a super power. They are mesmerized by the glow radiating from the idol, their Lord. They believe it is a superior energy that is embracing them when in proximity of that idol. I don’t wish to challenge their beliefs. But I want to say that you too can radiate that kind of energy. Only if you surrender. Only if you submit yourself to Life’s situations.
All your pain comes from fighting, from resisting Life. All suffering comes from expecting your Life to be different from what it is just now. When you give up the fight and when you stop expecting, you will be at peace. In that state you will be bereft of all wants and yet be abundantly endowed with all that you need. In such a moment, you are one with the Universe, with creation. This is where you begin to radiate the energy that created the Universe. This is not just spiritual thinking. This is metaphysics.
Linji Yixuan, a Buddhist Zen monk, went to his Master and said, “Give me freedom!” The Master said, “Bring yourself. If you are, I will make you free. But if you are not, then how can I make you free? You are already free.” “And freedom,” his Master said, “really is not the freedom you think of. Really, freedom is freedom from ‘you’. So go and find out where this ‘I’ is, where you are, then come to me. This is meditation. Go and meditate.” So the disciple Linji goes and meditates for weeks and months, and then he goes back to his Master. He tells his Master, “I am not the body. Only this much I have found.” So the Master says, “This much you have become free. Go again. Try to find out.” Then he tries, meditates, and he finds that “I am not my mind, because I can observe my thoughts. So the observer is different from the observed – I am not my mind.” He comes and says, “I am not my mind.” So his Master says, “Now you are three-fourths liberated. Now go again and find out who you are.” So Linji went away thinking, “I am not my body. I am not my mind.” He had read, studied, he was well informed, so he was thinking, “I am not my body, not my mind, so I must be my soul, my atman.” But he meditated, and then he found that there is no atman, no soul, because this atmanis nothing but your mental information – just doctrines, words, philosophies. So he came running one day to his Master and said, “Now I am no more!” Then his Master said, “Am I now to teach you the methods for freedom?” Linji said, “I am free because I am no more. There is no one to be in bondage. I am just a wide emptiness, a nothingness.” Osho, recounting this story often, concludes: “Only nothingness can be free. If you are something, you will be in bondage. If you are, you will be in bondage. Only a void, a vacant space, can be free. Then you cannot bind it. Linji came running and said, “I am no more. Nowhere am I to be found.” This is true, real freedom.”
And this freedom comes from surrender. Try it. See what you are enslaved by. And break free. When you realize the nothingness of your creation, the emptiness of your ‘self’, you will be filled with abundance, drenched in a radiant energy. Then you don’t need anything….because you have all that you need, you have freedom! You are free!
When you are free, you are peaceful. When you are peaceful, bliss follows. With bliss comes abundance. With abundance comes all that you need. When you are in that state, you are radiant.
It’s possible for all of us to be resplendent, radiant like the idol at Tirupati. Those who have been to that temple shrine in southern India will agree that they are speechless, they are thoughtless when in front of the main deity. Many confess they have even forgotten how to pray or what to seek when in the sanctum sanctorum for those few nano-seconds. They speak of divinity and they speak of a super power. They are mesmerized by the glow radiating from the idol, their Lord. They believe it is a superior energy that is embracing them when in proximity of that idol. I don’t wish to challenge their beliefs. But I want to say that you too can radiate that kind of energy. Only if you surrender. Only if you submit yourself to Life’s situations.
All your pain comes from fighting, from resisting Life. All suffering comes from expecting your Life to be different from what it is just now. When you give up the fight and when you stop expecting, you will be at peace. In that state you will be bereft of all wants and yet be abundantly endowed with all that you need. In such a moment, you are one with the Universe, with creation. This is where you begin to radiate the energy that created the Universe. This is not just spiritual thinking. This is metaphysics.
Linji Yixuan, a Buddhist Zen monk, went to his Master and said, “Give me freedom!” The Master said, “Bring yourself. If you are, I will make you free. But if you are not, then how can I make you free? You are already free.” “And freedom,” his Master said, “really is not the freedom you think of. Really, freedom is freedom from ‘you’. So go and find out where this ‘I’ is, where you are, then come to me. This is meditation. Go and meditate.” So the disciple Linji goes and meditates for weeks and months, and then he goes back to his Master. He tells his Master, “I am not the body. Only this much I have found.” So the Master says, “This much you have become free. Go again. Try to find out.” Then he tries, meditates, and he finds that “I am not my mind, because I can observe my thoughts. So the observer is different from the observed – I am not my mind.” He comes and says, “I am not my mind.” So his Master says, “Now you are three-fourths liberated. Now go again and find out who you are.” So Linji went away thinking, “I am not my body. I am not my mind.” He had read, studied, he was well informed, so he was thinking, “I am not my body, not my mind, so I must be my soul, my atman.” But he meditated, and then he found that there is no atman, no soul, because this atmanis nothing but your mental information – just doctrines, words, philosophies. So he came running one day to his Master and said, “Now I am no more!” Then his Master said, “Am I now to teach you the methods for freedom?” Linji said, “I am free because I am no more. There is no one to be in bondage. I am just a wide emptiness, a nothingness.” Osho, recounting this story often, concludes: “Only nothingness can be free. If you are something, you will be in bondage. If you are, you will be in bondage. Only a void, a vacant space, can be free. Then you cannot bind it. Linji came running and said, “I am no more. Nowhere am I to be found.” This is true, real freedom.” And this freedom comes from surrender. Try it. See what you are enslaved by. And break free. When you realize the nothingness of your creation, the emptiness of your ‘self’, you will be filled with abundance, drenched in a radiant energy. Then you don’t need anything….because you have all that you need, you have freedom! You are free!
March 8, 2015
Mukesh Singh is a metaphor for all remorseless people who surround us
Ignore people who have hurt you and show no remorse. There’s no point in lamenting their behavior. Forgive them if you can, and even if you can’t forgive or forget, simply move on…
Mukesh Singh
Picture Courtesy: BBC World/Leslee Udwin/InternetI finally watched Leslee Udwin’s controversial – and now banned – documentary India’s Daughter that tells the horrific story of the gang rape (and subsequent death) of 23-year-old Jyoti Singh on December 16, 2012. What struck me most was the remorselessness of Mukesh Singh, one of the convicts on death row. He is one of the six who is convicted of rape and murder – he has since appealed against his conviction in the Supreme Court. He tells Udwin in the film: “When being raped, she shouldn’t fight back. She should just be silent and allow the rape.” As he says this, Mukesh’s face is expressionless, dead-pan and his tone is cold, showing no signs of either guilt or repentance. Of course, there’s a huge debate going on out there whether it is right to allow such an unrepentant and heinous view as Mukesh’s – which seeks to justify violence against women – publicly or not. Each side of this debate has its own argument. For now, the Indian government has banned the documentary. But my personal opinion is that it ought not have been banned – people must know how people who commit such crimes actually think. The film only portrays, brutally honestly, the mind of a rapist and murderer.
But if you pause to reflect and consider another perspective, Mukesh Singh is also a metaphor. He personifies anyone who tries to justify their unjust actions. And there are several people like that around us – in our families, among our friends, at our workplaces and in public, in society. These are people who continue to do what they do, often at the cost of other people’s rights, emotions and liberties, and, in almost as cold-blooded a fashion as Mukesh does in Udwin’s film, they justify that their actions are right. They believe vehemently that they did what they thought appeared to be right to them. So, there’s no question of them feeling guilty or repentant at all. And so they go on – often, mercilessly and remorselessly, trampling on people, emotionally, and at times, even physically. Now, here’s a view you may want to consider: what’s right and what’s wrong is always subjective. What appears right to you may not be so to me. And what’s wrong to me may appear right to you. Look at Mukesh – the way he looks at women is very different from the way all of us look at them. But Mukesh couldn’t care less. To him his view is the right one. So, he may as well go to the gallows, than repent – let alone reform. So, people who cause pain and suffering to others do so only because they firmly believe what they are doing is right. Period. No amount of our efforts to make them see reason, or reform them, is bound to bear fruit unless something within them changes; until their conscience awakens.
The tragic truth we must all live with is that our society and our lives abound with people like Mukesh. The best way to deal with them, if they are in your personal circle of influence, is to simply let them be. Don’t try to educate them. No education will be possible until there are both ready and willing to unlearn and learn. Don’t try to reform them. They won’t awaken unless they realize the futility of the path they have chosen. Don’t try to avenge them. This will only make you bitter – for they are likely to fight you to the end. It is best to leave such people to a higher energy, to a cosmic retribution, if you will. As for you, if you at all have one of these people in your Life, well, simply forgive them if you can. And if you can’t forgive or forget them, leave them alone and move on. This is the only way to protect your inner peace.
Mukesh SinghPicture Courtesy: BBC World/Leslee Udwin/InternetI finally watched Leslee Udwin’s controversial – and now banned – documentary India’s Daughter that tells the horrific story of the gang rape (and subsequent death) of 23-year-old Jyoti Singh on December 16, 2012. What struck me most was the remorselessness of Mukesh Singh, one of the convicts on death row. He is one of the six who is convicted of rape and murder – he has since appealed against his conviction in the Supreme Court. He tells Udwin in the film: “When being raped, she shouldn’t fight back. She should just be silent and allow the rape.” As he says this, Mukesh’s face is expressionless, dead-pan and his tone is cold, showing no signs of either guilt or repentance. Of course, there’s a huge debate going on out there whether it is right to allow such an unrepentant and heinous view as Mukesh’s – which seeks to justify violence against women – publicly or not. Each side of this debate has its own argument. For now, the Indian government has banned the documentary. But my personal opinion is that it ought not have been banned – people must know how people who commit such crimes actually think. The film only portrays, brutally honestly, the mind of a rapist and murderer.
But if you pause to reflect and consider another perspective, Mukesh Singh is also a metaphor. He personifies anyone who tries to justify their unjust actions. And there are several people like that around us – in our families, among our friends, at our workplaces and in public, in society. These are people who continue to do what they do, often at the cost of other people’s rights, emotions and liberties, and, in almost as cold-blooded a fashion as Mukesh does in Udwin’s film, they justify that their actions are right. They believe vehemently that they did what they thought appeared to be right to them. So, there’s no question of them feeling guilty or repentant at all. And so they go on – often, mercilessly and remorselessly, trampling on people, emotionally, and at times, even physically. Now, here’s a view you may want to consider: what’s right and what’s wrong is always subjective. What appears right to you may not be so to me. And what’s wrong to me may appear right to you. Look at Mukesh – the way he looks at women is very different from the way all of us look at them. But Mukesh couldn’t care less. To him his view is the right one. So, he may as well go to the gallows, than repent – let alone reform. So, people who cause pain and suffering to others do so only because they firmly believe what they are doing is right. Period. No amount of our efforts to make them see reason, or reform them, is bound to bear fruit unless something within them changes; until their conscience awakens.
The tragic truth we must all live with is that our society and our lives abound with people like Mukesh. The best way to deal with them, if they are in your personal circle of influence, is to simply let them be. Don’t try to educate them. No education will be possible until there are both ready and willing to unlearn and learn. Don’t try to reform them. They won’t awaken unless they realize the futility of the path they have chosen. Don’t try to avenge them. This will only make you bitter – for they are likely to fight you to the end. It is best to leave such people to a higher energy, to a cosmic retribution, if you will. As for you, if you at all have one of these people in your Life, well, simply forgive them if you can. And if you can’t forgive or forget them, leave them alone and move on. This is the only way to protect your inner peace.
March 6, 2015
Stop worrying! Start living – better still, just get up and dance…
You are not your problems. You are not your assets, wealth or success. You are, in reality, beyond form and beyond this lifetime and this experience.
Last evening we attended a very soulful performance by the Bangalore-based group, Sunaad. Titled Isha Rumi: Beyond Form, the production married the stellar content of the Ishavasya Upanishad, which is the last chapter (a short one but most significant nevertheless) of the Yajur Veda, with some key verses from the Masnavi, an extensive poem written by the 13th Century Persian poet Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi. Sunaad’s performance, a theatrical and musical juxtaposition really of the shlokasfrom the Ishavasya Upanishad and the verses from the Masnavi, was brilliant. A seeker takes the audience on a spiritual journey, in search of the answers to some all-important questions that confront each of us at some point or the other in Life: Who am I? What is the purpose of this experience called Life? How do I let go? How do I find happiness? The show concludes, attempting to have decoded Life through professing an understanding of what the shlokas and the verses from two great works, from two timeless cultures, have had to say centuries ago. In the end, the takeaway from Isha Rumi is what the absolute truth is all about: you – and I – are beyond form, beyond this worldly sojourn, beyond the experience of this lifetime, beyond our relationships, wealth, memories and, most important, our bodies. So, simply let go and live in the moment knowing that all that you see is impermanent. And ultimately, the unseen, but what is felt – your breath which keeps you ‘alive’ – and that which is formless, is who you truly are!
The beauty of Sunaad’s concept, effort and inspiring delivery, lies in the fact that it shows, through a question-and-answer format, how simple Life, at the core, really is. We complicate Life by applying our academic, acquired intelligence to it. We call it science. We call it logic. And so we push away, actually reject, what is simple to hold, understand and internalize, and keep seeking, quite unnecessarily, more complex answers to what Life really means.
In the end, to be brutally honest in a real-world sense, Life may appear pointless. Because in this journey from a choice-less birth to an inevitable end, death, you always come with nothing and you will always go with nothing. So, when you can’t take anything with you, why acquire anything? When this body will eventually perish, why this attachment to the physical form? And that’s what the scriptures, in the case of Sunaad – Isha Rumi, really say. Real happiness lies in knowing that this lifetime is just a sum of several experiences. Some that give you immense joy. And some that challenge you with pain. You cannot prevent pain, but you can choose to avoid suffering by accepting the pain, letting go of your desire to control (your) Life, and moving on. Happiness really is accepting the Life you have, living in the moment and knowing that everything is impermanent – except the energy, your breath, that powers you and keeps you ‘alive’. And energy, as science has proven, is neither created nor destroyed.
So, don’t get vexed with this Who-am-I question? Know that the real you, your true Self, is indestructible. You are not your problems. Nor are you your wealth, qualifications, your assets and your physical form. Don’t get lost in, and consumed by, the rat race to earn, save and create material wealth. Your only wealth is your breath – what some call the soul and the others call the atman. This breath is formless. And is immortal. Without it nothing matters. And with it anything’s possible. So, stop worrying. Start living. And when you feel the way I do about Life, as Rumi’s followers – the swirling dervishes – would do, just get up and dance!
Last evening we attended a very soulful performance by the Bangalore-based group, Sunaad. Titled Isha Rumi: Beyond Form, the production married the stellar content of the Ishavasya Upanishad, which is the last chapter (a short one but most significant nevertheless) of the Yajur Veda, with some key verses from the Masnavi, an extensive poem written by the 13th Century Persian poet Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi. Sunaad’s performance, a theatrical and musical juxtaposition really of the shlokasfrom the Ishavasya Upanishad and the verses from the Masnavi, was brilliant. A seeker takes the audience on a spiritual journey, in search of the answers to some all-important questions that confront each of us at some point or the other in Life: Who am I? What is the purpose of this experience called Life? How do I let go? How do I find happiness? The show concludes, attempting to have decoded Life through professing an understanding of what the shlokas and the verses from two great works, from two timeless cultures, have had to say centuries ago. In the end, the takeaway from Isha Rumi is what the absolute truth is all about: you – and I – are beyond form, beyond this worldly sojourn, beyond the experience of this lifetime, beyond our relationships, wealth, memories and, most important, our bodies. So, simply let go and live in the moment knowing that all that you see is impermanent. And ultimately, the unseen, but what is felt – your breath which keeps you ‘alive’ – and that which is formless, is who you truly are!The beauty of Sunaad’s concept, effort and inspiring delivery, lies in the fact that it shows, through a question-and-answer format, how simple Life, at the core, really is. We complicate Life by applying our academic, acquired intelligence to it. We call it science. We call it logic. And so we push away, actually reject, what is simple to hold, understand and internalize, and keep seeking, quite unnecessarily, more complex answers to what Life really means.
In the end, to be brutally honest in a real-world sense, Life may appear pointless. Because in this journey from a choice-less birth to an inevitable end, death, you always come with nothing and you will always go with nothing. So, when you can’t take anything with you, why acquire anything? When this body will eventually perish, why this attachment to the physical form? And that’s what the scriptures, in the case of Sunaad – Isha Rumi, really say. Real happiness lies in knowing that this lifetime is just a sum of several experiences. Some that give you immense joy. And some that challenge you with pain. You cannot prevent pain, but you can choose to avoid suffering by accepting the pain, letting go of your desire to control (your) Life, and moving on. Happiness really is accepting the Life you have, living in the moment and knowing that everything is impermanent – except the energy, your breath, that powers you and keeps you ‘alive’. And energy, as science has proven, is neither created nor destroyed.
So, don’t get vexed with this Who-am-I question? Know that the real you, your true Self, is indestructible. You are not your problems. Nor are you your wealth, qualifications, your assets and your physical form. Don’t get lost in, and consumed by, the rat race to earn, save and create material wealth. Your only wealth is your breath – what some call the soul and the others call the atman. This breath is formless. And is immortal. Without it nothing matters. And with it anything’s possible. So, stop worrying. Start living. And when you feel the way I do about Life, as Rumi’s followers – the swirling dervishes – would do, just get up and dance!
Life happens – and expresses itself – through you, not because of you
Every piece of art or work we create or do happens through us – not because of us. We, in fact, own nothing – not what we create, not what we buy and not what we cling on to!
Music maestro Illayaraaja has declared war on several audio labels and FM and TV stations for copyright violations of his classic songs. He says that his songs from the 70s, 80s and 90s were governed by contracts that have since expired. Any usage, he demands, of those songs must be done after entering into fresh contracts with him and after paying him royalties. He says he will share the royalties with film producers, lyricists and singers. In a business context Illayaraaja must be making the right moves and he has every right to protect his intellectual property. So I don’t really wish to comment on what he thinks is right for him and his work.Even so, on a spiritual plane, it is relevant to pause and reflect on whether at all we own anything. After all we came with nothing and will go with nothing. So why this high drama over ownership, intellectual property right and copyright? Why lose sleep over who owns what? Yes, we must protect our interests. We must surely work on monetizing them if we are capable and possess the acumen. But there’s no use really in losing sleep over any of this – especially if legal loopholes have been exploited by opportunists or if people have cheaply plagiarized your work. I am reminded of a beautiful Zen story. A Zen Master lived the simplest kind of Life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening, while he was away, a thief sneaked into the hut only to find that there was nothing in it to steal. The Zen Master returned early and found the thief in his hut. “You have come a long way to visit me,” he told the prowler, “and you should not return empty-handed. Please take my clothes as a gift.” The thief was bewildered, but he took the clothes nevertheless and ran away. The Master sat naked, watching the moon. “Poor fellow,” he thought to himself, “I wish I could give him this beautiful moon.” In a world full of opportunists and fly-by-night operators and plagiarists – who will go all out to lift ideas, work and opportunities – the Zen Master’s attitude is a good one to cultivate, especially if you value your inner peace.And if you find the Zen Master’s attitude too evolved and therefore removed from your own thinking, perhaps you may just want to consider internalizing what the Bhagavad Gita says. Here’s an extract (maybe not the most authentic but makes sense nevertheless) from the Gita Saram – The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita!
Whatever happened, it happened for the good.
Whatever is happening, is also happening for the good.
Whatever will happen, that too will be for the good.
What have you lost for which you cry?
What did you bring with you, which you have lost?
What did you produce, which has perished?
You did not bring anything with you when you were born.
Whatever you have taken, it is taken from here.
Whatever you have given, it is given here.
You came empty-handed and you will go the same way.
Whatever is yours today, will be somebody else's tomorrow
And it will be someone else’s another day.
This change is the law of the Universe.
The key to inner peace is to accept this change and live your Life with all humility. Know that you cause nothing – neither your successes, nor your failures. Life simply expresses itself through you. Whatever happens, whatever you create, happens through you and never because of you.
Whatever happened, it happened for the good.
Whatever is happening, is also happening for the good.
Whatever will happen, that too will be for the good.
What have you lost for which you cry?
What did you bring with you, which you have lost?
What did you produce, which has perished?
You did not bring anything with you when you were born.
Whatever you have taken, it is taken from here.
Whatever you have given, it is given here.
You came empty-handed and you will go the same way.
Whatever is yours today, will be somebody else's tomorrow
And it will be someone else’s another day.
This change is the law of the Universe.
The key to inner peace is to accept this change and live your Life with all humility. Know that you cause nothing – neither your successes, nor your failures. Life simply expresses itself through you. Whatever happens, whatever you create, happens through you and never because of you.
March 4, 2015
Forgive, even if you can’t forget, let go and move on!
When you end up having to fight someone or something, or plain injustice, don’t let emotion rule you. Being angry and emotional will only ruin your inner peace.
This morning’s Chennai Times reports Tamil lyricist Thamarai’s on-going protest against her husband Thiyagu. The couple have been estranged for a few months and Thamarai’s been on a sit-in protest with her son Samaran outside Thiyagu’s office for the last few days. She’s been demanding that her husband apologize to her and, possibly, reunite with her. The media has been full of stories of her protest. Today’s Chennai Times leads with this heading, a quote from Thamarai, for a story by Janani Karthik: “I need the 20 years I spent with my husband back.”
Samaran and Thamarai sit in protest
Picture Courtesy: InternetI felt sorry for Thamarai. Not just because she is having to grapple with a personal challenge. But also because someone as intelligent and as deeply soulful (her work in Tamil cinema in recent years is unputdownable) as she is, has lost her equanimity and is responding in such a futile manner to the situation. I am not even speaking in favor of or against either Thamarai or Thiyagu. I don’t know them. If we were to go by Thamarai’s version, Thiyagu left home in November last year and has been refusing to resume ties with her ever since. Clearly, it shows that the couple have stopped relating to each other. When there’s no relating between two people, what is the point in berating the relationship – that too in public? I feel sorry for Thamarai that she does not realize that her relationship with Thiyagu is dead. It’s over. Even if they come back together, it will be more for a social need than for experiencing the joy of being together. Also, by demanding something which cannot happen – wanting back the 20 years she spent with him – Thamarai is only causing herself more grief and agony. Which, although she claims otherwise, will affect her craft – something that is the bliss factor in her Life, something that she undoubtedly is a master of. In trying to shame Thiyagu and in trying to win the sympathy of her professional circle and of her fans, she’s simply on a mission to destroy her inner peace. In the context of a marital dispute, there are laws and the country’s family courts are more than equipped to sort out such an issue. In the context of her inner peace, she is only ruining it further by resisting what has already happened to her and failing to accept that her marriage with Thiaygu is, obviously, over! My advice, unsolicited obviously, to Thamarai is this: forgive, even if you can’t forget, simply let go and move on!
There’s a huge learning we can draw from l’affaire Thamarai. Very often in Life we may end up feeling let down, trampled upon, pissed on and passed over. We will want to avenge the person or the act or both. Every cell in our body will want revenge. After all, who can accept or tolerate injustice? This is when we must realize that the best way to win a battle is to not fight – emotionally – at all. Emotions only make any matter worse. By all means fight, but don’t respond emotionally. Chose a legal or sometimes a practical, strategic approach. Think through what you want. And act with a plan. Don’t react. In a dispute such as Thamarai’s and Thiyagu’s, public shaming will get neither party anywhere. Definitely not to feeling peaceful. Remember that people always do what they do because they feel they are right. In trying to tell someone that they are wrong, when they believe they are right, you may well end up burning a lot of your precious positive energy. You build up negativity and stress in you and, eventually, turn depressive. Instead if you approach the situation with peace, calm and – if possible, forgiveness, you will be able to operate with more clarity. When you are able to see the situation – and your Life – more clearly, you may really not want anything other than your inner peace. Most important, you may not want to fight at all. That’s when you will realize that there’s great value in forgiving someone, even if you can’t necessarily forget what they did to you!
This morning’s Chennai Times reports Tamil lyricist Thamarai’s on-going protest against her husband Thiyagu. The couple have been estranged for a few months and Thamarai’s been on a sit-in protest with her son Samaran outside Thiyagu’s office for the last few days. She’s been demanding that her husband apologize to her and, possibly, reunite with her. The media has been full of stories of her protest. Today’s Chennai Times leads with this heading, a quote from Thamarai, for a story by Janani Karthik: “I need the 20 years I spent with my husband back.”
Samaran and Thamarai sit in protestPicture Courtesy: InternetI felt sorry for Thamarai. Not just because she is having to grapple with a personal challenge. But also because someone as intelligent and as deeply soulful (her work in Tamil cinema in recent years is unputdownable) as she is, has lost her equanimity and is responding in such a futile manner to the situation. I am not even speaking in favor of or against either Thamarai or Thiyagu. I don’t know them. If we were to go by Thamarai’s version, Thiyagu left home in November last year and has been refusing to resume ties with her ever since. Clearly, it shows that the couple have stopped relating to each other. When there’s no relating between two people, what is the point in berating the relationship – that too in public? I feel sorry for Thamarai that she does not realize that her relationship with Thiyagu is dead. It’s over. Even if they come back together, it will be more for a social need than for experiencing the joy of being together. Also, by demanding something which cannot happen – wanting back the 20 years she spent with him – Thamarai is only causing herself more grief and agony. Which, although she claims otherwise, will affect her craft – something that is the bliss factor in her Life, something that she undoubtedly is a master of. In trying to shame Thiyagu and in trying to win the sympathy of her professional circle and of her fans, she’s simply on a mission to destroy her inner peace. In the context of a marital dispute, there are laws and the country’s family courts are more than equipped to sort out such an issue. In the context of her inner peace, she is only ruining it further by resisting what has already happened to her and failing to accept that her marriage with Thiaygu is, obviously, over! My advice, unsolicited obviously, to Thamarai is this: forgive, even if you can’t forget, simply let go and move on!
There’s a huge learning we can draw from l’affaire Thamarai. Very often in Life we may end up feeling let down, trampled upon, pissed on and passed over. We will want to avenge the person or the act or both. Every cell in our body will want revenge. After all, who can accept or tolerate injustice? This is when we must realize that the best way to win a battle is to not fight – emotionally – at all. Emotions only make any matter worse. By all means fight, but don’t respond emotionally. Chose a legal or sometimes a practical, strategic approach. Think through what you want. And act with a plan. Don’t react. In a dispute such as Thamarai’s and Thiyagu’s, public shaming will get neither party anywhere. Definitely not to feeling peaceful. Remember that people always do what they do because they feel they are right. In trying to tell someone that they are wrong, when they believe they are right, you may well end up burning a lot of your precious positive energy. You build up negativity and stress in you and, eventually, turn depressive. Instead if you approach the situation with peace, calm and – if possible, forgiveness, you will be able to operate with more clarity. When you are able to see the situation – and your Life – more clearly, you may really not want anything other than your inner peace. Most important, you may not want to fight at all. That’s when you will realize that there’s great value in forgiving someone, even if you can’t necessarily forget what they did to you!
March 3, 2015
Celebrate creation’s essence, the Godliness, in you!
The beauty of Life lies in understanding that you have both the ‘essence’ and ‘presence’ of creation – a.k.a God – in you.
We are all created with the essence of God in us. Yet, not realizing this miraculous grace, we continuously seek God’s presence in our lives. We run from temple to mosque to church. From idols to godmen. Resultantly, we grieve. Because how can you find what you seek outside of you, when all along, it is within you? The presence of creation, of God, according to me, can be found only when we are present in the NOW. Life’s what’s happening to you right now. Are you there? When you are in the now, you can feel the Godliness in you. You can experience the miracle called you. You can see the manifestation of the Universe’s creative energy in you. The ‘essence’ of this energy is your ability to see, hear, touch, feel, speak, move about, apply your mind, feel love, touch another Life. Without this energy, we would all merely exist like a rock does. The fact that you are able to live a Life apart from, and beyond, inanimate objects, which are also manifestations of creation, is evidence of the Godliness in you. So, stop seeking the presence of a God outside of you. Look within, and you will find all that you need. Osho, the Master, said this simply yet profoundly, “There’s no God. Only Godliness.” Celebrate creation’s essence, the Godliness, in you! Have a great day ahead!
We are all created with the essence of God in us. Yet, not realizing this miraculous grace, we continuously seek God’s presence in our lives. We run from temple to mosque to church. From idols to godmen. Resultantly, we grieve. Because how can you find what you seek outside of you, when all along, it is within you? The presence of creation, of God, according to me, can be found only when we are present in the NOW. Life’s what’s happening to you right now. Are you there? When you are in the now, you can feel the Godliness in you. You can experience the miracle called you. You can see the manifestation of the Universe’s creative energy in you. The ‘essence’ of this energy is your ability to see, hear, touch, feel, speak, move about, apply your mind, feel love, touch another Life. Without this energy, we would all merely exist like a rock does. The fact that you are able to live a Life apart from, and beyond, inanimate objects, which are also manifestations of creation, is evidence of the Godliness in you. So, stop seeking the presence of a God outside of you. Look within, and you will find all that you need. Osho, the Master, said this simply yet profoundly, “There’s no God. Only Godliness.” Celebrate creation’s essence, the Godliness, in you! Have a great day ahead!Real faith is when you can live in the darkness and know that there “will” be light
Faith requires no special sacrifices. Just complete mindfulness.
In the darkest of hours, when the chips are down, and you are up against a big, huge wall, it is normal for you to get tense, for your mind to get distracted with worries and imagine scary, ‘what if’scenarios. You are feeling that way because you are no longer mindful. Your sense of grief is arising from the fact that what you wanted to happen is not happening. Instead, you begin to fear, that something unplanned, unexpected may take over your Life. Mindfulness helps you stay in the present. The present moment may be indeed stark, but when you are mindful you realize that your future state has not yet arrived. So, you begin to see the futility in being worried and fearful – why fear something which is not there?
Let us say that you are expecting a raise. Just then there’s news that recession has hit your industry and that your company is likely to announce layoffs and freeze pay hikes. Now, your vacation plans, your idea of applying for a mortgage loan on your house and some investment options you have been considering are possibly likely to go on the back burner. You begin to worry. While the reality looks grim there need not be any truth in your fear that your raise will not come through. It is your fear of what you think is a likely consequence that makes you worry. Mindfulness helps you here. When you are mindful, you learn to stay with the reality, accepting it as it is. While at the same time it also teaches you to greet any fresh reality__like your imagined future or otherwise__
only
when it arrives, not before that.
This attitude, really, is what faith is all about. Many people will tell you that faith is about fasting, about going to temples, to places of worship, about abstinence and about talismans. But real faith is when you can continue to live in the darkness, appreciate the darkness and yet never imagine that darkness can ever submerge light. In fact, just the opposite is true. Only light can remove darkness. So, if you want to get out of any hopeless situation, imagining that the situation will finish you is indeed poor thinking and you are causing yourself to be fearful and stressful. Faith demands that you think intelligently. With faith, anything is possible!
Let us say that you are expecting a raise. Just then there’s news that recession has hit your industry and that your company is likely to announce layoffs and freeze pay hikes. Now, your vacation plans, your idea of applying for a mortgage loan on your house and some investment options you have been considering are possibly likely to go on the back burner. You begin to worry. While the reality looks grim there need not be any truth in your fear that your raise will not come through. It is your fear of what you think is a likely consequence that makes you worry. Mindfulness helps you here. When you are mindful, you learn to stay with the reality, accepting it as it is. While at the same time it also teaches you to greet any fresh reality__like your imagined future or otherwise__
only
when it arrives, not before that. This attitude, really, is what faith is all about. Many people will tell you that faith is about fasting, about going to temples, to places of worship, about abstinence and about talismans. But real faith is when you can continue to live in the darkness, appreciate the darkness and yet never imagine that darkness can ever submerge light. In fact, just the opposite is true. Only light can remove darkness. So, if you want to get out of any hopeless situation, imagining that the situation will finish you is indeed poor thinking and you are causing yourself to be fearful and stressful. Faith demands that you think intelligently. With faith, anything is possible!
