AVIS Viswanathan's Blog, page 10
December 14, 2015
To my doctor, with love…
Be grateful to all those who have contributed to you getting this far in Life.
It may appear that you have achieved a lot on your own steam, but when you pause to reflect on how much others have contributed to your journey, you will be soaked in gratitude and humility!
The obituary section in The Hindu caught my attention this morning. The doctor who had delivered me, 48 years ago, had passed on yesterday. Interestingly, Dr.Rukmani Sourirajan, had delivered all my mother’s three children – me, my brother and my sister. I remember meeting her last at her maternity home in Dhandapani Street, T.Nagar, in February 1978, when my sister was born. A wave of gratitude came over me when I saw her obituary announcement. Surely I have to be grateful for what she has done for me, my siblings and my mother – each of us could have been poorly handled, yet none of us has had any delivery-stage complications.
That thought led to me reflect deeper. There are so, so many people who have contributed, and continue to contribute, to my growth and evolution as a person. And that means if I started thanking each one of them, I would probably run out of time and space. This is not just true for me. It is so true for all of us – all the time! Which is why, as Meister Eckhart (1260~1328) has wisely said, “If the only prayer that you say in your entire Life is ‘Thank You’, it is enough!”
Yet, caught in the rat race of everyday survival, gratitude often takes a backseat. In spirit we are willing to be grateful, but in practice we are not – because we are so consumed by our Life and our problems.
I lean heavily on the Sanskrit phrase “Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam” when I offer my prayer of gratitude each day. The phrase teaches us to offer our reverence in the order of mother first, father next, teacher after that and God last. It may appear – especially to those who know me or have read my Book “Fall Like A Rose Petal” – that I can’t be serious when I say I am grateful to my mother, especially when I openly concede that I have a poor chemistry with her. I see the issue of poor chemistry and the principle of gratitude as two separate things – just because I don’t agree with my mother on several counts does not mean I am not grateful to her for bringing me into this world, for teaching me the alphabet, for raising me and giving me a basic education. I find this practice of saying, “Mother, Father, Teacher, Life (to me, Life = God) – I thank you!”,during my daily mouna (silence periods) sessions, very, very liberating. It calms me down and keeps me grounded.
Undoubtedly, each experience in your Life has had another’s contribution in it. It’s very humbling to know that you are not a sum of all your so-called achievements – your qualifications, your wealth, your material assets and such – but that you are actually a sum of all your experiences and learnings. When I saw Dr.Sourirajan’s obituary announcement this morning, I was reminded, yet again, that my efforts are so inconsequential and incomplete to my own Life – without the contributions of so many other people over the years! To that doctor, in gratitude today, I send all my love…!
The obituary section in The Hindu caught my attention this morning. The doctor who had delivered me, 48 years ago, had passed on yesterday. Interestingly, Dr.Rukmani Sourirajan, had delivered all my mother’s three children – me, my brother and my sister. I remember meeting her last at her maternity home in Dhandapani Street, T.Nagar, in February 1978, when my sister was born. A wave of gratitude came over me when I saw her obituary announcement. Surely I have to be grateful for what she has done for me, my siblings and my mother – each of us could have been poorly handled, yet none of us has had any delivery-stage complications. That thought led to me reflect deeper. There are so, so many people who have contributed, and continue to contribute, to my growth and evolution as a person. And that means if I started thanking each one of them, I would probably run out of time and space. This is not just true for me. It is so true for all of us – all the time! Which is why, as Meister Eckhart (1260~1328) has wisely said, “If the only prayer that you say in your entire Life is ‘Thank You’, it is enough!”
Yet, caught in the rat race of everyday survival, gratitude often takes a backseat. In spirit we are willing to be grateful, but in practice we are not – because we are so consumed by our Life and our problems.
I lean heavily on the Sanskrit phrase “Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam” when I offer my prayer of gratitude each day. The phrase teaches us to offer our reverence in the order of mother first, father next, teacher after that and God last. It may appear – especially to those who know me or have read my Book “Fall Like A Rose Petal” – that I can’t be serious when I say I am grateful to my mother, especially when I openly concede that I have a poor chemistry with her. I see the issue of poor chemistry and the principle of gratitude as two separate things – just because I don’t agree with my mother on several counts does not mean I am not grateful to her for bringing me into this world, for teaching me the alphabet, for raising me and giving me a basic education. I find this practice of saying, “Mother, Father, Teacher, Life (to me, Life = God) – I thank you!”,during my daily mouna (silence periods) sessions, very, very liberating. It calms me down and keeps me grounded.
Undoubtedly, each experience in your Life has had another’s contribution in it. It’s very humbling to know that you are not a sum of all your so-called achievements – your qualifications, your wealth, your material assets and such – but that you are actually a sum of all your experiences and learnings. When I saw Dr.Sourirajan’s obituary announcement this morning, I was reminded, yet again, that my efforts are so inconsequential and incomplete to my own Life – without the contributions of so many other people over the years! To that doctor, in gratitude today, I send all my love…!
December 13, 2015
Your past can be your teacher
In hindsight, all of us are wise. The key is to learn from experiences and not either cling on to grief or guilt.
A recent issue of TIME magazine carries an interview with ace golfer Tiger Woods. Lorne Rubenstein asks him: “Your private Life was exposed in 2009. What would you have done differently?” And Woods replies: “In hindsight, it’s not how I would change 2009 and how it all came about. It would be having a more open, honest relationship with my ex-wife. The relationship that I have now with her is fantastic. She’s one of my best friends. We’re able to pick up the phone, and we talk all the time. We both know that the most important things in our lives are our kids. I wish I would have known that back then.”
Woods nails it. It is very important to pause, reflect and internalize what you can learn from a past – any – experience. With reflection, and introspection, grief and guilt may arise. But you must develop the ability to stay detached from these debilitating emotions. You must look at your own Life – and the past – dispassionately. Ask yourself if there is any point in brooding or feeling angry and guilty? There really isn’t! Once you realize the futility of harboring these emotions, you let them go. This does not mean you don’t either feel them or don’t learn from them. You will feel them. And you can learn from them. But just don’t get bogged down by them!
The past always teaches you – something about you and about Life! The past can also hold you hostage. It is up to you whether you want your past be your teacher or your captor!
A recent issue of TIME magazine carries an interview with ace golfer Tiger Woods. Lorne Rubenstein asks him: “Your private Life was exposed in 2009. What would you have done differently?” And Woods replies: “In hindsight, it’s not how I would change 2009 and how it all came about. It would be having a more open, honest relationship with my ex-wife. The relationship that I have now with her is fantastic. She’s one of my best friends. We’re able to pick up the phone, and we talk all the time. We both know that the most important things in our lives are our kids. I wish I would have known that back then.”
Woods nails it. It is very important to pause, reflect and internalize what you can learn from a past – any – experience. With reflection, and introspection, grief and guilt may arise. But you must develop the ability to stay detached from these debilitating emotions. You must look at your own Life – and the past – dispassionately. Ask yourself if there is any point in brooding or feeling angry and guilty? There really isn’t! Once you realize the futility of harboring these emotions, you let them go. This does not mean you don’t either feel them or don’t learn from them. You will feel them. And you can learn from them. But just don’t get bogged down by them!The past always teaches you – something about you and about Life! The past can also hold you hostage. It is up to you whether you want your past be your teacher or your captor!
December 12, 2015
Rafa’s lessons on Life and Peak Performance
Living in the past, wishing that things were different from the way they were or are, not only causes our suffering, but also makes us mediocre.
Photo Courtesy: Times of India/InternetYesterday’s Times of India and Economic Times had interviews with Rafael Nadal. His answers to a couple of questions establish a deep linkage, yet again, between spirituality and high-performance.
TOI asked Nadal: Talking about your worst losses, do you think it is tough getting over them and how do you prepare yourself after the loss?
And he replied: I am a very good loser. I always accept losses very well. We lose more than we win. Every week, just one player wins and the rest lose. You need to accept that and be positive and see where you can improve. For sure, the family helps but I am a good loser and I'm not a guy who becomes sad for three weeks after losing. I accept it and move on.
ET’s Boria Majumdar asked Nadal: You have been plagued by many injuries in recent times. Have you ever thought that had it not been for injuries where would you be today? Perhaps a few more Grand Slams, perhaps a higher ranking?
And he replied: Injuries are part and parcel of a sportsman's Life. They will happen. Having said that I don't always think about them or about what could have been.
There is a direct connection between inner peace, happiness and peak performance. You may be able to perform at the top of your game a few time based on your talent and potential, but you need to have a Nadal-like spiritual perspective to stay at the top and remain relevant consistently. This, I say, is not just true for sport – it is as true in any walk of Life. The sum and substance of what Nadal told TOI and ET is this: There will be ups and downs in Life. Don’t get bogged down by what could have been or what isn’t there. Just accept what is and move on.
High performers go beyond hard work. They know the value of inner peace and happiness. They know that both of these come with acceptance of what is – and that includes failure! They know that their peak performance depends on how anchored and peaceful they are.
The truth is that each of us is capable of high performance in our chosen fields. But we rarely achieve our peaks or sustain them only because we are going by social definitions of who we are and what we are doing or have done. To be able to do very well, what you love doing, just don’t brood over what’s dead – the past! Keep moving on.
Photo Courtesy: Times of India/InternetYesterday’s Times of India and Economic Times had interviews with Rafael Nadal. His answers to a couple of questions establish a deep linkage, yet again, between spirituality and high-performance. TOI asked Nadal: Talking about your worst losses, do you think it is tough getting over them and how do you prepare yourself after the loss?
And he replied: I am a very good loser. I always accept losses very well. We lose more than we win. Every week, just one player wins and the rest lose. You need to accept that and be positive and see where you can improve. For sure, the family helps but I am a good loser and I'm not a guy who becomes sad for three weeks after losing. I accept it and move on.
ET’s Boria Majumdar asked Nadal: You have been plagued by many injuries in recent times. Have you ever thought that had it not been for injuries where would you be today? Perhaps a few more Grand Slams, perhaps a higher ranking?
And he replied: Injuries are part and parcel of a sportsman's Life. They will happen. Having said that I don't always think about them or about what could have been.
There is a direct connection between inner peace, happiness and peak performance. You may be able to perform at the top of your game a few time based on your talent and potential, but you need to have a Nadal-like spiritual perspective to stay at the top and remain relevant consistently. This, I say, is not just true for sport – it is as true in any walk of Life. The sum and substance of what Nadal told TOI and ET is this: There will be ups and downs in Life. Don’t get bogged down by what could have been or what isn’t there. Just accept what is and move on.
High performers go beyond hard work. They know the value of inner peace and happiness. They know that both of these come with acceptance of what is – and that includes failure! They know that their peak performance depends on how anchored and peaceful they are.
The truth is that each of us is capable of high performance in our chosen fields. But we rarely achieve our peaks or sustain them only because we are going by social definitions of who we are and what we are doing or have done. To be able to do very well, what you love doing, just don’t brood over what’s dead – the past! Keep moving on.
December 11, 2015
When you have to, don’t BS, just say it as it is
The biggest opportunity you have with you, to preserve your inner peace and happiness, is to say “No”! Just leverage it.
A recent acquaintance who lives in another city in India reached out to us. We have barely known her for a week. She’s an entrepreneur and a very well groomed, warm and erudite person. Interestingly, we haven’t met her. The introduction and subsequent conversations have all been over email and phone. Over those interactions, which happened almost daily for five consecutive days, we realized that she was quite pushy and was keen to have her view on things, people and events around her. She wanted us to help her contribute to victims of Chennai Floods. Which was fine. And we did whatever was within our means by referring her to two organizations we know that, among several others, are leading the efforts on that front: Bhoomika Trust and Hand in Hand India. She wasn’t very convinced with our recommendation because she wanted to connect with beneficiaries so she can help them directly. That was something, we reckoned, which we were neither comfortable doing nor competent to do. Having known about us through a newspaper article that appeared recently, during one of our conversations, she said that Vaani and I held several limiting beliefs – “which is why you both are still mired in debt”. Over the years, we have understood that people have a right to their opinions and so we don’t either take any opinion amiss or make efforts to erase such opinion. We say what we have to say and leave it. Then, a couple of days ago, this lady came up with a request over email – to provide some business-related logistical support for her customer in Chennai. We politely wrote back saying we can’t help her with that request and that we would appreciate if she spared us of such requests in future. It is possible the mail ticked her off. Because we haven’t heard from her since!But here’s the point: when someone is trying to push you to do – or say or accept – something that you don’t want to, and when your earnest and polite suggestions make no impact, just say “NO”. Just say it as it is. Remember: between how you will feel doing what you don’t want to do, and how the other person will feel hearing your “No”, your feelings are more important to your inner peace!
Now, this advice does not apply to situations involving rank strangers or acquaintances alone. It applies to anyone who wants you to do something you don’t like doing – could be a boss, a colleague, neighbor, friend, family or whoever. You don’t have to be rude. You just have to be firm. Ideally a diplomatic “No” should help the other person get the message. But sometimes people are so consumed by their views and opinions of others or they are so immersed in what they want achieved that they end up being unnecessarily pushy. This does not mean they are “bad” folks. They are just the way they are. And the best way to get the message across to such people is to never BS. Just say it as it is. As someone, wisely, has said, “The shortest distance between two points (of view) is a straight line.” Walk that line. Say “No” when you have to. Or, simply, never say “Yes” when you want to say “No”! Now, that’s the lil’ secret to protecting your inner peace.
In all this ‘tamasha’, never stop being yourself!
All Life is pure drama. If you love Shakespeare, you can even call it a ‘comedy of errors’. The only way to get through this drama, this lifetime, happily, is to be yourself!
Yesterday we watched Imtiaz Ali’s just-released Tamasha(Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone). It’s a simple story of a young man Ved who is caught between what his heart yearns for and what, he believes, the/(his) world wants him to be. Ved can be anybody – you, me, anyone. And the battle he faces within himself is the Kurukshetra we all wage, as Ali points out, between diland duniya. Ved doesn’t realize anything is amiss in his robotic Life, in his running the rat race, until Tara red flags him and tells him to take a hard look at himself. The refreshingly original romance between Ved and Tara, that travels from Corsica to New Delhi to Tokyo, is but a beautiful backdrop. The real story is about us. It is about anyone who is merely ‘earning a living’, running a meaningless race – monotonously. Ali doesn’t say it explicitly but his work echoes Osho’s, the Master’s, philosophy: “Between birth and death, when you came with nothing and will go with nothing, all Life is just pure drama. Why do you want to not be yourself? Live your Life! Why do you want to live a lie for the sake of the world?” Ved soon realizes that he’s been living a lie and awakens to follow his bliss. In doing that, he comes alive, finding himself, finding purpose, happiness and love!
Ali’s Tamasha can be what Tara is to Ved. If you are searching for meaning, for happiness, in your Life, Tamasha can perhaps help you find your way.
Watching the movie I was reminded of what American mythologist and author Joseph Campbell (1904~1987) has said: “The privilege of this lifetime is being who you are.” To be sure, Campbell was the first person to articulate what zillions before him, and many, many zillions after him, have always felt or yearned for or believed in. He invited you to “follow your bliss”! Vaani and I have been running a very popular non-commercial Event Series called “The Bliss Catchers” each month at the Odyssey Bookstore in Adyar, Chennai. The Event Series focuses on people who have had the courage to give up “safe and predictable” careers to go do what they love doing. Through the past 11 months of anchoring this Event Series we have not just had the opportunity to learn from the lives and stories of our guests, we have also seen members of the audience blossom into Bliss Catchers! For instance, a senior business leader at a large IT corporation quit his job and has been pursuing a Master’s degree in a language he loves – Sanskrit. A young aspiring film-maker has not only found himself a job that allows him the luxury of time to watch a movie a day, he has actually made a short film – shooting it on his mobile phone! For Vaani and me bliss is just doing anything which is in the realm of inspiring people to be happy. So, I wrote my Book, Fall Like A Rose Petal (Westland, August 2014), we do non-commercial events to inspire happiness – in Life and at work, I write my Blog daily and I am working on my second Book, The Happiness Road. We live by a simple principle: it is only one Life we have; let us live it being who we are, being happy!
The topline and bottomline in Life is simply this: It is all a drama. A tamasha. So, don’t get carried away by what the world is saying and wanting you to be. Between dil and duniya, choose to be led by your dil, follow your bliss and be who you are!
Yesterday we watched Imtiaz Ali’s just-released Tamasha(Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone). It’s a simple story of a young man Ved who is caught between what his heart yearns for and what, he believes, the/(his) world wants him to be. Ved can be anybody – you, me, anyone. And the battle he faces within himself is the Kurukshetra we all wage, as Ali points out, between diland duniya. Ved doesn’t realize anything is amiss in his robotic Life, in his running the rat race, until Tara red flags him and tells him to take a hard look at himself. The refreshingly original romance between Ved and Tara, that travels from Corsica to New Delhi to Tokyo, is but a beautiful backdrop. The real story is about us. It is about anyone who is merely ‘earning a living’, running a meaningless race – monotonously. Ali doesn’t say it explicitly but his work echoes Osho’s, the Master’s, philosophy: “Between birth and death, when you came with nothing and will go with nothing, all Life is just pure drama. Why do you want to not be yourself? Live your Life! Why do you want to live a lie for the sake of the world?” Ved soon realizes that he’s been living a lie and awakens to follow his bliss. In doing that, he comes alive, finding himself, finding purpose, happiness and love! Ali’s Tamasha can be what Tara is to Ved. If you are searching for meaning, for happiness, in your Life, Tamasha can perhaps help you find your way.
Watching the movie I was reminded of what American mythologist and author Joseph Campbell (1904~1987) has said: “The privilege of this lifetime is being who you are.” To be sure, Campbell was the first person to articulate what zillions before him, and many, many zillions after him, have always felt or yearned for or believed in. He invited you to “follow your bliss”! Vaani and I have been running a very popular non-commercial Event Series called “The Bliss Catchers” each month at the Odyssey Bookstore in Adyar, Chennai. The Event Series focuses on people who have had the courage to give up “safe and predictable” careers to go do what they love doing. Through the past 11 months of anchoring this Event Series we have not just had the opportunity to learn from the lives and stories of our guests, we have also seen members of the audience blossom into Bliss Catchers! For instance, a senior business leader at a large IT corporation quit his job and has been pursuing a Master’s degree in a language he loves – Sanskrit. A young aspiring film-maker has not only found himself a job that allows him the luxury of time to watch a movie a day, he has actually made a short film – shooting it on his mobile phone! For Vaani and me bliss is just doing anything which is in the realm of inspiring people to be happy. So, I wrote my Book, Fall Like A Rose Petal (Westland, August 2014), we do non-commercial events to inspire happiness – in Life and at work, I write my Blog daily and I am working on my second Book, The Happiness Road. We live by a simple principle: it is only one Life we have; let us live it being who we are, being happy!
The topline and bottomline in Life is simply this: It is all a drama. A tamasha. So, don’t get carried away by what the world is saying and wanting you to be. Between dil and duniya, choose to be led by your dil, follow your bliss and be who you are!
December 9, 2015
Feeling incomplete and restless? Don’t try connecting the dots!
There will be times in Life when everything will seem so unstuck, so unsure, so unpredictable. Whenever you feel this way, don’t let it all cook within you – just turn around and go to sleep!
Last night when I lay down to sleep, I felt the same way myself.
I had been watching Rang De Basanti(Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra, 2006) for the umpteenth time on TV – somehow the move never tires you out; it instead grows on you. In the wake of the Chennai Floods, every issue that DJ and his friends raise in the movie, made me feel very disturbed. Since there is a strong apprehension among most people in Chennai that the floods were a result of poor decision-making by the authorities concerned, issues like lack of accountability, leadership and collective public action to challenge and change status quo – magnified by the RDBviewing – made me restless. And then there is our enduring bankruptcy and the uncertain future looming large: of dealing with every day – practical, survival-related – challenges as 2016 arrives. We are yet to begin repaying our debt and the discomfort of living with – and in – such a seemingly-endless situation is immense. Our daughter’s graduate studies are coming up in 2016 and our son has a niggling medical condition that needs attention. My end of the family still chooses to remain estranged, while we don’t have the means yet to financially reciprocate all the day-to-day support that Vaani’s end of the family provides us.
Phew! Sometimes, I just wish that all this incompleteness – and the restlessness it causes – simply dissolves. Yes, I am human too.
That’s when I recalled a learning that my college mate from Kerala, Rajmohan Pillai, of the Beta Group, had shared with me some years ago. He had told me, while buying me and Vaani a multigrain sub at a Subway in Nungambakkam, Chennai: “Vaani and AVIS, don’t try to solve all your problems all at once. You simply can’t. Just be at them, just be; and over time, they will all get resolved.” I never understood the import of what Rajmohan was teaching us when he first said this. But over the years, I have greatly valued his advice.
So, I just turned off the TV and went to sleep. I slept well.
My practice of mouna (daily silence periods) and my spiritual evolution has helped me realize the futility of worrying. So, last night, I wasn’t worrying. Yes those worrisome thoughts were arising. But I was choosing to remain unaffected by them. Yet, there is an incompleteness I felt. And, from experience, let me tell you feeling incomplete at such times is very natural. The human mind craves for so much control on Life situations. But Life is more powerful. She can never quite be tamed. We often don’t understand this truth about Life and respond to such incompleteness in one of two – or both – ways: we worry and/or we connect the dots of all that is wrong with our Life and magnify a pimple to look like a tumor! Both responses are futile – worrying cannot solve problems and linking all your problems up only confounds an already complex situation!
The best way, I have learnt, is to switch off the mind when it goes into an overdrive on either – or both – fronts. To switch off the mind, you must just live in the present. The mind can only thrive when it is generating thoughts from the dead past or predicting the unknown future. In the present the mind is powerless. Last night, since even my attempt to be in the present – watching RDB – turned out to be disturbing me, I simply went to sleep. And I believe there’s nothing wrong with that choice. Let’s understand that each problem in Life is unique. Each one has a tenure. No problem in your Life – or mine – is going away unless it has served its time – and purpose! So, when you can’t solve a problem with your (human) intellect, agonizing over it is of no use. You simply have to try again – and again and again and again – with a fresh perspective, with renewed energy and vigor.
As I go down to work on my Life and its myriad, incomplete, situations, I wish you too luck. If we can’t immediately solve our problems, let’s at least avoid connecting the dots and making everything seem menacing and scary! This is the only way to inner peace and strength when you are in the throes of a storm!
Last night when I lay down to sleep, I felt the same way myself.
I had been watching Rang De Basanti(Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra, 2006) for the umpteenth time on TV – somehow the move never tires you out; it instead grows on you. In the wake of the Chennai Floods, every issue that DJ and his friends raise in the movie, made me feel very disturbed. Since there is a strong apprehension among most people in Chennai that the floods were a result of poor decision-making by the authorities concerned, issues like lack of accountability, leadership and collective public action to challenge and change status quo – magnified by the RDBviewing – made me restless. And then there is our enduring bankruptcy and the uncertain future looming large: of dealing with every day – practical, survival-related – challenges as 2016 arrives. We are yet to begin repaying our debt and the discomfort of living with – and in – such a seemingly-endless situation is immense. Our daughter’s graduate studies are coming up in 2016 and our son has a niggling medical condition that needs attention. My end of the family still chooses to remain estranged, while we don’t have the means yet to financially reciprocate all the day-to-day support that Vaani’s end of the family provides us.
Phew! Sometimes, I just wish that all this incompleteness – and the restlessness it causes – simply dissolves. Yes, I am human too.
That’s when I recalled a learning that my college mate from Kerala, Rajmohan Pillai, of the Beta Group, had shared with me some years ago. He had told me, while buying me and Vaani a multigrain sub at a Subway in Nungambakkam, Chennai: “Vaani and AVIS, don’t try to solve all your problems all at once. You simply can’t. Just be at them, just be; and over time, they will all get resolved.” I never understood the import of what Rajmohan was teaching us when he first said this. But over the years, I have greatly valued his advice.
So, I just turned off the TV and went to sleep. I slept well.
My practice of mouna (daily silence periods) and my spiritual evolution has helped me realize the futility of worrying. So, last night, I wasn’t worrying. Yes those worrisome thoughts were arising. But I was choosing to remain unaffected by them. Yet, there is an incompleteness I felt. And, from experience, let me tell you feeling incomplete at such times is very natural. The human mind craves for so much control on Life situations. But Life is more powerful. She can never quite be tamed. We often don’t understand this truth about Life and respond to such incompleteness in one of two – or both – ways: we worry and/or we connect the dots of all that is wrong with our Life and magnify a pimple to look like a tumor! Both responses are futile – worrying cannot solve problems and linking all your problems up only confounds an already complex situation! The best way, I have learnt, is to switch off the mind when it goes into an overdrive on either – or both – fronts. To switch off the mind, you must just live in the present. The mind can only thrive when it is generating thoughts from the dead past or predicting the unknown future. In the present the mind is powerless. Last night, since even my attempt to be in the present – watching RDB – turned out to be disturbing me, I simply went to sleep. And I believe there’s nothing wrong with that choice. Let’s understand that each problem in Life is unique. Each one has a tenure. No problem in your Life – or mine – is going away unless it has served its time – and purpose! So, when you can’t solve a problem with your (human) intellect, agonizing over it is of no use. You simply have to try again – and again and again and again – with a fresh perspective, with renewed energy and vigor.
As I go down to work on my Life and its myriad, incomplete, situations, I wish you too luck. If we can’t immediately solve our problems, let’s at least avoid connecting the dots and making everything seem menacing and scary! This is the only way to inner peace and strength when you are in the throes of a storm!
December 8, 2015
Be willing. Be thirsty. Your teacher too will appear!
Anyone can be your teacher.
Or, simply, you can learn from anyone in Life provided you are “willing and thirsty”.
Several years ago, when I was frustrated with the losses in my business, and was particularly agitated over a client's refusal to pay us a large sum of money that they owed us, I sank heavily into the chair at my favorite hair dresser's. Those were times when I had a shock of hair adorning my head that need frequent tending. Ramalingam, my hair dresser, taught me a lesson that afternoon, almost intuitively without my even asking for him. “You look disturbed. Life’s success lies not in how much money we earn. But is in being able to live in this world and yet be above it.” He went on to substantiate this lesson with profound story-telling, sharing nuggets of wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita and from some Puranic tales.
Ramalingam: My TeacherI have become Ramalingam's humble student over the years even as he has remained my favorite hair dresser. I don't have much hair left on my head anymore, but I still go to Ramalingam every once in a while. He has lost his son to a hit-and-run accident and says he still remembers the boy passing away in his arms on the road. He leads a simple Life__anchored in prayer, doing great quality work and sharing his experiences enlightening others. He talks to me each time on a different dimension of Life offering a learning which no textbook can teach.
On a recent visit, I asked him what does he think when he is working. It must be a monotonous job, I reasoned, to cut people’s hair. Ramalingam replied, “I don't think of anything else when I am cutting hair. When I cut, I cut. When I am talking to a guest, who chats me up, while cutting his hair, I am talking. When I share a philosophy, I just share. Thinking spoils the doing.” I asked him once, with his experience, didn’t he want to set up shop of his own instead of being an employee at a branded salon? He replied with astonishing wisdom: “We must not just work towards being the best in the world Sir, we must work towards being best for the world. I believe I am best for the world I live and work in. That gives me immense pride and joy.”
There’s a Buddhist proverb that says, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Be willing. Be thirsty. Your teacher too will appear! And hold your hand to walk alongside you to help you to be the best for your world!
Several years ago, when I was frustrated with the losses in my business, and was particularly agitated over a client's refusal to pay us a large sum of money that they owed us, I sank heavily into the chair at my favorite hair dresser's. Those were times when I had a shock of hair adorning my head that need frequent tending. Ramalingam, my hair dresser, taught me a lesson that afternoon, almost intuitively without my even asking for him. “You look disturbed. Life’s success lies not in how much money we earn. But is in being able to live in this world and yet be above it.” He went on to substantiate this lesson with profound story-telling, sharing nuggets of wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita and from some Puranic tales.
Ramalingam: My TeacherI have become Ramalingam's humble student over the years even as he has remained my favorite hair dresser. I don't have much hair left on my head anymore, but I still go to Ramalingam every once in a while. He has lost his son to a hit-and-run accident and says he still remembers the boy passing away in his arms on the road. He leads a simple Life__anchored in prayer, doing great quality work and sharing his experiences enlightening others. He talks to me each time on a different dimension of Life offering a learning which no textbook can teach. On a recent visit, I asked him what does he think when he is working. It must be a monotonous job, I reasoned, to cut people’s hair. Ramalingam replied, “I don't think of anything else when I am cutting hair. When I cut, I cut. When I am talking to a guest, who chats me up, while cutting his hair, I am talking. When I share a philosophy, I just share. Thinking spoils the doing.” I asked him once, with his experience, didn’t he want to set up shop of his own instead of being an employee at a branded salon? He replied with astonishing wisdom: “We must not just work towards being the best in the world Sir, we must work towards being best for the world. I believe I am best for the world I live and work in. That gives me immense pride and joy.”
There’s a Buddhist proverb that says, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Be willing. Be thirsty. Your teacher too will appear! And hold your hand to walk alongside you to help you to be the best for your world!
December 7, 2015
Why the Madras Music Festival must go on
No matter what, Life goes on…and so every show must go on too!
Since the Chennai floods arrived around the same time that the famous annual Madras Music Festival was set to begin last week, there is considerable debate on whether artistes and sabhas should go ahead with the festival this season.
I believe they should. The Festival must go on.
However, the choice to perform or not must be with left to the artistes. If they feel like performing, they must. And if they don’t feel like it, they may like not to! To be sure, the Dhananjayans, Vijay Siva, Bombay Jayashri and a few others have chosen not to perform. And yet Sanjay Subrahmanyam performed yesterday.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with either choice. Music, if anything, is a form of expression of inner joy. Undoubtedly, all artistes, like everyone else is, are tormented by the floods in Chennai and the havoc it has caused in the lives of her citizens. While some artistes may want to immerse themselves in their music at this time, to get over their feeling of grief or to invoke their inner peace, others may not be able to bring themselves up to sing. And we must respect their individual choices and sentiments. Having said that, we must not forget that music has enormous healing power when it is performed as an offering to the Universe. No artiste really performs just for money or fame. They fundamentally perform because they lose themselves to the act of performing. When music, in fact when any work or service, is delivered with such selflessness, when it is an invocation and not just a mere stage performance, it heals. What Chennai – and the world at large – needs now is healing. In my humble opinion, going ahead with the Madras Music Festival this season would be not just right and apt, it will be hugely healing as well.
And, irrespective of what artistes and sabhas decide over this week, on what they want to do, let us not judge anyone. After all, all our lives will go on. They have to go on. Weddings will happen – given the season’s muhurthams already having been calibrated per an almanac – people will go to the movies, to parties and to nightclubs, cricket and football (ISL – Indian Super League) will be played and the Christmas and New Year festivities will soon be indulged in. Moping and mourning – not just now, but at any time – serves no purpose. If anything it can make people depressive. And what the people in Chennai need now is an uplifting energy, a celebration of human spirit, which only music can provide instantaneously – and uniformly!
One of the historic examples of the role musicians and music played at a calamitous time is of violinist Wallace Hartley and his band playing on even as the Titanic sank on the night of 14~15 April, 1912. After the Titanic hit an iceberg and began to sink, Hartley and his fellow band members started playing music to help keep the passengers calm as the crew loaded the lifeboats. To me, that’s true heroism, that’s a true celebration of Life!
Celebration does not always have to mean shouting from rooftops or dancing meaninglessly in an inebriated state. The whole journey of Life is a celebration – of being alive, of being human, of being a miracle. Death too is a celebration, as Osho, the Master, would say. His perspective: it’s freedom from the illusion called Life! On that spiritual plane, any loss – physical, material, emotional – is always an opportunity to start afresh. What Chennai needs now is that impetus, that fresh start, that new beginning…
So, to the artistes of Chennai, I would simply say, let the music play on….because the show, called Life, must go on…!
Since the Chennai floods arrived around the same time that the famous annual Madras Music Festival was set to begin last week, there is considerable debate on whether artistes and sabhas should go ahead with the festival this season.
I believe they should. The Festival must go on.
However, the choice to perform or not must be with left to the artistes. If they feel like performing, they must. And if they don’t feel like it, they may like not to! To be sure, the Dhananjayans, Vijay Siva, Bombay Jayashri and a few others have chosen not to perform. And yet Sanjay Subrahmanyam performed yesterday. Now, there’s nothing wrong with either choice. Music, if anything, is a form of expression of inner joy. Undoubtedly, all artistes, like everyone else is, are tormented by the floods in Chennai and the havoc it has caused in the lives of her citizens. While some artistes may want to immerse themselves in their music at this time, to get over their feeling of grief or to invoke their inner peace, others may not be able to bring themselves up to sing. And we must respect their individual choices and sentiments. Having said that, we must not forget that music has enormous healing power when it is performed as an offering to the Universe. No artiste really performs just for money or fame. They fundamentally perform because they lose themselves to the act of performing. When music, in fact when any work or service, is delivered with such selflessness, when it is an invocation and not just a mere stage performance, it heals. What Chennai – and the world at large – needs now is healing. In my humble opinion, going ahead with the Madras Music Festival this season would be not just right and apt, it will be hugely healing as well.
And, irrespective of what artistes and sabhas decide over this week, on what they want to do, let us not judge anyone. After all, all our lives will go on. They have to go on. Weddings will happen – given the season’s muhurthams already having been calibrated per an almanac – people will go to the movies, to parties and to nightclubs, cricket and football (ISL – Indian Super League) will be played and the Christmas and New Year festivities will soon be indulged in. Moping and mourning – not just now, but at any time – serves no purpose. If anything it can make people depressive. And what the people in Chennai need now is an uplifting energy, a celebration of human spirit, which only music can provide instantaneously – and uniformly!
One of the historic examples of the role musicians and music played at a calamitous time is of violinist Wallace Hartley and his band playing on even as the Titanic sank on the night of 14~15 April, 1912. After the Titanic hit an iceberg and began to sink, Hartley and his fellow band members started playing music to help keep the passengers calm as the crew loaded the lifeboats. To me, that’s true heroism, that’s a true celebration of Life!
Celebration does not always have to mean shouting from rooftops or dancing meaninglessly in an inebriated state. The whole journey of Life is a celebration – of being alive, of being human, of being a miracle. Death too is a celebration, as Osho, the Master, would say. His perspective: it’s freedom from the illusion called Life! On that spiritual plane, any loss – physical, material, emotional – is always an opportunity to start afresh. What Chennai needs now is that impetus, that fresh start, that new beginning…
So, to the artistes of Chennai, I would simply say, let the music play on….because the show, called Life, must go on…!
You can’t choose Life. It simply happens to you!
Are you shaping your Life or are you being shaped by Life?
In understanding this question and appreciating its import lies the key to spiritual growth. We are born without choice; this Life has been bestowed upon us. Our early upbringing, our education, the way we are engineered to receive knowledge, gain from it or let it go, are all beyond our control. Things just happen. As we grow older how we meet people, what we gain from or lose because of them is again a matter of the flow of Life, beyond our control. A great friend as your spouse or a nag, a soulmate or a cheat, a benevolent boss or a tyrant, exceptional children or vagabonds, a steady income or joblessness, nothing comes announced, nothing's controllable.
This morning's Hindu had the obituary announcement of Lt. Col. Venkatesan and his wife Geetha, who died on 2nd December in their home in Defence Colony, Ekkattuthangal, Chennai. That was the night of the floods. The announcement had no details on the cause of death. But a subsequent Facebook post, which has since gone viral, talked about how the couple were caught unawares by the floods and stood on top of their dining table screaming for help, unable to cope with the fury of the water that gushed into their home. It is believed both of them drowned that night, in their home, not able to even escape to their terrace!
Could the Venkatesans have controlled what happened to them?
The reality, the absolute and only Truth, is that we can’t ever control Life. And yet we have been told, conditioned, made to believe, that we shape our lives. Shed this thinking. Life simply happens. You__and I__get shaped by it. Over time, what goes up comes down. And what comes down goes up. And at some point all our lives, our stories, have to end, with death!
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, an ordinary storekeeper, who lived in Mumbai, until his death in 1981, and a spiritual thinker and teacher to thousands, says, when true awareness has come from within, we will be 'open and willing to let Life just flow'. “Be like a cinema screen. Clear and empty. The pictures pass over it and disappear, leaving it as clear and empty as before,” he says. The ability to be 'clear and empty' at all times, untouched by the pictures of our lives, is the highest, most exalted state, or the final shape, that Life can give you__and me! To get to this pinnacle of spiritual evolution, we must begin first with accepting Life as it happens – instead of trying to either resist it or analyzing it beyond a point. The rest of the ride up this escalator will then be as blissful as it will be eventful!
In understanding this question and appreciating its import lies the key to spiritual growth. We are born without choice; this Life has been bestowed upon us. Our early upbringing, our education, the way we are engineered to receive knowledge, gain from it or let it go, are all beyond our control. Things just happen. As we grow older how we meet people, what we gain from or lose because of them is again a matter of the flow of Life, beyond our control. A great friend as your spouse or a nag, a soulmate or a cheat, a benevolent boss or a tyrant, exceptional children or vagabonds, a steady income or joblessness, nothing comes announced, nothing's controllable.
This morning's Hindu had the obituary announcement of Lt. Col. Venkatesan and his wife Geetha, who died on 2nd December in their home in Defence Colony, Ekkattuthangal, Chennai. That was the night of the floods. The announcement had no details on the cause of death. But a subsequent Facebook post, which has since gone viral, talked about how the couple were caught unawares by the floods and stood on top of their dining table screaming for help, unable to cope with the fury of the water that gushed into their home. It is believed both of them drowned that night, in their home, not able to even escape to their terrace! Could the Venkatesans have controlled what happened to them?
The reality, the absolute and only Truth, is that we can’t ever control Life. And yet we have been told, conditioned, made to believe, that we shape our lives. Shed this thinking. Life simply happens. You__and I__get shaped by it. Over time, what goes up comes down. And what comes down goes up. And at some point all our lives, our stories, have to end, with death!
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, an ordinary storekeeper, who lived in Mumbai, until his death in 1981, and a spiritual thinker and teacher to thousands, says, when true awareness has come from within, we will be 'open and willing to let Life just flow'. “Be like a cinema screen. Clear and empty. The pictures pass over it and disappear, leaving it as clear and empty as before,” he says. The ability to be 'clear and empty' at all times, untouched by the pictures of our lives, is the highest, most exalted state, or the final shape, that Life can give you__and me! To get to this pinnacle of spiritual evolution, we must begin first with accepting Life as it happens – instead of trying to either resist it or analyzing it beyond a point. The rest of the ride up this escalator will then be as blissful as it will be eventful!
December 6, 2015
‘Tis time for rebuilding, renewal and revival
Life is a great leveler. At times you don’t have much choice but to just go with the hand that you have been dealt with.
A Facebook and WhatsApp forward that was shared by my friend caught my attention. Here’s what it had to say.
(The typos are as in the original!)
Photo Courtesy: PTI/Internet“I am prassana venkatram working as a system analyst for an American software company in Chennai. Presently drawing 18 lakhs P.A. proud owner of a 3BHK in suburbs of Chennai. Today I have 2 credit cards with more than 1 lakh credit limit and a bank balance of 65 thousand in my account. But due to heavy water logging I am not able to move out my house, all I need is water and food for my survival. Till yesterday I was worried about my appraisal and was expecting at least 15% hike but today I am standing in my terrace waiting for a food packet.Nature is the best teacher.”
Prassana’s candor makes the learning he shares very stark, real and relatable. At least those in Chennai, at the moment surely, can relate to what he says.
Another story I saw in this morning’s TOI threw up a similar learning. It narrated the experience of Deepika from Mudichur (a Chennai suburb) who had to keep her 77-year-old father’s dead body in her home because the floods prevented freezer boxes from reaching her and even if she had managed to secure one, the whole idea was rendered useless with the lack of electricity. She kept the body wrapped in a bedsheet for 2 full days and nights as she waited for the water recede – she lit incense sticks from time to time to keep the foul odor at bay. “My father deserved better,” Deepika told TOI.
Deservance is an aspiration that all humans have. You work hard, you are ethical, you are well-meaning and so you expect Life to be fair to you. You often always think you deserve more than what you are getting from Life. And then Life deals you a hand, catching you totally by surprise, reminding you in the process that Life happens not because of you, but in spite of you. If you are wise you will humbly accept the learning Life offers you through such an experience and move on. It is when you miss the learning, and choose to instead resist the Life that’s happening to you, that you suffer!
Prassana’s and Deepika’s stories are just two among the several million that you can hear from Chennaiites just now. And all of them will point you in one – only one– direction…just take Life as it comes, accepting it for what it is.
But there are many who simply don’t get this; they don’t understand Life.
Even as the floods were marauding Chennai, a friend pinged me on Facebook messenger. He observed: “I hope there’s no financial loss for you.” He didn’t appear to be interested in knowing if my family and I were safe. My reply to him was: “I have nothing material with me to lose.” Which is indeed true! Our 8-year-old-and-enduring bankruptcy has left us literally without material possessions. The few “things” we have, we have learnt to be detached with them, about them. The lesson that Prassana learnt with the Chennai deluge, we learnt through our bankruptcy. And that is the most beautiful quality about Life as a teacher – she always gives you the test first and the lesson later! And what she teaches you, when you internalize the lessons, make centered, anchored and grounded.
Chennai is moving on. And everyone here will have to move on too. Because there is no other way. When Life takes over, you just go with the flow. In this case, the flow – literally, the water flow – is encouraging everyone to let go of all their material possessions and make a new beginning.
The message is simply this: don’t grieve over what’s past and what’s lost! Don’t crave for deservance! Just get up, rebuild, renew and revive yourself!
A Facebook and WhatsApp forward that was shared by my friend caught my attention. Here’s what it had to say.
(The typos are as in the original!)
Photo Courtesy: PTI/Internet“I am prassana venkatram working as a system analyst for an American software company in Chennai. Presently drawing 18 lakhs P.A. proud owner of a 3BHK in suburbs of Chennai. Today I have 2 credit cards with more than 1 lakh credit limit and a bank balance of 65 thousand in my account. But due to heavy water logging I am not able to move out my house, all I need is water and food for my survival. Till yesterday I was worried about my appraisal and was expecting at least 15% hike but today I am standing in my terrace waiting for a food packet.Nature is the best teacher.”Prassana’s candor makes the learning he shares very stark, real and relatable. At least those in Chennai, at the moment surely, can relate to what he says.
Another story I saw in this morning’s TOI threw up a similar learning. It narrated the experience of Deepika from Mudichur (a Chennai suburb) who had to keep her 77-year-old father’s dead body in her home because the floods prevented freezer boxes from reaching her and even if she had managed to secure one, the whole idea was rendered useless with the lack of electricity. She kept the body wrapped in a bedsheet for 2 full days and nights as she waited for the water recede – she lit incense sticks from time to time to keep the foul odor at bay. “My father deserved better,” Deepika told TOI.
Deservance is an aspiration that all humans have. You work hard, you are ethical, you are well-meaning and so you expect Life to be fair to you. You often always think you deserve more than what you are getting from Life. And then Life deals you a hand, catching you totally by surprise, reminding you in the process that Life happens not because of you, but in spite of you. If you are wise you will humbly accept the learning Life offers you through such an experience and move on. It is when you miss the learning, and choose to instead resist the Life that’s happening to you, that you suffer!
Prassana’s and Deepika’s stories are just two among the several million that you can hear from Chennaiites just now. And all of them will point you in one – only one– direction…just take Life as it comes, accepting it for what it is.
But there are many who simply don’t get this; they don’t understand Life.
Even as the floods were marauding Chennai, a friend pinged me on Facebook messenger. He observed: “I hope there’s no financial loss for you.” He didn’t appear to be interested in knowing if my family and I were safe. My reply to him was: “I have nothing material with me to lose.” Which is indeed true! Our 8-year-old-and-enduring bankruptcy has left us literally without material possessions. The few “things” we have, we have learnt to be detached with them, about them. The lesson that Prassana learnt with the Chennai deluge, we learnt through our bankruptcy. And that is the most beautiful quality about Life as a teacher – she always gives you the test first and the lesson later! And what she teaches you, when you internalize the lessons, make centered, anchored and grounded.
Chennai is moving on. And everyone here will have to move on too. Because there is no other way. When Life takes over, you just go with the flow. In this case, the flow – literally, the water flow – is encouraging everyone to let go of all their material possessions and make a new beginning.
The message is simply this: don’t grieve over what’s past and what’s lost! Don’t crave for deservance! Just get up, rebuild, renew and revive yourself!
