Meryl Ain's Blog, page 6
May 3, 2015
Are You Missing Your Mom on Mother’s Day?
If you miss your mom as much as I miss mine, you’re probably feeling a bit wistful about Mother’s Day, which takes place this year on Sunday, May 10. Here’s a piece I wrote that was published in Huffington Post. It features some ideas from our book, The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last, to help keep your mother’s legacy alive. If you have any other ways you honor your mother’s memory, please share. May you always find comfort in living and loving memories, and may the memory of your mother always be a blessing.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meryl-a...
December 18, 2014
Holiday Grief: Losing Susan and Keeping Her Memory Alive
Perhaps that’s because Susan wasn’t just a sister-in-law, she was a good friend, a peer. At 61, she was so full of life and seemed so much younger. In fact, when we were together, we were like two college girls. Even if we started out discussing real concerns, we always ended up laughing and laughing. Maybe it was the fact that we were married to identical twin brothers, and shared — in a way we could share with no other — their foibles and quirks. Probably, it was because I learned so much from her, especially observing how she enjoyed every minute of her life in a way that few people do.
To read the full post in The Huffington Post, go to: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meryl-a...
Holiday Grief: Losing Susan and Keeping Her Memory Alive
The holiday season is in full gear, and everyone is supposed to be happy. But this year, all that merriment is tinged with a wrenching sadness. Just days before Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law, Susan succumbed to a seemingly mysterious, fast-moving case of end-stage heart disease. Following four surgeries, where doctors attempted to implant mechanical devices, remove blood clots and stop bleeding, she was placed on life support. After four weeks of mixed reports and false hope, it was over. All deaths diminish us, but this one has been especially difficult and troublesome.
Perhaps that’s because Susan wasn’t just a sister-in-law, she was a good friend, a peer. At 61, she was so full of life and seemed so much younger. In fact, when we were together, we were like two college girls. Even if we started out discussing real concerns, we always ended up laughing and laughing. Maybe it was the fact that we were married to identical twin brothers, and shared — in a way we could share with no other — their foibles and quirks. Probably, it was because I learned so much from her, especially observing how she enjoyed every minute of her life in a way that few people do.
To read the full post in The Huffington Post, go to: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meryl-ain-edd/holiday-grief-losing-susa_b_6348378.html
November 10, 2014
The Living Memories Project in Philly on Nov. 12
Tonia Tecce
In anticipation of Thanksgiving, the authors of The Living Memories Project will discuss the book’s message with a presentation and discussion with special guest, singer and lifelong Delaware Valley resident Tonia Tecce, whose story of how she carries on her father’s legacy is featured in the book. The event will take place on Wednesday, November 12, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. at Temple Beth Zion-Beth Israel, 300 South 18th Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last, written by Meryl Ain, Arthur Fischman, and Stewart Ain, is a new book that shows how grief can be transformed into positive action and living legacies. The book contains a collection of heartwarming stories of lives remembered and actions taken by individuals and families to keep the legacies and memories of loved ones alive. Individuals profiled in the book include celebrities and a number of Philadelphia natives.
The Living Memories Project describes, through interviews, anecdotes, essays, poems and photographs, the various ways in which 32 people remember loved ones. For instance, retired journalist and television host Nick Clooney speaks about the way he memorializes his sisters, Rosemary and Betty Clooney; actor Jack Klugman recalls his longtime acting partner Tony Randall; Lynda Johnson Robb speaks about her mother; and author Malachy McCourt discusses keeping alive the memory of his brother, Frank, author of “Angela’s Ashes.”
The book’s authors have experienced loss and understand the challenges in moving beyond mourning and channeling grief into meaningful action. The book was written by people who have suffered the loss of their parents and understand firsthand the difficulties involved in moving beyond mourning and preserving their parent’s values in their own lives.
“The book was cathartic and therapeutic for us to research and write,” said Fischman, a long-time Philadelphia resident whose jazz ensemble performs regularly in and around the city. “It is our hope that readers will find inspiration and healing, especially during this holiday season, in the many ways that the people we interviewed have preserved the memories, values and passions of their loved ones.”
September 10, 2014
Keeping Their Memories Alive
How do we envision a world without those who made us laugh and made us think and provided endless food for thought for our hearts and minds?
We grieve for them and for their families and we identify. We think of our own heart-wrenching losses that are not lived out in the public eye, but are as raw, mysterious, and troubling for us as they are for the families of those in the news. Compounding it all is the 13th anniversary this week of September 11 — that day when 3,000 innocent souls lost their lives and we, as Americans, lost our innocence forever.
To read the full post in the Huffington Post, go to: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meryl-a...
Keeping Their Memories Alive
As summer gives way to fall, several recent high-profile deaths have reminded us of the fragility of life. Among them: the shocking suicide of Robin Williams, the barbaric beheadings of journalists James Foley and Steven Sotloff, and the sudden tragic loss of Joan Rivers during a routine medical procedure.
How do we envision a world without those who made us laugh and made us think and provided endless food for thought for our hearts and minds?
We grieve for them and for their families and we identify. We think of our own heart-wrenching losses that are not lived out in the public eye, but are as raw, mysterious, and troubling for us as they are for the families of those in the news. Compounding it all is the 13th anniversary this week of September 11 — that day when 3,000 innocent souls lost their lives and we, as Americans, lost our innocence forever.
To read the full post in the Huffington Post, go to: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meryl-ain-edd/keeping-their-memories-al_b_5796544.html
August 24, 2014
KEEPING ALIVE THE MEMORY OF A MAGICAL NINE-YEAR-OLD
Riley Hannah Sandler has been described as “magical,” “extraordinary,” “caring,” “vibrant” and “beautiful inside and out.” She captured the hearts of all who knew her. She loved school and both her peers and her teachers loved her. This summer she attended sleep away camp for the first time, having a wonderful time and endearing herself to campers and staff alike. On her last night of camp, she suffered respiratory arrest. She was nine-years-old. She leaves behind her parents, Ian and Mackenzie, her brother, Brody, and her grandparents, Nina Sandler and Terry and Lonnie Kaplan. Her other grandfather, Julian Sandler, died in 2009.
All losses are painful and challenging. But the sudden and tragic death of a child is excruciatingly incomprehensible, heart wrenching and life altering. Is there a way to go on living after such a loss? In The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last, Sherri Mandell, whose 13-year-old son Koby was murdered by terrorists in Israel, says that grief is power that has to be harnessed. Following Koby’s murder, she and her husband, Seth, created camps and programs for bereaved children and families.
“You always carry the pain with you; it’s always going to be there,” she says. “Grief is energy and power and you have to harness it. If you don’t do something, it will destroy you. You have to find something within the love you have for a person to continue. …And you take that love and use it to create something….”
Riley was an awesome girl, and her accomplished and talented parents, Ian and Mackenzie, have moved with lightening speed to harness their grief and ensure that their beloved daughter will be honored and remembered. Within days of her death, they established The Riley Sandler Memorial Foundation to promote and support the health and welfare of children, and to support charitable organizations that assist children in need. What an appropriate tribute and a beautiful way to keep Riley’s memory alive! And in their family tradition of generosity, they are working to transform their grief into an enduring legacy for Riley that truly reflects their values and passions.
In just a few days, the Riley Sandler Memorial Foundation has gained 1,000 supporters. Click the link to learn more: http://www.youcaring.com/memorial-fundraiser/the-riley-sandler-memorial-foundation-inc/221100
May Ian, Mackenzie, Brody, and the family always find comfort in living and loving memories of Riley. And may the work of the Riley Sandler Memorial Foundation bring honor and glory to Riley’s name. May her memory always be a blessing.
August 8, 2014
Aging Boomers: Is 50 Really the New 30?
The weeklong celebration of Hoda Kotb’s 50th birthday on the Today Show culminated with a congratulatory video message from First Lady Michelle Obama to a surprised and delighted Hoda.
Throughout the week, 50 was celebrated as glamorous, sexy and a time for reinvention. This is all true, and I wish Hoda a happy birthday and many years of good health and fulfillment. But I have to think that it would have been nice when those of us in the leading edge of Baby Boomers turned 50 and then 60 to have had validation of how glamorous, sexy, and “young” we were.
First, I want Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda’s co-host, who turns 61 this month, to know that she is every bit as glamorous and vibrant as Hoda. In contrast to Hoda’s fete, when Kathie Lee turned 60 last year, she said she loved the attention but she didn’t want to be reminded of her age. She also made a few quips indicating that she thought 60 was “old,” including:
“You know why 60 and sexy sound so much alike? Because your hearing is starting to go.”
And of her August 16 birthday, she said: “I always remember it as the day Elvis died. Now I know how he feels.”
I’ll bet you won’t hear Hoda saying anything like that in 10 years.
It’s my contention that those of us on the leading edge of the Baby Boomer generation identify our needs, and the succeeding waves benefit by society’s adjustment to those needs. Just look at everything from ageism, to women’s rights, to childcare, and you will see that the older Baby Boomers paved the way for their own and succeeding generations. There’s already been talk about Hillary Clinton’s “age” should she run for President in 2016. That makes me angry and sad, and I predict that after people get used to the idea that 69 is not that old — relative to longer and healthier lifespans — it will also be a non-issue in future elections.
Of course, we live in a society that does not venerate age, experience, and wisdom. We are a young country and have always preferred new, shiny and glitzy things. But nothing stays new and shiny forever. Many older Baby Boomers, whose generation’s original mantra was “Don’t trust anyone over 30,” now have children who are older than 30!
There’s one area in particular that Baby Boomers cannot shy away from any longer. That’s the matter of mortality. Their parents –- who came of age during World War II — are dying in record numbers. According to recent U.S. Veterans Administration figures, members of The Greatest Generation – those in their 80s and 90s — are dying at the rate of 555 per day. It has been projected that the generation may die out by the end of the decade. And unfortunately, Baby Boomers are also experiencing other losses, such as spouses and siblings.
The U.S. has never been a leader in openly discussing death, dying, and bereavement, but it is time for the leading edge of the Baby Boomer generation to identify this as a need. Perhaps we might want to follow the example of Australia, where this year August 8 was officially designated as Dying to Know Day. Its website explains it as an “annual day of action dedicated to bringing to life conversations and community actions around death, dying and bereavement.” (http://www.thegroundswellproject.com/...)
Birth and death are opposite ends of the same continuum. It is time for Baby Boomers, as real grown-ups, to step up to the plate.
How do we venerate age? How do we talk about death, dying, and grief? How do we comfort the bereaved? How do we honor the memories and legacies of loved ones?
It is high time to begin the conversation.
The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last, by Meryl Ain, Arthur M. Fischman and Stewart Ain, was recently published by Little Miami Publishing Company. The authors are currently accepting stories from Baby Boomers for the sequel.
July 23, 2014
Author Discussion at The Hampton Synagogue: Loss, Healing, and Resilience
The authors of The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last, will discuss their book’s inspirational message of transforming loss into positive action and living legacies with the president of East End Hospice at the Author Discussion Series of The Hampton Synagogue in Westhampton Beach on July 31 at 7:30 p.m.
The authors, veteran New York Jewish Week reporter Stewart Ain and his wife, Meryl, Ed.D, will discuss loss, healing and resilience along with local End of Life and Grief expert Priscilla Ruffin, RN, MS, CS, NPP, East End Hospice’s president for over 25 years, clinical nurse specialist and trauma therapist, author, teacher and Camp Good Grief Founder.
The book contains a collection of heartwarming stories of lives remembered and actions taken by individuals and families to keep the legacies and memories of loved ones alive. It does so by profiling 32 individuals, including celebrities and a number of Long Islanders.
Among those in the book is retired journalist and television host Nick Clooney, who spoke about the way he memorializes his sisters, Rosemary and Betty Clooney; actor Jack Klugman, who recalled his longtime acting partner Tony Randall; Lynda Johnson Robb, who spoke about her mother, Lady Bird Johnson; and author Malachy McCourt, who discussed the ways he keeps alive the memory of his brother, Frank, author of “Angela’s Ashes.”
The book’s authors and Ms. Ruffin have all experienced loss and understand the challenges in moving beyond mourning and channeling their grief into meaningful action. “The book was cathartic and therapeutic for us to research and write,” said Dr. Ain. “It is our hope that readers will find inspiration and healing in the many ways those in our book have preserved the memories, values, and passions of their loved ones.”
Ms. Ruffin, who brings extensive expertise and experience to this topic, said: “This book clearly shows us there is life beyond the grief of most painful of first days, months or even years – we’ll find ways to remember and honor the people we loved.’
After reading The Living Memories Project, Rabbi Marc Schneier, spiritual leader of The Hampton Synagogue, wrote: “Loved ones leave us but the memories remain. In this spirit, the authors of The Living Memories Project render the reader a profound service by giving us the tools to confer immortality upon generations past.”
A dessert reception and book signing will follow the presentation, to be held at the synagogue, 154 Sunset Ave., Westhampton Beach, N.Y. This discussion is free to the public.
To read a review of The Living Memories Project, visit: http://danspapers.com/2014/07/by-the-book-living-memories-project-legacies-that-last/
To learn more about the book, visit The Living Memories Project website: http://thelivingmemoriesproject.com/. To learn about grief support, please contact East End Hospice at 631.288-8400, www.eeh.org or info@eeh.org.
June 27, 2014
The Living Memories Project On the Road
L to R: Steve & Liz Alderman, Jen Chapin, Art Fischman, Stewart Ain, Meryl Ain, Eileen Belmont
From L to R: Howard Ain, Nick Clooney, Meryl Ain, Stewart Ain
June was a very busy month for us and for The Living Memories Project. Early in the month, we traveled to Cincinnati for an intensive book tour.
We had three TV appearances there, along with Stewart’s identical twin, Howard, who is the Troubleshooter on WKRC in Cincinnati. We also did two book signings, one at Joseph-Beth Bookstore, and the other at the Booksellers at Fountain Square. At Joseph-Beth, Nick Clooney, the brother of singers Betty and Rosemary Clooney and the father of actor George Clooney, joined us.
Nick spoke about how he keeps the memories of his sisters alive through a variety of projects, and also about his grandfather’s value of social responsibility. He believes this value lives on to this day through George and his humanitarian work.
Nick’s story is one of 32 inspiring chapters in our book, which describes how individuals keep the memories of their loved ones alive through a variety of endeavors, acts, and tributes – big and small. We gave Nick an autographed copy to give to George, whose humanitarian work in Darfur is discussed by Nick in our book.
While we were in Ohio, we met with the grief team at the Hospice of Cincinnati as well as the leadership team at the Mayerson JCC. Both organizations expressed interest in The Living Memories Project, and were impressed with the upbeat and comforting nature of our book. We hope to work with both groups in the future, as well as others throughout the country that are involved in bereavement counseling and legacy planning.
Due to weather and equipment problems, all of the flights to New York City were cancelled on Friday, June 13, so we remained in Cincinnati for the weekend. Right before we headed to the airport Sunday, we did a live Father’s Day phone interview with the New York radio program, Religion on the Line with Rabbi Joseph Potasnik and Deacon Kevin McCormack. The program was heard on WABC Radio.
Thankfully, our plane took off in time, and we were able to enjoy a Family Father’s Day barbecue in New York.
On Tuesday, June 17, we had a great discussion at 92Y along with some of the people featured in our book, including: Liz and Steve Alderman, Jen Chapin, and Eileen Belmont. The Aldermans spoke about how they keep alive the memory of their son, Peter, who was killed on 9/11 at The World Trade Center. Their foundation, The Peter C. Alderman Foundation, helps establish mental health clinics throughout the globe to treat victims of torture terrorism. In addition, singer/songwriter Jen Chapin played an original song, and talked about how she keeps alive the memory of her father, folk rock icon Harry Chapin. And Eileen Belmont of eioftheneedle, spoke about how she creates memory quilts.
The next day, Stewart and I were joined by Leona Schwartz at a Hadassah Book and Author Luncheon in Dix Hills, NY. Leona spoke about her father, actor Eli Mintz, “Uncle David” from Gertrude Berg’s TV Show of the 1950s, “The Goldbergs.” She is also featured in The Living Memories Project.
We’ve been really gratified by the reaction to our book, and the lively and positive discussions it has engendered. Our audiences have been appreciative of the comforting, optimistic, and upbeat nature of the book, and often share their own experiences, activities, and memories of their loved ones.
We will be at The Hampton Synagogue in Westhampton Beach, N.Y., on Thursday, July 31, at 7:30 p.m, as part of its Author Discussion Series. We are also planning a summer event in Philadelphia. Stay tuned to The Living Memories Project Facebook page and website for more information.
Enjoy the summer!
Good Morning Cincinnati Interview about The Living Memories Project:
Stewart and Meryl Ain write book about grief – Local 12 WKRC-TV Cincinnati – Top Stories – YouTube
June 15 Father’s Day Interview on Religion on the Line. Our interview begins at 80 minutes, 15 seconds into the program:
http://www.wabcradio.com/common/page.php?pt=Religion+on+the+Line+Podcasts&id=602&is_corp=0
