Stephen Kuhn's Blog, page 22

Smart Quote: C.H. Spurgeon

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: C.H. Spurgeon appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Be Loved / Belong / Believe

Spoiler Alert: This is rarely helpful or effective.

Chances are, there’s at least one person in your life whom you’ve been praying will believe something deeply important to you is also deeply important to them.

However, no matter how hard you try to convince them, or how sound and logical your arguments are, they simply aren’t willing to consider your position. Your conversations all devolve into arguments, and you both walk away frustrated and hurt.

What if trying to change someone’s belief isn’t the best focus?

I wholeheartedly believe the foundation of true healing and freedom must be Jesus. To me that is not debatable. But if I’m talking with a guy who doesn’t hold that same belief and I make it my goal to convince him otherwise, there’s a good chance that will be our only meeting. He will feel like my only interest in him is to make him think like me—not to offer him help or be his friend.

In other words, he will feel like a project rather than a person.

That’s why I’ve found it’s much more productive to focus on loving others well than trying to change their beliefs. The beauty of this, is it’s actually much more likely to lead to meaningful and honest conversations about beliefs.

Let me explain how this looks in our recovery meetings.

Be loved: When a guy shows up for the first time, we make it a point to let him know he’s welcome and loved—no matter where he’s at in his journey. Even if he wants nothing to do with Jesus, we’re still glad he’s there. There’s no requirement to believe a certain way to be loved by and included in our group.

Belong: Our goal is that by knowing he’s surrounded by brothers who love him right where he’s at, he would eventually feel like a true member of the group (because he is).

Believe: This sense of belonging provides a safe environment for him to be honest about his struggles, and perhaps even ask questions about deeper faith issues as well. It may take hearing 100 stories from other guys in the group about their relationships with Jesus before he even considers looking into Christ himself—or he may never believe. Either way, we’re still going to keep loving him and welcoming him with open arms.

You see, we understand it’s not our job to change people (only God can do that), so we leave that part up to Him. Our job is simply to love people. And if we love them well, perhaps then they will ask us about the hope we have in our lives.

Or, you could always yell at them through a bull-horn. I don’t think that’s going to be very effective though.

The post Be Loved / Belong / Believe appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Desiring God: How to Have Intimacy with God

“But of course intimacy is not spatial but relational. We all know what it’s like to be sitting right next to a person with whom we feel distant and we can feel close to a person who is four thousand miles away.”

Seattle School of Theology: What I Learned about Healing from the Seattle Seahawks

“I quickly realized that the attitude I have toward the Seahawks is the same one I have toward myself. Will I ever be enough? Reflecting on the Seahawks, and what they reflect about my own life, I have discovered a few ideas about healing to take with me on my journey.”

Key Life: Why Controllers Control

“We have all come to our own conclusions about life and how it should be lived, and will fight hard to protect the sometimes thin veneer those beliefs represent between us and insanity. Because, listen, if I accept that your belief is true and mine is a pile of junk, then I’ve been living my life as a lie.”

ROAM: Come as You Are?

“We know that our God is one who invites us to come as we are, with an outstretched, merciful, calvary-like, hand. I know we know this given the message we proclaim via the pulpit at most churches. Do we, however, really mean what we say?”

John Piper: You Are More Loved Than You Imagine

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

DONE: You Are Right with God

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us (Romans 5:1).

When the Apostle Paul penned this verse, he had just finished writing an entire chapter explaining how Abraham was saved by his faith, not by his good deeds.

This must have been quite shocking to the original recipients of the letter, being that many of the Christians in Rome had grown up in the Jewish tradition. They saw Abraham as the father of their religion, which was based heavily upon following the law (good deeds) to maintain a right standing with God.

But now Paul is telling them it wasn’t actually Abraham’s ability to follow the law that saved him—it was his faith. Abraham trusted God, and that’s the only reason God counted Him as righteous.

Paul may as well have said up was down and down was up.

He could have stopped there, leaving Romans 4 as an interesting biographical lesson on the life of Abraham, but thankfully Paul continued on to write the verse we’re looking at today (and likely stunning his readers even more).

Paul wanted to make sure his readers knew that all these things he just told them about Abraham are also true for everyone who’s faith has been placed in Christ.

That includes you and me today.

In the same way Abraham’s deeds had nothing to do with his righteousness, your deeds have no bearing on your righteousness either. Simply put, you can’t earn God’s acceptance through behavior.

At first glance, the idea that you could never do enough good to earn God’s acceptance sounds likes bad news, but actually it’s wonderful news.

Think of it this way. If God’s acceptance depended on your good works, how much good would you have to do to know that you’d earned it? At a minimum, you would need to do enough to compensate for your mistakes, right? And then, every time you messed up, you would have to do more good deeds to get back to baseline.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds exhausting. Plus, you would never know for sure whether you were doing enough, so you would always doubt God’s acceptance of you.

But look once again at what Paul tells us in this verse. He makes it clear that we have been made right with God by faith.

“Have been…” Past tense. It’s a done deal.

Your righteousness had nothing to do with your good works when God gave it to you (through Christ), and it still doesn’t today.

By trusting that you have already been made right with God, it will free you from the endless treadmill of trying to earn your own righteousness.

And that, my friend, will lead you to tremendous peace.

This post was an excerpt from my book, DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ.

The entire book is available as individual posts here, but if you prefer a good old-fashion paperback, you can purchase a copy from Amazon.

The post DONE: You Are Right with God appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: John Eldredge

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: John Eldredge appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Steve McVey: Shaking Off Shame

“Remember this important truth: Adam’s sin did not change God; it only changed Adam. The same is true about your own life. There is nothing you have done or could ever do that would change how God feels toward you.”

Intentional Warriors: Do We Have To Be Warriors?

“The battle is real, and every man can sense he is in one, even if he lacks the framework to interpret it or the language to express it.”

CovenantEyes: Should a Pastor be Fired if He’s Viewing Porn?

“It would be like the Black Plague on the church if all of the struggling pastors had to resign. I believe they need help, not banishment.”

Storyline: The First Step Toward Seeing The Miraculous in Your Life

“Gratitude is a very small action can have an enormously positive effect on our lives. Here are two ways giving a little thanks can go a long way.”

The Bible Project: Job

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

DONE: You are No Longer a Slave… You are a Friend of Jesus

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me (John 15:15).

Deep in the American South, toward the end of the 1800s, some folks in a small town were getting ready for an event taking place that afternoon. This wasn’t a typical event like a carnival or a wedding though. No, these folks were setting up for a slave auction.

As hard as it is to look back at the reality of something as shameful as a slave auction, at this time they were still lively affairs—at least for those who were only there to observe. Many of the townsfolk would come to watch the wealthy plantation owners arrive in their fancy coaches and bid on new workers for their growing operations.

The work on these plantations was physically demanding, so the strongest and most muscular slaves would fetch top dollar.

Elijah, however, was not one of these powerful men. He was a small boy who was sure to be overlooked by the majority of the bidders. He knew before he even stepped in front of the crowd that he would likely be purchased by one of the smaller farms—if he was purchased at all.

The small farms, because of their reduced resources and income, were notorious for demanding impossible amounts of work from their slaves. Sometime, the owner could only afford one slave, and he would be isolated much of his life. Worse yet, many of these owners were known to beat their slaves violently if they couldn’t keep up with the demands.

Elijah was understandably frightened as he was forced onto the bidding stage.

The auctioneer held out his arm out towards Elijah and shouted, “Do I hear a dollar for this… this… runt of a boy?”

The crowd jeered with laughter.

“I need something to replace my mousing cat,” shouted a man in the front. “I’ll pay a dollar.”

“I need someone to clean up under my horses. He’s just the right size! I’ll pay two!” another man yelled.

As the auction progressed, the bidding climbed slowly but still remained far below the price of a typical slave. Elijah became more and more embarrassed as the crowd continued to belittle him.

He was ashamed.

He felt worthless.

The life of a slave was horrible enough, but adding public ridicule was almost too much. Elijah wished this life of torment forced upon him would somehow end.

But then, a man from the back stepped forward. “I will pay the highest price for this young man. I see value in him that none of you see, and I must have him as my own.”

Everyone, including Elijah, was shocked. But the man was indeed serious, and he took Elijah home with him that day for a sum far exceeding what anyone had expected.

As soon as they arrived at the man’s sprawling estate, Elijah asked him what his first job would be. He knew there would be nothing but endless work for him on a plantation as large as this man’s.

“No, Elijah. I did not purchase you to extend your slavery. I purchased you to set you free from your slavery. From now on, you will live not as my slave, but as my son—and as my friend.”

…

You and I may never have suffered the cruel fate of slavery in the American south, but we all were slaves to something far more sinister.

Every one of us was born under slavery to sin (see Romans 6:17-23). And if we wanted to overcome this sin, we became slaves to the law (see Galatians 4:1-7).

We had to endlessly strive toward overcoming our sin and reaching a point of perfection—a job that none of us could ever fulfill. We were like the young Elijah, unequipped for the demands forced on us.

We faced a future without any hope of freedom.

Thankfully though, God loves you far too much to leave you hopeless. He bought your freedom, knowing that you would never be able to pay for your own release from slavery. He paid your ransom—at the unthinkable cost of His Son’s blood—to purchase back the right to your soul for eternity.

Now, because you are set free in Christ, you are no longer a slave.

You are no longer chained to the impossible yoke of a cruel taskmaster.

You are God’s friend, and He has set you free.

This post was an excerpt from my book, DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ.

The entire book is available as individual posts here, but if you prefer a good old-fashion paperback, you can purchase a copy from Amazon.

The post DONE: You are No Longer a Slave… You are a Friend of Jesus appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: D.L. Moody

Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

XXXChurch: Porn Isn’t the Problem. So What Is?

“So, as I have said so many times before, we are free to ask the only real question: What do you want? Because you can have whatever you want – seek it and you will find it if you seek it with all of your heart.”

Tim Challies: The Character of the Christian–A One-Woman Man

“Thus this qualification is a call to devotion—devotion first to God and then to a God-given spouse. It is a call away from adultery to be sure, but also from a wandering heart, wandering eyes, or wandering hands.”

Dave Willis: The 4 steps to forgiveness

“We’ve ALL been hurt before, and we don’t always know how to deal with the pain of heartbreak or betrayal in a healthy way. Most people want to live a grace-filled life free from bitterness or grudges, but they aren’t sure how to do it.”

Christianity Today: Raising Kids in a Confused Culture

“The reality is, we as parents have an obligation to teach our children, in the midst of a culture that is confused, to have confident values that are based on both a Christian worldview and the teachings of the scriptures.”

Lauren Chandler: Sharing Your Past Struggles in a New Relationship

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

DONE: You Have Been Adopted by God

But to all who believed him and accepted him, He gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12).

You know what’s absolutely amazing? The God of the universe, Creator of Earth, the One who holds everything together, has adopted you as His child.

Think about that for a second and just try to comprehend what it means.

If you’re a parent, consider how much you love your kids. As much as you love them, though, it’s with an imperfect, human love.

God loves you even more than you love your kids, because He loves you with His holy, unconditional, and righteous God-love.

Jesus tells us an amazing story of God the Father’s love in the parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11–32). In the story, a rebellious son demands his inheritance from his father immediately. Culturally, this was the same as telling his father, “You’re dead to me now.” But rather than yelling at his son or punishing him, the father gives his son the money, lets him leave, and waits in anticipation for his return.

Every day the father looks off into the distance, hoping to see his son returning. When the son finally does return, the father doesn’t even give his boy a chance to grovel. He runs to him with open arms and tackle-hugs him at full speed! No matter how much the boy rejected or disobeyed His dad, there was nothing he could have done to make his father stop loving him.

Do you realize this is actually a story about God’s love for you? No matter how much you’ve messed up, He will always be standing there with His arms wide open—just like the father in the story—waiting for you to come home to Him. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been. None of it will make any difference in how much He loves you.

I never understood the depth of a love like this until my daughter was born. I can say without a doubt that there is nothing my girl could ever do to make me stop loving her. No matter how many times she hits me as a toddler, yells at me as a teenager, or disowns me as an adult, I will always be there waiting for her with open arms. I simply cannot fathom living my life apart from my favorite girl no matter what she does. Honestly. I’m even getting a bit choked up now just typing these words and thinking about how much I love her.

But as much as my daughter means to me, you mean even more to God as His adopted son.

He loves you to the same extent that He loves Jesus.

This post was an excerpt from my book, DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ.

The entire book is available as individual posts here, but if you prefer a good old-fashion paperback, you can purchase a copy from Amazon.

The post DONE: You Have Been Adopted by God appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.